by Zach Tate
Her head went under the water. She took me into her mouth and sucked me hungrily. She stroked me when she came up for air. “I like Renee. She’s mature. I told her you and I have a special understanding. If you like her then we can be cool. As long as she knows who’s boss. She’ll be here tomorrow, so give me all of mine today.”
At the time, I didn’t think that there were any women on this Earth like Red. I slid my back down in the tub, raised Red over my head, positioned her wetness close to my face, and I took her exactly where she wanted to be.
$$$
The next morning Renee came to the suite. The three of us went to the middle of the square together. I wore a New York Knicks suede jacket with orange leather sleeves. I also had on a Knicks sweatshirt, a pair of jeans, and a pair of Nike boots. Red had on jeans, red Reeboks, an oversized blue Polo sweater, and a white full-length coat. We laughed all morning about dressing like we were still in the ‘hood. Renee’s outfit stuck out like a sore thumb; it made it hard for me to concentrate. She had on black horse riding boots and a pair of black riding pants with the pads on the inner thigh. The tight pants had her perfect ass hypnotizing men. The crowd wondered who she was.
Marcy and Elexus showed up, and I saw Snow across the street peeping from the corner. As Money Russ and his crew walked our way, Roxy and Joy came from the downtown side of Broadway. When I looked over, Brave Dave was limping around 43rd Street on Seventh. Officer’s Vance and Jackson slowly drove by the crowd. Since it was the day all the hustlers came out, they were probably looking for Yoda.
“Boy, you going down today. Cause if the cops don’t get you, Green Eyes will,” Money Russ announced. “Let’s make this quick, I got things to do.”
“Hold on, hold on, we gonna make this fair. Cause if they digging pockets, I’m a pick for Green Eyes,” said Brave Dave, limping his way over.
“Okay then gentlemen, I’ll explain how this is going to go,” Red said, without asking Russ. “Money Russ will pick the vics for you, Johnny. And Dave will pick the vics for Green Eyes. This isn’t about how much money at the end. It’s about finesse, class, and who doesn’t alert the police. You have three vics each. Money Russ, since you’re the so-called king, the first choice goes to Dave.”
Dave looked out into the sea of pedestrians who were walking up and down Times Square. He pointed to a man that had a giant size print in his pants. The man had his hand firmly on the money in his pocket. That was a hard vic to catch, but Green Eyes was a pro. He took off while the crowd watched.
As the mark strolled towards us down Broadway, Green Eyes walked right past him. He then turned around and gave a hard upward yank on the man’s elbow. The man’s hand and the money in his pocket came flying out. It was a large roll wrapped in rubber bands. Green Eyes caught it in midair and took flight. The crowd roared and the victim didn’t know if he should watch us, or go chase after the man who just robbed him.
Green Eyes blended his way a few stores down to Nathan Frank’s. As the mark walked around looking for him, he was right in front of the victim’s face eating a hot dog.
Russ butted in. “You’re up.” He then pointed to another man who was wearing jeans and said, “That one there.”
“Hell no,” Dave and Red said in unison. “You never get a vic with jeans,” Red protested to Russ. Even though it was true, I was off to get the money.
I slid my jacket and hat off. I then ran across Broadway. Instantly, I saw the face of an undercover cop that Yoda pointed out to me when we sat in front of the precinct. I quickly readjusted my plans, aiming to show what I learned from day one.
I dipped into a souvenir shop, and slipped on a red I love N.Y. sweatshirt. Over that shirt I slipped on a bright orange one with a pair of shades to match. With the three layers of shirts on, I had two pairs of shades in my pocket.
I walked by the man, who wore jeans and a blazer as he passed Arby’s restaurant. A scaffold shaded the pedestrians on the sidewalk and crunched them together. I stuck my hand in his right pocket with the quickness of a jab. Feeling the money, I quickly pulled it out. The vic turned in shock, I slowly walked backwards, out of his way while blending in the Times Square crowd. My feet didn’t stop moving until I reached the bookstore. Behind the romance section, I threw off the shades and shirt. When I came back out of the store I had a different style of shades on.
I headed in the direction of the man, who was holding his pocket together and said, “Excuse me, sir? Are you okay?”
“No. This—this—animal!” he yelled. “Just pulled some change out of my pocket. Thank God I had all my money in my blazer pocket.”
Quickly I turned my back on him and slipped away. I then spun around and increased my speed. As soon as his head turned to look behind him, I reached into his blazer pocket. I reached in, found the coil of bills, and moved my hands so fast that I ripped his pocket.
I picked up my pace. Walking fast uptown towards the Marriott. Like Yoda taught me, I felt for the footsteps behind me. I listened for someone identifying me, and then I blended, turned around, and walked backwards around the corner. When I peeked back around the corner, the man was still standing there holding his face in shock. I looked across the street and saw the crowd going wild. I caught the same vic twice on one street. I was either high off of the crowd, or the competition made me extra brave.
I slid off the other shirt and the hat. I dropped the glasses on the floor, ran across the street, and sprinted down Broadway. The vic was across the street looking for me. When I reached the crowd, I dropped the cash on floor. Everybody congratulated me, but I put on my original Knicks outfit and announced, “I’m not finished yet.”
I reached the corner of 43rd and Seventh. I crossed the street, walked back up to the man, changed to my Trinidadian accent, and said, “Boss, you look like you inna distress? Mek me walk you over to de rass mini-precinct right deer pon Faghty Second Street.”
The man walked with me. “I was going to pay rent in cash until a Black savage came along and robbed me of my fifty-five hundred-dollars.”
“It’s rough out here. You have to be careful,” I consoled him.
I looked over to the crowd and winked, causing pandemonium. While thanking me for giving him assistance, the mark told me he wished all Black men were like me. I thanked him for his compliment and delivered him to the police, hoping his wish never came true.
When I returned to the square, Green Eyes was up, but he threw his towel in and walked away. Money Russ tried to manhandle him, but he pushed him back and said, “Handle your own beef. I’m not going to jail for you. I’m out.”
The crowd lost it. Russ’ face was beet red from embarrassment. His crew was falling apart right in front of his eyes. Baldie looked at me, then at Green Eyes leaving. He yelled, “Yo, Green Eyes, hold up,” and he abandoned ship.
Brave Dave had a tear in his eye. “Boy, you did it better than I ever could have, bruh.” I knew it had been a long time since he felt pride. I was feeling my oats. Once I saw Renee rooting for me, my ego was tipping.
“Russ you washed up. Your crew is gone. Just throw in the towel and crown me king,” I announced.
“Lame, if it wasn’t tradition to do this petty stuff, I wouldn’t even be here. You could never see me in the long con. I stack too much paper to be wasting my time with this petty shit.” He looked at the crowd, and then at me, and announced, “That’s it. We gonna end this today. Meet me here in an hour. I’m going for the crown. We going over to Grand Central Station, and we see then if winner takes all.”
It was on and popping. I lasted longer than I thought I could. I only had to get through Russ.
$$$
When I stepped into the suite, Red, Renee, Joy, and Roxy were there. The phone was ringing, but the women were too busy getting to know each other to answer it. I knew then that my hands would forever be full.
Sharieff was on the line. He told me that he had a job for Webb and Jason to do. It was over at an oil truck company in the Bronx. H
e wanted them to rob the payroll. He said it was an easy $30,000 for each of us. I dropped the plunger and placed the call to my nephew. I gave him the address as he screamed at me about talking business on the phone. When I was done I hung up. If he and Jason did the job, I would get paid. If they didn’t, it didn’t matter. The crown was on my mind.
The suite was alive and jumping. Red showed Renee where my suits and shoes were, Roxy prepared my shower in the master bathroom, and Joy ordered food before asking me a million “daddy” questions. They were getting along fine. That was all I needed; I already felt like royalty.
$$$
I showed up to the next challenge wearing a wool suit. Money Russ was there waiting for me. The diamond-encrusted crown was on the ground in the middle of Times Square. A larger crowd of hustlers and squares had gathered around to view its beauty.
“Let’s leave this right here, ‘cause later on, this is leaving with me,” came from Money Russ.
“Whatever man,” I said, with my mind focused on my ladies.
Joy and Roxy wished me good luck. Roxy was about to take Joy back downtown in her brand new Nissan Maxima, but Roxy stopped short. She pulled me to the side and put my hand on her stomach. “Feel that? Now you gotta win. You know you the only man that go up in me raw, so win ‘cause you might have a little prince on the way.” I was lost for words. I was going to be a father. Like a true hustler, Roxy said, “I’m going down to the Ave for an hour—turn a few tricks and spread the word about the house. Now that we have more mouths to feed, we gonna need business to pick up.” She kissed me on the lips and walked away. I wanted to stop her, but my mind was stuck on winning the crown and owning a million dollars.
Grand Central Terminal was packed with noon travelers. The expansive marble tundra is the size of two football fields. Train tracks were located in each direction, like little mouse holes in the floor paneling of a home. Massive antique chandeliers from the 1800’s hung from the ceiling. Due to the millions of travelers that crossed the terminal daily, the area is one of the busiest places on earth.
Russ said, “I’m gonna make this real quick. The poe-lease is crawling all over the place. We pick a track on the blind, and when the track is unloading we wrack up on pocket stings. The man who has the most wallets after we done, that’s the man that walks away with the crown.”
“You up to old tricks again, huh Russ? You know that’s the one thing you always beat everybody on,” Red screamed.
Renee pulled me to the side. “Johnny, it’s not hard. The pockets come right to you. You just have to know how to pull it in motion with the movement of the mark. Just breathe easy and let your hands travel above your waist. Your eyes will see it, and your hands will grab it. Just don’t panic if the movement doesn’t go your way. Hold on tight, and the mark will do the rest for you.”
Red stepped up. “Sugar, you’re the man. You never do the inside pocket, but today is your day. Look for open jackets. Find a way to trip into it. Bounce off of one mark and then trip into the other, moving your hands too fast for them to feel it. Just act like you’re pulling my panties off tonight, and I promise to make this a night you’ll remember.”
I was set and ready to go. Russ said, “Lame, here comes a crowd now. I’ll save you the trouble and show you how it’s done,” and he rushed off.
The afternoon crowd of commuters fled out of the terminal. Russ walked directly into the crowd of luggage carriers. He then turned his back to the oncoming crowd. After the first person bumped into him, he spun. As the crowd bounced him around, his hands moved up and down. In and out of pockets they went. Inside pockets, side pockets, back pockets, and in big bags. He stuffed the wallets into his waist and inside pocket. The crowd of hustlers looked on in amazement. I felt like there was no way I could top him.
Russ returned when the crowd from the train was gone. He walked over to Brave Dave and dropped nineteen wallets. The small crowd of hustlers exploded in praise while avoiding the uniformed officers that roamed the terminal. I hung my head in defeat. Red picked up on my fear and announced to the crowd, “I’ll go for him.”
“You can’t go for him. This is his challenge. He know that he gotta go in the blind,” Russ argued.
“If your corny ass students can go for you, then why can’t I go for him? Let’s take a vote,” Red hopefully pleaded.
“Let him be a man and hustle on his own,” someone shouted from the crowd and was met with cheers.
The heckler was right. It was my fight to fight. And since I had made it that far, I knew what I had to do.
“Go in the blind lame or just give me that half a mill now,” Russ bragged.
In the blind—in the blind. Money Russ’ words were ringing in my ear. While the crowd argued my fate amongst themselves, I took fate into my own hands.
A familiar hustler from the Deuce was walking by with a pair of dark shades on. He had a Feed The Blind sign hanging from around his neck. I walked away from the crowd of hustlers, and handed the man a fifty dollar bill. I borrowed his glasses, his walking stick, and his sign. A hush fell over the crowd of hustlers. The same heckler from the crowd yelled out, “What the hell are you doing? You can’t panhandle to win.”
The crowd erupted in laughter, getting the attention of a uniformed police officer. As they all looked on, a group of passengers entered the tundra, coming up a row of escalators. With no time to waste, I decided to go down the escalator as they were coming up.
“Excuse me. Sorry. Pardon me. Excuse me. I’m blind and I just can’t see,” I yelled as I picked the pockets of every one I bumped into while descending the upward stairs. The people on the escalator naturally turned to move out of my way. The angles of their bodies made it easier to pull their wallets. My pants were stuffed, and my inner pockets where bulging. Unbeknownst to me, the officers’ in blue were watching my moves.
Renee saw the officers heading for me, so she reacted. She rushed down the escalators and jumped, sending my body down to the hard marble floor, and had the cuffs on me before I knew what happened.
“I saw the whole thing. Do you need any assistance?” asked the officer in blue, speaking into his radio while his partner lusted off of Renee’s tight body.
Renee took a deep breath, flashed her badge, and in an authoritative voice, said, “Yeah, buddy, this is my collar. Straight from One Police Plaza. We’ve been tracking this scumbag for weeks.” She stopped short and said to the officers. “What I need you to do, is stay right here in this spot. Just in case any of the victims or his friends come back this way. I’ll be down at the station.”
“Sure, ma’am. We’ll get the people moving,” the rookies said.
Renee roughed me up while coming back up the escalators. She did it so well that I didn’t know if she was real or faking. When I passed the crowd of Money Russ and the crew, they had their mouths wide open. I whispered, “Money Russ, you ain’t the only one that can use the police. Twenty-three. Twenty-three wallets. That makes me the king of Times Square.” I then winked at him and said, “Come to the square and see for yourself.”
Red walked in front of Renee. She told the crowd of spectators to move out of her way, as if she was Renee’s back up. Renee walked in the middle of 42nd Street, flashed her badge at an on coming yellow cab and yelled, “Stop the car.”
They sandwiched me in the back of the taxi like they were an undercover team. When the taxi pulled off, heading down 42nd Street, Renee said, “You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say or do can be held against you in a court of law.” Tears ran down her gorgeous face. “You have the right to an attorney—” She took a few breaths like she was really going to arrest me, and the she asked herself, “What the hell am I doing?” She reached behind me and took off the cuffs. I kissed her with all I had to offer and she accepted my appreciation.
There it was; I was a natural born hustler. We reached the square and waited for the crowd of hustlers to show up. I had all the wallets stacked on the ground. Once the tally was do
ne and confirmed by the vets, I reached for the crown.
“Lame ass petty hustler,” Money Russ complained.
The crowd applauded as Red slid the crown on my head. I made it. I was a winner, and the whole hustling world was there to see it. That’s when Money Russ reminded me that I was a millionaire.
“Come on lame, let me tell Proverb that you won.”
With my crown in my hand, and my two ladies at my side. I crossed Broadway and headed towards my big payday. When we got closer to Proverb’s shop, I saw something that I never saw before.
“What the fuck is this about?” Money Russ asked in frustration.
Proverb’s store was closed. While we were across town, someone removed the signs from his shop. It looked like it was never there.
“John-knee Hausel,” I heard an Asian man next to me ask. He looked like he was a hundred years old. He was holding a white envelope in his hands.
“Yeah, that’s me,” I said with hesitation.
He handed me the envelope. I took it from him. Then I heard Red say, “Oh yeah, a long con.” Her eyes turned to slits. “I should have thought of something like this.”
I didn’t catch on, but I opened the envelope and it all came to me.
Foolio:
Trust no one. There are seven elements to a con. The main agenda is making the mark comfortable and allowing his own greed to get the best of him. I told you before, men are important only in relation to other men, based on their usefulness in the service they provide. Unless you understand that completely, you ain’t gone get nothing but one form of misery or another. I need you to look beyond the obvious. Never take things on face value.