by Speer, Flora
“That isn’t what I meant,” she protested.
“It will have to do for now.” Picking up the grey wool square, he wrapped it around her shoulders. “You should have a brooch to hold this together. Most noblewomen do. Ill find one for you as soon as I can. If you are still here.”
While arranging the grey folds at the back of her neck, his fingers brushed against the chain holding her medallion, which she had tucked beneath her clothing. He pushed aside a lock of her hair that had become entangled in the chain.
“How can we talk about what has happened when we know so little?” he asked. “All I am certain of is that what is between us will be of short duration, for you will leave me, whether you want to or not. All we have is now. This day, this hour, this moment. And in every day there is duty as well as pleasure. While I may wish to lie with you again, to bury myself in your sweetness, I have obligations I cannot deny.”
She would have reminded him that each day’s duties had an end, that when nightfall came they could be together once more in the privacy of his house, but she knew he was right. When evening arrived, she might be gone. In his firm restraint, in his determination to do what duty required of him for the benefit of his king and his men, she found strength.
“Tell me how I can help you this day,” she said and saw in his eyes his warm response to her offer.
She went with him to see Eudon, who lay on a pallet placed upon the floor of the narrow, barracks-like building where the men-at-arms slept. Hugo was with him.
“We’ve just come back from the bath that’s famous for healing wounds,” Hugo informed them. “In the hot water Eudon was able to move his leg and hip freely again. The stiffness he suffered after riding is completely gone.”
After the last few days of riding and occasional bouts of fever, India had expected Eudon to develop an infection in his wound and probably die of it, since the only treatment available after the cauterization Theu had done was application of herbal poultices. To her surprise, he appeared to be recovering.
“I’ll be fit to ride again in a day or two,” he informed Theu. “I’ll not miss the coming campaign.”
“You will have several days to regain your strength before we can leave,” Theu said.
“Don’t go without me.” Then Eudon smiled at India. “I always knew you were a girl. You have hands too gentle for a boy.”
“Are we still to call you India?” Hugo asked, looking at her feminine garb.
“It is my real name,” she replied.
“It’s a relief to me not to have to pretend anymore that you are a boy,” Hugo told her. “I’m not good at pretending.”
“Did everyone know?” she asked him.
“All of us.” He grinned at her. “You couldn’t fool the most stupid of us for very long, but we went along with your disguise because Theu said to, in case you were a Saxon spy or perhaps a criminal running from justice. But we soon saw you were no ordinary woman when you did not complain at the pace of our travel or the lack of dainty food. Then, after you helped Eudon, you were like one of us.”
“How fond I am of you,” she said, looking at Hugo and then down at Eudon. “Of all of you.”
“Be warned, Marcion will surely tease you about wearing boy’s clothes.” Hugo’s pale blue eyes twinkled at the prospect. “Answer him boldly.”
“I shall.” Changing the subject, she asked, “Hugo, do you know if the lady Danise has left Aachen yet? If not, I would like to visit with her.”
“Sister Gertrude is resting after her travels, and keeps Danise by her side.” Hugo’s smile disappeared. “I had hoped to see her again before she’s carried off to Chelles, but I begin to fear that won’t be possible. If you see her, and if you can do so without Sister Gertrude overhearing, will you tell Danise she is in my thoughts?”
With Eudon napping, Theu and Hugo went off on some masculine business having to do with the trip to Agen. India decided she would try to see Danise. After asking directions of a servant, she located the guest chamber allotted to the nun and her charge, which was on the second level of the lodge. Danise herself opened the door at India’s knock.
“Yes?” She looked at India politely but blankly, not recognizing her at first. Her expression quickly changed to a broad smile. “Oh, my. It is you, isn’t it? I was right. I thought you weren’t a boy.”
“It seems that everyone I met knew,” India said dryly.
“Not Sister Gertrude. She said the most awful things about you and Count Theuderic.” Danise began to blush. Laying one finger across her lips to caution silence, she leaned backward into the room, speaking in a whisper. “Clothilde, sit with Sister Gertrude while she naps. I won’t be long, I promise. If she wakens, tell her I’ve gone to the kitchen to try to coax a treat for her from the cook.”
“Perhaps that is what we ought to do,” India said after the door was closed. “Then you won’t be guilty of an untruth.”
“An excellent idea,” Danise agreed. “I know the way.”
She was a clever girl. It did not take her long to convince the cook to fill a flat basket with apples, nuts, and several kinds of dried fruit intended for Sister Gertrude. The cook added two still-warm sweet buns, sticky with honey, for the young women, then shooed them out of the kitchen, saying she had much work to do before the midday meal was ready.
Leaving the kitchen, India and Danise found a towering oak tree and sat leaning against its trunk while they ate their buns.
“Do you like the school at Chelles?” India asked, wondering exactly what would interest a Frankish girl who looked to be no more than fifteen or so.
“It’s confining,” Danise said. “There are so many rules to follow. I try to be good, but secretly I wish I could be free. How I envy you, dressing in boy’s clothes and traveling through Saxony.”
“Only a day or two ago, I was envying you,” India told her.
“Why?” asked Danise, licking honey off her fingers.
“Because of Hugo.”
Danise grew very still, clasping her hands in her lap.
“You don’t want Hugo,” she said. “You love Count Theuderic. Even Sister Gertrude saw it. That’s why she said what she did, thinking you were a boy and that you and he -. I should not be saying such terrible things. I shouldn’t even know about them. My father would be horrified to know how the girls at school talk sometimes.”
“Your father tried to arrange a marriage between you and me,” India said, believing it was best to warn the girl, in case Savarec should raise the matter again. Danise burst into laughter.
“Poor Papa. He is a wonderful military commander, you know, but where I am concerned, he can sometimes be amazingly foolish.”
“Perhaps I shouldn’t interfere,” India said, “but I think Hugo would be interested in the arrangement for you that I was forced to refuse. “ She then relayed Hugo’s message.
“I hoped it was so.” Danise’s pretty face shone with pleasure. “Thank you for telling me. He is often in my thoughts, too. When next I see my father, I will mention Lord Hugo to him in the most discreet way. Perhaps by then Hugo will have made a famous name for himself in the coming campaign.”
They talked on, India asking most of the questions, for she was genuinely interested in Danise’s life, and she also did not want to reveal too much about herself. Even with that self-imposed constraint, it was good to talk to another woman after being so long in the company of men.
“I ought to return to my room,” Danise said after a while. “If Sister Gertrude wakens from her nap and finds me gone, she will punish poor Clothilde as well as me. I hope we can talk again, Lady India.” Taking up the basket intended for the nun, she headed toward the lodge.
Left to her own devices, India wandered about Aachen, trying to resolve the ethical problem brought back to her mind by Danise’s words about Hugo earning fame in the summer campaign. She wanted to explain to Theu that the Spanish campaign would be a disaster that might prove fatal to him and to his men.
But ought she to remain silent about what she knew, and let history take its appointed course? The question unsettled her, for if she did what her heart demanded, if she warned Theu about the dangers he would face in Spain, would his actions then change history, possibly disrupting the lives of uncounted people right down to her own day? Or was Hank right in his theory that over many centuries any changes would be corrected? Thinking about these questions made her head ache, and she walked about unseeing for a long time.
Only gradually did the peaceful somnolence of a royal residence when king and court were elsewhere begin to impress itself on her consciousness. She felt remarkably safe. The few men or women she met nodded to her politely or exchanged a word or two of greeting if she spoke first, but no one accosted her. With a quickening of interest, she explored the lodge itself, looked into the stables, and inspected the area around the royal baths, which were suitably larger than the small spring and pool by Theu’s house. Later she re-entered the kitchen, where she was informed by the friendly cook that the main meal of the day would be served almost at once, and it would be a simple dinner of stewed fish and vegetables because it was a fast day. Following the cook’s directions, she made her way to the great hall. Theu and several of his men were there before her.
“I have found a horse for you,” Theu told her when they were seated at the long trestle table and enjoying the stew, brown bread, and wine the servants passed around. “She’s a gentle mount, since you aren’t used to riding.”
“Will you ride sidesaddle now that you are a lady again?” teased Marcion from the opposite side of the table.
“I’ve heard that it’s difficult to do,” she returned, laughing back at him. “I would much prefer to wear my old clothing and ride astride.”
“You could always mount yourself with Theu again,” said Marcion, still teasing. “I doubt he’d mind if you did.”
“We will travel faster if you do ride astride,” said Theu thoughtfully, rising from the table and pulling India up with him. “You can practice this afternoon. Meet me at the stable after you have changed into your boy’s clothing.”
Her tunic and trousers were still a bit damp, but she put them on after first donning her lace bra and teddy. From the searching look Theu gave her when she found him holding both his grey stallion and a smaller chestnut mare, she thought he might be wondering what she wore beneath the wrinkled green outer layer of clothing. But he said nothing, confining himself to a serious explanation of what she would need to know to enable her to travel at the pace he wanted to set. At last he allowed her to mount, and together they rode across open meadows and into the forest, finally stopping beside the lake.
“We leave the day after tomorrow,” Theu said.
“Will Eudon be ready to travel again so soon?”
“Eudon will. Will you?”
“Certainly. I’m no weakling.”
“You sound offended. Perhaps you don’t understand how hard the journey will be.”
“I won’t delay you,” she returned with some annoyance. “Did I slow you on the way here from Saxony?”
When he did not answer, but sat frowning at the lake, she repressed the sharp comment she had been about to make, choosing instead to show him how much she had learned about riding. Pulling her horse around, she dug her heels into its sides and took off in the direction of the stable. She bent low over the animal’s back, feeling the rhythm of its muscles and the wind in her hair, hearing Theu’s shout and then the sound of his horse’s hooves in pursuit of her. She was laughing when she came to a stop in the stableyard, proud that she had stayed on the horse’s back and delighted to know she had won the impromptu race by a second or two.
“Get off!” Theu blazed at her, grabbing the reins out of her hands. “Dismount before I throw you off!”
Too surprised to object, she slid to the ground while he gave the lathered horses over to the groom, who had hurried out of the stable to see what the commotion was.
“Tend them well, especially the mare. She’s been ridden too hard,” Theu said to the groom. Turning to India in a fury, he added, “You fool! How dare you use a valuable animal in that way? You aren’t skilled enough yet to ride safely at such a speed, nor do you know the paths around Aachen. The horse could have been injured so badly it might have had to be killed. You might have been thrown. You could have broken your neck. Did you stop to think of that?” Catching her arm, he dragged her away from the astonished groom, pulling her in the direction of his house.
“Theu, let go of me!” Too late, she remembered the other name his men had applied to him on the day of her arrival in Francia. Firebrand, for his temper and his fury on the battlefield. “I will not be treated like this!”
But he did not release her, nor did he speak again until they had reached his door. He wrenched it open, forced her into the house with rough hands, and slammed the door shut behind them.
“I ought to beat you,” he said, breathing hard. “Have you no sense at all? You could have been killed.”
“But I wasn’t,” she responded boldly. “Besides, I thought it was the horse you were so worried about.” Her display of courage quickly evaporated before his anger.
“Theu, no. No, please.” Not certain what he might do, she backed away from him. He followed, stalking her across the room until she stood with the back of her legs pressed against the table. She put both hands on the tabletop behind her, to keep herself from falling onto it.
“Are you determined to drive me mad?” he demanded. “You burst into my life, destroying my hard-earned peace, making me want you until I am half blind with passion, and then you do foolish, thoughtless things that make me fear for your life. Any other man would beat you, would starve you into humble submission, would lock you away and forget about you.” He caught her hair in both hands, stopping her backward motion across the table. “But I will never be able to forget you, though you leave me now and I never see you after this moment.
“Your hair, your glorious gold-brown eyes, your skin smooth as silk. India.” His mouth bruised hers, his hands kept her head where he wanted it so he could plunge his tongue into her, ravishing her mouth with such terrifying insistence that when he let her go, her knees buckled and she did fall onto the table. He straddled her legs, bending over her, his hands on her shoulders to hold her there.
“I ought to take you here and now,” he said, “without tenderness, without warming your heart or your body first, to show you how angry I am and how much I want you. Would that convince you that I care what happens to you?”
“It would convince me that you are a brute,” she replied. “And considering how vigorous you were last night, the table would probably collapse before you had any satisfaction at all.”
He glared at her for a long, breathless moment, during which she was uncertain whether he would hit her or take her by force as he had threatened. Because she was quivering with tension after his display of dominant maleness, she saw only his hard grey eyes, missing the sudden upward tilt at the corner of his mouth. She did not know what to expect when he hauled her upright with one hand.
“Take off your clothes,” he ordered.
‘Theu, please.” She was shaking, but it wasn’t with fear; it was because of a growing excitement. Every line of his body exuded a barely controlled passion that was directed entirely at her. And she welcomed it – she rejoiced in it.
“If you do not want to repair the seams before we set out for Agen,” he told her, “then remove those garments or I will tear them from you.”
She kicked off her boots and unfastened her trousers, letting them fall to the earth floor. With his eyes still on her, she lifted the tunic over her head, laying it and her necklace on the table.
With one strong arm he raised her off her feet, so he could press his face into the silky fabric of her teddy and kiss her breasts. When he began to circle one nipple with his tongue, the fiery heat of his mouth through the lace made her pulses pound. She leaned backward, awa
y from him, trying to catch her breath. He took immediate advantage of the slight distance she had put between them. Still holding her with one arm, with his free hand he explored the curve of her abdomen, then moved downward to the sloping valley that led to the aching spot between her thighs. There he pushed aside lace and fabric with so purposeful a motion that she thought he would tear the teddy off her. His fingers stroked into her, the intimate touch threatening to drive her mad with longing.
“Please,” she whispered, steadying herself with both hands on his shoulders. “Please.” She had no doubt about what it was she was begging for, nor any doubt at all that he would soon provide it. Taking his hand away, disregarding her distraught protest at the painful deprivation, he set her on her feet once more.
“If Ahnk comes for you now,” he muttered, reaching to catch the straps of her flimsy garment and pull them off her shoulders, “I will slay him without a moment’s thought.”
Half fainting with desire, she could make no answer. She could only stand unresisting while he removed her teddy, leaving her clad only in lacy black knee-high stockings and equally lacy gold bra. Swaying on her feet, she watched him tear off his own clothing, shamelessly exposing his need for her. She whimpered when he caught her at the waist, lifting her off her feet again, thrusting at her as he did so. Instinctively, she wrapped her arms around his neck. Then she screamed with surprise and swiftly mounting passion when he pulled her legs up and around his waist at the same instant that he entered her with a hard, jabbing movement.
It was there again, filling her mind and her every breath, that aching, primitive desire he roused in her each time they made love. It was beyond rational control; it overcame her with terrifying speed, leaving her incapable of thought. Driven half to delirium by a need she could not, and did not want, to fight, she gave in to the demands of her passion for him. She moaned when Theu carried her toward the bed, the motion of his powerful thighs pushing him deeper into her with every step. The force of their joined fall onto the bed drove him deeper still, his manhood piercing her body and her heart with a sweet, sharp joy as thrust followed vigorous thrust until her overwhelmed senses could endure no more and with a final, ecstatic cry she soared with him into rapturous completion.