by Nina Monroe
“We care very little about your opinion,” Rainer spoke out as he stood up from his seat, though he struggled with his weight. “You’re a man entranced by an exotic woman’s quim.”
“I don’t care that you’re my father’s advisor, I will slice you for your disrespect,” Will said as he unsheathed his sword and pointed it in Rainer’s direction. “No one in this room will disrespect my wife, or they will have to deal with me.”
“Princess,” Gregory ignored his son’s outburst, much to the chagrin of Rainer. Tamzin heard Will slide his sword back in it’s place at his hip. “Step forward, Princess Tamzin. I honestly just want to question you.”
“Then you should make your decorum a bit more welcoming,” Tamzin retorted and earned a quiet chuckle from Will. She looked at him and his nod gave her the courage to walk forward. Even Gregory smiled a bit at her comment, but he sat up and reached to his side, where he grabbed his gold crown. He placed the crown on his head before he proceeded.
“Lucy, your handmaiden, was she a Johansson, to your knowledge?” Gregory asked as he placed a hand on his chin.
“She was, Your Highness…”
“She knowingly brought a Johansson into our court!” a voice cried out from the crowd as Will looked into the crowd to see who had interrupted her. He only saw Garrett standing next to Henry Covington as he looked back towards his father.
“You will be silent!” Gregory’s voice boomed before he returned his attention back to Tamzin. “Please continue, Tamzin.”
“Douglas Johansson disinherited her when she was eleven after he found her being inappropriate with a boy. He sent letters to the southern territories, including my father’s, and said he had a daughter whom humiliated him and that would be a slave girl in any other territory. When word had been received what she had done,” Tamzin stopped and took a deep breath, “and what her father had done as her punishment…”
“Which was?” Gregory inquired.
“Lucy was caught committing acts that are only reserved for married couples in the south, and his father forced her to, to… she was raped by a number of his men and her father consented to it,” Tamzin voice shook as she looked down to the ground. “She was in a brutal state when my father agreed to take her. I was the only one kind to her, and I came to view her as a sister. When I first came here, Your Highness, you saw how tense the relationship was between myself and Will,” Tamzin continued as she looked to her husband. “I needed my friend.”
“If we had known that Lucy was a Johansson girl, she never would have been allowed in this territory. This isn’t Roth Territory. I don’t grant asylum to my enemies. Do you realize that your actions nearly killed my son and my heir, your husband?” Gregory asked, while Rainer silently fumed next to him.
“I do, Your Highness, and I am so sorry. My husband was injured, as were his men. I never meant to hurt anyone. I just beg you not to annul my marriage, for my sake and my family’s sake,” Tamzin pleaded as she subconsciously pressed a hand to her stomach. “I take responsibility for this. I swear.”
“One final question, Tamzin, and this will decide if I let you stay in this court. Now that you have had time to adjust in your new marriage, please tell me what you think of my son?” Gregory asked as he look to Will. “Though you’ve only been here for three months, I sometime think that you know him better than I do.”
“I think he is very misunderstood, Your Highness,” Tamzin said as she looked to Will and the soldiers that stood on the other side of him. “To someone who does not know him very well, he certainly comes off as arrogant and not very approachable. However, they don’t see him spending hours a night at his battle strategy table. They don’t know that all he wants is to bring every soldier he brings into battle back home to their families.”
Tamzin’s comments brought a flurry of hushed whispers from the soldiers as she continued. “Many people also don’t know that he thirsts for your approval. Though you fight quite a bit, I know he loves and respects you, Your Highness,” Tamzin continued before she looked back at Will. “He is a very stubborn man, but he is so good. Will can also be quite funny when he wants to be, and very sweet. He protects me, he plays hours of chess with me, and we discuss everything. The truth is that I think he is going to make an amazing King, and there is no man I would want to be Queen for more than him. I care for him more than anything, and I will do anything to protect him. My actions with Lucy were selfish and naïve.”
Gregory watched as Will’s hand snaked out to entwine with hers, though he continued to stand rigidly.
“Those certainly aren’t words that are spoken by a true traitor,” Gregory said as he looked around at his court. “While I do agree that you made an egregious error, Tamzin, you did so without a malicious intent. Do not think that I haven’t been briefed on what happened today. Your relationship with a bodyguard of your father and a well-placed rock is the only reason why my son is alive, as well as his men. I am not interested in pursuing any charges against you, mostly because I need your father’s men. This matter is over, as far as I am concerned,” Gregory said as he stood from his throne. “William,” Gregory called out. “I expect you to punish her in a fashion you see fit, and in the morning, you and I will begin our strategy for destroying the Johansson vermin. In a week’s time, we ride out.”
Tamzin’s elation was extremely short lived with that announcement. Will nodded to his father as her grip tightened around his hand. Quickly, he pulled Tamzin into his arms, where he strewn her face with kisses.
With her arms wrapped around his neck, and her breath on his ear, Tamzin asked, “So what now?”
Will had no idea how to answer.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
“Are you going to beat me?” Tamzin asked as she and Will sat in their private library on the third floor. She sat, feet crossed, on the bear skin rug in front of the fire as Will stared at the books stacked on the nightstand near the leather seat.
“I’m not a barbarian; I don’t beat women,” he responded as he approached her and stood next to her in front of the fire. “I defended you out there, but do not believe for a second that you did not embarrass me. I couldn’t even tell that the woman I’m sharing a bed with was lying to me.”
“I’m sorry,” Tamzin said as she began to gnaw at her lip in frustration and worry. “Your father says you have to punish me.”
“You’re not a child. I’m not going to punish you,” Will said with a slight eye roll before he sat down on the couch behind her. “Do not confuse my anger for what it isn’t. I am angry that you lied to me, not because another man touched you. It is out of your control that he touched you and I would never, ever blame you for it,” Will said as his hand reached out and touched her hair. Despite the fire, all he could smell was her lavender scent. “Stay in our chambers, but I need my distance from you…”
Tamzin’s breath hitched and the pain unfolded in her chest, right over her heart.
“I have to plan with my father and Garrett. I have to regain the trust of my men. I have many things to do and I can’t do them with you nearby,” Will said with the metallic taste in his mouth. He chewed on the inside of his cheek and drew blood to keep himself from not saying the words. “You know how I feel about you, but I am so angry.”
“I’m sorry,” she apologized again, this time her voice cracked.
“You keep saying that, but I don’t think you know what it means. You say to me that I don’t know what real love feels like. I don’t think you know what it means to truly be sorry for something. What you’ve done could have destroyed my territory, destroyed my family, or worst. You’re relieved of your duties for the week, Princess.” Will stood up quickly with his hands clenched on his side. He felt his stance begin to break when he saw the silent tears on her cheeks, but Will couldn’t forgive her now.
His long strides led him out of their library and down the hallway to their bedroom, where he took the staircase downstairs to his old chambers. His bedroom was freezi
ng from the lack of fire as he crawled into the furs on his bed. It was the coldest night of his life, but it was a night he would not forget. Will imagined it was worse for Tamzin. It was always worse.
A part of her felt like she was a grounded small child. Tamzin awoke alone, still on the floor of the library after she cried herself to sleep. Will had been right, to a degree. Her father never punished her for anything; she had him wrapped around her finger, but Will was different. Tamzin was truly sorry for what had happened, but the forced separation was making her hurt more. This was a punishment worse than a beating. The imaginary scrapes hurt more than the ones on her knees from Duke forcing her to the ground.
With a hand on the couch, Tamzin made herself stand up. She pushed her hair out of her face and ran a hand through her roots to push her hair back. Her lips felt scaly from breathing through her mouth because of her stuffed up nose. Her eyelashes felt clumped together from sleep and her skin felt dry. Today was not a day that she would feel beautiful.
The hallway was empty of all soldiers as Tamzin walked back to her chambers. The chambers were empty and no one had slept in the bed, like Will had promised. The drapes around the windows were open and the sun shone through brightly. Tamzin walked towards the glass and pressed her hands against them as she looked out them. Will was in the courtyard with a large amount of men, along with Garrett and the King. Despite his injury, Will carried on with preparations to leave for war. It only made her ache more with their separation.
Will moved so seamlessly that it appeared that he was without a broken rib. He wore his leather jerkin and breeches, which Tamzin recognized were the ones she wore during her short time learning to fight, and when he disarmed Garrett, he smiled brightly. There were very few things that made Will smile like that, and Tamzin felt herself smile as she watched him.
That was when it hit her.
Her fingers curled against the glass, her nails left sharp lines down the window as she bit her lip. She was in love with him. A part of her realized it yesterday when Tamzin was positive that he was going to be killed. She tried to imagine her life without him and she couldn’t. Will Thurston had grown on her and she feared it would be the worst loss of her life if he were to leave and never return. Everything reminded her of him a little bit.
Last night, before she fell asleep, she sat on the window seat and stared at the stars in the dark sky. The little stars twinkled like Will’s eyes did when he laughed. When the sun was setting and the sky was that perfect shade of purple, pink, and orange, which reminded Tamzin of how red his cheeks became when she teased him early in their marriage. Will was like the cold and the snow; so unforgiving to those who didn’t understand the terrain, but the snow could be so beautiful and the cold could feel like silk on your cheek. Will was everything; he was the sky and the ground and the cold and the snow. He was the house that shielded her from the coldness of others; the warmth of the fire was the kisses he peppered across her skin in the morning when he thought she was still asleep. And finally, he was the feeling of home and comfort when he told her how much he loved her. Maybe Tamzin had been the naïve one about love.
This wasn’t a love that kept her bound and helpless. Tamzin felt a smile form on her face as she ran to her armoire and pulled out one of her beautiful dresses from home. She sat down at her vanity and pulled her hair up into a braid across the front and a side ponytail that rested on her shoulder. She brushed lotion across her dry skin and berry juice to redden her lips. Her eyes began to brighten again as she wove her crown into her braid.
The dress was green and silk with long sleeves and a full skirt. It was certainly not Northern but despite her marriage, Tamzin would always be a Roth at heart. She was thankful the ties were along the side of the bodice, instead of the back, and Tamzin stared at herself in the mirror. She looked like a real Queen then, worthy of the love Will gave her, just as he would be worthy of the love she felt.
With her boots slid on, Tamzin wanted to run to the door but a force stopped her.
Tamzin was in the North. Will had feared that he lost the respect of his men and his father, so her running out to declare her love for him in front of them all would embarrass him further. With a returned frown, Tamzin sat on their bed and fisted the furs in her hand. Had he known that she was so close to realizing her love for him? If Will was, then this was the worst punishment he could have doled out to her.
~~~
Kendall joined Tamzin for her third day of seclusion. Will hadn’t spoken a word to her in three days, nor had he sought her out in any way. The women sewed together, but spoke very little. Tamzin wondered how Garrett had taken to Kendall also knowing that Lucy was a Johansson, but from the new pendant around her neck, Garrett must not have taken it too harshly.
“Have you spoken to Will at all?” Kendall asked as she nipped the fabric with her tooth. “Is he very angry?”
“He says that he doesn’t want to see me until this has blown over. I know that it is my fault that we are going to war,” Tamzin said solemnly as she considered sewing the shirt that was destroyed in the altercation with Duke and Will.
“Lucy did this…”
“No, I did this. I brought Lucy here and I tried to protect her when I knew she was betraying me. She wasn’t giving me fertility potions and who knows how many pregnancies she made me shed and I still never confronted her. I can say all I want that Lucy did this, but the blood is on my hands,” Tamzin said with hard eyes as she dropped her needle in her lap. “I love him and now I fear he will never forgive you.”
“He will forgive you because he loves you,” Kendall tried to comfort but it was useless. Tonight, Tamzin would still sleep in an empty bed and she would wonder where Will was sleeping that night. “Lucy did what she did because she is who she is. This may have been something that was unavoidable…”
“She did this because I let it happen. End of story,” Tamzin said as she reached out and fingered the cup of tea on the stand next to her. “I just hope he returns to me sooner than later,” Tamzin said with a smile filled with sadness. “Thank you for sitting with me.”
“I am a girl loyal to my lady,” Kendall grinned as she thumbed the tunic she finished sewing. “Garrett has been acting odd around me.”
“How so?” Tamzin asked as she looked up from her cup.
“I don’t know, exactly. Just different, I suppose. He is more interested in taking care of me. He is doing small things to make life a little easier,” Kendall said with a shrug of her shoulders. She smiled meekly as she touched the pendant around her neck. “He makes me feel so content.”
“Have you laid with him yet?” Tamzin asked as she remembered the feeling of contentment after she laid with Will for the first time.
“No, but I let him touch me and sometimes, I touch him,” Kendall nearly shrieked as she flushed bright red. “Gods, why do men tell us not to experience those feelings! They are amazing!”
Tamzin laughed as she absentmindedly ran her nails over the fabric of her chair.
“Is Will loving towards you? It’s hard for me to imagine him as a tender lover,” Kendall asked as she continued to thumb her pendant. “Garrett is just so experienced. He does anything and I melt.”
“Will isn’t this cold and unfeeling creature everyone makes him out to be. I love to lie with him, as I should. It was never a duty for us to be together.” Tamzin shivered and crossed her legs tighter. “He will come back, won’t he?”
“Yes. I am willing to risk my own life on that answer.”
Kendall left her not long after to meet Garrett. Tamzin changed into her shift and robe when she felt her stomach gurgle. It was later in the night, long after dinner had been served in the Great Hall, and the townspeople had gone to sleep. Tamzin stayed up to write letters to her parents and a letter to her father to urge him to repair relations between him and Gregory Thurston.
She wrapped her robe tighter around her body and slid on her boots over her feet and crept slowly down the stairs.
As she opened the wall door, she noted that Will’s room was dark, except the fire. She glanced at his bed and found it to be empty, including the chair in front of the fire. The room was completely empty.