‘Maybe you don’t use the things,’ she said, pulling a face, ‘but I personalised these.’
Jonas took a closer look and found his initial embroidered in white in different script on each handkerchief. ‘You actually found time to embroider all these yourself?’ he said incredulously.
‘Consider it a labour of love,’ she said, smiling. ‘Open the other parcel.’
With care he removed the wrappings from a nineteenth-century watercolour, and shot her a look which brought colour to her face. ‘Like the donor, Avery, this is exquisite.’
‘It’s a view of the castle ruins, circa 1840.’ She smiled at him. ‘It won’t go here, with your Greek stuff, but in your office, maybe?’
‘I’ll hang it in my bedroom in Chiswick.’ Jonas moved nearer to kiss her. ‘Thank you, darling. Come down to London next time and help me find the right spot for it. It’s time you saw my house.’
‘I’d just love to, but I can’t for a while. Helen and Louise are taking time off until school starts, and I can’t expect Frances to run the show single-handed.’ Avery smiled brightly. ‘But let’s not think of that. As somebody once said to me, let’s enjoy the here and now.’
After only a few minutes apart during their entire stay it was a wrench for Avery to leave the Barn on Thursday evening. She had pleaded to stay the night and travel back first thing in the morning, but Jonas was adamant about making sure the security and central heating systems were functioning in Gresham Road before he went back to London.
‘I can then leave happy that you’re safe and sound. Just remember to keep randy schoolboys away from your door in future,’ he ordered.
‘Yes, sir,’ she said, saluting, and took a long last look at the Barn as she got in the car. ‘It’s so lovely here. I adore this place.’
He smiled indulgently as he drove off. ‘We’re not leaving it forever.’
She sighed. ‘We won’t be back for a while, though.’
‘True. The first Saturday you can make it I want you with me in London. But be warned—my house is pretty humdrum compared with the Barn.’
‘Most places are!’
When they got back to Gresham Street the house felt cold. Avery hurried to switch up the heating she’d left turned low, and Jonas set up the new television in her bedroom, then lit the fire in the study so they could eat their supper in front of it. After the meal Jonas pulled her close.
‘Now we’re sitting comfortably, this is the point where I make a little speech.’
Avery stiffened. ‘About what?’
‘In the New Year my father intends to inform the Mercom board of directors that he’s handing the reins over to me. He gave me the glad news in the garden on Christmas Day, while he was smoking one of the cigars I gave him.’ Jonas stared into the fire, his hand tightening on hers.
‘Are you happy at the prospect?’ she asked carefully.
‘Resigned, rather than happy. Dad’s been making noises about playing more golf, travelling more with Mother and so on, but he’s not even sixty yet, so I hadn’t expected him to retire quite so soon.’
‘Is it his health?’
Jonas shook his head. ‘I asked him that, but he said this is his way of making sure he stays healthy. He feels he’s carried the Mercom baton long enough, so he’s handing it on to me.’
Avery looked up at him with misgiving. ‘Will this mean a lot of changes in your life?’
‘Not that many. I get a bigger office, more responsibility, and a lot more calls on my time, but in the main I’ll be doing more or less the same thing I’ve done for quite a while now. The only change will be the lack of my father’s guiding hand. Though even that will be there, ready and waiting, any time I need it. But I’ll make sure I don’t.’
‘Why?’
‘If I’m to be head man, Avery, I must damn well behave like it—with no running to Dad for help every time there’s a crisis. From tomorrow I’m on my own, without a safety net. I didn’t tell you sooner because I was determined nothing would spoil our first Christmas together.’
Avery looked up into the brooding face beneath the thick, glossy hair, and traced a finger over the curves of his mouth. ‘You won’t have much time for driving up here to see me in future.’
Jonas bit gently on her fingertip, then drew her onto his lap. ‘I’ve thought of a way round that, which brings me to part two of my speech.’ He smiled as he felt her tense against him. ‘Don’t worry. It’s a very short speech. We could solve the problem very simply by getting married. I love you, Avery Crawford. Will you marry me?’
CHAPTER EIGHT
AVERY stared at him in such stricken silence that Jonas put her back in her corner of the sofa.
‘Not quite the response I expected,’ he said wryly. ‘I’ve obviously given you a shock. Shall I get you a drink?’
She shook her head. ‘No, thank you.’
He gave her a baffled look. ‘Avery, if I hadn’t been certain you loved me I wouldn’t have said a word.’
‘I know,’ said Avery miserably. She drew in a deep, shaky breath. ‘I do love you, Jonas. So much I can’t marry you.’
‘What the hell are you talking about? If you love me why can’t you marry me? I need to know.’ His eyes clashed with hers. ‘Is there a husband you’ve forgotten to tell me about?’
‘Of course not.’
‘Then what is it?’ His mouth twisted. ‘I can’t believe you carry some melodramatic taint you refuse to pass on to future generations!’
‘It’s no joking matter,’ she said fiercely.
‘Do you see me laughing?’ he cut back at her. ‘After proposing for the first time in my life I think I’m entitled to know why you can’t—or won’t—say yes.’
‘Of course you are.’ Avery thrust a hand through her hair in anguish. ‘It’s my fault. I shouldn’t have let things get this far. I knew that from the very first day I came to the Barn.’
He stared at her blankly. ‘I thought you loved the place.’
‘I do.’ Her eyes met his. ‘But, as you told me, it’s no place for the children you want some day. I can’t give you any. So if you marry anyone, Jonas, it should be someone who can.’
‘Will you stop talking like some gothic novel and explain?’ he said roughly, and seized her hand.
She looked down at the long fingers bruising hers. ‘The first time you made love to me I let you assume that I take the necessary Pill. But a few years ago I had an emergency operation which ended my hopes of a family. If you remember,’ she added wearily, ‘I wasn’t keen to let you see my scar. Not because it’s so terrible to look at, but for what it represents. But at the time I didn’t know—didn’t realise—’
‘Realise what?’ he demanded.
‘How it would be between us.’ Avery looked up at him in desperation. ‘I love you so much it hurts, Jonas. But it wouldn’t be fair to marry you. Couldn’t we just go on as we are until…?’ She trailed away, silenced by the look in his eyes.
‘Until such time as I exchange you for a bride capable of providing me with issue?’ he said scathingly, and raked a hand through his hair. ‘I can’t believe this, Avery. I wish to God I’d never mentioned children. I’ve never thought of them as anything other than a vague possibility in the future some time.’
‘But face it, Jonas, there’ll come a time when you do want them. And your mother would like some grandchildren right now. You told me that yourself,’ she reminded him.
‘My mother doesn’t come into it.’ Jonas seized her by the shoulders, his eyes boring down into hers. ‘Are you honestly saying you refuse to marry me over something like this?’
‘You make it sound like some trifling kind of whim, but it’s not!’ she said miserably. ‘I’m trying hard to do the right thing here, Jonas. After the perfect time we’ve just spent together do you think this is easy for me?’
His eyes softened and his hands released their grip. ‘Of course I don’t.’ He moved back to his corner of the sofa and sat with legs
outstretched, staring into the dying fire. ‘Surely there must be other ways round this? IVF, or even adoption?’
‘IVF isn’t possible for me.’ She eyed his profile miserably. ‘And even if you were prepared to adopt, and something tells me you’re not, I won’t marry you knowing that some day you could regret it, Jonas. I’ll be your lover for as long as you want me, but—’
‘I want you on a permanent basis, as my wife!’
‘People don’t get married so much these days,’ she pointed out.
‘I know. I was one of those people until I met you.’ He shot a brooding, hostile look at her. ‘But now I’ve met you, Avery Crawford, an occasional weekend just isn’t enough any more.’
‘Once you’ve taken over from your father it’ll be the only thing possible between us.’
Jonas was silent for a while, then he turned to her with a look which made her uneasy. ‘All right. If marriage is out the alternative is simple. We just live together, like those other people you mentioned. You move back to London and share my house.’
Avery frowned as she thought this over. ‘You mean I just give up my business and my house? And then what? I sit at home waiting for you like a Stepford wife?’
‘Of course not! You could let this house, if you couldn’t bring yourself to sell it. Maybe Frances would like to take on the business. And someone with your financial experience would soon find something to do in London.’
‘Oh, I see.’ Her eyes flashed ominously. ‘You have it all worked out for me.’
‘Not to your liking, obviously,’ he snapped. ‘I want a wife. Or, failing that, I’m willing to settle for a partner. But you just want a part-time lover. So it’s checkmate.’ He was silent for a while, then gave her a searching look. ‘Is your problem your reason for ruling men out of your life since you left London, Avery?’
‘No. My lack of reproductive skills is nothing to do with it. After I came back here to live I lost all interest in men— until I picked you up that night in the Angel bar.’
‘For the first time I wish to God you hadn’t!’ He rubbed a weary hand over his eyes. ‘I can’t believe we’re having this conversation.’
‘I thought we’d never have to.’
‘Why?’
‘I took it for granted that we’d break up eventually.’ She shrugged. ‘That our affair was too hot not to cool down, as the song says.’
He turned on her, eyes glittering coldly. ‘While I was convinced I’d found the love of my life. But for you it was merely a weekend love affair you could walk away from one day, with no marriage lines to hold you back. Just like the others,’ he added harshly.
‘You make it sound like hundreds. There were only two!’ She jumped up, swallowing hard on the rock-like lump in her throat. ‘Jonas, I can’t do this any more. I’m going to bed. You’ve offered to sleep in the guest room before, so tonight I’ll take you up on it.’
Jonas shook his head as he got to his feet. He drew himself up to his full height and looked down his nose at her, every inch of him as intimidating as he’d once threatened. ‘There’s no point in prolonging the agony. I’ll leave right away.’
‘As you wish.’ Head high, she went out into the hall, convinced by the pain in her chest that her heart was breaking. ‘Goodbye, then. Thank you for the presents.’
Jonas smiled sardonically as he picked up the bag he hadn’t got round to taking upstairs. ‘Thank you for mine. It’s been a truly memorable Christmas.’
‘Very,’ she agreed gruffly, and opened the front door. ‘Drive safely.’
‘Avery, for God’s sake!’ His eyes locked with hers. ‘Is that really all you have to say? Does it have to end between us like this?’
She returned the look steadily. ‘Of course it doesn’t. It’s your choice entirely.’
‘And you’ve made yours,’ he said, in a tone which tore her to shreds.
She nodded dumbly, physically unable to say anything else without bursting into tears.
Jonas waited for a moment, but when Avery remained silent he turned on his heel and walked out of the house. He paused in the porch as she was about to close the door. ‘I almost forgot. Happy New Year.’
The post-Christmas lull allowed Avery to give Helen and Louise time off until school restarted, and she was deeply grateful that she had only Frances to face when she opened up next morning. A night of sobbing her heart out had done serious damage to her eyes, and her extensive repairs failed to deceive Frances’s eagle eye.
‘Oh, my dear, what’s wrong?’
‘Jonas and I broke up last night,’ Avery said baldly. ‘I had a good cry to get it out of my system, and—and—’ To her horror the tears started to flow again.
Frances promptly turned the sign back to ‘Closed’ on the door, and shooed Avery into the tiny staffroom they’d gained since the enlargement of the shop. ‘I’ll make coffee. You sit there and cry.’
Avery obeyed helplessly for a while, but at last she scrubbed at her eyes, blew her nose and managed a shaky smile. ‘I brought my entire supply of camouflage with me today. I had a feeling I might need it.’
‘Good move.’ Frances handed her a mug of coffee, then sat down beside her on the small padded bench built along one wall to save space. ‘If you like I’ll rattle on about my Christmas and not say a word about yours. Or you can tell me what happened, and why, and I’ll keep it strictly to myself.’
Avery sipped her coffee in silence for a moment, then turned to Frances with a look of desperation and began to tell her everything—right from the emergency laparotomy that had ended her hopes of ever having a child to the proposal from Jonas. ‘He told me when we first met that he wanted children some day, so I had to turn him down. When I wouldn’t budge on the marriage part he suggested I give up my house and the business and move in with him in London.’
‘That didn’t appeal to you either?’
‘Actually, it did.’ Avery sighed raggedly. ‘But, Frances, I just can’t take the gamble. If I did I’d have nothing to come back to when the affair was over. As I know from experience it would be one day.’
‘Oh, Avery, I’m so sorry,’ said Frances, patting her hand.
‘Don’t be too sympathetic or you’ll start me off again!’
‘There’s always adoption.’
Avery shook her head. ‘Not when Jonas is capable of having children of his own. So here I am, back to single blessedness.’ She smiled valiantly. ‘But that’s quite enough about me, Frances. How was your Christmas?’
‘I don’t know how to tell you this,’ began her friend ruefully. ‘But you might as well know straight away. I had a proposal over Christmas, too. But I accepted mine.’
Avery jumped up to hug her. ‘That’s such wonderful news! I’m so happy for you. Aren’t you glad, now, I bullied you into keeping that date with Philip?’
‘Of course I am.’ Frances eyed her apologetically. ‘But it also led to your meeting with Jonas. Do you regret that?’
Avery shook her head decisively. ‘At the moment it feels like the end of the world, but I wouldn’t change a thing. My four days of Christmas with Jonas were as near perfection as life gets. Which reminds me,’ she added, desperate to change the subject, ‘I forgot to tell you about my visit from Danny Morrell!’
Feeling tired, drained, and strangely detached in the aftermath of her tears, Avery checked her phone the moment she was home that night. But the only message was from a security firm asking her to ring to set a time for a visit. What visit? she wondered, and went into the kitchen, rummaging in her bag for her phone. She frowned. She must have left the thing at the shop. Hurray for good old land lines.
She rang the security firm on the kitchen phone and learned that they had been contacted by an employee of the Mercom group, instructing them to install an intercom for her at Gresham Road. Instead of telling them she wanted nothing to do with it Avery made an appointment for the following week, but made it clear that the bill was to be sent to her personally, not to Merco
m.
‘Frances, have you seen my phone anywhere?’ Avery asked next morning.
‘No, love. Maybe you left it at home.’
‘It’s not there, or in the car, so it must be here.’
‘Right, let’s search,’ said Frances briskly.
After a while Avery shook her head. ‘No sign of it. I’ll have to buy another one. Damn. That’s one expense I could do without right now.’
Frances shot a look at her as she got to work on the dress she was altering. ‘Did you leave it at the Barn?’
‘If I did it can stay there!’
‘Have you still got a key?’
Avery closed her eyes in frustration. ‘Oh, hell, so I have. Thank you for reminding me; I must post it back to Jonas.’
‘Before you do, pop over and look for your phone,’ said Frances practically.
‘He might be there.’
‘Is that such a bad idea?’
‘Yes. As Jonas said at the time, there’s no point in prolonging the agony.’ Avery smiled grimly. ‘He’s right. I’m a great believer in clean breaks.’
Frances pulled a face as she worked. ‘When Sean asked for a divorce I thought my world had ended. But it hadn’t. Life went on, and with your help I met Philip.’ She looked up. ‘You might meet someone else one day, too.’
Avery wanted Jonas Mercer, not someone else.
Due to a plea later from Christine Porter, to shorten a dress she’d sold to a customer to wear to a New Year’s Eve dance that very evening, both Avery and Frances worked non-stop to finish all the jobs promised for the big night. Avery shut up shop later with a feeling of anticlimax, wondering what on earth she would do for the next two days until she opened up again.
‘I hate to think of you alone tonight,’ said Frances, as they walked to the car park together.
‘I shall be fine, so don’t let it spoil your evening with Philip.’ Avery smiled reassuringly. ‘I picked up an offer on some classic film videos when I popped out to the supermarket.’
Their Scandalous Affair Page 11