“Hmmm, I see your point,” she murmured as he settled between her legs.
He wanted to take this slow, ease into it and draw out every stroke. He wanted to make her come again and again even if he couldn’t manage a six-condom night. Hell, seven if they counted the one from earlier.
Gently, he pressed into her, allowing her time to adjust. He tried to hold back the last few inches, but her hips rocked up to greet him. Her legs wrapped around him, her heels digging into his ass. And she began to move.
Fuck slow.
He drove into her over and over, rushing toward the finish line. Next time, they would try for gentle and calm. Right now, he wanted her too much.
“Dominic,” she said as her arms drew him down until his chest pressed against hers. And her lips brushed his ear. “We can make balloon animals with the rest of them. There won’t be any left after tonight.”
He heard the implied for anyone else in her words and came with a rush as she followed him, tumbling into pleasure.
After . . . still trying to breathe . . . he rolled off her and stared up at the ceiling. What if he tried to be a part of Lily’s life—the man who delivered her dreams of marriage and family—and failed?
He reached for the box, determined to use another in ten minutes. Maybe eight if she kept rubbing up against his side.
“Again,” she whispered.
“Again, Lily.”
Just in case they had the right man in custody. Just in case her life went back to normal and she didn’t need him anymore. Just in case he was left with a choice. Stay with the woman who owned his heart, knowing she no longer needed what he had to give her—protection—or go. And he decided to leave again.
He wanted to make damn sure that box wasn’t waiting for Ted or anyone else.
Chapter Fourteen
LILY SURVEYED HER bed. The pinks sheets had been tucked in and the comforter folded on the edge while she’d been in the shower. She’d heard him out here, moving around. And she’d closed her eyes while shampooing her hair, knowing he was right there.
“Everything all right?” Dominic walked in and handed her a cup of coffee. Her childhood bedroom felt smaller with him standing beside the queen-sized bed that barely fit. Though it hadn’t seemed that way last night.
She accepted the coffee. “We didn’t break the bed.”
“Pick up another box of condoms and we’ll try again after our trip to Salem.”
The attack. The man sitting in a jail cell. The report from the second attack . . . She’d let it all slip to the back of her mind for one blissful night. “Do you have that file? The one from the Salem police department? I’d like to look at it before we go.”
“I brought it in from the car.” He turned and led the way down the hall. When they reached the kitchen, he set down his mug and picked up a thin manila folder off the counter, then handed it to her.
Her fingers trembled and she glanced up at him. “Have you read it?”
He nodded. “There are some differences,” he said slowly. “And without your positive ID they don’t have anything to tie him to your attack. He claims he’s never been to Forever.”
Unease washed over her. He’d sounded so sure yesterday, in the bar. “But he used a knife?”
“Yes. And the woman was out jogging. But this time he took her phone.”
Lily closed her eyes and the memory rushed in. Lying on the pavement . . . crawling . . . hoping . . . screaming . . . and then finding her phone.
She opened her eyes. “Mine fell, I think.” Goodness, she couldn’t even say for sure. And now it mattered. “Maybe he didn’t see it.”
“Maybe,” he agreed and he cocked his head. “Do you want to sit down? Then look?”
“No.” She flipped open the folder and scanned the page. “ ‘Give me your phone’—those were his only words?”
The pieces didn’t line up. Her body felt as if it had been turned to stone. Dominic had been so sure, but this crime was different. The suspect used a knife, but only after the victim refused to meet his demands. The man who attacked her in the park had cut first.
She looked down at the mug shot. She didn’t need to read anymore. It didn’t matter if she’d dropped her cell phone or how many times she’d been cut versus the woman in Salem. The man sitting in a jail cell was irrelevant.
She looked up at Dominic. “It’s not him. I saw his eyes. This isn’t him. This man has bright blue eyes. The man who attacked me had brown ones. A deep, dark brown.”
“You’re sure?” he said.
“Yes.” She closed the file and set it on the counter. Then she looked up at him. “How could you be certain it was?”
“The pieces lined up. Another random attack . . . It seemed plausible. I wasn’t certain, but—”
“I’ve believed from the beginning that the man who came at me with a knife was after me. I never thought it was random. I know what your father and the rest of the police force thought, but . . .” She studied his resigned expression. He almost looked as if he’d been waiting for this. “Did you ever believe me? You told me that you did. But all this time, you agreed with your dad and . . . and everyone else.”
“No.” His tone was strong, forceful. “No, Lil—”
“Do you believe me now? Do you think someone is after me?” she asked. “Or you think I’m just plain afraid?”
He ran his hands through his long hair. “I believed you. But I also know myself. I wanted the guy who hurt you to be out there, waiting for me to take him out. I wanted to crush him.”
She nodded as the truth sank in. Looking back, he’d always wanted to play the part of the hero, even if it meant fighting somewhere far away, living on the other side of the country—even if it kept them apart. And she’d always let him. She’d always believed in him.
“And I let all that bullshit cloud my judgment,” he said. “Look at the facts. There were no links to anyone in your life. You never received a death threat. And no one has come after you. I know you’re afraid. That’s normal after what happened to you. And shit, Lil, I wanted to help you. I still do.”
“Did you really look into the names I gave you?” She needed to pinpoint when he’d dismissed the idea that someone wanted to hurt her.
“Yeah, I did. While you’ve been at the bar, I’ve slipped away to my dad’s and used his computer. I’ve combed through every reference to those names online and in the police databases. There was nothing to find, Lil. I would have told you if there was. I came home to help you, honey.”
“Ryan dragged you back here.” She felt her faith crumbling. She’d placed so much trust in Dominic, and for so long. Even when he’d left Forever six years ago to become a soldier.
But that had been taken from him. And now . . .
“My fears aren’t some project for you practice playing the hero again,” she added.
“Is that what you think I’ve been doing here?” He raised his right hand. The scar was visible from across the room. “I’m no hero. Hell, I’m not even cut out for the bodyguard role Ryan, Noah, and Josie dumped on me. I’m here because I love you. Do you hear me, Lily? I love you.”
“No,” she whispered. His words hung in the air, tossed out if he’d needed a trump card. Something to steal her attention away from the truth right in front of her. But how many times had he said those words only to walk away from her?
“You needed someone to help you through this. And yeah, I’m the wrong guy for the job because I care about you too damn much. Because I want you too damn much.”
I love you too.
She closed her eyes. It was real. She knew it in her heart. But she couldn’t tell him that. Not now, as the hard truth of her situation sank in. He’d come back because he loved her and she’d been hurt. But if she hadn’t needed someone watching over her night and day, he would have staye
d away. He would have continued loving her from freaking Georgia.
If that was his idea of love . . . she didn’t want it. The kind of love couldn’t give her what she needed. She’d known from the beginning that the sense of security he offered felt tenuous at best.
“You’re right,” she said, opening her eyes. “You’re not a hero. You’re a coward. So go. Leave. You were planning to anyway.”
“Lily, I’m not leaving you like this.”
“Fine, then stay.” Whether he chose to remain in Forever or go back to Georgia didn’t matter. And it never had. How she felt in his arms, safe and secure, or whether he loved her or she loved him, none of that mattered if she couldn’t trust him. Because what she needed from him, what she needed for herself—that required trust.
“But if you stay,” she added, “I need you to leave me alone.”
“Lily—”
“I can’t fight my way back from this if you’re out there, watching my house from your car.” Her voice trembled with every word, but she pushed forward. She needed to say these words out loud and make sure he understood.
And let him know that she did too, because he wasn’t the only coward in the room. She’d been burying her head in the sand when it came to facing the awful truth of her situation.
“If I need you, or a police officer, or anyone, watching over me, checking behind every door in my home before I can enter a room, I’ll never feel safe again,” she said, her voice gaining strength with each word. “I can’t wait for someone to show up and hand me back my sense of security. I need to find it on my own.”
DOMINIC HAD BEEN shot three times, but he had still wanted to climb out of his hospital bed and fight the minute he woke up. It had taken him a long time to accept defeat. But right now, he recognized failure. He’d had it all wrong from the beginning. He should have tried to be her boyfriend, not her protector.
But hell, even then he probably would have failed.
“You’re right,” he said. “I’ll go.”
Because if he stayed . . .
He could make her feel secure, he could work to win her trust back, and hell, he might even be able to give her the family she craved one day. But he would never be able to witness Lily’s fear or see her in pain and not do whatever he could to keep her safe.
He loved her too damn much.
And he loved her because she was willing to push him out of her life and find her own way forward. He loved her because she took what life handed her and faced it head-on. When her mother was sick, and later when she was dying, Lily had stayed by her. She could have left her mom, married him, and lived with him in Georgia. But Lily never turned away when life dealt her a rough blow. He might have gone to war, but she was right. Compared to her, he was a coward, hiding for all those months in his Georgia apartment.
“I’ll go and I won’t camp out in front of your house.” He tried for a smile, but it felt a helluva lot more like a grimace. “You have your floodlights now. Plus, I managed to install that camera on your front porch.”
“Thank you,” she said. “That will help.”
He walked toward her and she stepped aside, allowing space for him to slip past. He paused. “I’ll take the file back and let my dad know that we jumped to the wrong conclusion.”
She handed over the manila folder. “He’ll keep the case open?”
“Yes. And, Lil, you have to promise that you’ll call him or call the station if someone threatens you. If you’re right, and he’s out there . . .”
She nodded. “I will.”
He reached out and ran his good hand over her cheek. “I’ll see you around.”
“You’re not going back to Georgia?”
“No.” He made the decision in a split second. And not because she needed him here. This was his home. He couldn’t run from that fact any longer. He still didn’t have a clue what the future held, but he’d face that sad fact here.
“There’s nothing for me in Georgia,” he continued. “It’s time to call it quits on my extended pity party.” He withdrew his hand from her face. “When does school start again?”
“Staff returns in two weeks. I’ll have some time to set up my classroom before the kids arrive.”
He held back the words “you’ll be OK by then.” He couldn’t know for sure and he was done lying to her—or telling half-truths. It didn’t matter if they ran into each other in the grocery store and she asked how he was doing. He wouldn’t lie. If he were heartsick over her new boyfriend, he’d damn well tell her.
“Take care, Lily.”
He turned and walked out of the kitchen. He headed straight for his blue rental, his limbs moving on autopilot while his heart begged and pleaded with him to turn the fuck around. He ignored that pesky organ. The damn thing had survived two rounds to the chest. It would live through this latest heartbreak.
He turned on the car, and at ten in the morning, drove to the one bar in Forever that he knew would let him in. And Noah damn well better serve him.
Ignoring the Closed sign, he pounded on the door. Five harsh knocks and his fist met with air as the door swung open. His best friend, the high school quarterback Dominic had busted his ass to protect on the field, stared back at him.
“Mistaking this place for a coffee house now?” Noah asked.
“I know you have a pot made. I can smell it from here.” Dominic pushed past him and walked into the empty bar. He claimed one of the barstools. “But right now I need to chase it with a shot of whiskey.”
Noah closed the door and walked around behind the bar. He poured the coffee. Then grabbed a bottle from the top shelf. It looked fancy. But hell if Dominic cared right now. He wanted it to burn going down and knock some sense into him.
“Is that all?” Noah asked dryly.
“No.” Dominic tossed back the shot and slammed the glass down on the bar. “I need a job.”
“You chose one helluva way to ask, coming in here and demanding free liquor before noon.” Noah folded his arms in front of his chest. “All the bartenders report to Josie. Sure you want to work for your sister?”
Dominic rested his right hand on the bar’s polished surface and picked up his coffee with his left hand. “I don’t have a choice.”
“Your dad would take you back on the force for a while.”
“He would, but I can’t shoot worth shit right now. And my handwriting is crap. But I can pour a beer and mix a martini.”
Noah sighed. “Your resume’s better than half my staff. But look, I need to keep this place profitable. It’s not just about me.”
“It never was. You joined the marines to send money home,” Dominic pointed out. “But I get where you’re coming from. You have Josie and Isabelle too. And I know my sister still has some debt to pay off. I’m not going to screw up. I’ll even bounce for you if you need it.”
“I know you can do the job.” Noah rested his hands on the bar and leaned forward. “But how long are you going to stay?”
“I’m not going anywhere if I can help it,” he said. “As long as Lily’s living here, I’m staying.”
Noah let out a low whistle. “Things are serious again?”
“No.” He took a sip of his coffee. “She kicked me out of her bed and her life.”
Noah stared at him and pity lined his furrowed brow. Unable to take it, Dominic held out his shot glass with his right hand. “I need another.”
His best friend nodded and picked up the bottle. “She ended things because they caught the guy?”
“You heard about the arrest?” Dominic accepted the glass and poured it down his throat in one swift swallow. Looked as if his damaged hand was good for something after all—taking shots.
And getting Lily off in the bathroom.
“I heard from Josh. He told me that he ran into you two ‘celebrating’ behind th
e bar.” Noah raised his hands, palms out. “I don’t want to hear anymore. I’m just glad you didn’t leave the bar in the same state as the staff bathroom.”
“It’s not the guy.” Dominic held up his coffee cup for a refill too and Noah turned around for the pot. “I showed her the mug shot this morning.”
With a fresh cup of joe, Dominic gave the down-and-dirty overview of the conversation.
“So she told you to go and you walked out the door? Knowing the guy’s still out there?” Noah asked. “Did you leave her with a gun?”
“She can’t shoot. Never could. Plus, it’s been six weeks. If I think with my brain instead of my . . . If I rely on logic and trust the police report, I know no one’s come after her. My dad’s still right. It was random, but she’s too caught up in the lingering anxiety to realize that now.”
“You’re willing to risk her safety on that?” Noah demanded.
“I’m not saying I won’t drive by her house after I sober up a bit. And again later tonight. Probably again the next day and the one after that. But, man, I need to respect the fact that she is trying to pull her life back together. I want that for her. More than I want to figure out what the hell I’m doing with my life.”
Noah nodded. “Sounds like you’re working here now. That’s a good first step.”
“Yeah, it is.” But they both knew he needed to heal on the inside. And a big part of that was coming to terms with the fact that he’d never be Lily’s hero.
“And you’ll still be nearby in case Lily changes her mind,” Noah said slowly. “If you’re still interested.”
Dominic let out a laugh. If he was still interested? He would be interested in Lily Greene until he drew his last breath.
“I’ll take that as a yes,” Noah murmured.
“I’m fucking in love with her,” Dominic said. “I always have been. But I keep messing up. And if I have any hope for a future, I need to do this right. I have to earn her trust and hope that she’ll fall back in love with me.” He looked across the bar at Noah. “I can’t afford another mistake. If I get another shot with Lily, I can’t fail.”
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