by Anthology
Damien approached her slowly, drawing out the tension. Gwen wanted to squirm under his scrutiny, but she didn’t dare move again. He gently touched the curve of the whip to her face, tracing it down her cheek before bringing it to rest just under her chin. He applied slight pressure, forcing her face upward so that she had no choice but to meet his eye.
“I don’t think I’ve ever told you,” he began softly, “I grew up on a farm in Georgia. Of course, you would know that if you’d allowed me to talk to you. Then maybe you would have had some warning.”
Gwen trembled under his hard stare, but he continued on. “You see, I’ve found that taming a difficult sub is much like training a horse. You just have to break down her walls.”
A strangled whine escaped Gwen at his words, but he continued to talk over her.
“And I’m going to break through your defenses, Gwen. I’m going to strip you bare. You will submit to me fully tonight. I won’t stop until you do.”
She swallowed hard as he released her from his stare, circling around behind her and out of her line of sight. She heard the sound of the whip cutting through the air before it flicked against the sensitive skin where her ass met her thighs. Gwen screamed as it burned her, like the lick of a flame. He allowed her no time to absorb the pain, and fire bloomed on her other thigh, perfectly mirroring the first blow.
This time her cry mingled with a sob as the pain assaulted her. Forgetting her predicament, she tried to flinch away. But she only inflicted more torture on herself as the clamps pulled on her nipples cruelly. Pain assailed her, but at the same time her pussy continued to pulse madly as Damien’s utter dominance over her body and mind overwhelmed her. The sweet mix of agony and ecstasy wiped any lingering thoughts and all worries from her mind. There were only the sensations pervading her body. And Damien’s will, his complete control over her. She was falling down the well again, dropping faster and faster until she reached free fall. Then she wasn’t falling; she was floating. Her entire body went limp against the bench as she ceased fighting the pain that Damien was inflicting. She felt the whip kiss her thigh for a third time, but this time she only let out a low moan.
Gwen was dimly aware of a new sharp pain as Damien removed the clamps from her nipples, but his gentle fingers quickly soothed it as he tenderly rubbed the ache away.
His touch left her breasts, and something pressed against her lips.
“Open,” his voice commanded. She complied without thinking. Something thin and pliable was shoved between her teeth: the whip. It was pulled back sharply, pressing into her mouth as Damien gripped both ends of it. Her back arched, forcing her ass to lift, offering it to Damien.
He quickly sheathed himself in a condom, and then his cock easily slid between her wet folds. As he pressed into her, he pulled back on the whip, forcing her body back against him. He began to drive into her, tugging on the whip with each thrust, penetrating her deeply as he pulled her back toward him.
Gwen was lost. There was nothing but Damien’s will, his control. She felt her muscles contracting around him, and her orgasm propelled her impossibly higher. She floated in sweetest bliss, drinking it in, drowning in it. Some distant part of her brain heard Damien groan as he came, and she was flooded with satisfaction at knowing that she had pleased him.
Regret nipped at her as he withdrew from her, but she was unable to voice any protest. The whip was gently pulled from between her teeth. Damien lifted her up, and she snuggled into his strong chest, breathing in his clean scent. She sighed in satisfaction as he murmured reassuring words and tenderly stroked her hair.
“Gwen?” His voice floated down to her.
“Mmm?” she answered vaguely.
“Open your eyes and look at me,” he ordered. Gwen did as he said, her eyes fluttering open to meet his soft gaze. “Why wouldn’t you trust me before? Why did you try so hard to resist?”
Something in her mind flinched away from his question, unwilling to answer.
“You’re safe with me,” he said gently, reassuringly. “You can tell me.”
“You…” She began, her words slurring slightly as she fought to force her tongue to work. Damien had asked her a question, and she had to answer him. “You’ll hurt me. Just like him.”
Damien hugged her to him tightly. “Who hurt you, Gwen?” His voice was calm, but it held a slight edge of anger.
Gwen blinked a few times as unease stirred in her belly. She didn’t want to remember, didn’t want to face the pain. But Damien was looking down at her, an expectant eyebrow quirked. He clearly wouldn’t tolerate her reticence.
“My Dom,” she finally admitted.
“He beat you?” he asked, his arms tightening around her as his muscles corded with suppressed anger.
“No. No, he…” Tears formed in her eyes. She didn’t like thinking about this. Her high was dissipating in the wake of the painful memories. “He betrayed me,” she finally whispered.
Damien cupped her face in his hand, tracing his thumb across her cheekbone to wipe away her tears. “I would never do that to you, Gwen. I would never betray you; I could never hurt you,” he said, a promise in his voice.
But he had opened the floodgates. He’d made good on his promise; he had stripped her and exposed her ravaged heart. And now it was more than just her body that felt naked before Damien. Just as she’d feared, he had ripped her open, had laid bare her soul. And it hurt.
She dropped fast, the last vestiges of bliss leaving her. She stiffened in Damien’s arms. Why had she let him do this to her? Hadn’t she known how this would end all along? She struggled against him, but he held her fast.
“Let me go,” she demanded shakily.
“Gwen,” he said sternly, maintaining his grip, “I just want to help you.”
“You’re not helping me,” she hissed.
“Gwen, I—”
“You’re hurting me!” she half-shouted at him, suddenly more angry than sad. Anger was more comfortable than pain. Her chest heaved as sobs wracked her body, but still Damien refused to release her.
“You’re dropping. And I’m not letting you go when you’re in this state.” His eyes gleamed with ferocity; he wasn’t going to give in.
“Red.” She spat the word at him like a curse.
Damien’s eyes widened in surprise, his jaw going slack. Then his brow furrowed, angry lines appearing around his eyes and mouth.
But mercifully, he released her. She stood on shaky legs, and he reached out to steady her. She stumbled away from him, fearful that if he touched her again she would lose her resolve.
His hands dropped, clenching to fists at his sides. “This is a mistake, Gwen,” he told her, his voice tight with suppressed worry.
Gwen said nothing. She needed to get out of there, to get away from his commanding voice and his dark glare. She turned from him sharply and bent to gather up her clothes. Desperate to escape, she half-ran out into the darkness, naked.
When she reached her car, she retrieved her spare key from beneath the hood; she didn’t want to face the club patrons if she returned for her purse. She popped the lock and quickly tugged on a sundress that she’d worn to drive to work. Once she was covered, she flung herself into the driver’s seat. She tore down the long drive, anxious to put as much distance between herself and Damien as possible.
But the farther she got from him, the more her heart ached.
* * *
Gwen’s eyes burned, but she had no more tears to shed. She hadn’t slept all night, and now her apartment was brightening as dawn approached. She’d been angry with Damien at first, resentful at how he had broken her down and manipulated her into making herself vulnerable. Then anger had given way to grief as her ex-Dom’s betrayal played across her mind over and over again.
And now Damien had hurt her, too.
But not like Tom did, a small voice within her whispered. He didn’t betray you.
“Gwen, I just want to help you,” he’d said.
But he hadn�
��t helped her. Had he? Dredging up those memories had only caused her pain.
“I would never do that to you, Gwen. I would never betray you; I could never hurt you.”
No, she admitted to herself. He hadn’t hurt her. It was her memories that cut at her like a knife. All Damien had done was force her to face them. She had kept the pain buried for so long, putting walls around her heart to hold it in. But, she realized, in doing so, she had never allowed herself to heal. Blocking it off had been easier than facing what had happened.
But she knew she couldn’t face it alone. It might be the crack of dawn, but she needed him. She grabbed up her cell phone and dialed. It rang once.
“Gwen,” his voice was just as ragged as her own; he clearly hadn’t slept much either.
“Damien,” she said his name like it was her lifeline. “I need to see you.”
He was at her apartment within fifteen minutes. When she opened the door to admit him, they stood there awkwardly for a few moments, staring at each other apprehensively. Then Damien held his arms out, and she flung herself into his embrace. She clung to him tightly, taking comfort in the feeling of his strong arms around her, supporting her. Although she had no more tears to cry, her chest heaved as a small, relieved sob escaped her.
“I’m sorry,” Damien said softly. “It’s just…” He hesitated. “I didn’t know another way to get through to you.”
“It’s okay,” Gwen reassured him.
“No. It was inexcusable of me to cause you pain like that,” he insisted. “I never should have pushed you. I knew that there was a reason that you put up such a brave front, and it wasn’t right for me to force my way in like that. I just… That’s how I am. I don’t know another way to be.” He drew back from her so he could meet her eye, but he kept his hands around her waist, as though unwilling to break contact. “But if that’s not what you need, then tell me how to be.” He looked down at her, an intensity burning in his eyes that she had never seen before. It was more than just lust. It was… yearning?
It seemed that the unyielding Dom could bend after all. And Gwen found great comfort in that knowledge. But even so, she realized that he had done exactly what she needed: he had freed her from the weight of her armor, revealing her true self for the first time in more than a year. And that self might be broken now, but she felt that Damien could help her mend it.
“Like this,” she whispered, touching her hand to his cheek. “I need you to be like you.”
His eyes widened, staring down at her in wonder. Then his hand grasped her nape, pulling her up into him as he bent down to kiss her. Despite the intensity with which he held her, his kiss was gentle, reassuring. They lingered there in the doorway for long minutes, entwined around one another in a close embrace.
Someone cleared their throat pointedly nearby, breaking into their private moment. Gwen looked over to see her elderly neighbor shaking her head at the spectacle they were making.
Damien let out a deep, rumbling chuckle. “Shall we get a room?” he asked, his eyes dancing playfully.
Gwen grinned back at him, and for the first time in a long time, it didn’t feel forced. “I suppose we should,” she said, stepping back to admit him. He held her hand as she led him into the living room. It seemed he needed her touch as much as she needed his. When he was situated on the couch beside her, she took a deep breath, gathering her courage.
“I want to tell you everything,” she said boldly.
“You don’t have to—”
Gwen held up a hand, cutting him off. “I need to tell you everything,” she corrected herself.
Damien studied her for a moment, then nodded. He didn’t interrupt her again, and Gwen was glad of it. Now that she had started, she didn’t want to stop. She had to voice her pain, had to let her words draw it from her like poison being sucked out of a wound.
“His name was Tom. We’d been dating for about six months. He was my first real Dom. I agreed to be his submissive, allowing him to claim me as his own so that no other Dom could have me.” Gwen grimaced at the memory. “But apparently the same standard didn’t apply to him, although he never told me that. One night I was working at Dark Grove, only when I went to clear up in the dungeon, he was balls-deep in some other woman. He was fucking her in front of everyone. He humiliated me in front of everyone.”
Her eyes stung, but no tears came. “After that, I told myself that I was done with BDSM. I couldn’t handle another betrayal, couldn’t leave myself open to that kind of pain ever again.” It had been so much worse than when her vanilla boyfriend had cheated on her in college. Putting herself in a submissive position—giving herself to Tom completely—had made her more vulnerable than she’d imagined possible.
There was a hard lump in her throat, and she found that she couldn’t say any more.
Damien’s long finger hooked under her chin, forcing her head to lift so that she was facing him. His eyes were gentle, but his lips were taut with suppressed anger. “You didn’t deserve that, Gwen. I can’t believe that bastard—” He stopped himself, forcing his fists to unclench with a visible effort. “I’m sorry for what he did to you. But don’t judge every Dom by his actions. If he didn’t want to be exclusive, he should have been honest with you. Not everyone is like that. I’m not like that. I swear to you. You can trust me.”
“I know,” she whispered. “And I’m sorry for shutting you out for so long. I know that you were just trying to help. And you have. More than you know.” Gwen found that the ache in her chest was gone, replaced by a glowing warmth. Finally admitting how affected she had been by what had happened to her—both to Damien and to herself—had been cathartic. She felt purged of the pain that she had carried for so long.
Exhaustion suddenly crashed down on her, and she couldn’t stifle a yawn. Damien gave her a small smile and ruffled her hair affectionately. “It looks like someone could use some sleep, little sub.”
Gwen studied him, noticing that his usually carefully-styled hair was mussed, and there were dark circles under his eyes. “I don’t think I’m the only one.”
She knew that she needed to get some rest if she had any hope of staying awake at work that night, but she couldn’t bear the thought of Damien leaving her. “Stay with me?” she asked softly.
“You don’t have to ask. I won’t leave you, Gwen,” he promised.
He grasped her hips and lifted her up off the couch so that he could stretch out his legs. When he was lying down, he positioned her so she was atop him, her head tucked beneath his chin. He stroked her hair tenderly, and she basked in the comfort of his touch. Sighing contentedly, she fell into a deep sleep.
* * *
“Shit!” Gwen wanted to stay snuggled up against Damien forever, but one glance at the clock told her that she was going to be late for her shift at The Lighthouse if she didn’t get a move on. Her curse roused Damien. She shifted her weight to move off him, but his hand snaked around her waist, holding her against him. She could feel him growing hard against her belly.
“Where do you think you’re going, little sub?” he asked.
She peered into his lust-filled eyes regretfully. “I’m really sorry, but I have to go to work,” she said apologetically.
“Call in sick,” he ordered, grinding his hips up against her so that she could feel the full length of his erection.
Gwen bit her lip, torn between duty and desire. “I really can’t,” she said finally. “I’m sorry.”
Damien’s lustful expression softened. “It’s okay. I understand.” He pushed himself upright, dragging Gwen along with him. “I guess that’s my cue to leave, then.”
They stood, and Gwen walked him to the door. Before she could open it, he grabbed her shoulders and shoved her up against the wall. His mouth came down on hers, his tongue taking her, making her knees go weak as she melted for him. But soon, too soon for her taste, he pulled away, leaving her wanting.
“When will I see you again, sub?” he asked, smiling down at her.<
br />
“Ummm,” she said stupidly, struggling to gather her thoughts. “I have a shift at Dark Grove tomorrow night. I start at eight. I’ll see you there?”
He grinned. “Excellent,” he said before releasing her.
As he turned for the door, Gwen blurted out without thinking, “I’ll miss you.”
She regretted the words instantly, embarrassed. But when Damien faced her, his eyes were filled with the same wondrous light that she had seen earlier. “I’ll miss you too, sub,” he breathed. He bent to kiss her, softly this time, his lips caressing hers. Gwen reveled in it for long moments, but eventually she pressed her hands against his chest, pulling away from him reluctantly.
“You had better go,” she whispered. “Otherwise I’ll never make it to work.”
He gazed down at her, his expression longing. “All right,” he said, finally releasing her. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” He planted one last swift kiss on her forehead, and then he was gone.
Gwen couldn’t stop grinning as she got ready for her shift.
* * *
“You seem awfully cheery tonight,” Connor remarked as they were wiping down the bar for the night. “I mean, cheerier than usual. What’s the good news?”
“What?” Gwen asked. Her mind had been elsewhere, memories of her time in the stables with Damien occupying her thoughts. She hadn’t even realized that she had been humming happily. “Oh,” she said, called back to the present. “I just finally got a decent night of sleep, that’s all.” It wasn’t a total lie; she had just gotten the best sleep in longer than she could recall.
Connor gave her an easy smile. “Well, I’m glad to see you so happy.” Unexpectedly, he placed his hand atop hers, stilling her attempts to clean the bar. Gwen looked up at him in surprise. “Listen,” he said, his expression apprehensive. “While you’re in a good mood, there’s something I want to ask you.”