Just as Naima and I had had similar experiences with white people in the music industry, we also had had similar experiences in high school as kids who defied our racial stereotypes.
NAIMA: So I definitely got called, like, a white girl, and you know, I was kind of clowned a little bit because I had to play some catch-up based on where I grew up. The thing is, Blackness is not a monolith, and the same can be said about other cultures. This is why it’s so important for young people to understand that they can be whoever they want, like whatever they want, and do whatever they want. Either way, you’re still you. Black, brown, white, whatever.
Of all the points Naima made, this point was probably the most important to me, because it speaks directly to the idea that people are who they are, and that shouldn’t alter their validity in their community. It’s important not only for white people to see that people of color exist in various ways; it’s also important for people of color to see themselves that way. To understand that you can listen to whatever you want, watch whatever you want, be whoever you want, and become whoever you want. This is why people support movements such as #RepresentationMatters.
That’s part of the reason I decided to also talk with my good friend April Reign.
April’s efforts to diversify the Academy Awards and Hollywood as a whole have been praised by celebrities such as Gabrielle Union, Spike Lee, Reagan Gomez, and Kamau Bell, among others. The movement has been directly credited by many as helping to usher in a new era of diversity and inclusion in Hollywood by holding the industry accountable for a lack of both.
Needless to say, April is a powerhouse, but she is also just dope as hell and has important things to say, particularly when it comes to people of color being seen as dynamic. Starting with herself.
APRIL: I think I have always been drawn to art in various ways. I say that, acknowledging the fact that my stick figures are horrible, so there’s no visual representation of that. I tried high school musical a couple of times, and that was horrible. I played the flute, and I was decent at that, and I was in band for a few years. But I have an immense amount of respect for people who can take something that sort of wells up and overflows within them and share that with the world. I’m always incredibly appreciative and respectful of people who are willing to be that open with strangers.
I think I’m one of the eight Black people who actually are fans of the Dave Matthews Band. Like, I truly do like DMB, have been to more than one concert. But I think that’s also a product of being a military kid. My dad was in the army, so we moved around a lot. And so, that meant that I was exposed to a lot of music and entertainment because of the different locations.
She is correct. She is one of the eight Black people on this planet who enjoy the Dave Matthews Band. She is also the only one who tries to make “DMB” a thing. You know how I’ve been telling you to go check out certain movies and music being mentioned throughout the book? Yeah, this isn’t one of those times.
I asked April what made her decide to call out the need for more representation in Hollywood through her digital movement.
APRIL: I believe that I was at the right place at the right time. I don’t let them give me too much credit for that because I truly acknowledge that I stand on the shoulders of so many artists and activists or artivists, whatever, who have been saying the same thing that I was saying for years. Harry Belafonte and Ossie Davis and Ruby Dee and so many people were talking about the lack of representation of Black folks in film. I just had the opportunity to say basically the same thing, but on a newer platform.
I think when I created #OscarsSoWhite—this was January 2015—I had maybe eight thousand followers. So it wasn’t the huge platform that I have now. And I think it resonated with people, but to be honest, #OscarsSoWhite didn’t really take off until the following year, 2016, because that was the second year in which there were no people of color nominated for any of the acting categories at the best actor/actress or best supporting actor/actress levels. That means there were twenty slots that went to white folks.
I think people were taking it as, Okay, first time is a fluke; the second time is a pattern. And it was, Okay maybe this woman has something here.
In my opinion, many industries are entering a moment where they are being held accountable for their lack of space for and investment in people of color, and a lot of it is starting with young people. Many generations have added seats to the table, and I think younger generations now are focused on creating tables, which April spoke to as well. I believe #OscarsSoWhite is an example of why that is happening.
APRIL: I think part of #OscarsSoWhite’s staying power is that everybody’s talking about diversity and inclusion. And it’s not just with respect to entertainment. It’s also journalism. It’s also tech. No industry is not touched by the fact that the more diverse your workforce is, the more money you make. It’s statistically proven.
We may not agree on the merits of the Dave Matthews Band, but one thing we can both agree on is the greatness that is Star Wars. (That’s right, high-school-teacher-whose-name-isn’t-worth-printing-in-this-book, OTHER Black people like Star Wars, too!)
APRIL: I think the first movie that I recall seeing in a theater was Star Wars, what we now know as Episode IV, A New Hope. And I was seven at the time. That was 1977. Oh yeah, I’ve always been interested in a wide range of films. If it moves me, I’m interested in it. I don’t like doing labels for myself. So I definitely don’t like doing it for the entertainment I consume.
Because I don’t like labels, I don’t think that I ascribe to them. I like what I like. . . . It’s just never been an issue for me about labeling something that I’ve liked and didn’t like and what it meant or anything. I think I had the privilege to not have to be put into a particular silo with respect to the kind of stuff I liked. It wasn’t always what people refer to as Black films or whatever. If I were to list my top five films, The Godfather one and two (we don’t speak of three) would be in that group. And the one time that they referenced Black people in either of those films, they were using the word “nigger.”
Before I continue, I have to address something. In this book, the n-word comes up a few times. I was asked whether I wanted to censor it, or write “n-word,” since the book is intended for a white audience, who shouldn’t be saying that word. But that isn’t authentic. So I will say this: if you’re not Black, don’t say it. Just because it’s in the book, that doesn’t mean you can read it aloud. Thanks!
APRIL: I think it’s crucial that kids at a young age see themselves presented in a variety of ways. And even more so for marginalized kids. And when I say “marginalized” for this conversation, I’m talking about all of the categories that I talked about with #OscarsSoWhite, so not just race but also sexual orientation and gender identity and disability and ethnicity.
One of the first times that I’ve recognized Blackness as being something special was seeing Roosevelt Franklin on Sesame Street. Even though the Muppet itself was purple, you could tell that this was representing a Black kid, a Black kid with a single mom from the projects.
I think that’s why shows like The Cosby Show, putting all of the sh*t with Bill Cosby aside, but shows like The Cosby Show were important, because they showed a family who had, for some people, “made it.” The father’s a doctor; the mother’s a lawyer. They’re upper middle class. They don’t appear to want for anything. And then I think Cosby did a good job as Dr. Huxtable—there was that one episode with Theo and the Monopoly money. He’s like, “We’re rich. You don’t have anything, Theo.”
April is referring to the pilot episode of The Cosby Show. In that episode, one of the children in the family, Theo, thinks he doesn’t have to do well in school or get a good job because his parents are well off. His father, played by Bill Cosby, teaches him a life lesson about the fact that he still needs to go out and make something of himself. There is an underlying message that it’s that much more important for Theo to work hard because he’s Bla
ck.
These types of lessons carried on throughout the eight years that The Cosby Show ran. In fact, social scientists were brought on to make sure the show didn’t feed into any negative stereotypes about Black people. The Cosby Show also led to the highly successful spin-off sitcom A Different World, which was about Denise, one of the Cosby daughters, attending an HBCU (Historically Black College or University) during its first season.
While Bill Cosby is a piece of garbage, no one can deny that both The Cosby Show and A Different World were crowning achievements and guidelines not only for Black representation but for how people of color could be represented as a whole.
If you haven’t seen either show, I suggest you do.
April had more to say about the importance of representation from a broad standpoint and how it helps people of color.
APRIL: So it’s just like the movie Coco, how important it is for Latinx kids to see a vibrant kid who wants to be an artist, who also wants to support and be respectful of the family, but needs to live his truth. How fantastic is it that there are really young kids who are able to see that early on? And I think that’s especially important for kids who are growing up knowing that they are going to have some challenges because of their sexual orientation or gender identity.
This is why movements such as #OscarsSoWhite, films like Black Panther, and artists like Lil Nas X are so important. They offer the ability for people to be seen in authentic ways that aren’t simply the manifestation of how someone else has stereotyped them.
April ended our conversation with a few final thoughts on bigotry and privilege:
APRIL: I think that racism is learned, right? And we’ve seen that. Racism, unfortunately, or thoughts of bigotry and prejudice and so on, start in the home. And so . . . if you’ve got your father or mother or caregiver who is deeply ensconced in bigotry and discrimination, and that’s all you get, then hopefully this book will help show that there is another side.
When’s the last time you’ve had a person of a different ethnicity or a different sexual orientation in your home? To study or just to play PS4 or what have you?
These last questions resonated deeply with me, because that’s why I wrote this book and, I hope, why you’re reading this. I want us to be more complete people. That starts with dropping our assumptions about a person. It starts with learning their stories.
And most important? It starts with Nabisco compensating me and millions of others who have been tormented because of Oreos.
Growing up, I was one of those kids who always had their head in a book. You know, the type of ten-year-old who reads encyclopedias and watches documentaries for fun.
I loved learning new things. I also loved that learning kept me distracted from the fact that I didn’t have many friends.
Sad, I know. But don’t worry, for better or worse, I became popular in high school. I also was no longer bullied. (Growing to over six feet and having my acne clear up helped.)
Because I was a walking Encyclopedia Britannica, I was placed in advanced courses, and in second grade it was recommended that I transfer to an honors school, though I decided not to leave my school, because I was nervous. My logic was that the bullies you know are better than the ones you don’t, and I had been bullied long enough to know who was who.
I realized while typing this that if you were born after 2000, you probably have no idea what the Encyclopedia Britannica is. Basically, before there was Google, there was software on discs that had information about specific subjects, such as dinosaurs. And rumor has it that before this information was on discs, it was in actual books—though that might just be an urban legend.
Whether you accessed the encyclopedias in book form or on discs, the point was that the information available didn’t change. At least, not until the next edition, which sometimes could take YEARS. Don’t worry, one day you’ll be explaining what text messages are when people are talking over holograms.
While my school wasn’t an honors school, it did have some very intelligent students. But based on the honor roll posted in the hallway every quarter (this must have been hell for some kids), no one could deny that I was one of the school’s brightest.
I say “one of” because during that time I had a rival named Fatimah Martinez, who typically had the same exact grades as me. While I wouldn’t say this when I was younger, I’m a big enough person now to begrudgingly admit that she was just about as smart as me.
During those years, I wasn’t one of the first kids picked for sports, asked to attend birthday parties, or sought out at lunch tables. But while socializing with other kids was hard, everything else about school couldn’t have been easier.
Because of my interest in academics, many teachers were very kind to me. I think they also saw I didn’t have many friends, so some would let me hang out during lunch and recess so I wouldn’t have to be with other kids. (Yeah, it was that bad.)
At times I’d even get a chance to help them grade papers or prepare lessons. I was what some might call a teacher’s pet, but I’d consider myself a survivor.
One of those teachers was Ms. Meyers, who always seemed to be my biggest supporter. Which is why I was disappointed when our class found out she was having a baby and we’d have a substitute for the rest of the year.
When the new teacher started, I was nervous, but I figured I had nothing to worry about as long as I kept excelling. As the good grades poured in, so would the love. It was simple.
On the substitute’s first day, she took attendance and asked everyone to say “something interesting” about themselves.
You’ll find out soon why I won’t even dignify her with a fictional name. To help you visualize her, the substitute was an older white woman who looked like she dyed her hair to look younger, but the wrinkles told no lies.
When she got to my name, I took a second to respond because I was nervous one of the kids would say something “interesting” about me that would hurt my feelings. It wouldn’t have been the first time.
Before I could find the courage to respond, she looked at a group of my white classmates and said, “I’m sure one of you is Frederick. Speak up.”
So I said, “Sorry, I’m Frederick.”
She turned to me and said, “Stop joking, please.” Then she scanned her list and said, “Let me guess, you’re Jamal.”
I stared at her blankly and told her my name again. “I’m not joking, I’m Frederick Joseph.”
I’m hoping that the last chapter made it clear why the sub’s assumption about my name was racist as hell. If I had a time machine, I’d go back to the past and put a tack on her seat.
The actual Jamal was absent that day, but this one white kid (I’m not giving him a name, either) who hated me spoke up at that point, and though he reaffirmed that my name was, in fact, Frederick, he also let her and the rest of the class know that I was a “dork.”
The substitute didn’t apologize for the name mistake, nor did she apologize for letting the wolves publicly eat me alive. Little did I know, getting an apology from her would soon be the least of my concerns.
Over the next few days, I quickly learned that my life with the substitute was going to be completely different from my life with Ms. Meyers. No longer was I being called on to answer questions when I raised my hand or asked to help grade papers. But it wasn’t just me; other kids of color were being treated differently now as well, including my rival, Fatimah. The substitute was paying much more attention to the white kids in class and making sure they participated.
But I knew that if there was anything that could win over the substitute, it was going to be my great test scores, and lucky for me we had a test coming up.
Unlike most students, test days were my favorite days. It was kind of like going into the NBA playoffs, but with a team that I knew was just better than all of the other teams. I also knew that ultimately I would end up competing only with Fatimah for best grade on the exam.
Because we typically both got the
same grade (a perfect score, of course), we began competing in other ways on test days. We silently decided to start seeing who would finish their test first, because it wasn’t enough just to be smart; you had to also be fast.
For our first test with the substitute I was going to bring my A game. She was going to learn just how good I was, and everything would be back to normal. The day of the test I was fully prepared (as always) and had even spent extra time reviewing my homework notes the night before.
As the substitute handed out the test, Fatimah looked at me menacingly, almost as if to let me know that she, too, would be bringing it, and I was excited. This was the Magic versus Bird of elementary school rivalries.
I just realized that many of you likely don’t know who Magic Johnson and Larry Bird are, and that hurts me more than I can explain. They were two basketball players in the ’80s and ’90s and part of the reason Celtics and Lakers fans hate each other. (Let’s go, Lakers.) Google.
Once we started the test, I was locked in. I only put my head up a few times to see how Fatimah was doing, and I caught glimpses of her doing the same to me. After about fifteen minutes or so, both Fatimah and I finished and darted to the substitute’s desk to hand our tests in at basically the same time. (I won.)
Fatimah and I sat at our desks for the rest of the time and watched as our classmates finished their exams. Per usual on test day, we both had big smiles on our faces as we were leaving the class.
Before we walked out the door, the substitute stopped both of us and said she wanted to speak with us.
Once all of the other students were off to lunch, the substitute closed the door, then looked at us and said, “I know you two cheated.”
The Black Friend Page 5