by Sy Walker
He seemed to feel the same way. After they left the diner, they lingered under the moonlit sky in front of his motorcycle, quietly contemplating the strangeness of being so near to each other once again.
“Where should I drop you off?” Zak asked finally, after riding around in silence for a couple of blocks. They were both enjoying the peaceful night air and he hadn't wanted to ruin that. “I don't really know where your sister lives these days. I don't make it my business to stalk people the way some small towners seem to do.”
“Well, you could take me to the mechanic's, I can pay for them to tow the car and then call my sister to pick me up.”
“All right,” he said with a smile. They lingered for another couple of seconds, neither of them wanting to ruin the still perfection of the space between them.
Finally, he mounted the bike, waiting patiently for her to sit behind him. She did, wrapping her arms intimately around his waist. She felt him tense up at her touch and then relax into it, sighing softly before he started his bike and took off down the road.
As he drove, the air felt cool and soothing on her hot skin. She laid her head heavily on his back, imagining how different her life might have been if she had just stayed put in her rural hometown and allowed him to marry her and make her the happiest housewife on the block. It just wasn't a fate she could envision for herself. Although it seemed to work well for her sister, she just didn't think that it was what she wanted. It seemed that she was missing something; the urge to settle down with a man and live a normal life that the other girls seemed to share was something that she never had.
But having him right there, holding him tightly, feeling his familiar body so close to hers again made her close her eyes and breathe him in as she thought of how different her life might be. Would they have had their own house? A white picket fence? Dogs and children? The idea seemed absurd, but strangely enough, not unpleasant. But look at him now – there was no way he could balance any kind of home life with the lawless lifestyle he was living. There was no way it was feasible. She would have to get rid of those fanciful thoughts and just focus on the present.
The crisp night air rushed over her body, making the warmth of Zak's even more desirable. She held onto him, squeezing him as if making sure he wasn't a dream and he wouldn't disappear. He held one large hand over hers for one delicious moment before they pulled into the body shop. Zak dismounted, and she couldn't help but notice Zak's jeans, tight against his ass; how they curved into the forbidden V of his crotch. She forced herself to look away, hopping off the bike herself and standing on unsteady legs. The ride had left her feeling a little dizzy.
“Hugo!” Zak called.
A small, balding man that Joy recognized from high school popped out from nowhere.
“Hey Zak,” he said, a little too cheerfully. He must have been afraid, he was eyeing Joy and the motorcycle nervously.
“Listen, this pretty lady's car broke down out on N, do you think you could do a tow?”
“Oh sure Zak, no problem. Anything for an old friend.”
Hugo disappeared into the body shop and Zak turned to Joy.
“What he really means is, I owe you and I know it but let's not talk about it in front of the women folk. It's degrading.”
“Why does he owe you?” Joy asked, suddenly intrigued.
“Let's just say he was messing around with the wrong people and we helped him out. But only because he asked. Wrong place, right time I guess.”
“You mean that little pipsqueak tried brawling?” she asked with a bright, surprised laugh. It brought a grin to Zak's handsome face and she quickly quieted down before Hugo had a chance to come back and wonder what they were talking about.
“Something like that. He was flirting with the wife of one bad fucker.”
“That's pretty bold for someone so...”
“Mouse-ish?”
“Exactly.”
They'd been together a little over two hours and they were already finishing each other's sentences. She sighed up to the moonlight as Hugo returned, carrying a large ring full of keys. They clattered loudly as Joy and Zak exchanged meaningful looks, both of them quietly amused.
“You're going to give it a good look, yeah?” Zak said, squinting at Hugo menacingly.
“Of course, buddy, no problem.”
The too-cheerful smile on Hugo's face made them both flinch, and Joy had to hide behind Zak to keep from revealing the laughter trying to burst onto her face. When they were finally ready to leave, Zak revved the engine and sped off, and she finally crumpled into his back and cracked up. Zak couldn't help but join her, and they drove together, laughing like lunatics under the full moon.
Chapter 6
“Oh wow, the old lookout point,” Joy said breathlessly. She'd never been there on a motorcycle before, and they stared out over the scenery. It looked more beautiful than ever, the tiny town beneath them and the moon bringing an icy glow to the trees and the wildflowers as they perfumed the air with their intoxicating countryside scent. He'd taken a spontaneous turn toward their old favorite destination, now made a hundred times more captivating without the roof of a car to confine them.
“I thought it might be a good night to see the sights,” he said with a wink, hopping off the bike and offering his hand to help her do the same. He suddenly gestured to the sky and she looked up just as a shooting star flashed out of their sights. “Make a wish.”
Joy closed her eyes, thinking hard about what it was that she really wanted. All she knew was that she didn't want this night to end, not the perfection of the sky, the warmth of Zak's body as she embraced it. She couldn't think of a more perfect way to have spent the evening, even though it had started out feeling pretty bad. She wished that the feeling she had then would be able to last forever – or at least visit frequently. It was a peace she had been missing for ten years.
Suddenly, Zak's strong arms were enveloping her from behind, his warm lips sending shivers down her neck as he kissed her gently, savoring every bit of her as if he was afraid she might just disappear from him again. She moaned despite herself as his strong, experienced hands gently rounded the perfect curves of her body, not holding back or apologizing about their desire; just feeling the push and pull of her as she swayed against him in pure bliss. She suddenly felt the pressing of his longing against her backside and inhaled sharply as an overpowering desire to have all of him, right that moment, engulfed her.
She whipped around, and they stared into each other's eyes. His were gentle, but there was something different about them. He was no longer the guy who would take crap from other people, not even her. If she wanted him she'd better tell him. Otherwise he would hit the road. He might even just leave her there, stranded, to teach her a lesson. He was a bad boy now, maybe he would think that it served her right.
But her lips were on his, hot and panting as his tongue slipped inside her mouth, taking control of whatever was left of her self-restraint. He fingered her pleated skirt, a sassy number Kayla had picked out for her the week before, slipping his hands under; cupping her thighs in his big warm hand, expertly pressing all of her buttons until his fingers were damp and he couldn't hold himself back anymore.
With a small growl he unbuttoned her blouse, burying his mouth between her breasts, nibbling and sucking her nipples, holding her steady by the small of her back. Finally he lifted her, carrying her to his bike with one hand as he unbuttoned his jeans with the other. Joy gripped Zak's well-muscled biceps to steady herself as he pulled the panties and skirt down, dropping them onto the ground and plunging inside of her with one swift motion. She cried out with a gasp of shocking pleasure.
His handsome face grinned devilishly at her, sending another jolt of longing through her body as he gripped her ass, laying her over the seat of his bike, totally naked in the cool night air, tracing the curves of her breasts, from the warm area over her heart to her hard, erect nipples, with his fingertips. The gentleness of his touch contrasted with th
e power of his thrusting, and she closed her eyes, gasping as the pleasure overtook her.
“I love you,” she whispered, without meaning to. It was something she hadn't said to any man in the past ten years, and she surprised both of them by saying it. He paused for a moment, a look she couldn't pinpoint scurrying across his face. Then his lips were on hers and they were passionately entangled as he moved inside of her like an expert on her pleasure. Finally, she shuddered hard beneath him, an explosion of immense bliss flooding her body, and she cried out with a long moan. She could feel herself contracting against him as he continued to thrust, until her orgasm inspired his climax.
A sudden eruption, a feeling she'd never had before – she'd always been responsible and used a condom – the hot flooding of her insides with the sweet nectar of Zak's passion; the sensual contact of his body, flesh against flesh on hers, now slipping out, leaving her empty, dripping with hot seed. This was the way sex was supposed to feel, she decided, and allowed herself a moment to relish it before she sat up and looked Zak in the eye as he tucked himself back into his tight jeans and stared intently at her.
She was worried for a brief moment that she had been stupid and reckless, setting herself up to be used and abused. Her eyebrows furrowed and he seemed to understand exactly what she was thinking, because he smiled at her then, reassuringly.
“I love you too,” he said. And in every fiber of her being, she knew it was true.
Chapter 7
The next morning, Joy felt guilty sitting across the table from her innocent young niece and her sister. It was like being a teenager – told time and time again that giving into those temptations was wrong, there would be hellfire and brimstone to answer for if you did – and then finally having the night of your life and having to look into the eyes of the people who, although well-meaning, would have crucified you where you stood if they knew the truth. Only it was a little bit more shameful because the man she had been out with had been an outlaw, and she'd hidden the truth from her sister.
Zak had managed to drop her off just before Kayla and Penny arrived home. She found herself wondering if she owed the truth to her sister because they were sharing a roof, but at the same time she couldn't fathom talking about the experience she had just had, especially not in front of Penny. Or even with Penny in the house. It made her feel guilty.
And so she managed to avoid the topic until her second egg.
“Where's your car?” Kayla asked. She was doing dishes and had noticed it was missing as she gazed out the window.
“It broke down on county road N,” Joy replied.
“Oh really? Why didn't you tell me?” Kayla sounded worried.
“It's all right, I took care of it. I didn't want to worry you, and it seemed trivial. Besides, I was tired last night.”
The last part was very true. Her intense night of passion had left her winded. She wished she could fall asleep in Zak's arms like she had in old times, but it didn't seem like it was in the cards for her to do so any time soon.
“How did you make it back home without your car?” Kayla asked. It was the question Joy had been dreading.
“I got a ride,” she said vaguely.
“From who?” Kayla asked, suddenly a hundred times more curious. She could tell by Joy's evasiveness that it had the scent of forbidden fruit all over it.
“Zak found me,” she answered casually.
“Of course he did,” Kayla said wryly. Joy gave her a grin.
“Shush. Anyway we caught up at the diner and he took me to the body shop then brought me home. It was really nice of him.”
“Well you should probably be careful, he might think you owe him for it. He's not exactly the same nice guy you remember him being.”
Joy shrugged.
“It's not like we're eloping. If he wants me to pay him or something, I will. It's no big deal.”
“All right,” Kayla said, not entirely convinced. She glanced at Penny meaningfully before speaking again. “Hopefully he knows this isn't the kind of place he belongs.”
Joy was suddenly angered by the implication that Zak might hurt Penny, or be unwelcome by her family.
“He just gave me a ride home,” she said coldly. And that was the end of that.
After breakfast Joy headed up to the guest bedroom and flopped onto her bed. Penny came in after her and hopped up with her. Joy smiled despite herself; the child was adorable.
“Were you and mommy fighting?” she asked, her worried blue eyes boring into Joy's.
“No, honey. We were just talking about something serious, that's all. Grown-ups change their voices when things are serious, but it doesn't mean that we're fighting.”
“Zak is the mean motorcycle man!” Penny said, seemingly proud that she had pieced this together downstairs. Joy heaved a heavy sigh, feeling guiltier than ever about her tryst the night before.
“People make bad choices sometimes,” she said. “Even if they are really nice people.”
“Do you think he's nice?” Penny asked, her eyes wide. Any answer she gave Penny might completely change her view of life as a whole, so Joy would have to tread carefully.
“Zak is nice to the people he likes,” she said finally. This seemed to satisfy Penny.
“Is he mean to the people he doesn't like?”
“Yes,” Joy said truthfully. “But don't worry. I don't think he'd ever be mean to you.”
“Why not?”
“Because he likes me. So I think he would like you too.”
This cheered the toddler.
“Okay! I'm going to go play dragons now.”
“Okay.”
And like that she was off, leaving Joy behind with Zak's soft heart on her mind.
Chapter 8
Over the next two weeks, Joy and Zak began meeting at the diner on the weekends when Kayla met with Penny's dad. He picked her up until her car was fixed, and then they would drive themselves. He seemed to know that Kayla no longer trusted him, and tried to avoid her as much as possible. Who could blame her after the things he had done? Kayla had filled Joy in on some of them – gruesome and unbelievable tales though they were, but they must be true because Kayla wasn't prone to exaggeration or rumors. Some things she had even seen herself, like when he beat a man to a bloody pulp at a gas station for disrespecting an elderly woman and nearly knocking her over with his car.
“Yeah but can you blame him? If we had the power we'd do the same thing!”
“I know. A lot of things he has good reason for. He just goes too far.”
Joy couldn't let the stories deter her though, and had him on her mind constantly. She was drunk on him. It was like they were dating again, though they made no official declarations and hadn't said they loved each other again since the first time they'd met in ten years. That could have meant anything, right? It's not like they were exclusive, and she wasn't looking for another bad relationship. She had had enough of those. She even managed to tell Zak about Gordon, who surprisingly enough, Zak had already heard of. His face had hardened and he muttered something under his breath that she thought might have been something along the lines of, “I'll take care of it.”
Zak was always pleased to see her, his handsome face lighting up, his smile wide and welcoming; intoxicating. They would speak for hours, but they hadn't had sex again. He would be a gentleman, sometimes kissing her, but he seemed to be testing the waters, figuring out how far they should go and never totally wrapped up in the moment the way they had been when they first reunited.
Then something strange happened. Joy missed her period.
At first she hadn't noticed, but by the next week she was in a full panic. She drove herself to the doctor's clinic right away, following the routine until they told her for sure that it was as she had feared the most – she was pregnant. Suddenly, the most pleasurable moment in her life to date turned treacherous. They should have used a condom – they shouldn't have acted so rashly. Fortunately she was still free of any venereal di
seases, unless you counted a tiny embryo growing inside of your uterus a disease; which she didn't.
She drove morosely home, sitting heavily on the couch until Kayla returned from a playdate with a neighbor and noticed Joy's pale face.
“What's wrong?” Kayla asked, her face concerned.
“I'm pregnant,” Joy said, and she immediately started to cry. Kayla held her tightly. It had been a relief to finally say it out loud for the first time but it also made it real. And this was not a situation she wanted to be real. She was pregnant with an outlaw's child.