“Apa-”
“Aaron,” he corrects me. “You call me Aaron when I tell you I love you, OK?”
“OK,” I say distractedly. “Aaron, you probably feel guilty, and that’s why you’re confused.”
I can’t believe I have to talk him down. Can I catch a break?
“No.”
I take a deep breath and brace myself because this is going to hurt. “You don’t love me. Aaron, I was going to walk out of your life and nothing will… nothing would have changed for you. Your life would have remained the same. You know that I was driving away and thinking about how you don’t even have one picture of us? I know I’m the paparazzi in our couple, but still. You want to hold onto the things you love, make sure you have memories. You obviously don’t feel that way about me.”
His smile widens. “You said couple.”
“Oh my God, you know what I mean!” I snap because he’s not being serious about this. Another proof that whatever he is feeling isn’t what he thinks. I’m about to point it out to him when he pulls his phone from his pocket. He swipes and presses a few buttons, then hands it to me wordlessly.
I gasp, and it’s not a good gasp. It’s a picture of me in this very bed, and holy crap I look terrible. My skin is white as a sheet, except for the dark bruises over my temple and cheek. My hair is a disaster and looks dirty and greasy. “Why would you even…”
“I want to remember how it felt when I thought I was going to lose you, so I never forget to put you first.” He leans over and gently swipes right.
It’s a picture of me when I’m sleeping. It must be from a few days ago at most, because I recognize a hickey he left on the back of my shoulder that has just started to fade. I’m a little taken aback and wondering if somehow I ended up with a creepy Edward, and I can’t help but check, swiping right again. I’m not asleep this time. I’m laughing with Bear as we’re getting bags out of the van.
I swipe and swipe, and it’s dozens of pictures of me. Never when I’m looking. I’m checking the oven. I am glaring at Reese as he is trying to convince me to do his laundry. I’m at the table while we’re having dinner. Poe is teaching me how to play poker. I’m playing pool, but that picture is of my ass, which makes me laugh. I’m smiling at Jackson as he eats his twelfth cookie - that kid is still growing, I swear he eats more than half the house combined. There are quite a few of me when I sleep too, but it’s mostly when I’m not paying attention and doing the most random and boring things. It goes back to our very first night at the club. I recognize my pajamas and my hair is obviously wet.
I think I start sobbing when I realize he also took pictures of me during our first weekend together. And he kept them.
“You really do love me,” I say through my tears.
“I really do love you,” he agrees softly as he dries my tears. “I just wasn’t expecting you. My life was exactly the way I wanted, and I was having a blast but once you walked into it… I don’t know how to explain, but I can’t imagine not having you by my side anymore. I love everything about you, even the things that drive me nuts. I’m just sorry it took me longer than you to realize how I felt.”
I shake my head then, because we’ve only been together, really together, for not even two months. It happened fast. So fast that I would have a hard time believing it if I didn’t feel it so deeply in my heart. I found someone special, someone who gets me, and sometimes, when you know… you know.
“It wasn’t easy for me to let you into my life this way. Having you as my old lady… it’s serious in my world. I take full and complete responsibility for you. I… I’ve had a hard time with things like that since I came back. It’s one thing with my brothers. But you’re… you’re not from this world. You’re innocent in many ways and you saw that, sometimes, bad things happen.”
“It could have been a serial killer, Aaron. I could have had a car crash. I could have gone to the movies one night and a nutcase would have decided to shoot everyone. Bad things happen in my world too.”
“Yes. I guess so. It’s too late, anyway. I already told the club I was going to claim you.”
I put his phone down, making a mental note to go through it again when I feel a little better, and maybe copy a few pictures because some look actually very good and also, I want to send some to Val so she can drool over the other bikers. I’m a loyal hoe and what I get, my friends can get too. Or at least a taste. Well, a visual taste.
“Do you really have to use that word?”
“What word?”
“Claiming.” I don’t really enjoy it. It feels very Neanderthal-y. “I keep expecting you to whip it out and pee on my feet or something.”
He laughs. “That’s just what we call the whole process, babe. I promise, no peeing is involved.”
“Good.” I pause, then. “What do you mean, the whole process?” I pale because I remember stuff I read in my MC romances. “Do I have to have sex with other men? Oh my God, tell me you don’t have to fuck me in front of everyone? At church? Or on the pool table?” I’m panicking now, because everything I can think about is definitely a big fat no from me. I also don’t want to be called property.
The more I think of it, the less sure I am that this whole old lady thing is made for me.
“Will it make you feel better if you only have to do an officer? That’s Lee, Sly, or Reese. Poe is out because that would be cheating, and Maisie would have his balls.”
Oh my God. I’ve only seen Sly once or twice. He is sneaky, always hiding in dark corners. He’s one of the only ones I haven’t managed to break the ice with. I don’t think he likes sweets, and that’s like my whole plan when it comes to making bikers like me. Lee intimidates me. Reese is Apa’s best friend, I’m not sure it’s a good idea and… God, I don’t want anybody else to touch me. No, no, no.
Aaron snorts. “Baby, you should see your face.”
“Asshole!” I screech when I realize he’s been playing me.
“I just told the club you were my old lady. That’s it. That’s literally it,” he says with a laugh. “What the hell were you picturing? An orgy?”
I pinch my lips and that makes him laugh even harder. He strokes my knuckles and shakes his head. “Abby… I would never let another man touch you. No way.”
That makes me feel better. Not that I doubted it, but… it’s good to have an official confirmation. “When we met, you said-”
“I wasn’t in love with you then. I stopped seeing the appeal the first night you spent at the house.”
“Really?”
“Yup. Didn’t want another man to know what it feels like to have you in his arms.” He glances at me with a sheepish smile that makes me completely melt. “I worried a little that you might be interested, though.”
“I’m a one-biker kind of girl.”
“Thank God.” He leans in to press the softest kiss on the corner of my lips, probably worried about hurting me. That sweetness of his will be my undoing one day. He might look like a biker, talk like a biker and walk like a biker, Aaron is also the definition of boyfriend material. I really did find the El Dorado when I saw him in the bar.
A sudden thought strikes me. “Do I have to wear a vest?” I’ve seen Maisie with one. It says Property of Poe. She likes it, but I know I’m not like that.
“Yeah. Not all the time, but if you come with me on a run, or if we visit another club, or another club visits us, it’s better. They’ll leave you alone, the club girls will stay away too.”
I’m torn because I like the idea of being left alone.
“We don’t have to add property if you don’t want to. My name should be enough.”
I automatically light up. “You think?” I could work with his name. It would be like wearing your boyfriend’s jersey or something. I’m not looking forward to explaining what “Apa” means to my parents, though.
Chapter 25
Abby
The hospital releases me the next day. Apa stayed with me the whole time, so I’m a
little surprised when he guides me to his bedroom and gets comfortable too. I figured he would have to head back to the workshop after missing a few days.
Not that I’m complaining. He lies down and opens his arms, and it takes about three seconds before I snuggle against him.
“You’re not going to work?” I still ask because I feel like it’s my duty as a brand-new old lady to be all supportive and “club first.” I’m not positive I do a convincing job because my hand is already flattening over his stomach. My touch isn’t sexual. I’m not turned on, and my body is still way too out of it to even entertain the idea of sex right now, but I like feeling him against me. His warmth reassures me, the strength I can feel under my palm makes me feel safe.
“No,” he says in a soft voice as his fingers untie my ponytail. “Mick is taking over until I’m sure you feel better.”
“You know the doctor wouldn’t have let me go if they thought-”
“I’m not just talking physically, Abby,” he interrupts me. “You went through something that is the definition of traumatic. I’m not letting you out of my sight until I’m positive you’re OK. Alright?”
“Alright,” I breathe out as his hand starts massaging the back of my neck.
“Sleep,” he orders gently as his fingers work through the tension that I’ve been feeling since I woke up in the hospital. Safe in his arms and in the familiar comfort of his bed, it only takes me a minute to do just that.
When we head down for dinner a few hours later, Maisie is there. She tells me right away to stop by the diner whenever I feel ready to get back to work. She doesn’t seem upset that I dropped her, saying it’s mostly Apa’s fault anyway.
I’m not positive I agree but she can be a little scary sometimes, so I nod along. I’ll work on my inner bitchy old lady persona when I’m not recovering from a concussion.
I’m about to head back upstairs when Lee stops me. “We need to talk to you and Apa.”
To say I’m a little surprised is putting it mildly. I already talked to the cops, everything seems settled, so I’m not sure what else there is to say. But Apa is holding my hand and guiding me, so I don’t really have the time to wonder what it’s all about. He leads me to the forbidden room, the one where they have their church meetings. I’m a little impressed to say the least. There is a large table in the middle and chairs all around. I don’t know what I was expecting, maybe something a little more scary with skulls and reapers, or even posters with half-naked chicks. There is nothing like that, only some pictures on the wall that I suspect are fallen brothers. I don’t ask, though. I know better. It’s funny in a way how quickly I’m adapting to this life. I was kidnapped, knocked out cold, and I’m positive the official version of the dude being killed off in self-defense is complete bullshit. Yet… I can’t find it in me to care. I’m sad for his loved ones, but he was dangerous. He messed with the wrong crowd. I prefer to see it as the club making the world a little safer. It might be twisted, but I don’t feel guilty in being relieved that the guy who abducted me will never be able to hurt someone else. And that’s probably why I accepted Apa’s explanations even though I didn’t really believe them. Maybe one day, when I’m more comfortable with my new world, when I understand things better… maybe we’ll talk about it, and he’ll tell me the truth. I like to think he will if I ask him. And if I want to start a life with him, I need to learn to accept that a part of what he does will always be a mystery to me. I also need to learn to trust him that he will always share if it’s really important. And Aaron needs to trust me enough to confide as well.
I give him a smile when he pulls a chair out for me. Our relationship is still new. I love him like crazy, and I know he loves me too. We just need to adjust and find our balance.
“Drew called me,” Lee starts as he closes the door. “The tip that came through, the one that told us where you were, they located its source.”
“Oh?”
“It’s a public phone. On Chestnut.”
I have no idea what that’s supposed to mean, but Apa stiffens. I look at him questioningly, but his eyes are on Sly.
Damn. I didn’t even see him following us.
“Hum… sorry but why is it significant?” I ask, because it seems like I’m the only one who doesn’t get it.
“The workshop is on Chestnut street,” Apa explains.
Lee nods. “It could be a gigantic coincidence, or…”
“Or someone from the club tipped the cops off. Which means they knew someone had taken me and where they were taking me,” I finish. Holy crap.
“We’re not positive,” Sly replies. His voice is perpetually low, a constant murmur. “But it’s a strong possibility, yeah.”
“Who was working there that day?”
“Mick. Jimmy. Buffer. I think Hannibal stopped by, but I’ll have to check.”
Ugh. I didn’t even know Hannibal was still around. I wonder where he’s staying since it’s obviously not at the clubhouse.
Apa knows me well and answers my question before I even have the time to voice it out. “He works as a bouncer at the strip-club. We have a loft over it.”
“It’s not Mick. No way. That leaves Jimmy, Buffer, or Hannibal, then.”
“Why would they do that, though? I mean, I’m not a big fan of Hannibal but I’ve barely ever talked to him or Buffer. And Jimmy likes my chocolate chip cookies!” It might be a gigantic coincidence. I’m uncomfortable with Hannibal but at the same time, I can’t understand why he’d do anything to get rid of me.
That’s when I connect the dots. I gasp, my hand gripping Apa’s arm. “Oh my God. Bad guy. He told me-”
“Bad guy? You mean John Stokes?”
“Yeah, him.” I didn’t bother learning his name. “He told me that it would be ‘one stone, two birds.’ Me, I mean. He had to settle something with the club and that using me would be a one stone, two birds thing.”
“So there is a personal connection, which makes it extremely likely that someone from the inside is involved,” Sly agrees.
“I say it’s Hannibal. He’s a nomad, maybe he was friends with the Stokes brothers.”
I shake my head. Men. They’re missing a gigantic piece of the puzzle. “No. It’s not him.”
They stare at me, and it might be a little intimidating, but I stand my ground. “You forgot someone,” I insist.
“Who?”
Apa groans. I’m proud. My man got it. “Pinkie. Pinkie works at-”
“Oh fuck. I hate it when it’s women,” Lee whispers as he pinches the bridge of his nose.
“She was on the Arizona run, right?” I ask for confirmation. I can still remember her comments about Apa’s bed.
“Yup. Seeing as she hates your guts, she probably wasn’t hard to approach and convince.”
I have to admit I’m a little bit shocked. We would have never been the best of friends but to have me kidnapped is taking things a little bit too far in my opinion. Still. I don’t want the girl murdered or… whatever it is they do in those situations. I might have accepted the fate of John Stokes, but I have no idea how involved Pinkie was. I don’t want to have her blood on my hands. The way Lee said he hated it when it was women isn’t exactly reassuring. “She tipped the cops off,” I remind them. “She tried to fix it.”
I think so, at least.
Pinkie understands right away what’s happening when she walks into the common room. She turns around but Sly - how the hell did he manage to leave the church room without me noticing, I do not know - stops her. Apa gently nudges me forward and whispers to head to his room. I don’t look back and head straight upstairs.
He doesn’t come to bed until I’m already fast asleep. It’s not that I don’t worry a little, but I have a concussion partly because of her, so I don’t feel too guilty.
***
Apa
“Go upstairs. Don’t wait for me,” I murmur in Abby’s ear as I tilt my head toward Bear. He nods back and stands up, discreetly following her as she sl
owly makes her way upstairs. I have shit to take care of and I don’t want her involved in more drama than necessary. My girl has been through enough already. Bear will make sure to stay close to our room until I can join her. I’m not comfortable having her alone so soon after what happened. She’s had a few nightmares every time she has slept and even if I don’t like the idea of another man comforting her if necessary, I suck it up because I hate even more to picture her scared. I trust Bear and, more importantly, Abby trusts him.
I don’t think I can explain how I felt when I saw her, lying on the floor of that abandoned building. She was so pale, so still that for a few seconds, I was unable to move. The fear that we had taken too long kept me rooted to the spot. If I wasn’t sure I loved her then, all doubt would have vanished for good. When I finally had her pulse under my fingertips, I managed to take the first deep breath ever since she’d been missing. I knew right away she probably had a concussion. I saw no bleeding wound, but there was a dark bruise on her temple and it took forever to make her gain consciousness. She was drowsy, and even if it was too dark for me to analyze her pupils, the way she puked on my shoes before fainting again gave it away.
Drew and Lee had forbidden me to get involved with the asshole who took her, and it had pissed me off.
Truth is, once I had my eyes on Abby, I don’t think anyone or anything could have made me move away from her for even one second.
Good thing the guy is dead. I still wish I could have made it long and slow, but as long as Abby is safe and sound… it’s all that matters.
It took her twelve hours to wake up. I stayed by her side, called her parents and reassured them. They were in Italy but were going to shorten their trip. I guess I’ll be meeting the in-laws sooner than expected. Not that I really worry about it. I love their daughter and want to make her happy. I don’t plan on living with Abby’s parents, so as long as we find a way to co-exist, I’m good.
Not to mention, there are other things that need my attention right now.
Pinkie gulps when everyone leaves the room. Lee only had to give a chin lift for everyone to understand.
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