“Then why are you out here speeding up and down the highway?”
It might not look like it, but she was in control. “I’m not crazy.”
He tore off the ticket and handed it to her.
“I thought you were my friend, Neal.”
“I am. That’s why I wrote you a ticket for one-twenty instead of one-eighty-five like you deserve.”
Lily gasped once more. “One hundred and twenty dollars?” She stuffed the ticket in her coat pocket.
“Good to see you, Lily.”
“Wish I could say the same.” What a jerk, but she had been raised right so she grudgingly added, “Tell Suzanne and the kids I said hey.”
“Will do and slow down.” Neal stepped back and Lily eased the Jeep back onto the highway. The Road Kill was about twenty minutes away and she was careful to drive the speed limit. She even drove a few miles under, but her mind raced—spinning and tumbling, and her heart felt like it was cracking. She was in love with Tucker. She took a deep breath and let it out, checking herself. She felt okay. Still not feeling crazy. Okay, maybe a tiny bit, but not enough to drive her car through someone’s house crazy. That was crazy. Destructive crazy, and she wasn’t that Lily anymore.
The gravel parking lot of the Road Kill was filled, but she was able to find a spot near the front door. She’d just go in, tell Tucker she loved him, and everything would work out. It had to . . . because she didn’t want to think about a life without him in it.
Honky-tonk music filtered through the cracks in the building and grew louder when she went inside. Everyone knew that the back rooms could be rented out, and she headed through the bar. A few people called out her name and she held up a hand and waved as she wove her way through the crowd. When she got to one of the back rooms, she slipped through the door as a stripper in a cop outfit cuffed Marty Dingus to a chair. From an MP3 player, Kid Rock sang about picking up a “mean little missy” in Baton Rouge. Lily’s gaze scanned the room until it landed on Tucker, who stood to one side. He wore a black T-shirt and jeans and his head was cocked to one side as if he was studying the stripper’s butt.
Her heart pounding in her chest, Lily walked past the shocked gazes of some of the other deputies. Tucker was transfixed on the stripper and raised a bottle of Lone Star.
“Seriously, Tucker?” She stopped next to him. “Cadillac Pussy?” She pointed to the MP3 and the music blaring from the small speakers. “You know how I feel about crude language.”
His head whipped toward her and he lowered the beer. “What are you doing here, Lily?” He looked shocked but not in the least ashamed.
“Apparently, I’m hunting you down.” She turned her finger to the half-naked girl bumping and grinding. “And you’re watching Marty get a lap dance.”
Tucker shook his head. “She hasn’t got to the lap dance part yet. That never happens until she strips to her G-string.” He said it like it didn’t even occur to him to be embarrassed that he knew that kind of information.
While she’d been out getting a ticket and acting a little impulsive, he’d been having a beer and watching a half-naked girl. Now . . . Now she was starting to feel a little crazy around the edges. “If you can drag yourself away from the sight of that stripper’s butt, I’d like to have a few words with you. Outside?”
“Sure.” He started through the small crowd of men and she slipped her hand into his. He looked back into her eyes and gave her hand a little squeeze that she felt in her heart. They moved down a short hall out the back door. A wooden deck had been built on the back of the bar, but this time of year it was empty.
Lily stopped next to a table turned on its side. She took a deep breath, past the big lump in her throat. Overhead light shined down on them, but his face gave nothing away.
She had to jump in now. All the way. “I love you, Tucker. I love you and I want to be with you.” She swallowed hard and lowered her gaze to the dip in his throat. “You were honest with me and told me about your past and who you are, but I haven’t told you about me.” She shook her head and got the rest out in a rush of words. “Everyone thinks I’m crazy. I admit I’ve done a few crazy things in my past. Things that it took me a long time to live down, and I’m afraid once you know, you’ll leave.”
“I’m not going anywhere.” He put a finger beneath her chin and raised her gaze to his. “I know who you are, Lily. I know all about you. I know you were one tick away from being 5150’d for driving your car into your ex’s house. I know that you were knocked flat by him, but you pulled yourself up and made a success of yourself. You should be proud of yourself for that.
“I know that you love your son and the first time I saw you with Pippen, I saw how much you love him. You said you’d kill for him, and I knew that I wanted to love and be loved like that.”
She blinked. “You know people call me crazy? Why didn’t you say something?”
“Because it’s not true. You’re passionate and you love with your heart and soul, and I want that.”
“What if it is true? I worked really hard not to be crazy, but I admit I’m feeling a little crazy right now. I got a speeding ticket tonight because I thought you were hiding behind the Welcome to Lovett sign.”
“Whoa.” He whipped he head back and forth. “What—”
“You’ve been ignoring me and I wanted to get your attention. So I raced up and down the highway.” She pulled the ticket out of her pocket. “But it was Neal.”
He tipped his head back and laughed. Long and loud, and then he gathered her against his chest. “You acted that crazy to get my attention?”
“Not that crazy. Just a little crazy.”
“That’s funny.”
“Not really. Now Neal thinks I’m crazy again and he’ll probably tell the guys you work with.”
“I’m a big boy. I can handle anything as long as I have you.”
“You do, Tucker, but it’s not just me.”
“I know, and I know I’m not Pippen’s daddy. I can never be his daddy. Hell, I don’t know how to be a dad, but I know that I’ll never treat him mean or ignore him or leave him out. I’ll never let him think he doesn’t matter or disappoint him.” If it was possible, her heart swelled more and she squeezed her arms around him. He pulled back and looked into her eyes. “I’d do anything for you, Lily, but I can’t change my age.”
“I know.” She rose onto her toes and kissed the side of his neck. “I don’t care.”
He shivered. “You cared a lot a few days ago.”
“A few days ago I was scared. I was afraid of what people would say. I was afraid of a lot of things, but you weren’t. You were bold and unafraid.”
“Are you kidding me? I’ve been scared shitless this whole time that you would never love me back.”
He’d never acted scared—shitless or any other kind. “Two days ago you told me I had to get in or out.” She lightly bit his ear. “I want in, Tucker. All of you. All the way.” She dropped back on her heels and looked up into his face that was no longer free of expression. His smile was as big as hers.
“I want you all the way, Lily Darlington.”
“People will say you’re crazy.”
“I don’t care what people say.” He pressed a quick kiss to her lips. “Just as long as I get to go crazy on you.”
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Crazy on You lt-2 Page 9