Wild Side

by Cynthia Ayman

  I plaster a smile on my face like everybody else and clap as if I care in the slightest about what’s happening aside from the fact that my one-night stand is literally standing on the other side of the altar.

  I might be mad - because I’m not stupid, and I’m pretty sure he lied to me on purpose - but I also can’t help but notice how good he looks. Formal clothes suit him as well as a pair of jeans and a white T-shirt. He didn’t shave, and I’m glad because I love his scruff.

  Todd looks like a frat boy compared to him, and I pity Cassie because I just know that last night was the kind of sex she will never have with her knob of a fiancé. Scratch that. Her knob of a husband. I might have only gotten one night of wild monkey sex, but at least I can be hopeful for the rest of my life.

  As the bridal party starts following the newlyweds, Apa pushes one of the groomsmen ahead of him, purposely messing with the established order. I’m not sure if I’m mad or not.

  On the one hand, I don’t really want to talk to him right now. I’m still firmly on the pissed-off side, only worsened by the fact that I, as I told you, haven’t eaten since this morning.

  On the other, holy shit my official bridesmaid picture will look good with the man candy by my side.

  I’m a little vain, so the prospect of showing off to my friends wins. I smile brightly as I accept his arm, which seems to surprise him. He grins back at me, his eyes heating up when he glances down at my impressive cleavage. He probably thinks I’m mostly happy to see him again and is trying to figure out how to get me in a closet sooner rather than later.

  Don’t get too cocky, I warn him in my head. I’m probably going to rip you a new one by the end of the day, I just have my priorities straight.

  I’m not sure exactly what happened, or why he didn’t tell me, but I know enough to be comfortable in my burgeoning anger. Somehow, he played me.

  OK, the game was nice. Really nice. Still.

  We pause as we reach the double-doors threshold, and I beam at the photographer as I picture myself telling my grandkids about my torrid affair with a bad boy when I was young and wild like them.

  I’ll probably skip the part where I cut off his balls for lying to me, though.

  A part of me knows I shouldn’t react that way. A hook-up by essence means you don’t owe anything to the other party. But we didn’t just have sex. We talked too. And even though I am no fool and didn’t expect it to turn into a love story, I still feel betrayed that those nice moments were not as real as I had thought. A girl has her pride, you know? I feel a little silly because even though it was a one-night stand, I was honest and open with him. He wasn’t.

  Damn, it really kinda stings.

  Everyone is headed toward the reception room on the other side of the inn, and I’m following the crowd until Apa pulls me to the side. Everyone is so cheerful and in such a hurry to get to the crab cakes that I don’t think anyone notices.

  I don’t blame them. I was really looking forward to the crab cakes myself. Apa keeping me from them is just adding to my list of things I’m pissed at him about.

  It’s not a very long list. So far, it has ‘you lied to me, you son of a bitch’ and the crab cakes.

  Apa is guiding me toward an exit and eventually stops when we reach a small patio. It’s deserted, but I can see it’s ready for tonight’s celebrations. I remember Cassie babbling about fireworks at nighttime, and I guess that’s where the show will happen.

  I walk to a high table then turn to face him, summoning my inner Meryl Streep in The Devil Wears Prada. I cross my arms over my chest and hold my chin high. “Well?” I say in a sharp tone. That single word is worthy of an Academy Award. It’s icy, snappy, and cuts through us like an invisible whip. My name is Abigail Jones, Goddess of Wrath, and I’m going to make him pay for all the crap men have been pulling on women since the beginning of time. It’s my mission, and nothing will stop me.

  OK, fine. The crab cakes will stop me, but I promise I’ll hold strong until then.

  He has the decency to look sheepish. Which makes me even more mad, because he really can pull off that look. Ever seen a bad boy with tattoos looking at you with a guilty wince? The tattoos might be safely hidden under his clothes, but I know they exist.

  “Abby, I’m sorry,” he starts, lifting his hands in an appeasing move. “I should have come clean.”

  “You think?” All these hours spent practicing my one eyebrow lift are paying off right now. I mastered that shit for a reason, and it’s so I can cock my eyebrow at him. I ace it too. Meryl, I’m coming for your Oscars.

  He licks his lips and shifts on his feet. “Fuck,” he breathes out as he rubs the back of his neck.

  “It’s not that I don’t appreciate seeing you uncomfortable, but I’m starving, so if all you’re going to do is mumble, I’d very much prefer to head to the appetizers.”

  “No. I mean… I thought you were cute, alright?”

  I roll my eyes. I can’t help it. Men always think I’m cute. I’m not the pretty or gorgeous kind and I know it. I’m OK with it. But it’s not helping his case to remind me how I’m nothing special.

  “At the bar,” he specifies. “I didn’t notice you at first, until you started playing with your phone. I saw you and thought, damn she’s cute. Then you snapped a picture of me before I even had the chance to offer you a drink. I would have, too.”

  “O… kay,” I trail off, wondering where this is heading. It’s good that we only met yesterday because if we have to go back down memory lane, I don’t want to linger too much.

  I’ve already told you about the crab cakes.

  “You ran away, and I was so fucking astonished that you actually went with it and snapped a picture of me, in a bar you’ve never been to before. Ballsy. I liked it,” he admits with a little smile. “I went back to the clubhouse, and Spike was telling the brothers about this hot brunette whose car had broken down. The description was fitting. Edmond is a small town. The odds that two banging brunettes would end up here at the same time were slim. Mick confirmed it and even told me you were on your way to Sonoma county for a wedding.”

  My impeccable scolding mistress expression slips from my face. “You knew even before I told you? Before you asked me to dinner?”

  He nods. “Yeah. That’s why I asked Mick to let me bring your car back. Well, two prospects brought it back, I followed on my bike and waited until they were gone. Didn’t want to scare you.”

  I realize then that I never wondered how he managed to drive back my car and his bike. I was probably too dumbstruck to pay attention to that kind of detail. “What kind of prospects do you have?” I ask, because why would I be scared of them?

  “They’re kids,” he chuckles. “But seeing how you ran away from the bar, I figured opening the door to three bikers wouldn’t have been a good start.”

  He does have a point. And it also explains why he automatically gave me space when I did open the door. He’s good at reading people.

  Apa bites his lips, his gaze shifting over my shoulder. “This is where you’re probably gonna get really pissed. Please let me explain until the end?”

  I hesitate. Because I’m not sure my time is worth whatever explanations he wants to give me. I’m also not positive my self-esteem can take the hit I suspect is about to follow. Don’t ask me why, but I have a feeling he’s right. I’m gonna get really pissed.

  Eventually, curiosity wins. I nod.

  “I used to date Cassie.”

  My mouth drops. I find myself looking for something to throw at him, but the bastard is lucky there is nothing around me.

  He seems to sense that his physical integrity is in danger because he continues. “And Todd is my brother.”

  Forget the not-finding-anything-to-throw-at-him detail. I’m about to go all Hulk on his ass and smash a table on his head. I’m so mad, I’m sure I could lift that thing with one hand.

  I slept with someone who shares DNA with Todd-the-knob. And who probably had sex with-
>
  Oh shit. Gross.

  “Ew. You and your brother slept with the same girl? And oh my God, my cousin and I slept with the same man?!”

  I hate Cassie and don’t really consider her family, but it’s beside the point. She has made it a lifetime mission to be as mean as possible to me. Calling me names when we’re growing up because I was the chubby kind. I still am and even though she stopped calling me Piglet, her eyes tell me that’s still how she refers to me when I’m not around. It hurt a lot when I was young. Now, I just want her to have the nerve to say it to my face, so I can snap back with her needing to have a boob job before her twenty-fifth birthday.

  “It was a while ago. Before my last tour in Afghanistan. We weren’t serious, only went on a few dates together. She said she wanted us to see if we could survive the long-distance bit. Originally, I wasn’t supposed to stay oversea so long… Anyway, that point is moot. I honestly was expecting her to tell me if she wanted to cut things off. I was clear with her, I wouldn’t have blamed her. It’s not easy to have a long-distance relationship.”

  “And?”

  “Well, Todd and I always… we’ve never been close. We’re only half-brothers, by the way. We have the same father, not the same mom. My mother had full custody, and I didn’t even spend that much time with my dad until he retired from the army. I was an accident, he never married my mom, I don’t even have his name. He met Louisa when I was two, they got married, and Todd arrived one year later. I never considered him my brother, we never grew up together. But there was always some kind of competition between us. I think I might have resented him a little when I was young. I mean, our father had preferred to live with him and his mom, and not with us.”

  I find myself feeling a little sorry for him. Or at least for the little boy who must have wondered why his father had picked the other family instead of him.

  “My mom always did everything she could so things would be as smooth as possible. Louisa, too. She’s a nice woman and always made sure I felt welcome in her home. If it wasn’t for the two of them nagging me, I wouldn’t have come,” he admits in a grumble. “See, when I enrolled in the Marines, it made my father proud. His son following in his footsteps, even if he would have preferred I chose the Rangers. Todd started to resent me for that. I was also successful with the girls and…”

  I hold up a hand. No need to linger on that. I’ve seen both men and there is no competition there. Apa is a stallion. Todd is a zebra at best.

  “Todd graduated and started to work for his grandfather’s company. He was making good money, and I think he must have felt like finally he was having one over me.”

  Probably. Todd is one of those who like to flaunt their success.

  “I don’t know how he met Cassie but… next thing I knew she was cheating on me with him.”

  “What?” I exclaim in a laugh. Who in their right mind would go from Apa to Todd? I had expected Apa breaking up with Cassie who, by some weird coincidence, met the rich preppy boy afterward, not her willingly going from a ten to a maybe five. I’m not even talking about looks, by the way. Todd is good-looking. But he’s a tool. And his voice is all squeaky. There is a reason I nicknamed him Todd-the-knob and it has nothing to do with whatever is in his pants. I saw him in a swimsuit once and, believe me, it doesn’t seem like there is anything remarkable going on down there.

  “Yeah.” Apa shrugs. “I wasn’t in love with her or anything but damn. You don’t do that. Go after a girl who’s dating your step-brother, and especially not when-”

  “When he just got sent to war,” I finish for him. Because yikes. That is extremely low. “What an asshole.”

  “Couldn’t say it better.”

  “What does it have to do with me though?”

  He coughs, and that tells me that the pissing me off part is about to start. Ladies and gentlemen, grab your popcorn, you’re about to witness a murder. “Cassie still wants me.”

  Ugh?

  “I know it sounds arrogant, but I also know women enough to read her correctly. She still looks at me like she wants to undress me.”

  “I’m not judging her,” I blurt out. “Cheating on you, that I’m definitely judging. You don’t do that. But I’m sorry, any straight woman who has eyes would… never mind.”

  He gives me a one-sided grin. Asshole. It’s a good grin and he knows it. “I’m not hung up on her. Or feeling bitter over Todd stealing the love of my life or some shit. I know Cassie enough to tell you that the two of us would have never made it more than a few months, no matter the circumstances. But I can’t deny that the idea to get back at them was tempting. And… well, you’re gorgeous. It’s not exactly like I wouldn’t have been interested anyway.”

  “You wanted to sleep with me to get back at them?” Ouch. That hurts.

  “Fuck, that sounds so immature when you say it out loud. Listen, Abby, it’s no secret to you that I like sex. I like women. I saw you, thought you were hot. Then found out that fucking you would probably piss Cassie off. Which would in return probably make Todd’s wedding night even lamer than what it would have been anyway. I saw me having a fucking great time with a hot chick while at the same time making sure that… you know… Karma.”

  I try to process everything he is telling me. He doesn’t let me, though.

  “Abby. Yes, me showing up at your door was to get back at them in a very stupid, manly way. But me spending the night with you was because I wanted to. I didn’t plan on sleeping over. I like you. Cassie and Todd were out of my mind as soon as I kissed you. We had a great time, didn’t we?”

  “Yes,” I begrudgingly admit. “What I don’t understand is why you didn’t tell me if you stayed because you liked me. You knew I was going to find out sooner rather than later.”

  “I was afraid you’d kick me out of your room. We don’t live near each other. We both know it was a one-time thing, and I hadn’t had my fill of you.”

  “That’s very lame, though, you realize that, right? You lied to me and kept on lying to me so you could fuck me again.” It does hurt when I think about it. I feel a little used. A little because he really made sure the night was amazing for me too. He didn’t just do it for the sake of soothing a bruised ego. He also made sure my car was waiting for me with a full tank. Left me a note.

  “Wait a second,” I say. “Your note. When you wrote that you wish the circumstances had been different, it wasn’t just about me being on my way, right?”

  “No. I think we could have had a good time together for a little while. I’m not the settling down kind, but we get on very well. I would have been OK with a few more nights like that before we parted ways.”

  “Jeez, don’t I feel special,” I snark. “I passed the bang test. I’m good enough for a repeat.”

  “It’s not like that, Abigail. I don’t do relationships. I don’t cheat either but if I get on well with a girl, why not spend a few nights together until we both get it out of our systems?”

  It’s the first time he really uses my full name. I don’t count when he brought my car back, because he was still a stranger then. I find I kinda like it on his lips. It sounds soft, like his voice curls around it.

  He sighs. “I’m sorry. I really liked our night. I really find you pretty. I really would have offered you a drink at The Hoose in the hope that I could get you in my bed, too.”

  That is probably one of the weirdest apologies I’ve ever heard. I’m not quite sure what to do with it, but I’m also aware of the fact that he didn’t make any promises. He’s an asshole but then again, I kinda already knew that. Aren’t bikers supposed to be like that? “I don’t like being lied to that way,” I explain. “It makes me feel used, and small, and like I’m the butt of a joke. I hate it.”

  He nods again. “I understand. I saw it as a one stone, two birds situation. But it was lame.”

  “Yeah. It was.” I exhale, then decide it’s pointless to continue. “Listen, Apa. I had a great night. I’d rather remember it as a great night,
too. Let’s leave it at that, OK?”

  And honestly, it’s really how I feel. Whatever Apa did, it wasn’t to mock me. His original intentions were gross, but he did give me respect in other ways. I don’t see the point in holding a grudge when we won’t be in each other’s lives anymore after today.

  I see it even less when we walk into the reception room and Cassie eyes us.

  She sees Apa first and wow… he’s right. I’m ready to bet she is undressing him in her mind right now. On her wedding day. Not very classy, Cassie.

  But then something amazing happens. She sees me, too. Her eyes go from Apa to me. He has his hand on the small of my back as he leads me through the entrance, navigating between guests. The disbelief on her face should be insulting but then jealousy takes over.

  And let me tell you something. Seeing the girl who bullied you and made you feel like crap for most of your childhood obviously wanting something you got all night long… I don’t care how petty it makes me but wow, I’m taking it.

  A smile spreads on my lips as I realize suddenly that this must have been how Apa felt too. This intense “look who got the last laugh” sensation.

  I guess I’m a little bit of an asshole too because I slip closer to him, my hand squeezing his.

  Payback is a bitch and Cassie, it’s time for the check.

  Chapter 8

  Apa

  I’m not sure what’s happening.

  Two minutes ago, Abby was - rightfully - pissed at me. And now she is lacing her fingers through mine. It’s exactly like when we walked out of the wedding venue. She glared then beamed up at me like I hung the moon and the stars.

  I wish I could read her mind because it does seem interesting up there.

  “Not that I mind, but care to explain the change of mood?” I whisper in her ear.

  “You’re on probation,” she hisses. “But I think I’m seeing the appeal of getting back at someone who didn’t treat you well.”