“Ooh!” Keelie waves her hand my way. “Ask for a platter of tacos from the Spicy Tortilla. I’ve been dying for some decent Mexican food. I’ll even give you one for the effort.”
I make a face. “I’ll make sure they find their way to you. Right after I text Bear to pick them up. And who knows? Taco time might just lead to sexy time. You’re welcome.”
Lainey swallows down a bite of cobbler. “You’d better text Forest, too. And then expect a call from me any day now. They say sexy time leads to baby time, and I’m not talking about how we got into this condition in the first place.”
Meg strides in through the shared walkway that leads into the Honey Pot and stalks on over.
“Well, if it isn’t three human incubators.”
“Meg,” I hiss. “You know I’m not incubating anything but anger toward Carlotta for starting this rumor.”
Meg barks out a laugh. “Enjoy the ride on the baby buggy express while you’ve got it. I hear both your boyfriend and your husband are bending over backward for you.”
Lainey snorts. “Carlotta says you’re getting breakfast in bed with two men.”
Keelie tosses down her fork. “Oh, for Pete’s sake, Lottie, get knocked up already. What in the world is better than breakfast in bed with two men?”
Lainey moans. “Think about it, Lottie. You’ve got a built-in pinch hitter. If I were you, I wouldn’t be so quick to toss Noah to the curb.”
A bubbly laugh expels from behind and I turn to find Cormack Featherby standing there, in her blonde irritating eminence with a cup of coffee in hand.
“You might be surprised to find out just who she tosses to the curb.” Cormack gives a little wink my way.
I suck in a quick breath and stand. “What is that supposed to mean? You know Everett’s big secret, don’t you?”
“Don’t worry, Laredo. All will be brought into the light soon enough.” She wiggles her fingers my way in lieu of a wave before heading over and taking a seat at the counter.
Keelie pulls me in by the arm. “What secret is she talking about?”
“I don’t know. But when Everett is ready I’m sure he’ll tell me.”
Lainey gasps. “Everett is the one with a secret? This must be serious.”
Meg growls, “I don’t like secrets, Lot.”
“I’m not worried about it. In fact, the only thing I want to think about is finding whoever killed Dane Gannon. I haven’t even begun the investigation, unless you count the fact I had dinner with Ridge Porter.”
“Ridge Porter!” Keelie, Lainey, and Meg all sing like a choir.
“Relax.” I pat my hand through the air, telling them to keep it down. “You can all meet him. He’s filming an episode of Unsolved Mysteries Tonight at the B&B soon.”
A round of spontaneous applause breaks out among them.
Lainey nods over to me. “Who are the suspects for Dane’s murder? I’ve got nothing better to do. I can help with research if you want.”
“Me too,” Keelie volunteers her services while shoveling in another bite of cobbler.
“Let’s see. There’s Kent Noble, the guy who was helping Dane out of a pickle. I asked Ridge about it and he said it had something to do with a movie deal he wanted to back out of. Then there’s Jade Archibald, the angry ex. And there’s a woman by the name of Sammy Brewer.” I snap my fingers over at Meg and her eyes light up. “Ridge said she’s a dancer at Red Satin.”
Meg gives a dark laugh. “She works there, but she’s not one of the dancers. She works down in the Jungle Room. In fact, she’s on tonight.”
“Ooh.” I wiggle my fingers. “Sounds like I’m about to have one interesting night.”
“Not without me.” Keelie tosses down her fork like a threat.
“Or me.” Lainey warms her distended belly with her hands.
I glance over at Meg and she offers an indifferent shrug.
“I’ll make sure they have a steady supply of nachos while you work the Jungle Room,” she offers.
“Sounds like a plan.” I frown over at Keelie and Lainey looking like they’re ready to pop. “Tonight’s the night.”
Sammy Brewer, I’m meeting you in the Jungle Room.
Chapter 9
Red Satin Gentlemen’s Club is located in the sweatiest, stinkiest orifice of a town that sits just below Honey Hollow, a scallywag of a place called Leeds.
Evie is at the movies tonight, and then later she’ll be having a sleepover at Everett’s place, so I don’t have to worry about her following me down there. In an odd turn of events, back when we were still looking for Evie, a mobster named Luke Lazzari brought Evie here in an effort to turn her over to us. The reason he chose this nefarious locale is because it just so happens to be owned by his mob rival, the Canneli family. And since Jimmy Canneli was out looking for Evie, too, it was sort of an in-your-face move.
But thankfully, I don’t see a single Canneli or Lazzari at the moment. Instead, Red Satin is saturated with men of every age and tax bracket, shape, and size, ogling the scantily clad women on stage. The place is drenched in one hue and one hue only. From the stage and the carpet to the Naugahyde chairs and booths, everything screams a sultry shade of red.
The music is thumping, the girls are jumping, or bouncing as it were, and the men are tossing dollar bills in the air as if it were a tickertape parade. I’ve already collected sixteen dollars walking through the place and Keelie snapped up two twenties.
No sooner do we arrive than Meg skips her way over. As much as I love having her work next door at the Honey Pot Diner, for some reason, she seems most at home right here at this horny thorny establishment. She’s never shaken what her mama gave her up on that stage, but since she’s the dance instructor—and perhaps stunt coordinator—she’s just as responsible as those scantily clad women for their naughty moneymaking moves.
Both Lainey and Keelie waddle their way in her direction with their blooming bellies leading the charge like a couple of food-seeking missiles.
“Lookie here, boys,” Meg howls, garnering the attention of a smattering of men. “The eight o’clock lineup has arrived.”
I can’t help but roll my eyes, but the men let out a riotous hoop as if a maternity-based strip tease wasn’t a bad idea.
Meg and I help settle Lainey and Keelie near the back, just a few steps from the women’s restroom should nature call—and it will in precisely eight-minute intervals.
“We made thirteen roadside stops on the way over.” A sarcastic grin freezes over my face. “And as luck, and quickly filling bladders would have it, both Keelie and Lainey are about five minutes off schedule from one another. Oh, the joys of public restrooms. I think we just experienced them all.”
Keelie nods. “Interestingly enough, we shared tips and tricks on how to be more expedient in the effort. For instance, Lainey shared she no longer takes off her undies to do the urinary deed. She simply pulls them to the side.”
The smile melts right off of Meg’s face.
Lainey nods. “And Keelie shared an equally stunning yet interesting nugget. She simply straddles the toilet while standing because it’s easier than getting up and down.” Lainey high-fives Keelie. “Amen, sister, amen.”
“Oh, the thrills of pregnancy,” I tease as I look to Meg. “Did you know they’ve both got a case of leaky boobs?”
Lainey nods frantically. “I can beam Forest in the side of the head from a three-foot distance some mornings. My mama milk just comes squirting right out.”
Keelie snorts before straightening in her seat. “I think I just tinkled.” She waves it off. “Oh, who the heck cares. Meg, bring on the nachos.”
Lainey snaps her fingers. “And keep ’em coming. We’re not here to watch a bunch of naked and nimble women glide down a greased pole, you know.”
“All right, all right.” Meg makes a face at the two of them. “Keep your udders in your shirts. Let me figure out what to do with this one”—she nods my way—“and then I’ll make sure you each get an extra helping
of nacho cheese sauce.”
The two of them hum with delight at the prospect of drowning in processed dairy. I’m with them on that one. Nachos made with regular shredded cheese are fine, but it’s the ooey gooey orange stuff that I could drink by the gallon. In fact, I’m half-moved to join them, but Dane Gannon’s investigation is in the bounds. I need to talk to Sammy and see why she smacked him that night.
Meg starts to pull me along, but I pause to lean toward my very pregnant older sister, and bestie.
“Don’t do anything that will make me regret bringing you along for the ride,” I say it sternly like a warning and the two of them break out into cackles.
“Oh, Lot,” Keelie says while trying to get comfortable in her seat. “Outside of stuffing my face with nachos, the only thing I wanna do is give birth.”
Lainey grunts in agreement. “Me too. I’m not entirely opposed to giving birth right here on the table. It would serve these men right to see the result of their naughty intentions.”
Meg shakes her head. “I don’t know, Lainey. We’ve had a few baby bumps on stage and the men seemed to give a little extra. The dancing mamas like to call their routine the college fund.”
“Hold off on any bright ideas,” I tell them. “I’ll host a bake sale when the scholastic time is right.”
Meg and I take off down a darkened corridor that leads to an entire network of secret passageways. The gentlemen’s club has always been a front for far seedier dealings in the back and in the downstairs level as well. We’re talking casino, a dicey finance department, the Canneli mob headquarters, and an especially carnal club that I just so happened to be heading toward.
“Speaking of college.” Meg turns my way and her face is lost in the shadows. All that remains is the whites of her eyes. “You have Evie to think about in just three years. But then, you’re probably not worried. Her daddy is loaded.”
“That he is. And her grandmother could bail the country out of the trillion dollar debt.”
Meg rumbles out a laugh. “And let’s not forget her real mother, and I’m not talking about Cressida Bentley. You’re loaded, too, Lot. And speaking of which, why haven’t you bought that rental house from your landlord yet?”
“It’s not for sale.”
“Everything has a price tag, Lot. Even people.” She gives a hearty wink, and I’m not certain what she means, but I give a nervous laugh as we come out on the other side of the Red Satin rabbit hole.
It’s time to sink or swim, Sammy.
Here’s hoping I can get the truth out of her.
Chapter 10
Meg and I cruise through the underbelly of Red Satin as she leads the way through the illegal casino, then down a stairwell wallpapered in a red harlequin pattern to a lower level where the air is a smidge cooler and the thick scent of cinnamon and something masculine mingled with it hovers in the air. The walls look as if they were carved out of a single rock, giving it the appeal of a cave, and there are plants growing out of pots built into the rocky crags all around me. It truly feels as if we’ve just set foot into an exotic jungle. Moody music buzzes overhead and the lights are so dim, the only thing leading our path is a series of out of control pink and purple spotlights. The floor seems to have some sort of blue cast to it, and that helps navigate my feet from tripping.
A spray of bright red stars glimmers before me, and in no time flat the ghost of Collette Jenner appears in all her crimson glory.
“It’s about time you got here, Lot! Oh, I just love this place.” She skips around, spinning and laughing.
“I figured you would,” I whisper her way. “Any luck with you know who?”
“Kent?” Her expression grows sour. “I couldn’t get near him or his shower. But never mind that. Can we go into the passion room? Can we? Oh, the memories I made there.”
It’s true. The Jungle Room was Collette Jenner’s old stomping grounds. The rooms themselves are themed in every shade of carnality a deprived mind could ask for. You simply tell the staff your favorite fantasy flavor and you’re all set to have the lustiest time of your life.
“The passion room?” I ask, looking right at her, and Meg barks out a laugh.
“I keep forgetting you’re a regular here, Lot. Speaking of regulars, you might want to turn around.”
I spin on my heels and my eyes bulge with surprise as I see two lethally handsome men with equally disappointed expressions on their faces.
“Lot? Are you insane?” Noah is the first to verbalize his disapproval.
Everett steps forward, and I think about three different women gasped from behind.
“Lemon,” he says my name harsh like a reprimand, and those same women scream with ecstasy. “You’re carrying our child.” Gasps of horror ensue, then it’s right back to dreamy sighs from the peanut gallery. “This is hardly a safe or a wholesome venue.” His voice softens as he picks up my hand and kisses that sparkler he landed on my finger.
“How did you know to find me here?” I turn to the spook in our midst. “Collette? Did you have anything to do with this?”
Meg scoffs. “I don’t know who Collette is, but remember me telling you that even people have a price tag? Well, you’re one of them. Or perhaps I should say I am.” She snaps her fingers in front of Noah. “Pay the piper, Fox man. I’ve got two hungry, pregnant women waiting on nachos, and if I stall much longer, it ain’t gonna be pretty.”
Noah lands a twenty dollar bill in her palm and Everett doubles down and gives her forty.
“What?” I squawk. “I can’t believe the two of you are paying people to rat me out.”
Noah’s dimples dig in. “Just Meg.”
Everett nods. “She’s our voice of reason in Leeds. Believe me, Lemon, many people would pay to have a voice of reason in Leeds.”
“Fair enough,” I say as Meg takes off. I take up the hands of the two handsome devils who bribed their way into my presence. “Before you get all hot and bothered with me, Collette is here.”
Collette lets out a ghostly moan. “And, boy, did I ever get hot and bothered.”
Everett rocks back on his heels. “Some things never change.”
Noah looks my way. “Hear that, Lot? He’s reliving a steamy memory that doesn’t involve you in it. If you stick with this guy, you’re setting yourself up with a lifetime of ghosts of girlfriends past. And God only knows how many more kids are going to walk out of the woodwork.”
Everett steps in front of me, effectively blocking my view of Noah.
“Hear that, Lemon? He just called your womb woodwork.” He lands a kiss to my lips. “Let’s get into one of these carnal caves and do what we’re best at.” His mouth moves over mine and my entire body responds. Oh dear God, this man really knows how to send me places.
A hard moan comes from me. “I think we need to stay on track.” I clear my throat as I give a quick glance to Noah. “I’m here to speak with Sammy Brewer.”
Collette gasps and claps. “Good old Sammy. She’s right over there.” She points a ghostly finger and it lights the way like a flashlight.
“Collette.” My mouth falls open. “You know Sammy?”
“Sure do. Just met her ten minutes ago. She must have gotten the gig after I took off for paradise. She’s the one in a hot pink wig and long metallic lashes. I heard her say the rooms were filling up fast tonight, so the three of you better scoot on up there before all the good ones are taken.”
I twist my lips at both Everett and Noah. Collette is right. We’ll need a room for three.
Sure enough, there’s a woman in a pink wig, long metallic eyelashes—and if my memory serves me correctly, the pink hair, silver lashes, and the frilly pink skirt, it’s all reminiscent of the last few women who I’ve run into in this den of depravity. That Halloween getup must be the dress code for this place. But to Sammy’s credit, she’s not completely topless as the others were. A pair of silver stars sit strategically placed over her chest—small diminutive stars that leave absolutely zero to the i
magination but still, I appreciate the effort.
“Room for three?” she purrs as she runs her eyes up and down Everett.
“Yes,” Noah says as he wraps an arm around my shoulders. “Something comfortable. She needs to take a seat and relax. She’s been on her feet all day.”
“Aww!” Collette purrs. “He’s so adoring, Lottie. Say, wasn’t he your boyfriend at the time of my death?”
I give a little nod her way.
Sammy purses her lips as she examines the ledger in front of her. I’ll admit, she hardly looks like the girl from the awards ceremony that night, not only because of that tinsel-based costume, but with the spastic lights robbing her of all natural color, she’s practically unrecognizable. My guess is she doesn’t recognize me either.
She frowns. “Unfortunately, we just rented out our last ménage. But you’re in luck, if you’re up for the ritual room.”
“Oh my stars!” Collette bucks and gasps as if someone just shot her.
Sammy nods. “It’s a voyeur adventure, but if you don’t mind a few eyes on you, it’s a wonderful experience. It’s more or less a scripted interpretive dance.” She looks my way. “You’re the damsel in distress and one of these men will play the part of the villain while the other plays your hero.” She leans my way. “We never tell the damsel which is which. And we’ve never had a damsel complain about it either.”
Noah tilts in. “We’ll take it. What do we do?”
Sammy points to her left. “Dressing rooms are back there. I recommend being shirtless for the men. You can leave your ties on, your suit jacket if you must.” She nods my way. “I’ve got a few dresses you can choose from.” She nods and I follow her to the back as Noah and Everett are pointed to the room next door.
“Have fun, Lottie!” Collette waves as she floats next to Everett. “I’m heading into the boys’ dressing room because I can. Don’t worry.” She comes shy of biting Everett’s ear. “It’s nothing I haven’t seen before. But, boy, do I miss it.”
Sammy leads me into a glorified closet and pulls out a red velvet dress with a laced-up bodice and a skirt that cuts off at the thighs.
Peach Cobbler Confessions Page 7