by Sam Crescent
Blowing out a breath, he stared at her. She jumped back and was batting at her body.
“You know, there’s no shame in loving her,” Susan said.
“Don’t.” It wasn’t love. He didn’t do love. “Her social worker is coming next week. Can you be here?”
“Does she know?”
“No. She doesn’t need to know either.” He turned his back on her and got started on making some sandwiches for her.
Slathering each slice of bread with some butter, he filled them with fresh cut deli meats that Susan always brought with her. Topping the sandwiches with another slice of bread, he poured them both a coffee and headed back outside.
He didn’t need an argument with Susan or to hear any of the bullshit she was talking about. He’d deal with the blonde chick soon enough, and as for Mavis, he’d make sure she was taken care of.
When she was twenty-one, she’d have her own fortune, and there wouldn’t be anything he could do about what she wished to do with her life.
Heading outside, he saw Mavis was in the process of running her fingers along the damp soil.
“Are you hungry?”
“Starving.”
She got up, brushed off her knees, and made her way toward him. He watched as she bent down near the tap he had outside for washing his hands and for the hose to water the garden.
He sat at the circular metal table that only had space for two. A couple of these were placed around the yard for decoration.
As Mavis took a seat opposite him, she pushed back a lock of hair that escaped her ponytail. She looked so young, so fucking young.
And she belongs to you.
You could keep her.
He tried to shut the thought down, but seeing her, thinking about her swollen with his child, wearing his ring, he felt … fucking desperate.
Forcing himself to take a bite of his sandwich, he didn’t like how hopeful he felt of taking her for his own. She was his former best friend’s daughter, and he shouldn’t be having these thoughts about her.
If he took her as his wife, the world would think he’d blackmailed her or wanted her for her money.
Why would a beautiful young woman want anything to do with him? He was scarred, ruined, and she had so much left of her life.
“Are you okay?” she asked. “I think you’re going to make the grass scared and die you’re glaring at it that much.”
He forced himself to remain calm and shook his head. “Nothing. Eat your sandwich.”
“Yes, boss.” She winked at him, and he knew without a doubt he was in trouble.
She’d gotten under his skin, and there was no way out, not for him.
All he wanted to do was protect her, and the only way to do that was to let her go.
Wasn’t it?
****
For the past week, Luca had been in a horrible mood. Mavis stared across the dining room table and stared at the door that he’d just stormed out of. Last night was the first time he’d sent her back to her room.
The rejection stung.
She’d been sneaking into his bed, which wasn’t sneaking at all—it was pretty blatant as she’d always been snuggled up under the covers by the time he arrived.
Her breakfast of poached eggs, bacon, and fried tomatoes was half-eaten. Picking up the plate, she took it into the kitchen.
Susan was back, and Mavis had noticed she’d been here every single day the past week.
“You’re not hungry?” she asked.
“No.”
“Ah, okay.”
Susan didn’t look at her, and Mavis leaned against the counter.
“Do you know what is wrong with him?”
“Sorry, dear, what?”
She stared at Susan, and for the first time since she moved here, she felt like a child. Gritting her teeth, she wondered if that was Luca’s problem.
He finally saw her as a child.
Not that she was one. Far from it.
“Nothing.” She headed to the back door.
“Where are you going?” Susan asked.
“For a walk.” She really needed to clear her head.
Closing the door gently behind her, she walked down the steps and took a few moments to breathe in the crisp air. The days and nights were getting colder. She loved this time of year when the foliage was pushed back, bare, and nothing could touch it. The trees had shed their leaves, and what was once ripe, full, and beautiful now held a tinge of darkness. Of something morbid and sad.
Pushing those thoughts from her mind, she made her way through the garden, taking time to stop here and there to just get her rapidly beating heart under control.
Sitting alone for breakfast wasn’t new for her.
Had Luca bored with her already?
“Men only want one thing, and when they get it, they don’t care about anyone or anything. You’re just a thing to them, Mavis. A useless piece of worthless trash, and you’re not even pretty, so they won’t even come back for a second helping.”
Even with her mother dead, she heard the cackle that followed something like that. It seemed that no matter how hard she tried to forget her mother’s vile words, she couldn’t. In moments like this, where she didn’t have a clue what she’d done or who she’d hurt, they came back to haunt her, to scare her, and there was no fighting it.
How could she fight it?
This was her life now.
Tears filled her eyes, and she tried not to let them fall.
“For fuck’s sake, Mavis, I don’t have time for this.”
She’d only asked him if he wanted to come out for a swim with her. He’d told her just the other day as they were working in the yard that the pool was heated and any time she wished to go for a swim she was more than welcome.
He didn’t work all that much, and when he did it was often on his laptop while she rested her head against his knee. He’d always balance the laptop on the arm of the sofa while his other hand ran fingers through her hair.
She hadn’t made him do that.
He’d done that all on his own, and now she felt like a bitch for having him do that. She never stopped him from working.
She kept on walking, needing a distraction from the tears that for some reason wouldn’t stop.
The last thing she wanted to do was cry. Crying never solved anything. Crying just made people laugh.
She found herself back near the pool house and pool.
Alone.
Just like that night when it was raining.
The night she lost her virginity and her heart.
Luca didn’t want her anymore.
The first tears started to fall, and she hated them.
Luca had shown her how to pull back the pool cover. He always had people coming out to service one thing or another. Since he had an idea for the rest of the ranch and the spare fields, he’d been talking to several ranch hands and business owners. She’d been there in the background, listening as he talked business.
He knew what he was doing. He wasn’t a fool, even though some of the men had tried to treat him as such. She’d hated it when men had assumed she was his daughter.
If she wore lower shirts that showed off a great deal of her cleavage, they never doubted that she was old enough to be by his side. Never had she hated her age more than those moments when they talked family and daughters.
It never failed to hurt her when he’d describe her as his ward, or himself as her guardian.
Or his best friend’s kid.
Yeah, that one bit.
She pressed the button that would pull back the cover that kept the water free from the falling leaves, not that there were any left.
She stared over the edge, and wondered what the water was like.
It had to be cold.
Instead of turning on the other button to begin warming the pool, she stepped to the edge and removed her clothing. Wriggling out of the jeans, she let them drop to the edge, then her panties, shirt, and bra.
; The cold nipped at her flesh.
Her nipples tightened to an unbearable degree as the cold made them so hard.
She took a deep breath, inhaling the chill even as more tears fell down her cheeks. She hated feeling this way and had long ago promised herself she wouldn’t do this to herself.
Gripping the rail, she stepped down. Each step took her closer to the water. The moment her feet touched the water, she gasped. It was so freaking cold.
She couldn’t help but laugh a little. Slowly, she lowered herself into the water until her feet touched the bottom.
Stepping away from the side of the pool, she walked to the center. The cold was scary good. She loved how it surrounded her. Running her hands back and forth through the water, she closed her eyes.
Tears fell down her face, and the pain was still there, but it was numbed.
She felt so cold and so open, and so scared, but none of it mattered. Just like when she begged her parents to let her stay home, and they refused to speak to her again. Or the first day they dropped her off at boarding school with a suitcase full of clothes.
She’d begged and screamed not to go, but her dad had forced her out of the car and dumped her at the reception desk of the boarding school.
No one had cared that she was terrified and just wanted to stay at home. Everyone had seen a spoiled brat. A young girl who didn’t want to do as her parents said. It had been so far from the truth.
They had lured her into the car with the promise of ice cream and some shopping. They lied to her to get her out of the house.
That one drive had been both hope and the worst memory in the world. She’d believed while they’d been in the car that they wanted to do better, to try better. That she was good enough for them.
Only, it had ended with her making a fool of herself.
Not seeing them had soon turned into a comfort.
She had never realized that she didn’t need her parents at all. They weren’t important to her.
Luca would have to be the same. She’d have to find some way of dealing with whatever problem he was having because she couldn’t allow herself to break. Not again.
She was eighteen now. There was no way he could send her to boarding school. She’d be able to find her own path, one that didn’t include him.
Even as she thought about life without him, it filled her with a giant ball of sadness. He’d become part of her life and now she was thinking about leaving him behind. It was right.
Something had to be wrong, right?
You’re just a kid.
A kid that no one ever wanted.
And now you’re a pain, and it’s time for you to be on your own.
Chapter Nine
Luca was so fucking pissed off at himself. Work wasn’t a good distraction. The social worker, Annabel, was due to arrive tomorrow, and he didn’t like the thought of that blonde bitch being in his home. He certainly didn’t like that he’d pushed Mavis away at every turn during this past week.
He’d done more work in an attempt to distract himself, but it had only made him even more angry.
Work wasn’t important to him, not like Mavis. Last night, he’d kicked her out of his bed, and he’d watched her walk out of the room with a slump to her shoulders. He hated seeing her like this, knowing he was the one causing her pain, but he didn’t know what else to do.
What if they could take her away from him?
He was the one that was supposed to be in charge and responsible for her. He needed to tell her that Annabel was coming, but each time he tried, he found himself stuck. He didn’t want to blow the bubble that had surrounded them the past few weeks. Their life had been perfect without any interference from the outside world.
Of course, that world had to invade his home.
The ranch hands and businessmen he’d been speaking with had asked him how fatherhood was, or how he handled his young daughter far away from the prying eyes of the world.
It had pissed him off, but it had also reminded him that he was supposed to be taking care of her, not keeping her to himself, which was what he wanted to do.
He didn’t want the world to know how precious she was, or how amazing their life was out here.
When people saw happiness like this, they set out to either destroy it or replicate it. This was their own piece of heaven.
He shouldn’t have yelled at her, and it pissed him off that he allowed the pressure of everything else to make him lash out.
She’d been so hurt, and he’d just walked away because that was what adults did.
She’s an adult too, asshole.
Stop treating her this way and either commit or let her the fuck go.
He didn’t want to let her go, and didn’t believe for a second that it was even possible for him to do something like that.
Could he really let her go?
No.
It was the one thing he couldn’t do.
He’d refuse to give her up.
Mavis deserved someone who cared about her, who would do everything in their power to keep her safe and protected, and he was that person.
What about love?
He wouldn’t think about that. Love wasn’t part of him. He couldn’t do it.
Susan was still cooking away, the delicious scents permeating the entire house. He checked upstairs but didn’t find Mavis anywhere in sight.
He checked the dining room, the library, and the movie room. Still nowhere in sight. He’d only caught her a few times in the kitchen, but he figured that was where she had to be.
Susan was at the stovetop, stirring something in a pot.
“Have you seen Mavis?” he asked.
“She went out in the yard. I don’t know what is going on with you two, but she looked really upset.”
He ignored Susan’s prying tone, and went out into the yard. He gave Mavis’s name a shout but still nothing.
The chill in the air nipped at the exposed flesh of his arms. Today he’d purposefully put on one of his business suits in an attempt to distract himself from the woman that was living with him.
He moved off the porch step and started walking through the garden.
She had to be in the pool house.
He’d not gotten the carpet removed yet, but it was on his list of things to do. Would she be disgusted when she saw the blood? The evidence of her virginity?
Thinking about that night made his dick hard, and all he wanted to do was lay her out beneath him and make love to her. He’d been a giant dick to her, and there was no getting past that.
Running fingers through his hair, he came to the opening of the pool and the house, only to see Mavis in the water.
Her eyes were closed, and he saw tears running down her cheeks.
You did that to her, asshole.
You made her cry.
“Mavis, honey, did you hear me shouting?”
“Go away,” she said.
She whispered the words so slightly, but he heard the pain deep inside them. She was upset, and he knew why.
He’d been a total dick and asshole to her, and she deserved more and better, especially from him.
“I’m not going away,” he said.
She opened her eyes, and he stared into their blue depths. “Why? Do you need your dick attended to, is that it? You want to forget for a few minutes that I’m a teenager. That you’re my guardian.”
“Mavis?”
“No. You can’t do this. It’s not fair. I may be eighteen years old, but this hurts. Don’t you get that? It hurts to be part of something and then have it torn away from you. I thought we were doing really well, and then today, why yell at me? Why do this to me? Why kick me out of your bed?”
He noticed her lips were blue, and he frowned.
“You heated the water, right?” he asked.
“Go away, Luca. I don’t want you here.”
He didn’t go away. Stepping up to the pool, he crouched down and felt the cold of the water.
“Wha
t the fuck! Get out of the water.”
“No.”
“How long have you been in there?” he said.
“Stop it. Just stop it.” She screamed each word at him.
“I’m not joking around here, Mavis.”
“Neither am I.”
“Then get out of the damn water and stop acting like a child.”
“How am I acting like a child? You can swim in cold water. I’ve not been in here long enough and I’m fine. I’ve read all about it. Leave me alone.”
He was done trying to reason with her.
Climbing into the water, he felt the chill go straight to his bones. If she wasn’t ill after this, it would be a fucking miracle.
She started to move away from him, and it was then he noticed she was completely naked, and it pissed him off.
He turned his back for two minutes and look what kind of shit was going on.
This was your fault.
She doesn’t know about Annabel.
Nor does she know that you’re a fucking dick.
He turned toward her, and she shook her head.
“Why can’t you just give me some time to think?” she asked.
“Because you can make yourself ill doing this, and now I’m pissed off that I wasn’t here to keep an eye on you.”
“You can’t control everything. Not even me. I can do what I want.”
“You sound like a child.”
She rolled her eyes. “I’m not even going to attempt to argue about this. I wanted some time away from the house. From everything. I’ve done nothing wrong and you yell at me, for what?”
“I shouldn’t have yelled at you.”
“No, you shouldn’t.”
He took a step toward her but stopped as she moved away. He didn’t like that she kept trying to leave him, to move away.
“Why did you?” she asked.
“Why did I what?”
“Yell at me. I only asked for you to spend some time with me in this pool. I don’t get it. Can I not ask you for something?”
“Of course you can. It’s just … Annabel is coming.”
She frowned. “Who’s Annabel?”
“The social worker.”
“She’s coming here?”
“Yes. Tomorrow. I didn’t … I don’t know what her power is in this situation. You’re of age, but I am still your guardian. I don’t know if she can take you away from me, and I don’t want to lose you, Mavis. I care, and that’s why I’ve been trying to keep you at arm’s length. I know you deserve more.”