The Legend of Johnny Hustle: Crown Me King

by Zach Tate

  “What?” he asked like I was asking him to spare a dime.

  “You just made a few moves on Fletcher Street. I’ll send my Jewish lawyer to see you. You sign a home over as a gift to the name he gives you. Plus expenses, and the tape comes back to you and you will never see me again.”

  “Are you out of your mind? That’s a quarter of a million dollar property?” he yelled.

  I shrugged my shoulders as I headed out the door, and then suddenly stopped. “Okay, Rolanda Watts at Channel 7 news will love to look at that tape. Catch it tonight at six.”

  Before I passed the threshold of the bedroom, he cried, “Okay—okay. How do I know you won’t make a copy?”

  I walked out of the door. “You don’t. See you soon. Same freak time. Same freak place. My lawyer will be here.”

  As I descended the stairs, I saw Red’s shadow beneath me, leaving with the briefcase and another videotape in her hand.

  $$$

  When I walked through the door to the suite, the ladies started celebrating. Everyone kissed on me and told Joy how great of a job she did. Red had a bottle of champagne in her hands, and poured it into my flute. On the side of the mini-bar were two stacks of cash. Next to them was a Laurence Graff, emerald cut, yellow diamond necklace and pendent. The .45 Colt automatic that Red insisted was hers, was lined up with two videotapes. Next to them were passports, Piaget and Patek Philippe diamond watches, and a black and white diamond encrusted chess set.

  I calmed the women down and announced, “We ain’t finished yet. We still have more work to do, and I got a few calls to make, so keep it down.

  Proverb was first on my list. I told him to spread the word that I needed to see Snow, and that I was looking for PeeWee. He assured me that he would, and within a half an hour, Snow was on the other side of the line.

  When I suggested that I wanted to do a legitimate deal with the property, he taught me how to set up a trust fund, which would be the holder of the house. He promised to use the Jewish community to my benefit so that he could close the deal in two days. All the arrangements were made for a small fee.

  The two sets of videotapes were on my mind. I joined the ladies and watched the first one I directed. When I asked Red about the second tape, she smiled. “Just watch and you’ll see why you have to keep me around, sugar.”

  I slid the second tape in the player and saw of all of us walking into the house. “Randolph’s house was wired for video?” I asked in surprise.

  Red said, “Not anymore,” filled with pride. “I found his security system near a safe in the study. It’s a shame how predictable men are.”

  She and the girls gave each other high-fives. I made a mental note to make copies of the tape at Camera World the following day. Since everything was set, and business was in progress, I was ready to celebrate with the ladies. That’s when Red informed me that the two stacks of cash equaled $38,000. I needed that cash to help replace the money I lost with PeeWee. The watches and $18,000 of that were mine. She kept $20,000 and the diamond chess set for herself.

  $$$

  The day after the sting, I explained to the ladies that I needed them to do more work, and that they would eventually come back into contact with Randolph Christopher.

  I had Red go over to Ligne Roset on 20th Street and Park Avenue so she could pick out enough furniture to properly decorate a private home. I gave her full instructions to pose as Randolph’s assistant. We needed the store to keep it as a surprise, because he would sign for it all when it was delivered.

  I then called the Samson & Sons moving company and told them that I wanted them to move furniture from one truck to another. As long as I submitted Randolph’s address and the credit card numbers that Red wrote down, the delivery wasn’t a problem.

  My last call was to Snow. He informed me that he would be at the Fifth Avenue address the following day, and that some of his friends from the J.D.L would be interested in the pedophile once my business with him was done.

  On the morning that I had to meet Randolph Christopher, I was at his home by nine o’clock. Snow got out of his car accompanied by the same two goons I met from the house scam in Brooklyn. When we walked into the house, Randolph said, “Let’s make this quick. I want you out of my life. You bastards.”

  He didn’t allow us into the interior of the house. Snow handed him three sheets of paper on a metal clipboard, he signed them all in the dim foyer. Snow handed me the signed papers, and I handed Randolph the tape. When the door opened for Snow and me to exit, I saw the truck from the furniture store, and the moving truck, pulling up at the same time. As Randolph closed the door, I braced it with my hand.

  “Oh, you have to sign for the furniture and the moving company.”

  “What? I didn’t order any furniture.” Randolph protested.

  “But I did. We had a deal for the property, plus expenses.” I pointed to the two trucks. “Those are the expenses.”

  “You got to be kidding me?” He asked before the goons stared him down. He suddenly changed his mind, and ran to the trucks to sign his name.

  As Randolph signed the papers with the deliverymen, Snow’s two goons slid into the house. Snow then tapped me. “Look-a here.” I looked down at the papers. Snow used carbon paper under the sheets Randolph signed. Snow said, “By the time I’m done with this signature, this guy will be short a hundred million. Your fee is paid and I hope you enjoy the property.”

  I stood there shaking my head. I was good at stealing, but I had a lot to learn.

  $$$

  Red and Joy made sure the furniture was delivered to the new home. Roxy was with me in the hotel, calling around to make sure the utilities and phone were on in the house, and that the security system that Red approved was being delivered. When she hung up the phone, she asked, “So when we moving baby?”

  I interlocked my hands behind my head. “We’re not. That home is for you and Joy. You’ll work out of the ground floor, and the other two floors are for each of you. Then, when you’re tired of running the streets, you can make it into a brothel and run your own business. When we get too old for this, and you’re ready to start a family, we can convert it to whatever. I’m just tired of y’all fussing and fighting. Just make sure there’s always room for me.”

  Finally, I was a homeowner and Roxy was going to be off the streets.

  She looked over to me, lips quivering, and tears of joy dripping from her cheeks. She sashayed over to me, and unbuttoned her chocolate one-piece skirt, which had black buttons going from her throat to her waist. “You want to start working on making that family right now?” she teased.

  Roxy fumbled for my belt, then my zipper. I slid into her slippery, going down a dangerous alley that many men traveled before, but I was the only one ever allowed to travel there unprotected when the lights were out.

  $$$

  By the second week of the New Year, the suite was empty. I put a word into the maitre’d’s ear so that he could let the Wall Street boys know that Roxy and Joy were open for business. He guaranteed they would have enough business to hold them for awhile.

  Roxy made up small business cards and went back to her blonde hair, blue-eyed look. She worked Eleventh Avenue again, bur she took her wealthy clients to the house. She and Joy were set and ready to go. Red and I had the huge suite to ourselves.

  Red missed the girls badly, so Gloria made it her business to hang around the suite during her free time. Two days later, Red’s mother called to say that she wasn’t feeling good. She wanted her daughter to finally come home so that she could show her off to the family.

  After debating about it for the whole night, Red finally followed my instructions and agreed that she was ready to go out to Dallas.

  The whole thing was a big deal to her. She used other people’s credit cards so she could travel with a set of Louis Vuitton luggage filled with new clothes. She was going back home in style. But before she left, she made it her business to buy us matching diamond wedding bands. I t
hought it was amusing and didn’t see what sense it made. “It means we’re connected,” Red said. I wore it just for the hell of it.

  The second day she was gone, I was alone for the first and in a very long time. Gloria knew my situation and she used it to her advantage. After she received what she wanted, she was getting dressed and said, “Honey, what you should think about doing is a Pyramid Scheme.”

  I didn’t know what she was talking about. I had to keep her in line so I asked, “You teaching me how to hustle now?”

  “Oh no, honey, I could never do that. It’s just that they have this pyramid thing jumping off with the workers at Macys in Brooklyn. I’m telling you, somebody is getting a hell of a lot of money out of that. At least a couple of hundred thousand.”

  When I heard the figures, the light bulb started to get a little brighter, so I said, “Have a seat and tell me about it.”

  She instantly sat back down. “Okay, this is how it goes. You get five people and tell them to invest a thousand dollars each. Tell them in one month that they will get five thousand back, if they can bring five people to invest their money within that month. You make sure that the ‘investor’ knows that they can’t make a dime unless they bring five more people. Now with those five people, they gonna bring twenty-five people. You get twenty-five grand and give back ten to the original investors. The fifteen is yours to keep, and when those twenty-five bring back a hundred? I don’t have to explain the rest now, do I, honey?”

  “If you know all of this, then why can’t you do it on your own?” I wasn’t going to be hustled by anyone again.

  She kissed me on the lips, and then said, “Talking about it and doing it is two different worlds. Plus, I can’t afford if something goes wrong. And, I just learned about it last night.”

  “How soon can you start?”

  “As long as you can cover the original five grand, if things get bad, I can start at the Elks club tonight.”

  It was all free money to me. It seemed like the more money I made, the easier it was for me to make more. I gave Gloria the okay, but explained that I wasn’t going to handle a thing, she was. Of course she agreed, and another hustle was born.

  $$$

  On the following day, I called the Plaza hotel to see what Cashmere was doing. He told me he was on his way to the Paramus Mall in New Jersey to pick up a few things. I didn’t have anything else to do. I put on a great looking Gucci outfit, grabbed my sable coat, and headed to Broadway to wait for my ride.

  By the time I was coming out of the Marriott, Gloria handed me a handful of money off of the Pyramid scheme. I know, I know. I shouldn’t have been surprised, but she got five grand in cash overnight, so I stuffed it in my pocket with no questions asked.

  Cashmere was sitting outside on the front of his Mercedes getting the phone number of the traffic lady who was supposed to be towing his car away. He had on an entire mink outfit. Mink was on his alligator boots, his pants, his silk shirt, and his full-length coat was mink. I was rolling with laughter. Cashmere looked like a giant pimping-mink with new onyx and gold MCM eyeglasses on.

  I sat in the passenger seat and waited for him to finish his rap.

  “Never ever-ever pass up the opportunity of a civil servant,” he yelled while beating on the steering wheel and putting the car into drive. “I don’t care if it’s Police, Corrections, Traffic, or an Officer in the U.S. services, never—ever—ever—turn them down if they want to get to know you.”

  “And why is that?”

  “Because a playa get parking tickets, could end up in jail, get a moving violation, or end up in a war.” He then did his funny laugh and yelled, “Playa-playa.”

  I found Cashmere amusing and he made my days go by quickly. As we went through the Lincoln Tunnel, he said, “We going to the mall. I had other plans, but I cancelled. Got a lady who loves her baby, and instead of taking her, I’ma take you and drive her crazy.”

  “How you gonna leave her stranded like that?” I asked in defense of the mysterious woman.

  He shook his head and then looked at me like I was an alien. “Picture this, playa. She all dressed up and I tell her I’m on my way. Three hours go by and I still don’t show up. She sitting in her Town House all alone. What she thinking about? Me! That’s what. First she wonder where I’m at. Then she starts to worry. Then she get mad and tell herself she hate me, and since love and hate is the same emotions, you know what happens then, playa?” I didn’t have a chance to answer, “She gonna take that out on me in the bed. For five hours I was on her mind and by the end of the night I will never come off. In one day I taught her patience, to accept what I do, and when I do wrong, I’ma make it right in the end. Playa, playa.” Marvin Gaye was playing by the time he noticed my ring. “You done got hitched, playa?” he asked, while doing his squeaky laugh.

  “Nah, Red picked it up and wanted me to have it,” I answered, trying to make light of the situation.

  “Ouuu wheee, playa. You won’t be able to keep them away now. And Red? Man I would probably marry her for real. A brother need to know that if he ever go broke, he can count on his woman to get him back on his feet. Red can do that a hundred ways over night. You must be the bomb player, because once they try Crack, they never come back. So for you to have her like that, I know you meant to be the last of the Mohegan’s.”

  We took the New Jersey turnpike north to route 17, and then coasted into the town of Paramus. When we stepped out of the car, and walked into the parking lot, women were whistling and calling out to us. That whole experience was all new to me. In Midtown I was Johnny Hustle. Outside of there, I felt like regular John. I pulled myself together and Yoda’s voice said, “Action,” in my head.

  During our walk through the parking lot, Cashmere stopped in front of a brand new, olive green, big-body Lexus. He looked at the satin bow around the rearview mirror, touched the car with his finger and said, “Sssss hot. It’s duck season, playa,” and he walked away.

  When we stepped through the door of the shopping center, Cashmere walked in and saw all the women shoppers. At the top of his voice yelled, “I’m here!”

  All eyes were on him. With every step he took, he danced. I didn’t know if he was just having fun, but I thought he was being a clown, so I asked, “What’s that all about?”

  “Man, you talk like a lame. What gets more attention, a chicken or a peacock?”

  I thought for a second and said, “I guess a peacock?”

  He did a two step, and while spinning, he said, “Of course a peacock. With all the colors and beautiful feathers? People gets mesmerized and ignore all the other birds. A chicken only good when you hungry, and if it ain’t cooked, it’s a waste of time. Playa, I’m advertising for the right one to choose me, so watch my feathers and beautiful colors.”

  I knew I was risking another reprimand, but I asked, “Yo Cashmere, you don’t think that’s a little arrogant?”

  He tucked both of his hands behind his waist and under his open coat. “If ignorance is bliss? Then arrogance is ecstasy, playa.” I surrendered.

  The first store we stopped in, which I couldn’t comprehend, was Victoria’s Secret. I followed Cashmere as he walked in and spotted the most elegant Black woman. After just a few words in her ear, he was helping her pick out negligees. He made her promise that he would be able to see her wear them. She had to be over fifty, but when she pulled out her wallet, I started putting the pieces together. Platinum and gold cards lined her case, and tucked in the side was a neat wad of cash. Cashmere walked and talked with her while she paid for the things he selected. When they walked past me, exiting the store, he said, “Playa, I’ll be right with you,” and they headed in the direction of a men’s shoe store.

  I waited outside for Cashmere and his lady friend. Ten minutes later the new couple walked out of the store. One of Cashmere’s hands was around the woman’s waist, and the other hand held a plastic bag with a shoebox in it. Mesmerized by his words, the woman toyed with the keys to a Lexus.
When their conversation was over, she tried to kiss Cashmere on the cheek and he said, “Baby, I don’t do that. You take care of that withdrawal from the bank, and I’ll see you later.” He quickly scanned her from head to toe. She smiled at him. “Go on, Mama—with your fine self.”

  Blushing couldn’t describe the look on her face. When she walked away, he did his dance. I shook my head and said, “Man, that woman is damn near twice your age.”

  He stopped short, rocked down from side-to-side, and squatted down to the floor. While shaking his hips from left to right, he came back up. “You got a lot to learn. The older they get, the less they get.” He started his dance again. “And with a simple touch, they get oh, so wet. Can you imagine, playa, how long it’s been since she’s been with a man? These lames don’t realize that these older women got everything in they life except a good man. Older ladies know what they want, and they don’t care about the price. They know life is too short to be playing games, and a playa like me, just can’t discriminate.”

  He opened the shoebox. “How you like these six hundred dollar gators playa? And I just got here. Playa—playa!”

  We walked around the mall with all eyes on us. Cashmere schooled me on the best clothes to buy. He then stopped and looked over the frames of his glasses. ”You like sports, Johnny?”

  I thought about the addiction I had for boxing and basketball back when I was a square. “Don’t every man?”

  Cashmere smoothed out the hairs on his chin. “What sports fans lack in they life is intrigue. For a healthy man to fall victim to games is ‘cause something in it prods his imagination. He looks for actors in the drama of a sport to pull him out of the pain of his sorry ass life. For playa’s like you and me, women ain’t no game, and a playa’s life don’t make no couch potatoes. Work hard, play to win, and leave them games with balls alone.”

  I felt a transformation take place. I knew I was a natural thief. I had more money than most, but the one thing I was lacking was the full confidence Cashmere had. Instantly, it became my duty to prove to myself that I could win with all women.