“Keir!” I felt as if I had suddenly stepped into cold water as an image from the past leaped into my mind. I was twelve years old, walking along the riverbank, carrying a pile of washing down to the ford. The stream had swollen with rain and foamed over the rocks. Some of the boys splashed about, yelling and frolicking, right in the middle of the surging current. Keir was one of the larger ones and a better swimmer than most. Conal was with them too. I was surprised, because he did not a swim well and he rarely went far from the bank. That day he was out in the very middle of the stream. I put down the clothes and I knelt down to wash the first garment. I heard a yell and was just in time to see Conal’s head disappear under the water.
“Conal!” I jumped to my feet, dropping the shift I held, and then I realised that Conal had not slipped and fallen as I thought. Keir stood beside him, deliberately holding his head under.
“What do you think you’re doing?” I screamed, running into the water towards him.
“Seeing how long your baby brother can hold his breath!”
“Let him go! You’ll drown him!”
“Make me!”
I reached him and yanked his arm. He let go of Conal with one hand, to push me away. Conal rose spluttering, as I fell over backwards and the water closed above my head. The sunlight flickered above me, through the pale green ripples. Then I felt hands on my shoulders. I cannot say, to this day, whether Keir was pulling me up or pushing me further under. All I know is that I swallowed so much water; I remembered nothing more. I opened my eyes to find myself lying on the bank with Mian pounding hard on my back. Keir was punished for what he had done when his father learned about the incident. He avoided both Conal and me for months afterwards.
I could not even remember the last time I had spoken to him. For him to ask for me in marriage gave me a blinding shock. I felt terror rise in my throat and stifle me. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think he would want us to spend our lives together. I had always believed he thought the same way about me as I did him, with loathing. Since we grew up, he never made the slightest approach to me and I would have run away if he had. Mummig must have heard the shock in my voice because she said,
“Keir is a good match for you now. He has become your equal in terms of land, because of his inheritance from Jole and Payl. The rest of his family are all dead. He can support a wife without having to travel to find work in the quiet months, as he did before. He told us he didn’t think of marriage until this year. The deaths in his family made him decide not to wait any longer to marry and have his children. He says he admires you for the way you took on my duties while I’ve been sick. He thinks you’re a hard worker, who can help him to make his land prosperous again. He promises to be a good husband and look after you and the children, if you accept him. Your father and I would be pleased if you did. Keir will make a strong husband and give you a fine house here in the village, close to me, unlike Brede.” She sighed. The only thing that grieved her about Brede’s marriage was how far away she lived, too far to visit often. We had not seen her for months, although word had come that she had been among the lucky ones whom the sickness had not touched.
The shock of Mummig’s revelation still made me queasy. I did not believe Keir had changed. The youth who deliberately held a young boy’s head under the water, just for fun, still existed within the man. There were similar tales about him, although, to be fair, none of them recent. Yet a bully does not change. I’d only be exchanging his blows for my father’s, if I married him and displeased him in some way. I did not intend to spend the rest of my life in fear.
“I wouldn’t marry Keir if he was the last man left alive,” I said, when I was capable of speaking again. “I detest him. He’s a cruel and unpleasant man. I’m sorry to displease you and my father, but you’re asking me to do something I can’t do.”
She sighed. “You’d be in your own house...” She did not say the words, but I heard them nonetheless ‘away from your father’.
“I’m sorry, Mummig, I know you believe this is a good match for me. I would be so unhappy, I can’t give my consent.”
“We can’t force you, as you know, but your father won’t be pleased.”
“I’ll not live with a man who has yet to shed a tear for his father and brother, his closest kin.” I almost spat out the words. It was not the real reason for my hatred, but an explanation of sorts.
“Grief can be expressed in many ways and Keir is a grown man...”
“Nor has he ever given me the slightest sign that he cares for me.”
“Neither did your father, before we wed.”
“That I can readily believe,” I said dryly.
She frowned at me. She has never allowed me to criticise my father.
“For many people, affection develops after their wedding.”
I shrugged. “Perhaps so, but it is my right to choose the man I marry. I may receive another offer, one more pleasing to my father than Keir’s.”
“Or none at all. Have you thought of that?”
I had, as every girl does, but I knew I was not ill favoured and my family was considered rich. This might indeed be my only offer, but, more likely, there would be others and anyone would be better than Keir.
“I would rather stay single all my days, than marry him,” I said firmly. I thanked God that the king’s law protects me and the choice is mine.
“Is that your final word?”
“Yes. Would you please tell Father my answer?”
“I will, but what a pity. I looked forward to making the green dress for you and seeing you dance at Lughnasa. Green suits you so much.”
“Yes, I’m sorry about that, too. The cloth is lovely and just what I’d choose to wear at my hand-fasting, whenever that may be.”
“Well, perhaps I’ll buy the material anyway and keep it for another year, if not this one.” Her face was grave but her lips twitched into a faint smile.
My father wasn’t pleased, and he took little mean ways to vent his displeasure on me, but nothing serious. As McLir predicted, he feared the consequences too much. Now I had come to a marriageable age, I had also become valuable to him at last. So he no longer beat me, as he used to do when I was a child. Only one thing altered. He began to spend more of his time with Keir and I often found them talking quietly together in corners. They always stopped as I drew near. Mummig, once she realised she was unable to change my mind, protected me from the worst of my father’s temper. I was grateful to her. The situation remained uneasy and could not last.
Keir took my decision badly when Father told him. He argued with my father at first and someone overheard him say he would change my mind and have me anyway.
He started to wait and follow me, as I moved around doing my work, seeking to speak to me alone. I stayed among the other women as much as possible, but I could not avoid him forever; our village is too small.
I had developed skills to evade my father, but he wanted my company as little as I wanted his. Avoiding someone who sought me was much harder and eventually, one day, my luck and my skill both failed me. It happened some weeks later, just before Lughnasa.
For a while, Keir seemed as if he had given up the chase. I began to relax and grew, perhaps, a little careless. I did not realise my danger, until it was upon me, in a place where I could avoid him no longer.
12
Conal, or one of the other children, usually fetched home the cows for milking. On that day, the evening shadows were lengthening, with no sign of them anywhere. I could hear several of the beasts lowing in pain. Without thinking, I stopped what I was doing and went to fetch them in myself. It had become second nature to me to check whether Keir lurked nearby, watching me. When I saw there was no sign of him, I hurried down to the meadow. I was glad of the chance to go for a walk, because the evening was lovely.
All but one of the cows waited for me in the field where they usually grazed. However, the red heifer had wandered away, as she sometimes did, and was nowhere to
be seen. I rounded up the others and herded them back to the pen, for the women to milk. Then I went into the woods in search of the truant. It was not the first time she had made us hunt for her. She liked some of the plants which grew deeper in the wood. They seemed to be more to her taste than plain meadow grass. Today, she was obviously in no hurry to be milked and she had wandered off again. I hoped to find her before the night meal. At least, I had enough daylight left to help me search, as the days were still long.
It took almost an hour before I found her, grazing peacefully in a clearing. I was hot and irritable by this time. My annoyance must have sounded in my voice. Although she raised her head when I called her, she buried it again amongst the foliage. Whatever she had discovered was much more interesting than the grain I held in my hand to tempt her to me. I sighed. In this mood, if I approached her directly, she would run off even further away. So I circled round, to approach her from behind and drive her back towards the village. I crept through the trees, taking care lest a branch snap under my foot to startle her.
A hand closed suddenly on my arm and I almost jumped out of my skin.
“Keir!” I cried, forgetting the need for silence in my shock. The cow heard me behind her. She raised her head and, seeing us, began to trot away in the wrong direction. This was just what I didn’t want her to do.
“Now, look what you’ve done!” I cried, thoroughly exasperated. “Let go of me. If I don’t catch her soon, I’ll never find her and she’ll be out all night!”
I tried to snatch my arm away, but he held me tight and gave me a shake.
“To hell with the cow! I’ll help you catch her later, if you’re so worried about her. She’ll come back in her own sweet time when she wants her bag emptied anyway. Look at me! I’ve been trying to speak to you alone for days, but you keep avoiding me. You won’t avoid me any more.”
I raised my eyes and met his stare defiantly, although my heart pounded so hard that I thought he might hear.
“Your father tells me you won’t marry me. Why not?” His voice trembled with his anger. I suddenly realised how big he was and how strong. We were deep in the woods, where no one would hear me if I started to scream. But I was angry too. He had no right to question my decision. If I did not want to marry him, no one had the right to force me to do so. He knew that as well as I did.
“Why did you ask for me? You’ve never been interested in me before,” I snarled back at him.
“You weren’t of an age to marry until now. I couldn’t ask for you anyway, if my father and brother hadn’t died. I had no land of my own, and I could only expect a small piece, if Payl had lived. I can ask for you now. It would be a good match for both of us. Your father’s fields border on mine and he agreed to give you part of the land at our wedding.”
“So all this is about land and nothing else?” I hissed the words at him.
“Did you expect me to declare my undying passion for you? I’m a farmer not a prissy bard!”
“I thought, when I wed, my husband might want me for myself, as Aland wanted Brede. I don’t want to be asked just for the land that will be mine.”
“Aland’s always been a fool about Brede. He would have wed her if she only had the shift on her back.”
“And you would not?”
“Aland can afford his fancies – he’s rich enough, richer than I’ll ever be. No wonder Oshin was glad to marry Brede off to him. It didn’t cost him anything. Now he has prosperous kin to help him when the harvest is poor. I’m different. Your father would never have listened to me, if I’d asked for you before I inherited. So I couldn’t say anything to you. I knew he’d forbid it.”
“Are you telling me that’s the only thing which stopped you asking me?”
“That and your age. If I didn’t want you to be my wife, I wouldn’t ask for you now, land or no land.”
“I notice you’re not mourning poor Jole or Payl. All you seem to talk about is how glad you are to inherit from them.”
“How do you know whether I’m mourning or not? Jole was a good father to me and I miss him, but Payl and I never got on, as you well know. I didn’t like him, and he didn’t like me. It happens in families. He wouldn’t be weeping now if I’d been the one to die instead of him. He’d be rejoicing he had my share, just as I’m pleased to get his. I’m not going to lie to you.”
“What makes you think I’d be a good wife for you? You’ve never even noticed me.”
“I looked at you plenty, but you didn’t seem to see me. Would you like it if I leered after you whenever you went past?’
“Probably not,” I replied truthfully, feeling a bit shaken. His last question had the ring of truth. “I don’t want to marry anyone yet. I’m too young.”
“Feena was married and had borne Brede at your age.”
“My mother knew she wanted my father when he asked for her.”
“I asked for you and, in time, you will want me. I will have you, one way or another.”
“What do you mean by that?” Fear rose up in my throat, almost choking me. There was such a note of resolve in his voice.
“I asked for you honourably and you refused me. There’s more than one way of getting what I want. If you won’t take me in a marriage of equals, I’ll have you by rape!”
“Don’t you dare touch me! The magician will come and get you if you do!” I shouted, backing away from him, but he followed me, laughing with a kind of cruel triumph.
“Don’t give me that tale to frighten children!”
“It’s true!”
“Let him try! I’m not afraid of him.”
He reached out, clasped me to him and threw us both onto the ground. I struggled, but Keir was far stronger and I had no chance of escape. He held me down firmly with one hand. He ripped up my skirt and fumbled at the lacing of his breeches. My struggles started to weaken, as the squirming of his body drove the wind from me. I tried to scream, before I lost my breath altogether. The sound came out more as a strangled moan, too low for anyone to hear me, unless they were close.
I felt Keir’s bare skin rasp against mine, and his breath hissed through his teeth. His weight pinned me to the ground. His shoulders were grinding into me, stopping me from screaming again. My sight began to blacken, as he pressed down on top of me, so I did not hear or see anything. His full weight fell on me suddenly, driving out all the rest of the air from my chest. I thought that I was suffocating. Then, he rolled aside and I was able to catch my breath again. I gulped, shook my head and opened my eyes.
I could not believe what I saw. McLir stood over me, holding his staff like a weapon. Shea had one of his great paws on Keir’s chest, pinning him to the ground. The dog growled with his teeth bared. I started to cry, with relief and shock. McLir put his arms around me, holding me as if I was a child to be comforted, until my sobs slackened.
“Thank God you came,” I said, when finally I could speak again.
“Thank the gods you screamed, or Shea wouldn’t have found you.”
“Both of you always come to my rescue.”
“The man was too intent on what he was doing to notice us. We were upon him before he realised we were here. I hit him with my staff and Shea did the rest.”
I looked over at Keir, whose eyes rolled about wildly with his fear, showing their whites. Shea still towered over him, so he did not attempt either to move or to speak. McLir helped me to my feet and wrapped his cloak around my shoulders, covering the torn remnants of my clothes.
“Come.”
“Where?”
“I’ll take you back to your father.”
I clutched tightly to his arm. “No, please. If I go home, Keir will try again and he’ll make certain there’s no one around next time. Rape is his only way of making me marry him, because I refused him when he asked for me.” I shuddered. “I’d rather drown myself than wed him. My father won’t protect me, and my mother cannot. Father wants me gone out of his house. In fact...” The thought struck me like a hammer blow
. I suddenly tore myself away from McLir and went over to Keir, who still lay on the ground, under Shea’s paw.
“Raping me is what you and Father talked about, isn’t it?’ I screamed into Keir’s face. ‘He told you to do this, didn’t he?” Keir became even whiter. “Oshin told you to rape me, so we would be married. Then he could get rid of me and you’d be able to join up the land!”
Keir shook his head and tried to sit up, but Shea did not loose his hold and barked at him. Keir looked into the mouthful of vicious teeth, barely an inch from his neck.
“It wasn’t like that!”
“No? What did you talk about then, all those times when you didn’t want me to overhear?”
“Nothing! I swear!”
“Shea!” McLir gestured. At once, the huge hound lowered his jaws even further over the prostrate man. He opened them, as if he was poised to tear out his throat. Keir thrashed about. The dog never shifted his weight, except to come nearer to the bulging skin. His whiskers touched Keir’s neck before the man cracked.
“All right! All right! I’ll tell you! Call off your cursed dog!”
“Shea!” McLir said again. So great was the understanding between them, this time Shea moved his head away, although he did not move it far.
“Oshin wanted you wed to me because of the land and because he thought I’d tame you. Since rape was the only way you left me, he told me to go ahead and he’d make everything right afterwards. He said he never believed the rumour this man would protect you.”
“Well, you were both wrong about that, weren’t you?”
I whirled round to McLir. “Take me with you, please,” I begged him. “You heard what he said and I believe him. I knew he was plotting something with my father. The pair of them kept talking together and looking over at me, as if I was a prize sow. If you don’t take me away, you might as well leave me here and he can finish what he started. If I go back, I’ll never be safe.”
I watched McLir’s grey eyes, reading the indecision in his expression. I shook like a leaf with fear and the terrible realisation my own father disliked me enough to sell me to this man. The two of them had tried to twist the law for revenge and profit. Several emotions fleeted across McLir’s face, but too swiftly for me to read them. I waited in dread of his decision, terrified he would refuse me.
Manannan's Magic (Manannan Trilogy Book 1) Page 11