“What other injuries?” Her face drained of all color. “Oh God, no. They didn’t…?”
Dan bit back a curse. He’d already said too much. There was no way he was going into those details. Yet even as he resolved to keep his friend’s secret he could see his friend’s lover putting two and two together. How could he tell her that if it had gone on for much longer Adam would most likely have been as good as emasculated?
It seemed that his silence communicated the truth.
“God, I’m sorry, angel, I shouldn’t have told you.”
She was crying silently, great tears of sorrow and grief rolling down her face. She would have had no idea what Adam had been through, why he’d had such disturbing nightmares for so long. And now he’d been shot right in front of her.
“I wish I could have been there for him then.”
Now Dan understood why Adam loved this woman so much and why it was getting more and more difficult to continue to convince himself that he was a confirmed bachelor. “You’re here for him now. He’ll be all right, Beth—keep the faith. He’s tough. He wouldn’t let us carry him out of there. His body and mind had been subjected to the worst hell you can imagine and then some but he was determined to walk to the helicopter with as little assistance as possible. He survived everything they threw at him back then.” And the weeks in the hospital while his damaged body recovered.
He watched the bewildered shake of her head, knowing that the small gesture was the tip of the emotional iceberg she was struggling with, saw the way her expression changed in the fight to find something to say. But Dan knew there were no words—not for a woman who loved a man the way Beth loved Adam. The pain Dan had seen his friend suffer was right there in his woman’s gaze.
Dan reached across to cover her hand with his, telling her silently that words were not necessary because they both understood—they understood everything. She nodded in acknowledgement but the revelation had left an older shadow in her beautiful eyes.
“After all that I can understand him wanting to move into something completely different but how did he end up in this business? It’s light years away from security.”
Dan took a deep breath. That was a tale and a half and all this time later they’d still not got to the bottom of it. Again, it wasn’t Dan’s story to tell but he didn’t see any harm in sharing it with Beth. She needed to hear something better to take away some of the distress caused by what he’d just imparted.
“About a month after he left GC Security, some money appeared in his bank account. It was a huge amount, Beth, seven figures and neither of us could work out where it came from. He tried to get the bank to return it but for reasons that to this day remain a mystery, it couldn’t be done.”
Dan toyed with his empty coffee cup. What he was about to tell her still sounded totally unbelievable even after all this time. Nevertheless, she was entitled to know—she was Adam’s woman.
So he told her about the letter inviting Adam to a meeting at an exclusive hotel in London, the wealthy foreign national who’d asked him to source a unique item of jewelry and provided him with the necessary contacts. He’d been handsomely rewarded and more work of a similar nature had followed from that source and other individuals of similar financial status.
“Now we’ve never been able to prove it but we suspect that it’s linked to the foreign diplomat whose son Adam was escorting. An expression of gratitude.
“He tried to send the money back time after time ever since but in the end he had to accept that he would never be able to return it—so he decided to donate it to an ex-servicemen’s charity instead.”
“The money didn’t come from that first client then?”
Dan shook his head. “The only thing that made the slightest sense was that there was some sort of connection between the deposit and the diplomat whose son Adam was escorting. That it was some sort of compensation for what he’d suffered—because if he hadn’t been there they may well have overcome their reluctance to hurt the boy—and that there was also a connection between the diplomat and that first client. Further commissions followed, requests for him to source jewelry, gemstones, fine art. The rest, as the saying goes, is history.”
Dan checked his watch. “I have to go now. We’ve managed to keep a lid on this so far but it’s going to take some heavy hitters to keep it that way.”
“Where are you going?”
“Back to London. Adam and I have good friends in high places as well as low—friends who owe us a lot and it’s time to call in the favors. I’ve already spoken to them by phone to get buy-in from the local cops, so they won’t bother you but I need to go and talk to them face-to-face. When I do, it will ensure that there’ll be no comeback for all of this.
“Anything you need, if there’s anything I can do, call me, no matter what time, day or night.”
Beth reached across the table to squeeze Dan’s hand. “Thank you—for everything.”
“You’re most welcome, Beth.” He lifted her hand to press a brief kiss to the back of it. “Take good care of yourself—and him. He’s a lucky man. Now let me escort you back upstairs before I go.”
* * * * *
Having said goodbye to Dan, Beth returned to the ICU. She was starting to feel a little lightheaded. Hopefully the doctor would be finished with Adam now and she could go back to sitting with him.
She watched the doctor leave, then went back to the side of the man she loved. He was still unconscious, although there seemed to be a little more color in his face. She resumed her place at his side, taking hold of the hand that lay so still on the sheets. She needed to talk to him—there was so much she needed to tell him.
“Please, Sir. Come back to me. I need you so much. I need to tell you how much I love you, how much you mean to me. Please, Adam.”
She also needed to tell him that she knew what had happened, that she understood and it changed nothing.
And then there was the simple fact that she couldn’t forget the horror of watching Adam fight to save both of them, how powerless she’d been to help him, at the same time terrified of letting go of the switch that stood between both of them and oblivion.
Most of all, though, what she couldn’t get out of her mind was how Adam had repeatedly put himself between her and Underwood as the two men struggled for control of the gun. Thanks to what Underwood had done to her hands, she couldn’t even help by grabbing hold of the knife that Adam had dropped at the start of the fight. She could only watch until that dreadful moment when, with the gun between their two bodies, the trigger had been pulled and with a final herculean effort Adam had dispatched their attacker by breaking his neck.
Almost in slow motion she’d watched Adam collapse to his knees and look toward her, before pitching forward, unconscious before he hit the floor, blood blossoming over his side, too far away for her to get to him, to be with him.
It was a nightmare that would live with her for the rest of her life.
At such close quarters, the gunshot wound could have been a hell of a lot worse—not the doctor’s exact words of course but that was the message when they’d brought Adam back after surgery. He’d be unconscious for a while yet to allow his body to start the healing process and it was still impossible for them to say how long he’d have to remain in the hospital.
She felt so tired—so very tired. Perhaps a little nap would help. She leaned forward, pillowing her head on her arm. Just a few moments. That was all she’d need. She’d be fine then.
Chapter Sixteen
Adam groaned. He couldn’t remember having been around any horses lately but sure as hell one had kicked him. Judging by the way everything was aching, it must have been a bloody carthorse.
That was funny. He couldn’t remember painting his bedroom ceiling that insipid eggshell color either. And the smell—it was the unmistakable smell of a hospital and for a second it was ten years ago. He felt the pain, the nausea, the shame all over again.
No, not ten years�
�
“Beth!” Her name came out as an almost unintelligible croak.
He tried to get up but it felt like his head weighed about two tons. When he tried again, he became aware of several things all at once, his side hurt like hell, even more than the rest of his body, and he was damn near strapped to the bed by a bunch of tubes and wires. A steady beeping provided a comforting confirmation that he was still alive.
Movement drew his attention to the left. A middle-aged nurse with a cheerful smile was standing there. “Good afternoon, Mr. Granger, good of you to join us at last.” She checked the displays on the monitors around him. “How do you feel?”
“Like shit,” he rasped unapologetically. “Where’s Beth? Miss Harrison? How is she?”
“Your young lady? I believe they’re getting ready to discharge her.”
Discharge her? She’d been an inmate too? “Is she all right? I want to see her.”
To his surprise the nurse chuckled. “She’ll be here soon I’m sure. The only reason she isn’t here now is because they have to go through the discharge paperwork. I don’t know how but she managed to persuade her doctor and yours to let her spend most of the time here with you. She wouldn’t leave your side unless one of the doctors ordered her out. I would imagine she’ll be back here by the time the doctor’s done with you. He’s on his way now.”
Adam felt his eyelids closing. Bloody anesthetic. He had to stay awake—he had to see Beth, make sure she was all right. He endured the prodding and poking, not to mention the endless questions, with mounting impatience. He knew he’d been lucky that it was a low-velocity round that had hit him. He knew he’d been even luckier that it was a non-penetrating wound that hadn’t done any lasting damage to any major organs. He didn’t need to hear the lecture from a medic—he’d seen enough battlefield injuries to know just how fortunate he was.
By the time the doctor was giving instructions for his further care Adam had switched off mentally from what was going on around him and was looking beyond the hospital staff to the entrance to the ICU—waiting for his woman to appear.
Consequently he was only vaguely aware of the doctor’s departure. He’d spotted Beth peering into the unit and as she came toward him relief flooded his heart. Thank God. She was safe. Pale and tired but safe and that was all that mattered.
“You all right, little one?” They’d given him something to drink but it was still an effort to speak.
“I am now.” She smiled but he could see the unusual shine in her eyes. He watched her lift his hand to her cheek, brush her lips across the back of it. “They said I could have a few minutes with you but they want you to rest.”
“As if I have any choice.” He touched the bruise that colored her jaw. “I shouldn’t have let this happen.”
She held his hand to her face as she shook her head. “Don’t, Adam. Don’t blame yourself for something you couldn’t control.”
“I should have made you leave.”
She tilted her head. “Didn’t you hear what I just said? Don’t blame yourself for something you couldn’t control. You couldn’t control Ewan Underwood and do you really think you could have made me go anywhere without you?”
The guilt still made him feel sick though. If it wasn’t for him, she wouldn’t have had to fight for her life. She wouldn’t have known the kind of fear no civilian should ever know nor would she ever have seen the kind of violence a civilian should never have to witness.
“Dan’s coming to pick me up soon,” she continued quietly. “He had a meeting in London this morning, something about ensuring that the right people were made aware of what happened and the appropriate steps are taken to deal with any consequences. What does that mean?”
Adam swallowed. His mind was still fuzzy but he knew what Dan was up to. “It means there’ll be no investigation into Underwood’s untimely demise. I would guess that Dan has enough material to put together a case for self-defense.”
She nodded, taking in what he’d told her. “He also said he’d stay at Winterleigh with me until—until you come home. He was going to take me back to London to his place but I wanted to be here so I could come and see you.
“And,” she added, suddenly unable to look him in the eyes, “we need…we need to talk—but not now.”
What did she want to talk about? he wondered. Statements like that seldom boded well. Had she decided that the experiences of the last couple of weeks were all too much?
All of a sudden, Adam felt an iron band tighten around his heart—was this her way of telling him that she was planning to say goodbye?
* * * * *
Previous painful experience told Adam that he wasn’t going to get out of the hospital anytime soon and although the doctor treating him kept making encouraging noises about his progress, it was only Beth’s daily visits that kept him from going insane with a combination of frustration and boredom.
The cuts and bruises she’d sustained at the hands of Ewan Underwood were healing well. Each day brought a marked improvement. However, what Adam was disturbed to note was the darkening of the shadows that surrounded her beautiful eyes. She clearly wasn’t sleeping well if at all, a fact that she confirmed when he questioned her about it.
“Don’t worry about it, Adam,” she told him, trying to reassure him that it wasn’t important. “It’s just a phase. It’ll pass.”
“Tell me why you aren’t sleeping,” he insisted. By now they’d taken away a lot of the equipment monitoring his condition and were even making noises about moving him out of the ICU in a day or two. He was already having some physiotherapy in situ.
“It’s nothing.”
“So help me Beth, if it weren’t for the fact that it would shock the hell out of the staff, I’d put you over my knee and spank some sense into you!” Adam kept his voice low and tightly controlled. “Just because I’m in here it doesn’t mean you can forget all about the rules!”
Her eyes widened in alarm and then he saw the moment when her defenses came down. She glanced down at her hands, clenched together on her lap. “Nightmares,” she admitted, her voice barely more than a murmur. “I keep—I keep seeing you, that moment just before Dan came in but in my nightmares he’s too late, and—I lose you. Over and over again. Some nights, I’m afraid to go to sleep.”
And Adam knew all about that. He held out his hand and she came to his uninjured side, resting her head against him while he held her as best he could and murmured reassurance. “I’ll be home soon,” he promised. “Just as soon as I can and you’ll never have another nightmare, I swear.”
“It’s not just that, Adam.” She sat up straight again. “Dan told me what happened to you ten years ago—not in detail but enough for me to know.”
Adam felt all the color drain out of his face, as a look of complete horror came over Beth’s face, her hand covering her open mouth when she realized what she’d said.
“Oh God, I never meant—“
“I don’t want your pity, Beth, and if that’s all there is left—“
“Shh.” She touched her finger to his lips to silence him. “Not pity, never that. Love and admiration for a man of incredible strength and courage.” She laid her palm against his cheek, her other hand holding his. For long moments, she simply looked at him. And then all he saw was love and want and need. She leaned closer, her hand on his cheek coaxing his head to the right place for his mouth to receive her kiss, a gentle touching of lips to tell him what he meant to her. “I wish I’d been here for you then. I wasn’t and there’s nothing I can do about that no matter how much I wish it. What I can do something about is the future—I can be here for you for as long as you want me. Please want me.”
His free hand reached up, covered hers and brought it to his mouth so that he could press a kiss to her palm as she had done so many times for him. When he spoke his voice was raw with emotion. This woman—his woman—was nothing short of a miracle. He would never know what he’d done to deserve her but whatever it was, he plann
ed to keep on doing it for the rest of his life.
“You’re here now. That’s all that matters.” He curved his hand around the back of her head, exerting just enough pressure to draw her close enough for a further, longer kiss. “I love you, Beth Harrison. So damn much the thought of losing you kills me. I’ve wanted you since the day I met you and I’ll never stop wanting you. Never.”
* * * * *
Adam was settling back into bed after a frustratingly gentle amble round the physiotherapy department when Dan Chesterfield arrived for his first visit since Adam came out of the ICU. It was also his first visit since Beth had let slip that the other man had told her about what had happened ten years ago. He let his friend make himself comfortable in the visitor’s armchair before speaking.
“Why did you tell her?” Adam knew he didn’t need to elaborate any further.
Dan’s eyes met his. “I’m sorry but I had to, Ad,” he said quietly. “She wouldn’t take no for an answer. You know, you really need to train your sub better.”
Adam took in the tentative wry grin on his old friend’s face. He knew Dan wasn’t happy about having talked to Beth. Adam also knew how much he valued their friendship. “You’ve nothing to apologize for, Dan. You were right, I should have talked to her. She said she wished she’d been there for me. Can you believe that?”
“She’s Beth. I told you—she loves you. She couldn’t be any other way.”
Adam grinned. “Where is she?”
“Right here,” a female voice, as clear as a bell, replied. “Is this a private party or can anyone join in?”
She was standing by the door, that lovely smile on her face, looking better than she had for a good while. Some of the shadows were gone and she’d lost the haunted look he’d seen in her pretty eyes far too often, until just recently.
“Beth!” Dan jumped up to offer her his seat. “Come and sit down.”
“It’s okay, Dan. She’ll sit here.” Adam patted the bed beside him. When Beth perched delicately on the edge he turned toward her, timing it just right to catch the kiss she was aiming at his cheek with his mouth.
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