Anna sighed loudly and took a big gulp from her beer cup. “I’m depressed. The lawyer’s pressuring me to sign. He told me Kevin wants custody of Cody as well, since he’s taking the rest of the kids when he moves out—can you believe it?”
“But didn’t he send you a gift certificate to a spa the other day?” Jacqui asked, trying to rally. Her instincts had been right—Kevin would be taking the kids. She would be out of a job for sure!
“He did, but I’m sure his secretary just ordered it. He never buys gifts himself,” Anna noted shrewdly.
Jacqui tried not to blush, since she herself had ordered the certificate but had put it under Kevin’s name.
“But what about the iPod with all those songs?” Jacqui asked urgently.
Anna shrugged. “I guess.”
“He can’t want a divorce. I think he’s just playing games—he wants you to think he wants out so he can win you back,” Jacqui said.
“What are you talking about?” Anna asked. “I’m confused.”
“Sometimes, asking for a divorce is just a sign of love,” Jacqui said desperately, trying to channel Dr. Phil–like mumbo jumbo. She had to make Anna believe it.
“I don’t know. Maybe it’s for the best.” Anna sighed. “Maybe I should just sign the papers, take Cody, and move back to Jersey. I just want to feel young again. All the passion is gone from our marriage. In the beginning—oh, it was crazy. He was crazy about me. Couldn’t divorce Brigitte fast enough. But now . . .” Her voice trailed off. They heard the pounding sound of Kanye West snarling about gold diggers in the background.
“I think the divorce is just a smoke screen. I think Kevin’s planning something really special for the two of you,” Jacqui said, as sincerely as she could. This was terrible. Operation Parent Trap was a bust—Kevin’s “gifts” hadn’t seemed to make an impression. And so far, Jacqui hadn’t been able to come up with a way to get the two of them in the same city.
“You think so?” Anna asked hopefully.
“Trust me. It’s just a sign that he’s serious about you. He loves you.”
“He used to, anyway,” Anna said doubtfully.
Their conversation was cut short when cries of, “Anna! Anna! Anna’s turn!” arose from the Beirut table.
“Oh, I should go—it’s my turn!” Anna said, skipping happily back to the drinking game.
Jacqui bit her lip. She would have to find another way to really convince Anna that Kevin was still in love with her short of Kevin actually coming out and saying so. Although that seemed to be the only way Anna would ever believe her husband was still interested in her. Suddenly, the prospect of going back to São Paulo at the end of the summer seemed inevitable, and Jacqui felt the mean reds coming on—if only she could find someone to talk to, to make her feel better, the way Ben had the night they had first kissed.
“We get all kinds here,” Grant mused, coming up behind Jacqui and watching Anna funnel three pints of beer at once. “Your boss, right?”
“Uh-huh.” Jacqui nodded, still thinking about the disappointment her grandmother would feel once she found out Jacqui had failed to get accepted into an American college like she had planned. But Grant was still talking and had put his arms around her waist, pulling her close.
“She came over the other night complaining about the noise. But then she realized she’d met us before—at that club, with you. So Duffy just invited her in—and, well, she’s come over every night of the week now.”
“Don’t you think that’s weird? I mean, she’s, like, forty.” Anna was actually a few years shy of that date, but she might as well have been retirement age to Jacqui, who at seventeen thought twenty-five ancient.
“Yeah, but Duffy thinks she’s a MILF. So, there you go.” Grant shrugged, leading her to the den off the living room where they could be alone. He locked the door behind them and returned to nuzzle her neck briefly, planting soft butterfly kisses. Kisses that normally would make her knees weak and her heart melt, but when he started unbuttoning her shirt, Jacqui didn’t feel like making out just then.
She pushed his hands away and removed herself from his embrace, holding her shirt closed and looking him in the eye. The guys probably thought it was hilarious that their uptight neighbor was playing drinking games, but Jacqui didn’t think it was that funny. “I just don’t think it’s such a good idea to encourage her to visit. I mean, how can she get her marriage back on track if all she’s doing is hanging out here?”
“Huh?” Grant had already forgotten the topic of conversation. “Who cares?” he asked, putting his arms around her again and kissing her forehead, then her nose, and finally her lips. He gently pulled her arms away so that he could finish removing her top. His fingers stroked her bare stomach.
Jacqui sighed and rolled over. There were worse things one could do to pass the time than fool around with a cute boy, but just then, it was the last thing she felt like doing.
sometimes, manhattan can be an escape from the hamptons. . . .
BY NOW, MARA WAS SO used to getting in everywhere in the Hamptons that when the PR girl at the door stopped her friends from entering the CD release party for some new hip-hop act, she was momentarily blindsided.
“But they’re with me,” she argued. “I’m with Hamptons. Lucky’s already here?”
“I know, Mara, and we’re really glad to have you, but we’re oversubscribed right now. I’m sorry. I can only get you in plus one,” Mitzi’s assistant said. “Not plus two.”
“It’s not a big deal.” Jacqui shrugged. “I can go.”
“No, stay where you are,” Mara ordered.
“Forget it—let’s go,” Eliza said. “I don’t want to stand around and argue with the clipboard patrol all night. Let’s just get a drink across the street. We can pay for our drinks sometimes, you know.”
“But my column,” Mara protested, thinking she still needed a few items for the piece.
“Oh, Mara, c’mon. One night off? All you do is run around with your notepad and recorder. Didn’t Sam Davis already say you were doing such a great job, you remind her of her when she was young? Can’t you just kick back and forget about your column for one night? Just hang out with us; no getting up to talk to celebrities. Okay?” Eliza asked.
“All right,” Mara conceded. “I guess I could just write from the pictures tomorrow.” She’d quickly become a pro at structuring her column to highlight Lucky’s candid photographs.
“That’s the spirit.” Eliza smiled.
* * *
They settled into a couch near the door and ordered drinks. Jacqui was just telling them about the latest Anna Perry transformation when Taylor and Lindsay walked inside the bar. The two used to be Eliza’s best friends, back when she was still the most popular girl at Spence, but they had dropped her like last year’s Uggs when they discovered Eliza’s family had lost all their money and Eliza had been reduced to working as an au pair.
“Oh, hey,” Eliza said. Since her family was back in the black, her old friends from New York were cordial. Not that she cared one bit.
Lindsay merely shrugged, but Taylor’s response was warmer. “Hey, E., I heard you got into Princeton—good job,” she said.
“Thanks. Where are you headed?”
“I got rejected from Yale. Can you believe? My grandfather threatened to revoke his donation. But I got into Brown, thank God. So it’s all good. Providence can’t be any worse than New Haven anyway.”
“How about you, Linds?”
“Oh, NYU for me,” Lindsay said, exhaling a plume of cigarette smoke. “Close to home. I gotta get back to the city next weekend for some pre-frosh event.”
“Anyway, see you around, Eliza,” Taylor said.
“Hey, aren’t you working at Lunch these days?” Lindsay smirked.
Eliza ignored the question, turning to Jacqui instead. “Are you going back for the pre-frosh thing? You should go. They, like, give tours of the campus and talk about the classes and stuff. I’m sure Anna will give you the weeke
nd off. Shannon can take care of the kids.”
“Oh, me? I, uh, I don’t know,” Jacqui said weakly.
“You have to go,” Eliza insisted. “You need to scope out the boys and stake out the best dorms. Otherwise, you might end up in social Siberia.”
“Yeah, Jac, you know what? We should all go!” Mara piped up. A weekend in New York sounded like an excellent plan.
“Oh my God. What a great idea! Totally!” Eliza nodded. “The three of us haven’t been in the city all at the same time—how awesome will that be?”
“Work has been crazy—I totally need a break from Sam Davis. Today she made me hunt down a milk chocolate Mounds bar. And after searching everywhere, I finally found out they only make them in dark chocolate. There is no such thing as a milk chocolate Mounds. But do you think she believed me? Plus, a bunch of people from Ryan’s frat are coming in and staying with us next weekend. I think I’ll avoid getting on that train.” Mara shuddered. Ryan’s friends from college were nice enough individually, but as a group, they devolved into meathead city. What was it about boys that reduced them to video-game-playing, beer-swilling, immature, testosterone-pumped adolescents when they were all together? “Anyway, maybe while I’m there, I can get a tour of Columbia as well. I still haven’t heard from Dartmouth.”
“It’s settled, then: we’re going. Jacqui can do the NYU thing, Mara can visit Columbia, and all of us can hang out and shop,” Eliza decided.
They high-fived each other giddily. Jacqui’s heart sank. How could she tell them she wasn’t going to NYU? She couldn’t. As for watching the kids, Shannon could hold down the fort at home as well as keep Operation Parent Trap going. The spa certificate had been Shannon’s idea—not that it had done much good. Plus, a weekend in the city would be a much-needed break from Anna, who seemed to want Jacqui’s social life for her own.
It would be yet another escape.
She downed her drink quickly and looked longingly at the crowd mingling by the jukebox. She tapped her foot impatiently, thinking it would be fun to join them. As if on cue, she spotted a familiar face by the bar and waved him over.
“Hello, ladies,” Ben Defever said, looking adorably owlish behind his square-rimmed glasses. “Mind if I steal Jacqui away for a moment?”
Eliza and Mara traded knowing smiles. “Go ahead,” Mara urged.
Jacqui practically leaped off her seat and followed Ben to the impromptu dance floor. She began shaking her hips wildly to an infectious Outkast hit, but Ben just stood aside, nursing his drink.
“Don’t you want to dance?” she pleaded.
“It’s so loud in here. Let’s go find somewhere we can really talk,” Ben suggested, cupping his mouth and yelling so that he could be heard above the music.
“Oh, all right.” Jacqui sighed and let him lead her to a quiet corner. Talking just didn’t hold the same appeal as dancing did right then. If only she’d bumped into Duffy instead—he could always be counted on for a hilarious Napoleon Dynamite impersonation on the dance floor.
But when you’re dating three boys at the same time, sometimes you end up in the right place with the wrong boy.
shannon tries her hand at a little identity theft
THE LIGHTS IN THE AU pairs’ room were still shining when Jacqui returned later that evening from a grueling conversation with Ben in a coffee shop next to the bar. All she’d wanted to do was chill out, but Ben had been more interested in really delving into a serious discussion on her feelings. He’d dropped her off at the main house, and she had barely made her way to the au pairs’ cottage when she bumped into Duffy, who was bouncing by on a pogo stick on the way to the beach.
But after the caffeine-and-analysis session with Ben, Duffy’s crazy antics left her cold, and all she wanted to do was lie on the beach and let him hold her.
Sadly, Duffy had other ideas. He couldn’t keep still, and for a moment Jacqui wished she were with Grant, who really knew how to make a girl feel good. Finally, she’d said good night after Duffy slightly twisted his ankle on a hard landing and had to limp back home. Jacqui shook her head: boys. They offered so much and too little at the same time.
* * *
“You’re still up?” Jacqui asked, noticing Shannon sitting upright in the middle of the single bed, tapping on a laptop computer.
“Wait till you see what I found,” Shannon crowed, excitement in her voice. The newest au pair had thrown herself into Operation Parent Trap with gusto and enjoyed coming up with schemes to manipulate the Perrys into thinking they were in love.
“Come look,” Shannon said, and Jacqui sat down on the bed next to her.
Jacqui looked at the screen. “Isn’t that . . . ?”
“Anna’s. I know. I took it from her office. Laurie left the key in the kitchen the other day and I swiped it.”
Shannon typed a bunch of keystrokes and Anna’s e-mail outbox came up.
“How’d you get her password?” Jacqui asked.
“Easy, it’s all stored in the memory. I’m Korean; we’re, like, computer geniuses, right?” Shannon smirked. “A kid could figure it out.”
Shannon clicked on an envelope icon, launching an e-mail, and filled in Kevin’s e-mail address in the “to” box.
“I think it’s time Kevin got a love letter from his wife, don’t you think?” the younger girl asked.
Jacqui was impressed. Faking e-mail love notes certainly ratcheted up the game. Shannon typed:
Dear Kevin, I’m so sorry I’ve been so crazy. I can’t bear to be apart from you. You know you’re the only one for me. This has gone far enough. I miss you and can’t fall asleep without knowing you are by my side. I hope your ear is okay. I can’t live with knowing I’ve hurt you. Call off the dogs and let’s get back together again. Yours always, Snugglepuss. It was the nickname everyone in the house knew Kevin called Anna. Anna had even had it embroidered on one of her boudoir pillows.
“Nice, huh?” Shannon asked with a cheeky grin. She clicked on the send icon and sent the love note whizzing into cyberspace. Afterward, she went to the sent-mail folder and deleted the e-mail so that Anna would never see it.
Jacqui was still marveling at the younger au pair’s creativity when Shannon launched another window. This time, she typed in the mobile address for Kevin’s law firm. With speedy efficiency, Shannon accessed his e-mail account as well. “He uses her laptop sometimes. All I needed to do was find all the cookies, and the computer had stored all his passwords, too.”
Jacqui nodded, watching over Shannon’s shoulder as she began typing:
Dearest Anna, I think I made a mistake. Please forgive me. I’m lost without you. You’re as beautiful as you were when I first saw you in my office and we snuck off to the Regency Hotel. Remember those days? You were my secret and now you are my future. I still love you. Your own, Kevinbear. P.S: My ear is healing nicely.
“Kevinbear?” Jacqui gagged.
“I saw it in some old e-mails.” Shannon snickered. Like all the staff in the Perry household, Shannon was caught up in the history of her employers’ marriage and knew that Anna was the secretary with whom Kevin had been having an affair before she became his wife.
They checked Anna’s account. Kevin’s e-mail appeared in the new-mail folder.
“Do you think it’ll work?” Shannon asked.
Jacqui nodded. “Pretty sure it will on Anna’s side, at least. All she needs is a couple of groveling e-mails from him and she’ll start sending love notes on her own. The only problem is Kevin. What if he doesn’t want to get back together and sends e-mails saying so?”
“Well, I fixed it so that I get a text message whenever Anna gets a new mail from his account so that I can delete his real e-mails if they’re nasty,” Shannon explained. “I’m sure he’ll come around in time and send mushy notes of his own. You said yourself that he still loves her. In the meantime, we’ll just write them for him.”
Jacqui looked at Shannon in awe. “You’re a genius!”
“I know,�
�� Shannon said modestly. “Just call me Kevinbear.”
That did it. They started laughing hysterically. Faking a romance between their two warring employers was just too much—Jacqui felt tears coming to her eyes, and Shannon laughed so hard her shoulders shook and she almost dropped Anna’s laptop. Their mirth was interrupted when Madison suddenly appeared in the doorway. Jacqui had forgotten to lock the door when she entered.
Madison explained that she couldn’t sleep and was looking to see if Shannon was still up and interested in watching a movie in the screening room.
“What’s so funny?” Madison asked. She looked from Jacqui to Madison expectantly. “Tell me!”
Jacqui stopped laughing immediately and Shannon suddenly looked really guilty. To them, it was a bit of entertainment, but these were Madison’s parents they were talking about.
“Nothing—there’s, uh, a really funny video on DormDebauchery.com,” Shannon said, quickly covering up.
“Let me see,” Madison urged.
Shannon quickly closed all the windows and brought up the boys’ web site.
“That’s it?” Madison asked, unimpressed, when Shannon clicked on a video of a guy falling off his skateboard. She looked quizzically at the two of them. Shannon quickly looked away and didn’t meet her friend’s eyes.
Jacqui shrugged. “Mad, it’s past my bedtime, but if you and Shannon want to see Titanic again on the big screen, go ahead.”
“I think I’ll just go to bed,” Madison said coldly.
“I feel bad,” Shannon said when Madison had left. “We should tell her.”
“I know,” Jacqui agreed. “But she’ll tell the other kids, and then Anna will freak. Besides, once our plan works, she’ll never have to find out anything. They’ll be going off on a second honeymoon in no time. We’re giving them what they want most from each other—an apology.”
“Right.” Shannon nodded.
The two girls felt very pleased with the fake e-mail love letters. Operation Parent Trap would soon be a mission accomplished.
Shannon stowed the laptop away and said good night, turning out the lights. Jacqui climbed up on the top bunk, and for a moment, the room was quiet as the two girls drifted off to sleep. Until Shannon whispered, “Snugglepuss,” and that set them off once again.
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