by Nina Monroe
“This is war, Tamzin. Many men will leave and not many will come back,” Kendall cried softly before she roughly wiped her tears away. “I am a Roth woman. I am not weak.”
“No, we are not, but there is no shame in crying. There is no shame in worrying for the man you love,” Tamzin frowned before she left Kendall to sit in front of her vanity. She swept her comb through her tangled waves. She winced lightly as she combed out a particularly nasty snarl when Tamzin felt Kendall take the comb from her hair.
“I have been an awful lady in waiting,” Kendall said as she swept Tamzin’s hair back before she reached for the jewel and pearl hair crown. Deftly, Kendall separated parts of Tamzin’s hair and braided the tiny portions as she interweaved the hair crown. “I am right up there with Lucy.”
“You didn’t betray me to the enemy. You’re not remotely close to being an awful lady in waiting,” Tamzin said as she closed her eyes. Tamzin’s skin became accustomed to the cold, as her hair appeared darker against her pale complexion. She bit her lip without thought and watched as her lips deepened to a dark red. As she closed her eyes, Tamzin felt Kendall wipe a cool lotion across her nose and under her eyes in order to cover the redness from her crying and sleep depravation.
“Are you frightened?” Kendall asked as she blended the lotion into Tamzin’s skin. “If Will doesn’t come back?”
“He will,” Tamzin opened her eyes and watched as Kendall opened up the armoire and pulled out her black dress. Tamzin pulled Will’s robe off her body as Kendall handed her chemise. She slid the light fabric over her naked body quickly, afraid that Kendall would notice what Will didn’t. Women knew things and Tamzin worried Kendall would see the slight bulge in her stomach. Though she trusted her best friend and lady more than anything, Will deserved to be the first person to know.
Tamzin stepped into the dress on the floor and pushed her arms through the sleeves as Kendall brought the fabric up to her chest. Tamzin loved that the North never wore corsets. Though she missed her pretty dresses, Tamzin did not miss the whalebone that pressed uncomfortably into her skin. Will did provide her with beautiful dresses to wear for when they had their political guests, but her every day dresses were merely for warmth and function. The dress she put on was one of her beautiful ones; she wanted him to remember her as beautiful and happy.
Tamzin took a deep breath as Kendall tied the laces behind her. This was the closest the North had to a corset, but it was mostly to keep the dress together. Tamzin looked down at the empire waist of the dress and smiled as it hid her bump well. Silently, she closed her eyes and prayed. She prayed for her baby, her husband and his victory, and that Will could finally find a peace with his father. She prayed for the death of her enemies and though it disgusted her slightly, she prayed for the suffering of Lucy and Duke to be specific.
Tamzin opened her eyes when she heard her heels crash on the floor next to her. Tamzin noted that it was a pair of shoes she would have wore at home, instead of her exclusive boots that she wore in the North. As she slipped on the shoes, Tamzin remembered that she wasn’t just a Thurston woman now. Though their families were at peace, Tamzin sometimes wondered if she had to change herself completely into a Thurston Princess and future Queen. As she touched her stomach lightly, Tamzin swore that her baby would know that he or she was from the two most nobles houses and though they may have the Thurston last name, this child would be just as much a Roth as a Thurston.
“We should go,” Tamzin said as she reached for her cloak. She tied it loosely around her shoulders, so Will might still be able to see her dress. Kendall nodded and tightened her own cloak as Tamzin opened up the door. Tamzin could already hear the sounds and bustle of the servants running about as well as the sounds of the townspeople giving their goodbyes. The clicks of her heels on the stone kept Tamzin calm as she stepped through the opening of the wall.
As Tamzin took a step forward, she felt Kendall grab her hand. Tamzin squeezed her hand for support as they came into the main corridor. Despite how loud everything was, there weren’t too many people in the corridor as they waited down the stairs and in front of the main entryway. The servants didn’t stop when they noticed her and Tamzin didn’t expect them to; on a day like this, there was no royalty and common people. Everyone had the potential to lose something.
Her parents had always told her how important it was to spend time with the people you rule over, which was why she wore dresses exclusively designed by the town seamstress; she used her allowance to buy the orphan children clothes and food, along with imploring the King to buy crops from his own people. But this may have been the first time Tamzin felt completely at the same level as the townspeople; like them, she could lose her husband just as quickly as any of the other women. She found it extremely admirable that Will trained his own soldiers and fought along side them, ate the same food as them, and his tent was only larger to accommodate the battle strategy table. Douglas Johansson didn’t even join the men at the battle site to watch or to plan. As his men died, Johansson ate his steak while his people starved and taxed them to death in order to live a life of luxury but didn’t fix the rotting walls around his kingdom.
Tamzin pushed away her angry thoughts about Johansson’s mistreatment of his people when she walked outside of the castle, her hand still linked with Kendall. Kendall let go of her hand as she ran down the steps and threw herself into Garrett’s arms. Garrett stood next to Will, who had his back turned to her. He was addressing a fellow soldier sternly and Tamzin could see why his enemies feared him. In his armor, he looked so much bigger and broader, but he moved swiftly and gracefully. It looked like his heavy armor weighed less than a feather as his sharp sword hung on his hip. The soldier he was speaking to nodded to Tamzin as Will turned around.
The ground was covered with fresh snowfall and Tamzin could hear it crunching beneath his boots as he approached her. Will took her hand in his and she could feel his warm breath coming out in puffs on her face. She lifted her lashes to look him in the eye, his blue eyes the color of ice. He was a true Northern Prince, with his tough skin, calloused hands, and wild dark hair.
Tamzin shivered lightly as he pulled her into a hug and her body touched his freezing armor. Around his shoulders was his large fur cape that made his shoulders seem broader. It was what he wore on their wedding day and Tamzin felt a small smile frame her face as she remembered that day. It hadn’t been perfect but she never regretted marrying Will.
“You look lovely in that dress, my sweet,” Will pressed a kiss to the shell of her ear, his beard was rough against her cheek. “The only better memory would be stripping you out of it.”
Tamzin laughed as she brushed the curls from his face; his smile reminded her how young he truly was. She ran her thumb over his forehead and over his worry lines. As she placed both her hands on his cheeks, she felt him place his hands on her hips. With an intense sadness, Tamzin leaned in and pressed her lips gently to his. Will gripped her hips almost painfully as he pulled her closer to him. His tongue traced her lips before he pushed through her lips with his tongue. A part of her was embarrassed by their blatant public display of affection, but she also never wanted him to part from her. Her heart ached as she pulled away and tried to stop the tears from flooding her eyes.
“No tears, my love. You won’t have enough time to miss me before I come back. We will just humiliate Johansson once on the battlefield and with any luck; my Uncle will be part of the army. If I kill him and kill Johansson’s illegitimate son that leads the army and then we will come home. Just please don’t burn the kingdom to the ground,” he joked as she slapped his arm over his armor, but she hurt herself more than she hurt him.
“Excuse you, but you know I will solve all the problems and this kingdom will be in tip-top shape when you come home,” Tamzin said before she locked her arms around him again. “Be careful. Don’t be a hero. I would rather have a living husband than a hero.”
“The same goes for you, love,” Will said as h
e placed his hand on his hip and pulled out a beautiful dagger. It was a thin blade, but the tip was unbelievably sharp. It was light and easily concealed, but a dangerous weapon. “Always use your instincts. You may not be a trained soldier, but that doesn’t mean you cannot protect yourself. There are only a few soldiers left behind and only because they are injured. If anything happens, you do what is necessary to escape,” Will said as he pressed the handle into her hand. Tamzin was surprised by how weightless it was in her hand. “Sometimes, it’s better to disarm than to kill. A quick stab in between the ribs can slow them down.”
“I don’t think I could kill anyone,” Tamzin frowned at the dagger before she watched Will take it from her hand and place it in the inner pocket of her cloak. “I’d probably accidentally stab myself.”
“I don’t view you as just as a girl,” Will said abruptly as he watched his men line up. “You are strong and you are smart. I saw it when you decided to still marry me after my father had given you a way out. Look at me,” Will said as he lifted her chin lightly as she looked into his blue eyes. “Never, ever doubt yourself. If it hadn’t been for you, I would be dead from our attack in the forest. If you have a feeling, never discount it. I never discount your word, my wise wife.”
“I love you so much,” Tamzin said as she kissed him softly again and stopped her tears from falling.
“I love you more.”
Will felt a hand ghost his shoulder as he turned to see his father standing behind him. Gregory wore similar armor to Will, but it wasn’t as large or imposing. Gregory needed protection, but not nearly as much as Will when in battle.
“It’s time to go, son,” Gregory said as he nodded to Tamzin. Tamzin didn’t wait as she threw her arms over Gregory; while he wasn’t her father, he had always been kind to her and despite the tense relationship between Will and his father, Tamzin knew Will needed Gregory. She felt Gregory, almost awkwardly, accept her embrace, and she imagined he hadn’t been hugged in a good number of years.
“I wish you safe travels, Your Highness,” Tamzin said as she brushed away a stray tear from her eye. “And I will pray nightly for your army’s safe return.”
Gregory nodded before Garrett pulled himself away from Kendall. Though she was not close to Garrett, Tamzin respected and admired his loyalty to Will. They bowed to each other when her eyes caught Will mounting Angus. Angus had his own armor on and the whole situation made Tamzin feel sick. With a final nod and a sad smile, Tamzin watched Will and his father lead the countless thousands of men out of the city walls.
She felt the bile rise up in her throat as the last man left the gate and Rainer placed his fat and sweaty hand on her shoulder.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
The first night Tamzin spent alone was a cold one. She hadn’t grown used to the Northern cold, but it was so much worst than before, even before she and Will began to share a bed. Rupes had stopped sleeping with her months ago; he found love with the chef and his boy, but Tamzin hadn’t cared. The boy loved the pup and she couldn’t imagine taking Rupes away because Tamzin couldn’t sleep alone anymore. Though it was warmer to keep the drapes around the bed closed, Tamzin lied on her side and watched the fire burning in the fireplace and tried to imagine Will standing there. He always stared into the flames, like they had the answer to his problems. Without a thought, Tamzin touched her belly and smiled softly before she closed her eyes.
On her first morning, Tamzin couldn’t believe just how empty the territory was without the soldiers. She knew that there were more soldiers than just civilians, but it was obvious when Tamzin walked outside in the marketplace. She wore a wool lilac dress and her fur lined cape as she browsed the trinkets and jewelry made by an older woman. The woman kept her cloak wrapped tight around her body, but Tamzin could see that she shook from coldness and sadness.
“Do you see anything you like, Your Highness?” the woman asked as she watched Tamzin finger a gold chain before she looked at the woman.
“I’m sorry, milady,” Tamzin began as she reached in her cloak for her lined gloves. “I’m not myself this morning.”
“You must be worried,” the woman said as she pulled the gold chain out of its holder. “It’s the first time your husband has gone off to war. He does it often, as do my husband and sons. But they’ve always come home.”
“I shall pray that they come home this time,” Tamzin said as she gave her a closed toothed grin. “The territory is so empty. It’s very eerie.”
“The townspeople are always nervous during times like these, but at least you are here and the hand as well. You will grow used to it, Your Highness,” the woman said as she held up the chain. “Shall I prepare an invoice for the Prince?”
“Yes, please,” Tamzin nodded as she took the chain from the woman’s outreached hand. “Thank you for your kindness.”
The air was freezing and her warm breath came out in tiny puffs as she walked back to the castle. It felt like it did right before a huge rain storm came over her own kingdom; it was too quiet and the air felt thick. If it were in Roth Territory, it would be humidity, but here…Tamzin couldn’t shake the feeling she had in the bottom of her stomach. It sat there like a heavy stone in a rushing rapid; nothing could move it despite the frantic surroundings.
Dinner was a quiet affair, with the noble still attending Court like nothing had changed. Tamzin still wore her wool dress as she sat at a smaller table, flanked by Kendall, Rainer, and a few other officials that Tamzin didn’t know well. They worked exclusively with Will and stared at her still like she was a traitor. What had happened with Lucy was still on the minds of the nobles and townspeople, but it wasn’t the most important matter anymore.
Tamzin picked at her food when she felt a pair of eyes watching her. She turned to see Rainer next to her, an arrogant grin on his face. Rainer was an older man, possibly around Gregory’s age, but he looked significantly older. His gray hair was parted on the side and a mustache above his upper lip framed his plump face. It was bushy and unkempt and it looked like he couldn’t open his eyes fully from his weight.
“Are you not hungry, Princess?” He asked as his beady eyes traced her curves beneath her dress.
“I’m afraid not, Lord Rainer,” Tamzin responded politely as she gently placed her fork on her plate. “I suppose I am anxious.”
“What about, if I may inquire?” Rainer asked. Tamzin fought the urge to roll her eyes. Wasn’t it obvious?
“My husband is off fighting a war. Is that not reason enough?” She asked with irritation as she crossed her leg beneath the table, as to not lean forward and kick him off his chair.
“I hardly noticed,” Rainer responded, but Tamzin couldn’t gauge if he were sarcastic or not. “This territory can be quite exciting without the Prince around.”
“If you’re going to speak ill or my husband or my king, then I will take my leave, Lord Rainer,” Tamzin eyed him angrily as she stood up abruptly from her chair. It wasn’t just Will being gone that irritated her; her stomach had been in a constant state of upset since her little boy or girl decided to grow in her belly.
“You do know what your husband is doing, don’t you?” Rainer asked as he ran a finger down his dinner knife. “He is building an empire. Well, Gregory is, but Will is just following him as keenly.”
“And why is this so fascinating?” Tamzin asked condescendingly as she placed a hand on her hip.
“Empires are built on the backs of people. Just how will your back be useful?” He asked with a raise eyebrow before he laughed quietly to himself. “Run off, little princess.”
“You forget yourself,” Tamzin said as she leaned down to be eye level with him. “Gregory may trust you, but I don’t.”
“I believe I said to run along,” Rainer warned as he gripped the dinner knife in his hand and had it stand up, blade in the air. “William isn’t here and everyone here thinks you’re a traitor. Just how powerful do you think you are?”
That should have been a warning.
>
Tamzin wished she could say it happened before her eyes and she did everything to stop it. She wished more that it never happened, but it did. In the dead of night, three nights after Will left with his troops, Duke, Lucy, and about one hundred men stormed the castle. It happened quietly enough, with no one manning the walls to see them coming. She awoke to a blade pressed into her throat and a pair of angry brown eyes staring into hers. This must have been the Johansson Bastard.