Skull Flowers
Page 5
OFFICER WHISTLE BRITCHES
Get outta' here with that bullshit!
Alexis looks at Officer Whistle Britches him with a face that's screaming shut up.
OFFICER WHISTLE BRITCHES
I mean come on that's crazy talk!
PROFESSOR PROXY
A lot of things we take for granted today were once thought to be crazy.
Professor Proxy points to 808.
PROFESSOR PROXY
Take 808 over there for instance.
When Alexis miscarried him, we used the money the House ov Cards gave me to create a bionic womb in which the child's mind could continue to grow.
Professor Proxy boots up 808's schematics on his Eyegasmatron.
PROFESSOR PROXY
Through the use of Cybernetics and N,N-Dimethyltryptamine we proved one could achieve Cognitive Transfer, a process where the consciousness of an individual could be transferred from man to machine.
A time lapsed video of 808's development begins streaming.
PROFESSOR PROXY
In 18 months the fetus has progressed to the mental equivalent of an 18 year old male and yet the fetus still lives inside the womb we constructed for him as though it were as natural as a single drop of rain.
A video of a fetal 808 asleep in the womb begins streaming.
PROFESSOR PROXY
Source Code to some is like a magick alphabet, a 1000 years ago what we did would have been called witchcraft, or labeled necromancy, today we call it a cutting edge science.
OFFICER WHISTLE BRITCHES
So what you sayin'? 808's your kid?
ALEXIS
Yep,
Alexis reaches over and pulls 808 in like a schoolboy.
ALEXIS
He's my pride and joy.
OFFICER WHISTLE BRITCHES
What did the governor say?
Alexis looks up at Whistle Britches like someone who has been keeping a deep dark secret.
ALEXIS
He never knew I was pregnant.
Whistle Britches is mind blown.
PROFESSOR PROXY
So, what do you have planned next?
Professor Proxy puts his hands on his knees.
PROFESSOR PROXY
You obviously have been on quite an adventure so far and I readily admit what you brought me is simply amazing.
Professor Proxy looks back at the lab rats vital signs.
PROFESSOR PROXY
If what you're saying is true then the only way to know for sure what is going on is to find out what Controlled Substances Inc. is hiding.
OFFICER WHISTLE BRITCHES
You mean break into the Death Factory.
PROFESSOR PROXY
I doubt you'd have to go that far. Manzini would never keep something like that in his office.
Besides it's Dr. Necropolis that creates all his patent medicine anyway.
If anyone would have any evidence laying around it would be him.
OFFICER WHISTLE BRITCHES
Either way we're going into the Death Factory.
ALEXIS
But, how would we get in?
PROFESSOR PROXY
I don't know.
Officer Whistle Britches slumps over and places his face in his hands.
OFFICER WHISTLE BRITCHES
The only way to get in undetected is through the sewer system.
Alexis, 808, and Professor Proxy look directly at Officer Whistle Britches like he's lying.
He looks up.
OFFICER WHISTLE BRITCHES
It leads right under the place where Manzini dumps most of the factories toxic waste into Fiddlers Creek.
ALEXIS
Are you sure of this?
OFFICER WHISTLE BRITCHES
Sure, I'm sure. I used to be a security guard there.
But where are you going to get a boat?
ALEXIS
Oh, I might know of a pirate or two that can lend a hand when it comes to a boat.
Especially if it has anything to do with sticking it to the Occult Bureau.
OFFICER WHISTLE BRITCHES
Like who?
ALEXIS
My friend Junebug, he's got a ship.
PROFESSOR PROXY
How is ole' Bug?
Last I heard he'd got in a little trouble.
ALEXIS
I don't know, I haven't seen him in a while.
But, I'm sure he'll help us.
He's never let me down in the past.
PROFESSOR PROXY
I remember when I took ole' Bug to a poetry reading held by the university when he was dreaming of becoming a rapper.
When it was all over with he told me that watching all those teachers win all those poetry prizes was almost like being at a concert and watching the security provide the entertainment.
Alexis grins.
ALEXIS
That's Bug' for ya'.
PROFESSOR PROXY
Well, if you're gonna go at least protect yourself.
Professor Proxy gets up and walks over to the Eyegasmatron as big as a chalkboard.
With stylus in hand Professor Proxy draws a 5-pointed star / pentagram on the Eyegasmatron that morphs into a golden rectangle.
A golden spiral appears and the Eyegasmatron unlocks.
The Eyegasmatron flips around to reveal a secret room.
It is filled with a sea of green.
Marijuana plants are growing everywhere.
Amongst them a hidden weapons arsenal is revealed.
PROFESSOR PROXY
Here, put these on.
Professor Proxy hands Alexis a pair of finger-less satin gloves adorned with lace.
ALEXIS
Since when did you become a fashionista.
PROFESSOR PROXY
I'm not, they're Power Gloves.
Alexis puts the Power Gloves on.
She admires her newest fashion accessory.
ALEXIS
How retro.
PROFESSOR PROXY
They give the user super-human strength and the ability to control my newest invention.
Professor Proxy motions to Alexis to pick-up a hi-tech sword.
She picks it up and begins to play with it.
PROFESSOR PROXY
You see the triggers on the handle?
Alexis looks at the triggers.
PROFESSOR PROXY
Each one of those turns the Laser Blade into one of three different weapons.
Alexis pulls the first trigger.
The Laser Blade transforms into a hi-tech machine gun.
She pulls the second trigger.
The Laser Blade transforms into a hi-tech bow and arrow.
She pulls the third trigger.
The Laser Blade transforms back into a sword.
ALEXIS
That is so cool.
Professor Proxy walks over to a mannequin wearing a bullet proof vest.
PROFESSOR PROXY
If you place the Laser Blade against your clothes it will bond to the fabric so you don't have to carry it around all the time.
Alexis reaches over her shoulder and places the Laser Blade against her back.
It stays in place.
ALEXIS
Sweet!
PROFESSOR PROXY
If you ever drop it just open your hand and the censors woven into the fibers of your Power Gloves will send out a signal to the Laser Blade to come to you.
808 walks amongst the budding marijuana plants.
He takes a pair of scissors and cuts a few buds for himself when Professor Proxy isn't looking.
808 picks up some glow sticks and places them in his bookbag along with some dominoes.
Officer Whistle Britches spots a calculator watch glowing in an isolation chamber.
OFFICER WHISTLE BRITCHES
What's that do?
PROFESSOR PROXY
That's the DDT.
Officer Whistle Britches looks puzzled.
/> OFFICER WHISTLE BRITCHES
Kinda' looks like a calculator watch to me.
PROFESSOR PROXY
Check it out.
Professor Proxy grins as he hands the DDT to Officer Whistle Britches.
PROFESSOR PROXY
All you have to do is type in 3.141 to unlock it.
Officer Whistle Britches types in 3.141
It unlocks the DDT and transforms the calculator watch around his wrist a giant hand canon that runs up his arm and across his back.
OFFICER WHISTLE BRITCHES
What the...
Professor Proxy motions to what looks like a big black diamond that resembles a doorway.
PROFESSOR PROXY
You can take some target practice over here.
Officer Whistle Britches follows Professor Proxy.
PROFESSOR PROXY
Just fire into the monolith and it will absorb its energy without anyone getting hurt.
Whistle Britches fires the DDT and is blown across the room.
Professor Proxy snaps his fingers.
PROFESSOR PROXY
I knew I forgot something.
Professor Proxy runs to the corner of the room.
He grabs a pair of boots.
Officer Whistle Britches is lying nearly unconscious with tweety-birds flying around his head.
He presents the boots to Officer Whistle Britches.
PROFESSOR PROXY
Make sure you have on these.
Officer Whistle Britches shakes his head and returns to consciousness.
OFFICER WHISTLE BRITCHES
Boots?
PROFESSOR PROXY
They're Gravity Boots.
They'll give you a center of gravity when you fire the DDT.
Officer Whistle Britches is so mad he tries to shoot Professor Proxy with the DDT.
Professor Proxy smiles.
PROFESSOR PROXY
It takes a few seconds to charge up but once it does just squeeze that trigger to unleash some serious carnage.
Professor Proxy snickers then pats Officer Whistle Britches on top of the head as Alexis sticks a pair of Ionic Daggers in her boots.
Verse XXI
The parking lot of the Fleur De Lis is filled with people.
Music blares as everyone prepares to party.
OFFICER WHISTLE BRITCHES
So, how exactly do you know this pirate?
ALEXIS
His mother Momma Nymms was my nanna.
OFFICER WHISTLE BRITCHES
And, you trust him?
ALEXIS
He's like a brother to me of course I trust him.
We might as well be kin.
Alexis exits the Shadow Runner.
As 808 exits the Shadow Runner a robot honey named Nailz runs up to him and tickles his ear.
808 shoo's her off.
OFFICER WHISTLE BRITCHES
What was up with that?
808 scribbles on his Grimoire.
He hands it to Officer Whistle Britches.
Officer Whistle Britches reads it back slowly.
OFFICER WHISTLE BRITCHES
I got no luv' fa tho'z.
Officer Whistle Britches looks at 808 like he's crazy.
There's a long line outside the Fluer De Lis.
Boundreaux tha' Bouncer sees Alexis coming towards the door.
He is seated with a sawed-off shotgun called an Oxtail.
BOUDREAUX
Who dat!?!
Officer Whistle Britches stumbles over a drunk.
ALEXIS
What up, Boudreaux?
How you been?
BOUDREAUX
I can't complain.
ALEXIS
Don't do no good anyway.
BOUDREAUX
G'naw, they just make fun of ya' if ya' do.
You ain't still with that boy Xavier is ya'?
ALEXIS
No, we split a while back.
BOUDREAUX
I remember when Momma Nymms used to bring that boy an' Junebug out to the tent revivals along the bayou Emeritus Strange used to have.
Boudreaux smiles.
BOUDREAUX
Them two heathens used to sleep in the shadows beneath the pews and build castles out of hymnals when they wasn't driving that poor woman crazy dropping them lil' Blip Candy'z in the offering plate.
ALEXIS
Speaking of Junebug, he inside?
BOUDREAUX
Yeah, he's up in there all boo-boo'd up with Minx as usual.
Boudreaux begins to let Alexis and 808 in.
BOUDREAUX
Boy, should'ah went to politikin' like that fool you was dating.
Boudreaux holds the door to the Fleur De Lis open for Alexis and 808.
BOUDREAUX
Seems like it's paid some handsome dividends for him in the long run unlike, bug.
He stops Officer Whistle Britches dead in his tracks.
BOUDREAUX
Where you think you're going buster? This ain't no science fair.
Boudreaux looks Officer Whistle Britches up and down.
OFFICER WHISTLE BRITCHES
Buster!
Alexis puts her arm around Boudreaux's neck.
ALEXIS
It's cool, Boudreaux. He's with me.
The people waiting in line begin to get impatient.
BOUDREAUX
Aight.
Boudreaux's got one eye cocked and is now spitting chewing tobacco all over himself.
BOUDREAUX
I'm gonna make an exception this time cause' he's with you.
ALEXIS
Thanks, I owe you one.
Alexis kisses Boudreaux on the cheek and starts to walk off.
BOUDREAUX
But make sure you keep him off the dance floor.
We gotta' reputation to uphold and it ain't with squares n' tricks!
Verse XXII
The Fleur De Lis is illuminated by an assortment of black lights, strobes, fog machines, and things that spray glitter.
Nebula tha Bounty Hunter is standing by a Bit Browser by the entrance with a crossbow called the Witch Finder in his hand.
The Status Quo is on on the Eyegasmatron hanging on the wall behind the bar.
Alexis, 808, and Officer Whistle Britches wanted pictures are being shown.
A robot rapper, Erotika, rocks the mic.
She's trill-steppin' her Ba-dunka-dunk 9000 on the stage next to the dance floor.
DJ Feedback mixes and scratches on a Death Fader DJ Mixer.
The Freakazoids a group of burlesque robotic dancers dance behind Erotika.
OFFICER WHISTLE BRITCHES
It's a good thing he let me in.
I thought I was about to have to put my hoof's on him.
Officer Whistle Britches begins to sling his arms around like an octopus with his fists clenched.
Alexis looks at him like he is crazy.
ALEXIS
Whatever, Boudreaux would ah' beat you down.
808 begins walking up the stairs to the Velvet Room.
Scarzenksy's Roach runs up the wall beside him.
A huge plume of hickory smoke is rolling down the staircase like fog.
ALEXIS
Come on.
Junebug's upstairs.
As Alexis, 808, and Officer Whistle Britches begin to walk up the stairs Nebula the Bounty Hunter looks towards the stairs and opens a streaming feed on the Bit Browser located next to the bathrooms.
Junebug is seated at a poker table playing cards with a bunch of fellow pirates, the CBR Kingz.
His girlfriend Minx is sitting on his lap.
She has one hand cradling a pistol called her Black Rose.
Her other arm is around Junebug's neck holding a half-empty bottle of Skull n' Bones Brand Absinthe.
Junebug sees Alexis.
He motions to one of the members of his security team, Chinchillla, to let Alexis into the Velvet Room.
JU
NEBUG
Let her in whoadie!
I been knowin' that girl since she was knee high to a grasshopper!