by Sharon Sant
Jacob gazed at him thoughtfully. ‘I like it,’ he said. As he considered Dae’s reply, something else puzzled him. ‘How come I can understand you? How come we speak the same language?’
‘We don’t. Your mind processes my thoughts and words into a form that is familiar to you. In reality, you understand me instinctively.’
‘How does that work?’
‘So many questions, Ioh. We have much to do; you will have to save them.’
‘Did Mum and Dad die?’ A sudden flashback troubled Jacob. ‘I couldn’t see them; I don’t know what happened… I remember I was ill. I know it was all my fault…’
Dae held up his hand to quiet Jacob, surveying him with compassion. ‘You have spent too long on Earth. I tried to warn you before when I guessed what you would do, but I should have been more vigilant. If there is blame, it is to lie with me. Humans do not control their emotions in the way we have learned, and right now you are more human than Astraen. You have such a fierce love, unchecked and reckless. It is something Astraens consider unwise, but… sometimes I wonder, for all our intelligence and civilisation, there are qualities we lack as a race.’ He considered Jacob for a moment. ‘Perhaps that is why you may yet be the most important Watcher there has been. I think it is time for our species to change. You can teach them a new way.’
Jacob suppressed the urge to laugh. ‘Me!’ His face fell quickly again. ‘But did they… my parents, are they ok?’
‘I do not know. It has not been decided.’
‘Not decided? What does that mean?’
Dae’s eyes now faded to a melancholy grey. ‘I cannot yet say how things will be.’
It seemed that no time passed in that place, yet it was eternal, always the same, beyond the laws of Time. Jacob had no urge to explore his surroundings, had no need to sleep or to eat. He imagined this was how suspended animation would be; he felt that he was frozen in a no place, in storage. It was a strange sensation, yet one that did not worry him unduly. Thoughts of his family and friends at home, Jacob’s home, were vague, half-formed memories. The love he felt for them did not diminish, but he was content with their absence. Sometimes he heard familiar voices; they seemed to be talking to him from far away. Jacob asked Dae what the voices meant, they were different from the messages he got when using his power, more like crackly radio signals.
‘They are echoes of your loved ones, with your body.’
Jacob pondered Dae’s reply and thought about asking him again where his body was, which loved ones were there, but by now he knew he would not get an answer.
Jacob quickly came to realise that in this place he really was Ioh. And as Ioh, he travelled virtually with Dae, seeming to soar outside Time and Space, the secrets of the Universe laid out before them like the pages of some majestic book. Dae taught him strange languages, ancient and modern. He showed him new bio-systems, new geology, cosmology and physics far advanced from anything on Earth. He explained all the deeply spiritual ways in which Astraens operated at the most basic level, the special connectivity that bound them and nature together. Ideas that seemed fantastic and outlandish to him as Jacob were part of everyday life for Ioh. The Astraens themselves were connected telepathically with shared emotions and experiences and memories that they had learned to dip into and out of at will, an entire planetary population separate but at the same time whole and indivisible. The first shock of contact was something Jacob remembered now, realising that it was just familiar friends trying to get in touch, if only he had known how to read the messages.
As the rate of Jacob’s understanding swelled, his knowledge and power grew daily. He saw clearly what his role as the Watcher meant. He was the vital cog in the machinery, the glue that bound all. He was, most importantly and paradoxically, nothing more than a symbol, a physical embodiment of a sense of faith in equilibrium and divine protection. Despite his gifts and special abilities, it seemed it was only centuries of tradition and belief that had created such an incredible reliance on the presence of the Watcher. But when such a fundamentally and spiritually connected body of beings were so much in need, it was a hard request to ignore and, Jacob reflected with a tinge of sadness, an easy situation to manipulate for the one inclined to do so.
Astrae was not all like the grassy green paradise that Jacob shared with Dae. The space he occupied now was unique to this world, a cross between a temple and a school; it occupied no real physical place but was more a state of mind. It was where the Successor could learn his craft in solitude, switched off from other distractions. Dae explained that, usually, the Successor would spend his whole childhood there and possibly beyond, depending on the lifespan of the Watcher that he waited to replace, readying himself for his time. But Jacob had learned so much by mistake, and the Watcher’s time was now so short that he would have to leave much sooner. The rest of the planet was as diverse as the Earth: forests, seas, deserts, cities, mountains and ice-caps, a world full of new creatures and organisms. Some looked vaguely similar to what he had seen on Earth, others fantastic, indescribable, and yet he knew them as intimately as he knew the lines of his own face.
And the time came when Dae also explained the peculiarities of Jacob’s case which had necessitated sending him to safety as an infant.
‘It had never before happened,’ Dae began. ‘Two children were marked at the same time. Both were enormously talented and, against the advice of most Council members, both were taken from their parents and nurtured in this place together as Successors. There was a great disagreement in the Council chambers. Some thought it wise to see which one would grow to be more powerful. It was a mistake.’
Jacob listened to Dae’s tale, cross-legged on the grass, never moving his gaze.
‘In the end, only one Watcher could be chosen from the two Successors. That is our way. The child who was rejected became bitter about his fate. He had no notion of how to be anything other than the Watcher. He had spent his entire life separated from the outside world, waiting for his moment, the time when he would be the most powerful symbol in creation. But it never came, and he was discarded, sent back to a life of anonymity while his childhood companion rose to glory. Imagine how that feels and you will gain some insight into what drove him mad.’
Jacob tried to imagine feeling upset about being sent home right now, but his situation was so different that it was hard. Dae seemed to sense Jacob’s inner dialogue. He gave a small smile and then continued. ‘The injustice festered, his mind was poisoned by those who had wished to see him in power rather than the Watcher who now sat in that seat – in short, he turned his gifts to mischief and would have the Watcher brought down in order to take his place. For many years he was unsuccessful, he grew more twisted by spite with every failure. Then the time came that a new Successor was born and marked out, as is our custom,’ Dae gave a nod in Jacob’s direction, ‘and the Watcher quickly realised that his ever-bitter rival would have a new target. If the rival could not destroy the Watcher, then he would destroy his Successor and end the line, leaving a void that only he could fill.’
‘So, is that why I was sent away?’ Jacob asked. Dae nodded. ‘Why Earth, though?’ Jacob continued. ‘Why didn’t I know who I was?’
‘You did know. You always knew, even before Makash visited you for the first time.’
‘Makash was the man who came to me that night? He’s the other Successor? Why did he want me to go with him?’
‘He saw a way to take advantage of your ignorance, a new plan to seize control as puppet-master pulling your strings. He would have poisoned your mind and used you as his weapon to bring down the old Watcher.’
Jacob stroked the grass thoughtfully. ‘You still haven’t said - why Earth?’
‘Earth was closest to Astrae in many physical respects, but also very different, full of conflict and confusion which we could harness to help to keep you hidden. It was also an easy place for you to forget who you were until the time came for you to remember. Earth is a strange place, so full o
f artificial environments and pollution and fractured societies, they do not desire the equilibrium that the Watcher could bring. They forsook that security many thousands of years ago. But despite all this, many humans are happy to love a child who is not their own, in a way we do not do here.’ Across Dae’s face flitted a shadow of regret. ‘We knew you would be safe there, at least while the Watcher was strong.’
‘So when he became weaker, that’s when Makash was able to find me?’
‘Yes.’
‘What if he comes here?’
‘No one can penetrate this place but us.’
‘But I’m vulnerable if I leave?’
Dae nodded. ‘It is possible you may not be ready for him if you leave too soon. We must ensure that does not happen.’
Jacob continued with another thought. ‘What if he attacks my body?’
‘You are protecting it; I do not think he can break your defence.’
‘I am?’ Jacob smiled to himself in wonderment. There was still so much he didn’t understand. Then he fixed his gaze on Dae. ‘Where do you fit in all of this?’
Dae smiled gravely. ‘You will know soon enough.’
Even as Dae spoke his reassurances, something happened. Jacob reeled backwards, his eyes wide as he caught his breath. For the first time since he had arrived at this place, there were outside, physical influences on his corporeal body and he became vulnerable to their effects. He felt as if he were being pulled, sucked away from his surroundings by the force of a black hole. Dae and his world became a rapid blur of blue and green, spinning away into blackness.
Seven: Back to Life
From somewhere, a steady, insistent bleep fired again and again, over and over. It began to annoy Jacob. Then it was accompanied by pricking sensations in his feet, which pushed their way into his consciousness to add to the irritation. He wondered if he was dreaming them, as he seemed to be asleep. He found the concept of sleeping strange; he hadn’t slept for so long; at least, he thought it was a long time, yet no time at all. He couldn’t really be sure. And knowing he was asleep whilst he was asleep was an odd notion in itself. He tried to shake himself awake but nothing happened. There was a slight pressure on his hand, which increased in a way that reminded Jacob of someone kneading it. He felt a tiny drop of warm water on his face, only when he tried to put up his hand to wipe it away, his arm didn’t respond.
The sensations and sounds seemed to close in on him, becoming more and more intrusive until, finally, he was forced to open his eyes and look around. It took a while for his surroundings to come into focus. He didn’t know where he was, but the small, bright room was crammed full of electronic equipment and things he recognised from his bedroom: photos, posters, books and CDs. He was in bed - a hard utilitarian contraption with high gates at his sides - and a ruddy-cheeked woman dressed in a nurses’ uniform was bending over him. She wiped away tears with the back of her hand.
‘Oh, good boy, Jacob, good boy!’ She stroked his forehead.
Jacob wondered vaguely what he had done that was so good. He tried to ask but nothing came out of his mouth. He stared up at her in bemusement. The nurse wiped her eyes a second time and smiled affectionately at Jacob. ‘Just you lie quiet; Dr Bowyer will be here shortly to have a look at you.’
Lie quiet, thought Jacob as he tried to wriggle his fingers without success, I don’t think I have much choice.
A man with a white coat and a stethoscope casually draped round his neck arrived. Jacob didn’t see it as much of a leap of imagination to work out that this was Dr Bowyer. Though, quite why he had need of a doctor, Jacob wasn’t entirely sure. Apart from being irritatingly sedentary, he felt fine.
Dr Bowyer, just like the nurse, seemed to be very pleased about something that Jacob had done. ‘Excellent… very good,’ he kept saying as he poked and prodded and listened and looked and wriggled bits of Jacob’s anatomy. By the time he had finished the examination, he was beaming. ‘That’s one of the fascinating paradoxes of my job,’ he said, looking down at him with a wry smile, ‘I love it when I’m proved wrong!’
Jacob wanted to scream: what is everyone talking about?
The consultant left and Jacob’s eyes roved the room. Behind his head he could just make out a bright sky outside framed by a small square of window, but the air in the room felt dry and hot, as if a radiator was close. He could hear the distant echoes of clanging equipment, the shuffling of feet and confused snatches of myriad conversations. He heard someone shouting the arrival of a sandwich trolley and was suddenly very hungry, yearning for a tuna-mayo baguette like the ones his mum made, bursting with filling.
The nurse left him alone for a short while. The peace gave him time to think. He tried to slot together some chronologically correct version of recent events, but it was impossible. Time meant nothing to him anymore, at least, the time that travelled in straight lines as he used to know it. Memories of the accident started to creep back in flashes. Doubts stole unbidden into his mind… where were his parents? Perhaps he had failed them again. The idea filled him with dread and he fixed his gaze on the door, willing them to walk in. Dae had said that he didn’t know how it would end for them. Or had Jacob just dreamed Dae and his world? Either way, Jacob had clung to the belief that he had set things right. He squeezed his eyes tight shut, trying to block the fear out. That’s a start, he thought, I can squeeze my eye muscles. He tried to wriggle his fingers again and detected the smallest amount of friction as they moved against the bed sheet. Pleased with the tiny achievement, he tried to increase his range, but the sharp point of a drip in the back of his hand stabbed him as it moved in his vein. He moved his toes instead and felt the sheet brush against them with satisfaction.
Jacob turned his attention to the dark place of his mind. He concentrated, trying to find it. He detected something, a garbled message trying to get through, but as yet, everything was out of synch, like a detuned radio. He was oddly unconcerned. Drowsiness crept over him stealthily and unexpectedly. Lying still is surprisingly tiring, he thought, and vaguely wondered if it was something to do with the doctor as he dozed off.
Dae came to him for the briefest time as he slept. He seemed troubled and anxious and only managed to utter a short warning before fading again and leaving Jacob frustrated as to its meaning.
‘Danger is near.’
A little later Jacob’s eyes opened again. As the room came slowly into focus, he found his parents gazing down at him. His insides somersaulted. He wanted to jump up and yell, but his disobedient body would only allow him a small whisper. It would have to do.
‘Hi.’
‘Hello you!’ His dad’s voice cracked with emotion.
His mum could only beam, squeezing Jacob’s hand tightly with tears rolling down her cheeks.
For what seemed like hours, the three continued to gaze at each other, caught in a bubble of joy that was closed to the outside world. What Jacob had gone through to get here didn’t matter now. All that mattered was that they were safe and back with him.
They were eventually interrupted by Jacob’s nurse, sheepishly requesting Phil and Maggie leave for a few short minutes while another doctor came to examine Jacob. He found the strength from somewhere to cling to his mother’s hand as she moved away.
‘It’s ok,’ his mum smiled through her tears, gently breaking his grip. ‘We won’t go far.’ She disappeared from view as the long curtain was pulled around his bed.
Jacob asked to sit; he was tired of lying down. His nurse, Christine, obligingly tilted the steel headrest and propped him up with two fat pillows. The change in position made Jacob feel dizzy. Suddenly, in the midst of the vertigo, he caught a glimpse of the face of an unknown doctor who had come to examine him, and his stomach contracted with fear. The doctor looked uncannily familiar - smooth skin, bald head, and large, calculating eyes - but only for a second. When Jacob looked again he seemed to be a different man after all. The doctor said nothing to Jacob during his brief check on him, merely smiled
as he walked away. Jacob had never been more relieved to see his parents than when the curtain was finally pulled back and they rejoined him.
Over the next few days, Jacob’s mum rarely left his bedside. His dad had to work, but came as often as he could. The first time he saw the sheets pulled back on his bed, the sight of his own legs made Jacob feel ill. He had thought his arms felt weak, but his legs were puny, wasted away to skin and bone. Then, when his mother wheeled him in a chair to the day-room for a change of scenery, the truth hit Jacob like a smack in the face. He stared out of the window in mute shock, watching snow like goose-down gently cover the hospital grounds outside.
‘Mum,’ he whispered. ‘It’s winter!’
‘It’s February. You’ve been here for almost ten months.’ Maggie stroked his hair as she spoke. ‘We thought… well, the doctors thought… they wanted us to…’
They sat in silence, staring out of the window as the world turned white. Jacob quietly lamented the loss of so many months of his life. The anger began to build - with Makash, with Dae, with the whole situation. For all his power and importance, he was a helpless victim, a pawn at the centre of an elaborate game and he felt used and deceived. And then he understood what his mum was trying to say, how his life had hung by a thread. Rebellion against his future reared itself.
Christine, Jacob’s nurse, popped her head round the door of the day-room. ‘There you are! I’ve got someone on the phone wondering whether you were up to more visitors. I said I’d ask; the doctor thinks it should be ok, depending how you feel?’
Jacob was pulled out of his bitter reflections. ‘Visitors… who?’
‘Luca and Ellen. They said they would wait if you weren’t up to it but I have to say, Ellen sounds very keen.’
If his emotional state had been turbulent before, it stepped up another gear, so that it bordered on manic with this news. Jacob wasn’t sure what he felt but it was strange. The feeling was somewhere between elation and dread.