by Sy Walker
“I guess we're not going to find anything more today," Quinn said. His voice was brimming with disappointment. “But at least there is always tomorrow. Something will happen. I will figure it out eventually. I know I will.”
His determination didn't come from a malicious place. He was just very confused. A question was burning in Brandon’s chest and he found himself unable to hold back any longer.
“Why is that you want to find these wolves so badly?" Brandon asked. "You know why we have to for work, but what made you care about wolves in the first place?"
They were marching out of the woods and toward their vehicles. Brandon smelled like the forest now, and Quinn couldn't help but allow his eyes to linger on his chiseled jaw as he turned slightly to meet Quinn's eyes.
“I think everybody deserves somewhere safe to stay. If I can figure out how they work, maybe I can help the rest of the world understand them too. If people aren't so afraid of wolves, they won't be persecuted so unfairly anymore. People have so little regard for what they don't understand. So I want to understand enough for everybody. Maybe that would change the world, at least a little bit."
Brandon had nothing to say to this. He was stunned into silence as Quinn's gorgeous green eyes returned to the path ahead of them. They made it out of the forest in a comfortable silence and each of them walked to their forest service van.
“That's a pretty good reason," Brandon said, climbing into his own vehicle. "Maybe we will have more luck tomorrow."
Quinn smiled at him, a little bit sad and not very hopeful about it.
“These wolves seem a little bit different than the ones back in Montana," he said with a defeated little laugh. “I'm not sure how I can help them. But I'm going to try."
Quinn got into his van and pulled away, leaving Brandon to sit in the parking lot alone. He put his head on the steering wheel and sighed deeply, wondering what in the world he should do.
Chapter 7
Over the next two weeks they were together side-by-side every day. Every day, Quinn left feeling a little bit more intoxicated by Brandon, and Brandon left feeling a little bit more conflicted about keeping his secret from Quinn. If there was any human out there worth telling, it would be him. He was such a gentle and loving soul, completely at ease with the world around him except for the areas inside of himself that made him feel inferior. He was nervous about letting anybody know that he may have a sexual identity that was different from what society called normal. There were a lot of reasons that he was afraid, but when he was out in the woods alone with Brandon and the animals, he was the most beautiful creature Brandon had ever seen.
At night, Brandon prowled the woods, thinking about his need for an omega mate. Everybody in the pack had been encouraging him to find somebody, as it was very unusual for anybody to remain single past the age of 30 in their pack. Because he was their leader, it seemed to be more of an urgent and pressing matter than most of them had ever considered before. If their leader didn't reproduce and raise strong and healthy children, what would happen to the pack?
The question haunted him and the pack both, and desire to reproduce and start a family were burning deeply within him. He wasn't sure if he would be able to reproduce with Quinn, but the idea of Quinn becoming his omega mate really brought his heart to racing. It was a secret fantasy that he harbored himself over the next few weeks. They had been working together for a few months by the time that Quinn finally approached him and swallowed hard.
“I think we should try a different route. We are not getting anywhere the way things have been going."
Brandon's heart lurched. It seemed like Quinn was suspicious. In fact, Quinn was only trying not to hurt Brandon's feelings. They had been working together for so long without getting any real results. And Quinn was concerned that the reason this was happening was because Brandon continued to lead the way. Quinn wanted a chance to do things on his own, without having to worry about being misled by a false trail that Brandon found.
He didn't want to come right out and say that he thought Brandon was incompetent though, and had to rack his brain to try and find a good way to explain what he was feeling. Brandon was very intelligent and very magnetic, and every time they were together alone for a while there was something undeniable that would cross between the two of them. There was something very animalistic about the way that Brandon made Quinn feel, and the wildness of Quinn's hair continued to thinly veil the person Quinn was trying to hide inside. That person was closer and closer to coming out every day, and whatever feelings he was dealing with toward Brandon seem to rise closer to the surface with every encounter.
“What would you do then?" Brandon asked, suddenly nervous. "What route is there to take from here? These wolves are smart, I don't know if they are trying to avoid detection or if they just don't know where to settle down."
“Thinking maybe if I lead the way, something new would come up. You are really great at tracking one particular wolf, but I don't think that wolf is part of the pack. In fact, it might be a stray.”
The thought of being called a stray made Brandon furious, but of course Quinn would never understand why he was so angry. He felt huffy and walked ahead of Quinn, showing his shoulders and grumbling that he can do whatever he wanted to do. Quinn's face fell, he thought that he had insulted Brandon's intelligence. In fact, Brandon was angry that he, the leader of the pack, might be told that he didn't even belong in the pack. It was one of the deeper insults that he had experienced, even though it was an indirect one.
Quinn felt terrible for hurting Brandon's feelings, even though he misunderstood the situation. There was nothing that he could do about it however, and he quickly made peace with the fact. At least it was a reason to keep Brandon at a distance. He would not have to deal with all of these nagging feelings that arose whenever Brandon was too close, or his hand was lingering near Quinn's. He knew what he wanted, he was afraid to say it out loud, even to himself. There was nothing that he could say to make himself feel better about having feelings for Brandon, and there was no way for him to explore them without feeling like a total monster.
He did feel like a monster for hurting Brandon's feelings though, and the longer they didn't speak for the rest of that day as Quinn quietly trailed a new set of tracks, the worst that Quinn felt. Finally, he could no longer focus on his work and went out searching for Brandon. Brandon had disappeared from his site, and suddenly, Quinn felt very alone. He called out to Brandon but nobody was there. Quinn felt very close to panicking, hoping that he would be able to find his way out of the vast mountain forest alone without Brandon's help getting to the parking lot.
It was always hard to be honest with the people that he cared about, especially when it could hurt their feelings. But it was something that Quinn felt was very important, especially in developing any kind of long-lasting relationship. He didn't know what kind of relationship he would end up having with Brandon, but he always felt that honesty was the best policy. Except for his truest and deepest personal feelings. He would have done anything to keep people away from those.
Suddenly, Quinn's stomach rumbled and he sat against a tree and got into his backpack in search of his lunch. He would have to find Brandon later, or catch up with him tomorrow. There was nothing more that he could do about it, and allowing the situation to go out of his hands felt a little better. If nothing else, he can use the GPS unit to try and find the parking lot from the forest. He still had some battery life left, but he was pretty sure that he could navigate the forest well enough. He was just hoping to make the trek back with Brandon. When he was with capable people, he began to doubt his own capabilities at times. And Brandon was extremely capable. He knew he should not allow himself to become dependent on Brandon's leadership, and knew that this was a good way for him to learn this lesson.
He ate in silence until he was full and then put his food back into his backpack, careful not to leave anything for wild animals to track him with. He had to head back t
o the van. The sun would be setting any minute now, and he was careful, he would be trapped in an unfamiliar forest after dark. Worse, he would not even have his forest service partner at his side to help him through it. It was time for him to go home. He would just have to apologize to Brandon tomorrow.
Chapter 8
Sometimes Brandon wished that he wasn't so impulsive. If he had the choice, he would have stayed and talked it out with Quinn. Unfortunately, he was thinking his heart not his mind, and found himself hurt and dismissed by the idea that Quinn could understand nothing about him. When he looked under the surface of things, he realized that he wasn't just upset about not being recognized as the leader of the pack. It also had a lot to do with the fact that he wasn't sure if Quinn would ever be able to understand that he was a wolf shifter himself.
It made Brandon feel very unhappy and self-conscious when he thought about trying to come out to Quinn about his secret. It was obvious that Quinn was struggling with his sexual identity, but it was very unlikely that he had ever had to face something quite as serious as hiding his whole true nature from the rest of the world. Or maybe it was exactly like this, and maybe they had a lot more in common than he thought. But still, it wasn't likely that Quinn would be able to understand his wolf nature. Sure, he can be drawn to it, and he loved wolves as a species, but it seemed like loving a wolf shifter was probably off-limits.
He howled miserably into the night, wanting to give Quinn some kind of a signal. He didn't know what he wanted, but he knew that he was very upset about the idea that Quinn may never be able to understand. He was also miserable that he had to continually try to save his pack. The pressure was never ending, and finding somebody like Quinn who made him feel very confused about his mission brought a lot of stress on his shoulders. He felt that he was carrying the weight of the world, and the only thing that kept him going was the idea his Omega mate might be out there somewhere ready and waiting for him.
The people in his pack heard the howl, and came trotting toward him. He didn't want them to, but they could tell leader was in distress. They were used to being on the lookout for anything strange and suspicious. If Brandon was in trouble, they would be there in a minute to try their best to save him. It was a favorite that they gave each other mutually, and everybody seemd to understand the importance of teamwork.
“Are you all right?" Fiona asked him. Fiona was his stepsister, and he always appreciated her eagerness to help and protect him.
“Yes, I am all right," Brandon lied. “Anyway, it's nothing that anybody can fix. I'm just trying to figure things out. Don't worry. Kind of personal."
She didn't need to ask any more about it, she just nodded knowingly and stepped away. She was still in her wolf form, and he watched her summon the pack and leave them away so that he could have some time alone. Brandon was grateful for the intervention, and found himself trotting through the woods toward a stream. It was the same area where he thought he could lead Quinn and get him off of the wolves trail. With his mind stuck on Quinn, he sat, in his wolf form, at the edge of the water.
Why did everything have to be so complicated? Finding his Omega mate shouldn't be so hard. But how was he supposed to explain to Quinn that he was a wolf shifter? There was no way that anybody would ever accept that outside of this pack. Maybe if he were talking to another shifter things will be different. He would be able to understand. He was talking to a biologist, somebody who made it his business to track the lifestyles of animals.
That was another thing that bothered Brandon. Quinn would just reduce them to animals. Animals who didn't have much reason or sense, and only acted on their instincts. Maybe it was humans who were flawed for ignoring their instincts so much that they get themselves into silly situations. Brandon trusted his instincts, and they were better than most peoples. That was why he was the leader of his pack. Quinn however, obviously did not trust his own instincts and was very afraid of whatever he was capable of. He did not have complete control, it was probably something that terrified Quinn. Brandon didn't respect that, but he also found it endearing. He sighed and looked up at the moon, his mind completely in a jumble. There was no way that he could figure things out with Quinn. He would just have to start avoiding him. That was the easiest way to do it.
He got up and lapped a long drink of cool water from the stream. It gave him some minor peace of mind to have a plan to follow, and knowing that he was going to stop trying was a little bit liberating. He couldn't help but feel sad though, and he headed off into the darkness of the forest alone.
Chapter 9
Quinn was still in the woods. He heard a howl and looked up, startled. He thought maybe this could be his only chance to figure out where the wolves were. He knew that it was a big risk for him to go off on his own in the darkness of the night, especially in a forest where he wasn't sure how to navigate 100%, but he knew that he might never have another chance. It was time to take a big risk, and he was up to the challenge.
He put away his GPS unit and turned it off, so that the sound of any spontaneous alerts would not put him into any danger. He distinctly heard the Wolf howling from the Northwest area of the forest, and decided to take a look around. As the earth began to darken around him, he began to feel very nervous. He wasn't sure where he was going, or why he thought it might be a good idea to be out at night in search of wild and feral wolves, but that was exactly what he was doing. It was definitely a risk.
The other thing on his mind that would not go away was Brandon. Brandon had wandered off into the forest by himself, and Quinn didn't feel right leaving him like that. He had been listening carefully for the rumbling sound of Brandon's engine, but he didn't hear anything. That meant that Brandon was still in the forest somewhere. Brandon would not be safe either, especially if he was having an emotional moment.
The man was impulsive and reckless, and an obvious thrillseeker. Although it was exciting, it could also be dangerous. Although Brandon could navigate the woods by himself, Quinn could not help but feel a responsibility toward him. He knew he should just wait by the van, but after hearing the Wolf howl, he had been drawn to it as if it had everything that he had been looking for. The answers to all of his questions.
Cautiously through the dark forest, careful to step over roots and peer into the distance. His eyes were sharp, and he was very quiet and intent, listening for the sounds of movement. Suddenly, he thought he heard the Wolf ahead of him. His heart thudded hard in his chest and he moved closer, hoping to discover the beautiful pack of wolves that had been eluding him all these months. Although he had a lot of valuable research done over the course of time, he needed to find them to study them. Even if it was just for one night, he would have a lot of valuable information. It could change the course of his work forever.
As he crept toward the noise, he suddenly paused. There was something intimidating about the figure that he suddenly saw appear in front of him. It was not the size of a wolf, in fact, it was much smaller. He squinted into the darkness, eager to discover what he had found, and suddenly his hands started to tremble. A mountain lion was slowly heading toward him, eyes fixed on him as if he would make a great midnight snack. Quinn suddenly felt very stupid. He knew that cats hunted at night, and now this one was heading toward him, ready to pounce. He began throwing whatever he could at the cat, but it did not back down and continued forward in an attack stance. He screamed, “Go away!” The cat continued forward. His only chance was to run.
All feeling of logic escaped his mind as he began to flee the monstrous creature. He shouted loudly as he ran, trying hard not to scream like a child. The last thing he needed to do was to attract more attention to himself so other predators might be able to find him. Suddenly, the forest seemed precarious and dangerous, and Quinn had to run carefully to avoid falling. It was a lot easier to avoid the large groups of the trees during the day, but at night, they were lethal. Quinn's foot caught one of the large raised roots, and he fell to the ground with a loud thud. He
cried out in pain as his ankle seemed to crush under his weight, and he scrambled to stand up. But it was too late, the mountain lion was ready to pounce. She had caught up to him.
Chapter 10
Quinn quaked in fear and pain, his heart caught in his throat. The eyes of the mountain lion were fixed onto his he was sure that everything was over. He had made a stupid mistake, and now he was going to pay for it. Suddenly, he heard a loud growl coming from behind him, and humongous black body leapt over him and intercepted the mountain lion before it could approach any closer. Standing between himself and the mountain lion was the biggest and most beautiful wolf he had ever seen. The Wolf snarled that the mountain lion, causing her ears to lay back down flat on her head as she retreated.
Quinn wasn't sure what to do, and cried out in pain as he tried to stand up and get away from both of the animals. He looked up to determine where the wolf might be standing, but was surprised to discover that the wolf was gone, and Brandon was panting in front of him, his muscular chest bare and heaving rapidly.
“Where did you come from?" Quinn asked, wincing in pain.
“I've been around," Brandon said, giving him a sheepish look. “Are you all right?"