by Susan Lewis
Billy, the chief location manager, was waiting in the lobby of the country hotel in which Kirsten, Laurence and the senior members of crew and cast were staying. He was sitting on a sofa with Jane and Tom, but when Laurence and Kirsten came in he leapt to his feet to congratulate them on how smoothly the first day had gone. As he spoke Kirsten could feel her lips twitching and steadfastly kept her eyes away from Alison, the designer, who was making lewd gestures with her hands in the background. Billy was the butt of most jokes on the unit. He was the neatest most compact little man imaginable, but it wasn’t his tidily-parted hair, his flannel slacks that sat a little too high on the waist and his immaculately knotted tie that were the reason for the jokes, though they had earned him the nick-name of Ken, Barbie Doll’s boyfriend – it was the mind-boggling size of his penis. No one could miss it, for he wore it pushed down the inside leg of his trousers like a truncheon.
‘Don’t do that,’ Kirsten muttered in Alison’s ear as Laurence went over to Tom and Billy followed. Billy was still wittering on and Laurence was doing his best to be polite as Alison’s eyes boggled in the direction of Billy’s crotch. Kirsten, Jean-Paul and Ruby were doubled up laughing as Laurence fought valiantly to keep a straight face.
As Laurence turned away to hide his laughter Billy looked round, bewildered by the hysteria. Jane, Kirsten vaguely noticed, looked extremely embarrassed and Tom was looking puzzled. Laurence scooped him quickly into his arms, shot a meaningful look at Kirsten and was about to go to the desk for his key when Anna Sage stepped out of the lift.
‘Laurence, darling,’ she sang out happily and walking over to him she stood on tip-toe to kiss him. ‘I hear everything went perfectly today.’
‘Yeah, I guess you could say that,’ Laurence answered, smiling down into her girlishly pretty face. ‘I see you got here all right. Was your assistant there to pick you up at the airport?’
‘She certainly was. Jean-Paul,’ she said, sliding a hand into her co-star’s, ‘how did the riding go? Ah, Kirsten, I didn’t see you there. Gosh, how do you manage to look so gorgeous when you’ve been out in that ghastly weather all day? Still, you must be relieved to have the first day over with. Why don’t we all go into the cosy little bar over there and have some champagne to celebrate? Do you have champagne?’ she asked the receptionist. ‘Yes, of course you do. Oh, it’s all so exciting isn’t it? I can’t wait to get started myself.’
As she spoke her arm was snuggling its way into Laurence’s and she was playfully teasing the curls away from Tom’s eyes as he rested his head on Laurence’s shoulder. Then suddenly breaking free she made her way to Kirsten and took her arm. ‘Is there anything you would like to discuss with me this evening?’ she asked, walking Kirsten towards the bar. ‘I have someone coming over from the local newspaper later to interview me, is there anything particular you would like me to say?’
‘You’d better discuss that with the publicist,’ Kirsten smiled, gently detaching her arm. ‘Now listen, please don’t think me rude, but I really have to get out of these wet clothes and into a hot bath. I’ll join you later, OK?’
‘Of course,’ Anna cried. ‘Of course. Can we have dinner together?’
‘Absolutely,’ Kirsten said. ‘I’ll come and find you around seven, OK?’
As Kirsten went to pick up her key Ruby joined her. ‘Do you reckon she’s gonna simper her way through the next eight weeks?’ Ruby hissed in Kirsten’s ear.
Kirsten turned aside to hide her smile. She didn’t want to encourage Ruby, but Ruby was right, as easygoing and co-operative as Anna was, she did simper.
To Kirsten and Jake’s relief the weather didn’t let up for the next five days causing them no continuity problems and lending its own inimical ambience to the scenes. There had, of course, been the odd hitch or two, there always were, but whatever obstacles, mysteries or misunderstandings coughed themselves up they were dealt with speedily and efficiently by a crew who was by now whole-heartedly behind Kirsten. They had all of them seen rushes, borrowing the video tape that was sent over from the labs in London for Laurence and Kirsten to view until such time as they could see the film itself in a projection theatre. Anna Sage’s performance was so outstanding that even Ruby was beginning to warm towards her and Jean-Paul’s indomitable charm was seeping into the camera in a way guaranteed to make any woman’s heart churn.
It was on the sixth day during yet another thunderstorm which was causing all sorts of problems for the sound crew that the first major mishap occurred. It was the middle of the afternoon and Kirsten and Anna were standing together beneath the castle’s bleak, bulging walls sheltering from the wind. Anna’s dresser was hovering beside them, having quickly slipped a fur-lined mac over Anna’s costume in order to keep her warm and holding an umbrella over them. The rest of the cast were in their trailers or snugly tucked up behind the steamy windows of the location buses, while the crew slithered about in the mud setting up for the next scene.
‘I’m terribly sorry about all those takes,’ Anna said to Kirsten. ‘It’s so hard keeping your head up in this wind.’
‘I know. But it was fine in the end,’ Kirsten assured her. ‘It was just that your dialogue kept getting muffled. We’ve got it now though.’
‘Was Laurence happy with it?’
‘I imagine so,’ Kirsten answered, watching Jake hoist himself up in the seat behind the camera to look through the view-finder. ‘If he wasn’t he’d have said.’
‘I just wondered because I saw him talking to you just now,’ Anna commented casually.
‘Oh, that was about something else,’ Kirsten answered, smiling to cover her irritation at Anna’s persistent need to know what Laurence thought.
‘Oh, I see.’ Anna tilted her bloodied and dirt-smeared face towards the keep of the castle as a flash of lightning forked from the sky. ‘Is he still angry about all the takes we’re having to do because of rain on the lens?’ she asked, watching the clouds swirl oppressively overhead.
Kirsten turned to her in surprise. ‘Angry?’ she repeated. ‘I didn’t know he was angry.’
Anna shrugged. ‘Well, not angry exactly, just concerned. And I was a little worried that he’d be cross that I was adding to the number of takes by not holding my head up.’
‘Don’t even think about it,’ Kirsten told her. ‘If the take is no good we won’t print it.’ She refrained from adding that as the director what she thought counted every bit as much as what Laurence thought, if not more. She didn’t want to show her growing irritation with Anna for she was very much aware of the gossip flying around the unit – Jake related it to her regularly. Everyone was laying odds on how long it was going to take for Anna to get Laurence into bed. For Kisten to give way to her feelings would only add to the speculation and it was bad enough trying to deal with them as it was. The sudden bolts of ice-cold jealousy that lurched through her every time she saw Anna and Laurence together huddled in private conversation at the edge of the set were already affecting her concentration though so far, thank God, no one seemed to have noticed.
Jake yelled out for her and she was just about to break away from the castle wall when a second dagger of lightning flashed down from the sky at the very instant a thunderbolt exploded into the castle-keep.
‘Good God!’ Anna choked, clinging to Kirsten. ‘What’s happening?’
‘I don’t know,’ Kirsten murmured, watching the scenes guys diving for cover. Suddenly she gasped. ‘Oh my God! The whole tower’s coming down. Quick!’ and dragging Anna by the arm she all but threw her out of the way.
In the commotion that followed it was a miracle no one got hurt. Kirsten scanned the milling crowd for a glimpse of Jane and Tom who she was certain she’d seen wandering towards the castle a few minutes ago. At first she couldn’t see them, but then, as Jake and his assistants parted in their different directions she saw them standing with Laurence in the middle of the set looking down at the ground. As Kirsten’s heart relaxed she was on the point of turning to chec
k on everyone else when she saw Anna Sage join the group. Immediately Laurence put an arm around Anna and hugged her to him, as though to comfort her, but then Kirsten realized that everyone was laughing. She couldn’t imagine what there was to laugh about when half of them had almost been killed, but then she saw Alison lying flat on her back in the mud kicking her feet and pounding her hands into the stagnant puddles around her. There was something going on over on the edge of the set too, but Kirsten couldn’t quite work out what it was – it wasn’t until much later that she discovered that Ruby had passed out from the shock of her near miss and had been carried off to the first-aid trailer.
‘I can’t believe it! I can’t believe it!’ Alison was screaming. ‘Tell me I’m dreaming. Tell me it’s a nightmare.’
‘What’s going on?’ Kirsten asked Laurence, coming to stand beside him.
‘I’ve just told her she’s got to rebuild the tower,’ Laurence winked.
Kirsten started to laugh, knowing as well as Laurence did that they had all the shots of the tower they needed. She allowed Alison to continue in the horror of the massive rebuild for a while longer, then deciding to put her out of her misery she shouted, ‘It’s all right, we’ve got all the establishers we need. There’s only one other wide and that’ll be from over on the other hill where we wouldn’t see the tower anyway.’
Alison froze in mid-tantrum and glared up at Laurence. Laurence was grinning. Alison stretched out a hand for him to haul her to her feet. Like a fool he took it and nearly found himself face down in the mud. At the last minute he managed to wrench himself out of her grasp, but nevertheless was too late to stop himself sinking to his knees.
The whole unit exploded into laughter while Laurence collected a fist full of mire and rubbed it in Alison’s face.
‘You bastard!’ she shouted. ‘I’m going to get you for this,’ and sitting bolt upright, she threw her arms around him and kissed him.
Seeing the way Kirsten and Anna were laughing Laurence pulled himself to his feet and started towards them. Both shrieked and turned to run, but Anna wasn’t quick enough and throwing her back in his arms Laurence kissed her full on the mouth then rubbed his cheeks against hers.
‘Oh, Laurence!’ the make-up girl cried. ‘I’m going to have to start all over again now.’
Laurence looked down at Anna’s face. ‘She looks just the same to me,’ he said and Kirsten winced. Not the most tactful of things to say to an artist who had spent three hours creating an effect, and make-up girls were notoriously sensitive.
‘All right! That’s enough!’ a voice suddenly boomed behind her. ‘We’re already an hour behind schedule so we can’t afford time out for horse-play. Everybody back in position.’
‘He’s a bundle of laughs, isn’t he?’ Anna murmured to Kirsten as David, the first assistant, lifted his walkietalkie to yell at one of the chargehands.
‘He’s OK,’ Kirsten answered, still laughing as Laurence went off to clean himself up. ‘I know he’s not much fun, but he’s good at his job. Oh my goodness!’ she suddenly cried. ‘Tom! Tom! What are you doing? Oh, heavens, Tom, stop that . . .’
But Tom’s face was already covered in mud, so were his hands, his feet, in fact everything he was wearing.
Kirsten started towards him not realizing until it was too late that he was only doing what Laurence had done, for, as she scooped him up in her arms he threw his own about her neck and kissed her.
‘You little monkey!’ she cried, trying to turn her face away. ‘Tom, stop it!’
‘I’m sorry,’ Jane laughed, grabbing him. ‘Come here you little rascal,’ she said, pulling him into her arms.
Tom went and they all laughed as Jane got the same treatment as Kirsten.
‘You know what Daddy said,’ Jane chuckled, trying to hold him away from her. ‘No one’s supposed even to know you’re here otherwise we’ll have to go home.’
At that Kirsten reached out to ruffle Tom’s curls. If no one was supposed to know about them then either Jane or Laurence had failed in their task, for even after just this short time Tom had become the most popular member of the crew. Particularly, she’d noticed, with the props department, for there were a myriad of things in the prop vans to keep a young mind agog for hours.
‘So that’s where you’ve got to.’
Kirsten, Jane and Anna turned as Laurence came striding back towards them. Obviously he’d got waylaid somewhere on the way to cleaning up because there was still mud on his face. In fact, as he sat Tom on his hip the two of them looked quite a picture. ‘You, young man, are getting right into the shower with me and then it’s off to sleep for you.’
‘I don’t want to sleep,’ Tom declared. ‘I want to stay here.’
‘I expect you do, but you don’t have any choice in the matter.’ He looked over at Anna. ‘They want you in make-up,’ he said. ‘They reckon you need a cleaning up too.’
‘Oh, sounds like fun,’ Anna said grinning at Kirsten. ‘Three of us in the same shower.’
‘You’re beginning to sound like Alison,’ Laurence frowned. ‘In fact,’ he added, looking at Kirsten’s muddy face, ‘it kind of looks to me like it should be you joining us in the shower.’
It was evident, the moment he’d said it, that both of them wished he hadn’t, for at the very suggestion of such an intimacy Kirsten felt the colour rising in her cheeks and despite his wry smile Laurence couldn’t have looked more uncomfortable if he’d tried.
Anna’s eyebrows were raised as she looked from one to the other and it was apparent that she was wondering if she hadn’t stumbled upon something here. However, for the moment, she said nothing, she merely took Laurence’s arm and they walked off towards the make-up trailers.
‘Where is he? I got to speak to him. I got to speak to him now!’ Ruby declared, pushing her way past Jane into Laurence’s room.
‘He’s gone out for dinner with Jake,’ Jane answered, dismayed at the unmistakable whiff of alcohol that had come in with Ruby.
‘Well at least he’s not off somewhere with the Simpering Sage,’ Ruby slurred. Her lipstick was smudged and there were dark circles under her eyes. This wasn’t the first time Jane had seen her drunk, but it was the first time she was having to cope with it.
‘Is there something I can do?’ Jane asked. ‘Can I give him a message.’
‘Yeah. You can tell him from me that he’s got to stop this movie now,’ Ruby declared, blinking hard as though to clear her vision. ‘Have you got anything to drink here?’
‘Uh, no, I don’t think we have,’ Jane answered.
‘Never mind. I’ve got some right here,’ Ruby said delving into her bag. ‘That bloody French witch told me this would happen,’ she gasped, after taking a large mouthful. ‘She said “you’ll see a castle fall.” Well it fell, didn’t it? It fell and it was a goddamned miracle no one was killed. So we got to stop now before someone is.’
Jane stared at her.
‘Well don’t just stand there,’ Ruby barked, ‘get me a glass.’
Jane hurried off to the bathroom and brought one back.
‘Where’s Tom?’ Ruby demanded.
‘Asleep.’
‘Well you just keep your eye on that boy. She said it was a girl, but I’m not so sure. You make sure you don’t let that boy out of your sight. A child and a baby, she said, so who the hell is that would you say?’
The corner of Jane’s mouth pursed uncertainly.
‘Yeah, I know, you think I’m crazy,’ Ruby snorted. ‘Well I thought she was crazy until today . . . Coming out with all that claptrap about castles falling, people dying and babies smashing to bits . . . What’s she talking about, that’s what I want to know? She said it was me, inside me. But I didn’t do nothing to make that tower come down . . .’
‘It was a thunderbolt,’ Jane said lamely.
‘Yeah, but was it? Oh you can look at me anyways you like but I’m telling you that I want this movie stopped.’
‘But everything’s goi
ng so well,’ Jane protested.
‘For you, maybe. Got yourself a boyfriend I see.’
Jane’s colour looked almost painful as she turned to Billy who Ruby had only just noticed sitting on the sofa.
Ruby laughed. ‘Well don’t let me interrupt you guys no more, just tell Laurence I want to see him the minute he gets back,’ and with that she walked from the room staggering slightly as she reached the door.
‘No, no, no,’ Kirsten laughed, tossing back her thick hair which was gleaming like copper in the flickering firelight, ‘you’ve got it all wrong, Anna. There’s very definitely nothing between Laurence and me these days, at least not on the personal front.’
‘Are you sure?’ Anna frowned, curling her delicate limbs into the deep armchair opposite the one Kirsten was sitting in. ‘I mean, did you see the way he looked at you earlier?’
‘I’m quite sure,’ Kirsten smiled, experiencing a pleasing lift in her heart as she sipped the creamy Guinness they’d had delivered to Anna’s room.
‘So is what they’re all saying true then? I mean about you and Jake?’
‘What about me and Jake?’
‘Oh come on, you know what I’m talking about. And we’re girls together here, you can tell me.’
‘Actually,’ Kirsten said, ‘people have been talking about Jake and me ever since he started on the movie and no one’s yet come up with any proof.’
Anna grinned. ‘Except I saw him coming out of your room very early the other morning. Don’t worry, my lips are sealed.’
Kirsten was shaking her head and laughing. ‘If you’d happened to come into my room,’ she said, ‘then you’d have seen Jake’s entire crew. We all had breakfast together.’
‘It’s OK, it’s OK,’ Anna said, holding up her hands. ‘If you don’t want to talk about it I’ll stop prying. But I’ll tell you this, if Laurence weren’t around I’d give you a run for your money over Jake. He’s absolutely gorgeous.’
‘Mmm. I imagine his wife thinks so too.’