by Jakob Walter
While I and the captain were still waiting for our major, the cold gripped me so terribly that I felt half-numbed. I said then, “Captain, if you still wish to wait, I’ll turn the major’s horse over to you. I feel that I am about to freeze, and so I am going.” Then the captain left, too, and the night showed us a burning hamlet about half a mile away to the left of the highway. We hurried toward it and warmed ourselves there till about five o’clock in the morning. Then I heard cheering and a terrible noise on the highway, to which I called the captain’s attention: “Let’s get away; the Russians must be on the highway.”
The captain did not wish to leave the fire, and only after strong argument did he come with me. I then had a horse for myself, in addition to the major’s horse, and took another which stood saddled by the fire. On account of the cold I did not ride but led these three horses by the straps, going toward the highway. Thus we came into the midst of the enemy on the highway. I did not have enough strength to mount my horse, because I could not set my feet, which were bound in rags, in the stirrups and without the use of stirrups I was too weak to mount. I trotted as well as I could with the horses. The Russians called to us that they would pardon us, thinking that we would stop and surrender. We called back, “Comrade, pardon us,” but we did not stop. Then the Cossacks rode first at the captain and his attendant and beat them over the heads; both fell from their horses. One also rode at me from the left and thrust his lance into my side, and so then I sprang to the other side of the horses. At the same time, however, a second Cossack thrust his lance at my neck. I let the two horses go, pulled the nearest one aside, threw myself into the snow and the horse on top of me; so both of us lay as if lifeless in the snow a little off from the road. Here I rested, lying in wait with no feeling of hunger or cold. I only kept my eyes and ears fixed on the enemy in order to get an opportunity to flee. I saw the beating and pushing, and heard the whining which continued around me and could not risk making a move. All who still were standing upright were knocked down or killed. Little by little the road was emptied, since the Cossacks in front pursued the army and those behind retreated with the captives. It was my good fortune that no Cossack could plunder or expose his hands because of the cold. They had their gloves on even while thrusting their lances; that is why the first stroke at me had only passed through some of my clothes, and even the second at my neck had not injured the flesh.
After a quarter of an hour had passed, I saw it clear around me, and immediately worked myself from beneath the horse, and ran straight to the nearest wild heaths and woods on the right side of the highway. Nevertheless, in the midst of my flight I picked up a kettle with a bail on it, inside of which lay peas and a package of muslin. While I was running along in 15 inches of snow, having escaped the danger, I thought of my rescue and thanked God for His fatherly providence—all the more so since I had obtained these peas and at the same time a cooking utensil in this lonely expanse, as though prepared by God. There was always a general need for cooking utensils, and only about one man in a hundred was provided with any. Nearly always I had to eat my horse meat, hempseed, rye, and raw grains uncooked. First of all, one had no fire; secondly, no water, having slowly to melt snow; and, finally, no utensils—usually, however, not any of all these.
In my half-joyful and half-dead condition I worked my way forward on this same day almost an hour and a half, traveling off the highway. Only the rumbling and clanging of iron tires, together with the cries of people, guided me unfailingly along my way. It grew dark, and I did not need to think: “Where will you sleep?” But as always: “The snow is your bed; and your coat and fur, your cover!” Yet suddenly I saw again a burning village about an hour’s journey ahead; so I hurried to get there. When I came near, I was on my guard until I heard what language was spoken. Since I heard no more Russians, luckily, I ran to the fire. There were some twenty buildings in flames. Here I again met three men from Württemberg, and I passed the night with them.
One of them said, “If you cook your peas and if I may eat with you, I will add salt and fat,” to which I gladly consented. Even without this offer I would not have been able to see my countrymen go hungry so near my own unusually good dish. The fat was added, and finally we ate. When we had eaten scarcely a few mouthfuls, however, our throats burned and itched so strongly that no one was able to keep on. We examined the fat: it was soap. The food had to be thrown out, and only our hunger remained, for the peas had all been cooked. We stayed there half the night and then traveled on. The next day and also the third one, I had nothing at all to eat except some beet-juice broth I found once in a wooden tub that had a hole in the middle about three inches wide, which was unfrozen so that I could quench my thirst.
18. NEAR OSCHMAENY (ASHMIANY), 4 DECEMBER 1812. G. KÜSTNER, PRINTER. EMMINGER, LITHOGRAPHER. THE RETREATING SOLDIERS FEND OFF A RUSSIAN RAIDING PARTY WHILE BIRDS OF PREY CIRCLE PATIENTLY OVERHEAD.
On the evening of the third day I reached the army just outside Vilna. It was in a terrific tumult. I arrived there scarcely before the Russians, who were constantly taking prisoners. Here I stood beside a mass of people who occupied all the hills in front of the city. On account of the horses and the wagons, many of them without living horses, which had piled in front of the city gates, the soldiers could not go ahead. With difficulty and with risk of life, people worked their way over the horses and wagons. Therefore, I decided to go entirely around the city and to come in from the lower side.
I was led to this undertaking by a countryman whom I met there by accident, the son of the old vine grower from Ellwangen, who came to us with the reserves. Having been acquainted with the city before, he led me into it by special paths; but in a short time I lost this good friend, too. Then I crept down a little side street into a house in which there were some Jews. I at once offered them money to get me brandy and bread. However, for my muslin, about ten yards, they offered me only a flask of brandy, about a pint and a half. I did not haggle long, because my hunger urged me to be short. I obtained the brandy, also a piece of bread, for four Polish florins and consumed everything with a ravishing appetite. When the brandy was gone, I extorted another such flask for one silver ruble but no more bread. Because I had drunk three pints of brandy within three hours, many might believe that I became terribly intoxicated, but I was far from that. Although the brandy was a decent grain brandy, I felt very little effect from it in my head, since my stomach and all parts of my body were empty and hollow and there had been no strength there before. Besides, I did not want to waste anything of this pleasure, since in my case it was a question of “Bird, eat or die!”
When the night was half gone, I started on my way so that I would not be at the rear of the army. I made my way into an enclosed court where there were many horses, untied one which was still in regular sleigh harness, and rode out of the city. About half an hour from the city there was a hill where the wagons and horses again were halted. The slipperiness of the road and the smooth horseshoes made climbing up impossible. The horses fell, and the piling up of the wagons blocked the highway so that those on foot had to climb over them. To avoid this tumult, I crossed the stream to the right and went down the valley. An hour’s journey below this hill, I rode over a less steep slope back toward the highway. Because I had been so fortunate at Vilna as to obtain not only bread and brandy but also a horse, it was even harder now to face the misery once more. Hunger began again, and the cold was still just as bad as in the past days. “Truly, how many more nights will you have to endure without shelter and without fire?” I thought again and again. “My friends, how you would love to help me, and how you would long to see me again, but will it be possible?” That is what I was dreaming about all day long.
By the end of December, we reached the Polish border along the Memel River. When I heard that it would be very hard to get through near Kovno, I led my horse up the river and crossed: it was filled high with pieces of ice, really drifting ice. Pieces from 15 to 18 inches thick drifted by, so th
at it was extremely troublesome to climb through between them. Here the Polish army turned to the left and set out on the highway into Warsaw. I and many other Germans made use of this turn. Everyone believed that the enemy would no longer pursue the Poles on this route, and, therefore, one would be safe; but in their eagerness to rob and plunder the enemy did not stop even here. Even the Poles themselves frequently robbed and plundered the Germans and French, as I found out the same evening.
That evening a troop of riders rode up to me and said, “Comrade, stay with us!” I said, “It’s all right with me.” When we had gone a little further, they attacked some of the soldiers and took their horses and whatever they had. When I saw this, I turned my horse and rode back as swiftly as possible. They did not catch me again, since just then there approached a troop of Westphalian infantry, which I joined. I expected to continue to travel with these. When it grew dark, however, we looked for a village, but we did not see one. Finally, some lights blinked from the other side of the Memel. We decided to cross back, for hunger and cold made us not so afraid of danger, and we believed besides that the enemy was far away.
It really was a village. Here, for the first time since we had left Moscow, I came into a decent house, where we were warm and could have bread and brandy for our money. There were ten of us, and the villagers did not seem to be dangerous. At last, about ten o’clock, two peasants asked for bullets, telling us that they were going rabbit-hunting.
The Westphalians still had rifles and powder, and they even gave them bullets. Hardly an hour had passed before a troop of peasants stormed in, seized those who lay on the floor, and took their rifles from them. I saw no chance for help and considered besides that these were Russian peasants, who were still brutal enough to do murder.
The lights were extinguished; and in an instant I took my hat under my fur and went out the door, took my horse which was standing tied and unbridled near the door, and rode away from the village over fences and snowdrifts without following any set course, so that I and my horse fell one time after another. Sometimes I fell beneath him and sometimes on top of him.
Now I was free and left to myself again. As soon as I noticed a trail, I rode as fast as I could, for the noise in the village was so great that I believed I might still be overtaken. I rode as quickly as possible over the cracks in the ice across the Memel River in order to get to the Polish side again. The whole night now I hurried to find a village where people from the army were to be found again. Finally early in the morning, I came into a little town which was crowded with Germans, Frenchmen, and Poles. Nevertheless, I was able to get some bread.
From the Memel River to Moscow and back from there to here, I had not obtained any bread, nor could I buy it except at Vilna; and now there was an end to horse meat. I still had twenty rubles in my pocket with which I hoped to satisfy my future wants. It is true at the time of my capture I had lost silver and silk worth four or five hundred florins besides the three horses and the remaining baggage of the major. However, I did not miss this particularly, since I had saved my life. The indifference toward money was so great with me that at a point four days’ journey from Vilna I did not touch a cart loaded with money which lay on the ground so broken up that the little coin barrels were rolling out. Only a few soldiers had taken any of it when I rode by. There were two reasons, though, why this money had no attraction any longer. It was nearly impossible for me to expose my hands, which were so stiff at the time that I could not feel or take hold of anything with them. I also was eager to get on so as not to be captured at the rear. This money wagon was abandoned as carelessly as any other wagon and the traces cut off. Then if the horses were still there and could be used, the men mounted them and rode on.
I hurried on, therefore, and took the highway between Königsberg and Warsaw to Thorn, where the road was thronged every day with Germans and Frenchmen. Until now there had been no thought of lodgings, nor could victuals be obtained except with money or force. One day along the road I came to a nobleman’s manor-house at which I asked for bread and obtained not only bread but also butter and brandy, for there was a house servant there who could speak German. He asked me my nationality and the name of the town or village where my home was. I told him everything, that I was a Catholic and that the late sovereign of my country had been a prince of the King of Poland.12 This pleased the man immensely, because when the Polish people knew that one was a Catholic they esteemed him much above others. Then I was given also several things to eat along the way; but, when I looked for my horse, it was already gone. Only as a particular favor on the part of the nobleman did I get it again. Nearly everyone who came along alone with a horse had it taken from him.
Several days later, while I once more drank a glass of brandy in an inn, having tied my horse in front of the door, it was stolen from me. All my searching in houses and stables was useless, and so I was set on my own feet again. Until now my feet had been wrapped with woolen cloth over my shoes, but because of the weight this was a hindrance to walking. Now, every morning as soon as I was outdoors, it was necessary to run energetically for an hour along the way. I thought it would be impossible to keep my feet from freezing.
Then with eight German comrades I proceeded toward Ortelsburg, where the road led through a wood that it took almost three hours to journey through.
In this region the Poles had formed robber bands wearing Cossack’s outfits with sabers, pistols, and other arms. A gang of these actually came and grabbed me, one at the right, one at the left, the third setting a saber against my breast. My comrades ahead remained unassailed, because they looked somewhat more like beggar Jews than I. Now the robbers tore off my fur, coat, cape, vests, and my head cloths; threw me to the ground; and were about to pull off my boots, too. In the meantime they found my money, to the amount of 18 rubles, in my cape pocket. This was my salvation: had they not found the money, I would have been left to freeze to death unclothed. As it was, however, they threw down the coat and the cape again along with one of the two vests and traveled off with the money, the fur, the other vest, and two head cloths. During this time my comrades kept hidden in the distance; and, when they saw that I was set free, they came running back and dressed me, for I was so stiff that I was not in a condition to dress myself.
That same evening I came to Ortelsburg and for the first time was given regular quarters. From this city I went on to Niklawi [Mlava?] and at that place received quarters again. It was just Christmas Eve, a date I would not have known if I had not learned it from the landlord. Here I also washed myself for the first time, but I could not rid myself of the lice, or rather of my “sovereigns,” because if I had murdered as many as a thousand then the many other thousands would have taken revenge on me. For this reason, I did not undertake an attack on them.…
The washing of my hands and face proceeded very slowly because the crusts on my hands, ears, and nose had grown like fir-bark, with cracks and coal black scales. My face resembled that of a heavily bearded Russian peasant; and, when I looked into the mirror, I was astonished myself at the strange appearance of my face. I washed, then, for an hour with hot water and soap. However, I felt I had only become somewhat smoother and lighter, but I could not notice any removal of the blackness and the scales. Only where I had not been shaving did a somewhat lighter skin appear.
In this city, as in all Poland, there were also newly established regiments which had been enlisted for the reenforcement of our army. These people were on horseback, armed with lances, and had on thick coats and clothing in which hardly any of them could move about. I saw several who made a desperate effort to mount a horse, only to fall down again on the other side when they thought themselves up.
As we were departing the next day, the gate toward Thorn and Warsaw was barricaded against us, and everyone was supposed to go back to Königsberg according to the orders of the commandant of the city. This commandant acted on orders. However, we knew the condition of the army better. We were hardly outside the Kön
igsberg gate when we all marched to the left again toward the Thorn highway, in order not to run into the midst of the enemy near Königsberg. Indeed, it cost us enough exertion to get to Thorn before the Russians; with a delay of another two days, it would not have been possible.
On the way we met a column of Bavarians who were en route from Königsberg to the gathering place at Plock. They told us the news that the Würtembergers, too, were gathering in Thorn and that the Germans all had permission to go home. This report strengthened my spirits again, since I had always thought that at the Vistula the army would take up its station and be reorganized and, therefore, that no one would get home or be discharged before another two years or so even if all should go well. I had been convinced of this by the enlisting in Poland.
Finally I came to Thorn; and my only silver ruble, which had escaped notice in my little watch pocket at the time I was plundered, was spent. Here I went to the town hall to obtain quarters, but could not get in on account of the mob. By chance a German soldier came along and said that on this street at a certain number there lived a commissioner from Württemberg and that he would give out passports and travel money. I presented myself immediately and obtained a five-franc thaler and a pass for the third convoy to Inowrazlav. Hence I was one of the last to come to Thorn.