by Julie Reece
Gideon lifts his face to the sky. “Pan, wait! We haven’t discussed the rules.”
“There are none. Do it or don’t. Get yourselves in and out and you’ll win the princess. Alive is preferable to you, I’m sure, though I’ll be entertained either way.” Maniacal laughter clogs the air again, congealing the blood around my heart. “However, should you lose yourselves along the way, well then, I suppose the rest is self-explanatory.”
Oppressive shadows retreat as clouds pass from the sun. The evil that haunts the graveyard slinks into hiding. Cicadas sing. Birds chit and tweedle again in the trees.
“Pan!” Gideon tries again, but it’s clear he’s gone.
Dane clings to Maggie like he’ll never see her again. When their eyes meet, his eyebrows knit together. “Maddox,” he whispers, still looking at Mags. “I can’t.” The intensity radiating from that one word rivals the damn sun.
“It’s all right, Dane. I understand.” Gideon’s jaw clenches hard enough to shatter bone. His gaze drifts over Rae, and quickly moves on. “We’ll meet in my father’s office at nine tomorrow morning. Until then, shower, change, eat, sleep … whatever you want. Each person must decide for themselves if they intend to travel into The Void, so consider the consequences carefully. No one here will think any less of you if you choose not to go.”
No one responds. There’s nothing to say. Each person must decide for themselves if they intend to travel to The Void … I’m going. Mind made up in an instant. For better or worse, I’ve committed myself to Rose’s freedom. As far as the others, I have no idea what they’ll do.
Dread fills my chest knowing that the only one who may pass through the mirror tomorrow is me.
Chapter Sixteen
Gideon
Dry drowning occurs when a person’s lungs become unable to extract oxygen from the air. That’s the official definition from Wikipedia. I don’t remember how or why I’m familiar with the term, but it comes to mind because that’s what’s happening to me as I look into Raven’s beautiful gray eyes and lie.
“You’re breaking up with me?” she asks. Her voice holds a note of stunned defeat.
“Yes.”
“I’m confused. You said … ” Her gaze drops. “We had all these plans.”
I clench my fists, fighting the urge to reach for her, plead temporary insanity and kiss her senseless. Instead I say, “I know, but everything’s different now.” I can hardly believe the curt, unemotional words are mine. “The Void is dangerous. I can’t do my job if I’m worrying about your safety. Or Wynter’s, for that matter. I’m sorry, but—”
“You’re sorry?” The sheen in her eyes might as well be a scythe for how deeply it cuts. “And you’re telling me you want to go in there alone?” She doesn’t wait for my answer. “First, you’re adamant only Cole goes into The Void, and we stay behind. Now, no one should go but you. What changed?”
“Is that an actual question?” My laugh is dry and tight, but she merely stares. “You want plain talk? All right then, here it is. I’ll need to make spit-second decisions in there, and I can’t afford distractions or to carry any dead weight. We need fighters. You grow flowers. You’d only be in the way.”
Two spots of pink rise under her perfect, bloodless cheeks. If I have to watch her suffer a minute longer, I’ll crack. So, I face the window, study the forest beyond our property, keeping my back to Rae. From the sunroom where we stand, a massive screened porch opens to a three tiered deck, and further down, the lake. My father doesn’t do anything small. After Maddox Industries gave me the boot, I thought of selling this place and using the money for tuition. Yet, once I suspected the magic hidden in my father’s office, selling the house was out of the question. What if an innocent family moves in? I can’t have anyone accidentally sucked into The Void.
No. I’m out of options.
“I’ve finally accepted my responsibility, Raven. My family opened the door between worlds causing decades of suffering. It’s my problem to fix, undo those wrongs, and close the portal forever. I won’t leave someone else to clean up my mess. Not this time.” I’m convincing myself as much as her, but it sounds right. Confident my plan will protect her while providing the excuse I need for breaking up, if she’ll just …
“Not happening.”
… stop fighting me.
“You actually think you can do all of this by yourself?”
As of about an hour ago, yes. I hadn’t considered destroying the portal, but why not? Hell, who knows if it’s even possible, but my life here is over and if I’m going in there anyway, I might as well try. Salt fills my throat as I turn and face her. “Wynter just got his life back. No need to make him a martyr. He needs to move on.” And take care of you, whether or not I come back.
When she nods, I think I’m finally getting through until that stubborn chin of hers sets. “Fine, we’ll bring Rosamond back for him.”
“No,” I say. “You misunderstand. There is no we anymore.” She blanches, and I want to punch myself, but I’ve come too far to stop. “You’re going to stay here, with him.”
She steps forward, placing a palm on my forearm. My skin scorches under her fingertips, my heart pulsing with need. It kills me that her touch is so tentative. She’s unsure because I’ve made her so. All I want is her—all I’ve wanted from day one—but that’s impossible now. Words strangle in my throat, so I glare at her little hand on my arm until she withdraws it.
“Why?” she whispers. “What did I do?”
The question knifes me. “Nothing. I’ll always be your friend.” It’s the truth. I step back, still tethered by her mist-colored eyes. Resilience lights inside them. The strength I’ve always admired in her—gone missing these last few months—reappears now in force and works like liquefying flame against my waxy bones.
“You want to be friends?” Something between a laugh and sob escapes. Her hands spread in a helpless gesture. “Are you doing this to protect me? Is that it?”
“Partly.” Completely. I feel my will crumbling under her pleading gaze, and that won’t do. “I told you, everything’s changed.”
“Including your feelings for me?”
“Yes.” It’s only one word. Though I feel my soul blackening around the edges before turning to ash the way paper does as it burns.
She’s not listening. I can see it in the stubborn set of her mouth. Her fingers climb my arms, slide over my shoulders until her hands clasp behind my neck. My eyes roll back as she presses her warm lips to my jaw. “Raven … please don’t.”
Apparently, my words aren’t convincing, because she pulls my head forward. How is it that when my lips touch her skin, it’s my lungs that catch fire? Heartbreak knocks furiously at the door of my chest. My body responds to her against my will, muscles tighten and ignite.
“Tell me what’s really going on … ” Her voice, a soft hum in my ear, drives me crazy with wanting. “Whatever it is, you can trust me.”
Her lips skim feather light over my mouth. I feel every breath, each nuance. The way her nose nudges mine and her eyelashes flutter against my cheek. She teases, nips at my lower lip, then drops soft, maddeningly gentle kisses across my throat looking for a response. My brain is an oven. Heart, lungs, arms, all of me screams for relief. I want to douse the pain of losing her with the truth and beg her forgiveness, but then it becomes about what’s good for me again and not for her.
“Stop it, Rae!” I hate how the gritty sound of my voice reveals my weakness for her. My hands grip both her arms, and plucking them from around my neck, I complete the herculean task of setting her apart from me.
I search her filling eyes. Would she stay if I told her everything? I fear she would, but without her dreams, she’d never be satisfied. Never truly happy, and she’d end up resenting me. I wouldn’t survive that. “This isn’t working anymore. Please understand that I can’t be with you. Not in that way.”
“Can’t or won’t.”
He
r tears break free. Each one mirrors a punishing lash across my back. I hide my pain in a shrug. “Believe what you want, but we’re over.”
Raven’s lips part, but she doesn’t speak. She’s backing away. Faster. She turns. Runs. As she flies out the door, she barrels past Dane who’s standing just outside. He calls after her, but gets no response.
Dane angles toward me, hands fisted. His stride is heavy with purpose. “What did you do?”
I don’t even try to block the punch that’s coming. In fact, I hope he hits me with everything he’s got. And he doesn’t let me down.
Red stars explode behind both eyes. My jaw may be lying on the floor somewhere, but I hardly care. Pain radiates down my neck and shoulder as I await his next blow. Disappointment consumes me when it doesn’t come. I want to fight, to black out. Forget who I am, and what I’ve done, if only for a moment, but I don’t.
“What’s up with you, asshole?”
This seems to be a recurring theme today. I palm my jaw where the swelling has already started. Calming my churning insides, I answer with a cool I don’t feel. “Eavesdropping?” I pick up my cane and struggle to my feet. Leaning against the window to my rear, I wait for the throbbing to subside.
“With all that yelling, who could help it? Tell me what the hell is going on.”
“I’m not doing this with you, Dane.”
“I didn’t ask you to dance. I want to know why you’re being an ass.”
“It’s none of your business.”
“You’re hurting Rae.”
His accusation works like a shiv between my ribs. “I know.” The last person on Earth to deserve such treatment is wounded, confused, and angry—because of me. I glance into a corner. There, a tiny moth tries to free himself of the sticky web. As I focus on his struggle, a heavy breath leaks out along with my resolve. “There was a meeting in New York last week. The board took my company.”
Several expressions scroll across Dane’s face as he processes what I’ve said. Not that I give a shit. I don’t need his approval.
“They’ve taken everything.” Admitting the truth out loud is freeing while making me angrier than I’ve ever been. “I let her down, and my father, and everyone at Maddox Industries. I’m broke, Dane. Does that clear the situation up any?”
He’s quiet for a long while and then says, “I’m sorry, man. I really am. Does she know?”
Words that flowed so freely moments ago stick as my throat clogs with shame. I shake my head.
His eyes light with accusation and then sharpen into understanding. “So, your answer is to end it?”
“She won’t be alone.” Just the thought of her with him, and I press my lips to a line.
“Aw, dog.” Dane bumps my arm. “No way, you’re talking about Cole? You are! It’s all over your face.” He laughs without humor. “Nah, man that’s … ”
Cold? Cowardly? He doesn’t use words, but his expression sends the same message.
“Dude, that’s twisted, even for you.” He rubs a finger beneath his nose. “Rae’s not a puppy. You don’t find your girlfriend a new owner because you’re moving or lost your job. I thought you were smarter than this.”
Dane’s intuitive, blunt, and honest. Qualities that make me like him more than I’ll admit. I move my jaw from side to side, wincing as I test its capabilities. “Nice left.”
His smirk is cocky. “I’m aware.”
“Listen, I’m not naive, but Raven’s happiness as a person depends on her art. It’s in her blood. She’s ambitious, worked too hard, and put up with too much shit to have that chance taken away. The girl is worth any sacrifice I can make. Hell, you said yourself, I’m an ass. It probably won’t take her long to figure out she’s better off. Cole’s rich. He knows her history, and he loves her.”
“Are you sure?”
I feel my brow wrinkle. “You’re not?”
Dane takes a quick glance back, thick dreads drifting over his shoulder. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m Maggie’s for life, but I get what’s cool about lil’ Rae.” He rubs his chin. “Especially from Cole’s perspective. She rescued him, right? She’s mysterious in a way that makes guys notice. Cole admires her. That ain’t the same thing as love.”
“He’d do anything for her.”
“Maybe. Look, I’ll admit I didn’t trust you in the beginning, but Rae’s been … better with you. Happier than I’ve ever seen her. You too, right?”
I stare him down. My feelings are obvious enough, and though I’m interested in Dane’s opinion, I’m not spilling my guts for him.
He doesn’t blink. “You’re just going to walk away without a fight?”
Yes, I am. She’s hurt now, but Wynter will pick up the pieces. I promised I’d never leave, and I won’t. She’ll recover, and when she’s ready, we’ll be friends again. “In the end, she’s better off.” As for me, I’m used to being alone. I’ll get used to it again.
“You should tell her about the money, and let Raven decide what’s right for her.”
I lean forward. “No. And you’re not telling her either. You don’t have to understand—”
“Never said I didn’t understand; I just think you’re wrong.”
My muscles relax. “It’s for the best. Trust me, it’s easier this way.”
He frowns, expression dubious, but his hand finds my shoulder and he gives me a squeeze. “Rethink your plan, Maddox. I seriously doubt it’s for the best. And it damn sure isn’t going to be easy. For either of you.”
Chapter Seventeen
Cole
As I face the mirror that leads into The Void, two dark blue eyes look back. They have a lot to say, the first of which is: Are you completely mental? Rose must be some special girl to tempt you back to the hellhole you barely escaped.
My reflection is wise enough not to answer.
The snick of the door handle has me whirling around. Gideon was here in his father’s study when I arrived, and after a quick hallo, we’ve ignored each other ever since. He wears his khaki cargo pants and black button down effortlessly. Leaning against a bookcase reading, he looks more like some GQ model on a safari photo shoot than crusader. I think of a first meeting with Rose, and glance down at my faded jeans, black boots, and T-shirt. For a moment, I consider heading upstairs to change before wondering when I became a bloody girl.
I head for the couch and flop onto the downy cushions to wait. It’s nine a.m. when Dane and Maggie walk in together, each holding a ridiculous, American-sized coffee mug. A pang of jealousy hits as they laugh, so easy and comfortable with each other. Still dressed in drawstring flannel, I assume they’ve just rolled out of bed and opted out of our little adventure. Under the silhouette of a semi-automatic gun, Dane’s T-shirt reads: Southern Men own the Zombie Apocalypse, while Maggie’s declares: I’m not fat, I’m poofy.
All right then.
Dane strolls over to Gideon. My heightened senses make their hushed whispers easy to hear. Not that I’m trying. Okay, I’m trying a little bit. They’re discussing Gideon’s “redefined” relationship with Raven and how he intends to get Rose out of The Void alone.
Over my dead body.
Maggie makes her way over and sinks into the cushion next to me. “Hey.”
“Hello,” I answer, still distracted by the pair near the bookshelves. Dane squeezes Gideon’s shoulder. When did those two get so chummy? “What’s happening over there?”
“Hm?” She glances over her shoulder, expression darkening. “Oh. Gideon’s leaving us some instructions for Jamis and Jenny while he’s away.”
I guess that confirms they aren’t coming.
“ … and for Raven. He’s hoping you’ll help us look after her, Cole.” Maggie’s head tilts. Her questioning gaze roams my face, but I’m not hiding anything.
“Always, but I won’t stay behind.” My muscles tense, answering questions she hasn’t asked. “I’m over the moon Rae’s not going. She has you, and Dane, and I
know she’ll be okay. Rose has no one, nothing but a small hope that I might come for her. I can’t let her down.”
A smile threatens. “Raven felt that way about you, you know.”
“I know. That’s why she’ll understand.” I nod toward Gideon. “He’s the one that should stay. Tosser. First, I can’t even look at her he’s so jealous, and now? He’s already bored, moving on to the next conquest.” Typical Maddox asshattery. “She’s better off without him. And maybe one day … ”
“Maybe what?”
I don’t know what holds me back. Raven was everything. Is. Is everything I ever wanted, yet I can’t quite say so. She’s had enough loss and hardship to last two lifetimes, and Maddox just dumped her. If I promise to come back and then don’t … No. I won’t do that to her. “It isn’t fair.”
“What isn’t fair?”
Did I say that out loud? I need to relax. Thankfully, Raven walks through the door and saves me from talking more rubbish.
She spies Gideon and Dane in the corner. Their heads bend toward each other conspiratorially.
While she’s distracted, I watch her. I can’t help myself. Black combat boots, gray camo pants, and tank so tight its likely illegal in seven states. A black satchel dangles from one shoulder. Her long, dark braid casually hangs over the other, Laura Croft style. Everything about her screams defiant badass.
My gaze slips to Maddox for his reaction. She doesn’t resemble the jilted little woman or one likely to stay behind.
Raven strolls to the sofa. “You’ve got that look.”
Maggie’s eyes dart around their sockets like pinballs. “No I don’t. What look? There’s no look.”
She smiles. “It’s going to be fine.”
“Of course it is. Who said it wouldn’t? I’ll take care of everything. Edgar will be fine, spoiled rotten. I’ll handle the explanations with my parents. You’ll be back in time to start school in the fall … ” She bites her lip, eyes shiny and full.