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Diana spent a long, restless night in the quiet of the empty Hepple house. A breeze cooled the room, but not enough for her quilt to be comfortable. It quickly became too warm. She kicked it back, but then she felt inexplicably vulnerable and pulled it over her shoulders again. Just before dawn she fell into an uneasy sleep that neither rested nor refreshed her. When the first beam of sunlight spread across the window sill, she was instantly awake. She had no reason to go to the bank early, but preparing coffee and eating the kuchen left for her in the kitchen couldn’t be spun out to fill more than half an hour. Diana took her time dressing, but her workday ensemble of tailored skirt and pintucked overblouse didn’t require extensive attention. She went over the final exercises she’d prepared for Fred and Otto, making certain the instructions were clear and the tasks themselves would challenge their knowledge and ability. The men wouldn’t be coming to her classroom before the bank closed, so she didn’t need to be early for them. She wasn’t aware of any new work Adler had left for her to prepare, and if he had, Fred and Otto were now taking over much of the routine correspondence. Since her interview with Hooper, no additional sources of old-time fables or practices had come forth. She didn’t expect any visitors with colorful tales to share. Diana puttered about the house, rinsing her cup and plate, wiping the already immaculate kitchen, and generally looking for ways to fill the morning until time to go to the bank. Even Katje abandoned her when there was no more sauerbraten, strolling to the back door and demanding to be released to enjoy the morning sun. Diana cut two more squares of the kuchen to take for a snack and finally admitted she’d rather be at the bank than wandering aimlessly around the empty house.
The walk to the bank was remarkably unsociable. Neither of her usual escorts came by to walk with her. Because of the wedding, she supposed, they might think she wasn’t coming in until later, and Adler would be bringing her. When she thought about it, she realized she hadn’t made any definite plans for today with anyone, no cowboys, no itinerant peddlers, not even one of the elderly checkers players down at the town square expected to come by. She strolled on, strangely aware of her solitude, as if it were a physical weight on her shoulders. On the other side of the street she saw two women walking toward her, but they were engrossed in their conversation and didn’t speak or even acknowledge her. A group of boys were shooting marbles in front of the Sunday house on the corner, too involved in their game to look up as she passed. She arrived at the bank without speaking to another soul. As she entered the bank, she saw everyone was busy. A number of people were waiting for the tellers. Otto sat at his corner desk, talking earnestly with a young couple while their small son played with a carved wooden horse on the floor beside them. The door to Adler’s office was open, but she didn’t see him inside. Resigned to the silence of her small room at the back, Diana made her way down the narrow hall and unlocked the door.
The room was exactly as she’d left it the day before. Papers were neatly stacked on the table. The typewriting machines had their covers in place, and the chairs made a straight line at the back of the room. A quick glance assured her no pressing correspondence was stacked in the small basket waiting for her to attend to it.
Diana took off her hat and put it on the rickety lamp table at the far end of the room. From her handbag, she removed the exercise she’d created for her students. Then, with nothing left to prepare for the day, she settled at her worktable, pulled out the files of interviews with the assortment of old-timers Erlich had found for her, and began re-organizing the material for Dr. Elmsford. She’d decided an index of the various interviews by name and subject matter would be useful for the history professor and had made progress toward that goal. Now, with time on her hands, she thought an abstract of the information in each instance would be convenient as well. It could certainly save Dr. El a good bit of time. He could review the abstract and see if the interview had anything for whatever topic he was researching. Tedious for me but probably worthwhile for him. Might as well get on with it.
Never had a day been so long. In the entire period she’d been at the bank, whether teaching Fred and Otto, working with the interviews, or struggling with Adler’s wretched handwriting, she’d never had a day when no one came by to see her. Adler always stopped by, even if he didn’t have work for her. Fred and Otto usually came by during the day, bringing their lunches in and taking advantage of a little free time to practice on the machines. Erlich often dropped in with Elizabeth, either to tell her of someone who would be worth interviewing for her work or just to see how it was going. Today, no one came. The sense of being alone, shut out of the flow, nagged at Diana. This is what my life will be. I’ll never be sure Tommy Gunn’s men won’t find me. If the police ever discover who saw what that night, they’ll be looking for me, too. They may be anyway. I can’t count on staying in one place forever. Or make lasting friendships. I can’t even say I’ll always have Pam. It’s not safe to plan on anything.
The desolation of the life she faced wasn’t at all what Diana had planned when she learned her office skills and took up the cause of independence for women, but the realization was inescapable. It was hanging over her all day, no matter how she busied herself. The tasks she set herself might distract her for brief periods, but reality always came storming back. Life alone held no delight, no charm, and no comfort.
The long day moved along in tiny increments. She worked through a good part of her files, creating the abstracts and completing the index she’d set for herself. She took justifiable pride in a job well done, but she was more relieved than she could express when Fred and Otto came in for their last class. They looked a little apprehensive when she explained to them that their sessions had come to an end. She gave them the comprehensive assignment she’d prepared, a piece of work that would prove, to anyone who asked, the two men were competent and prepared to execute whatever work might require typewritten documents or correspondence. Hesitant at first, the men took their work to their tables and began. An hour later, Diana looked over the finished copy with satisfaction. They had produced excellent results.
“It’s been a pleasure to work with you, and I have no reservation about recommending you to Mr. Behr for any position.” She stacked the papers together. “In fact, if he’s still here, I’ll go and tell him now.” She shook hands with each of the men. “Thank you for volunteering to take the course with me. I’ve enjoyed getting to know you.”
Fred shook her hand with a grip almost painful in its enthusiasm. “Thanks, Miss Woods. We appreciate the chance you gave us. Your recommendation means a lot, but Adler didn’t come in today. He needed to get things done at the house. He said to send a message if he was wanted here.”
Things he needed to do at home? I suppose he’s packing Elizabeth’s things to be ready for moving while she’s at the farm, to have it all done when Papa and Lotte get back. Erlich will have things to move, as well. “Thank you for telling me, Fred. I’ll make certain he knows how well you’ve both done. I know he’ll be talking to you about future developments soon.”
The men didn’t linger, as they usually did, to practice or ask questions about exceptions or unusual circumstances they might encounter. With this final exercise completed, Diana had the distinct impression they might be going out for a small, private celebration. She couldn’t begrudge them their festivity; they’d worked diligently and given up a good bit of their free time to learn the new skill. Still, with the bank closed for the day, once they’d left, the silence and that strange feeling of being isolated from the world grew stronger. Diana finished the abstract she’d been working on; the town clock chimed five-thirty as she put the files away. She wasn’t certain how she’d spend the evening, but the silent, shadowy bank wasn’t the place to spend it.
What would she do for the rest of the evening? Her loquacious landlady usually had a cold mug of beer on the back porch about this time and would normally invite Diana to join her for a discussion of the day. Then they
’d reconnect with the men, Lotte’s other paying guests, for dinner where conversation was lively and the food excellent. As the evening cooled, Adler usually came by, suggesting a walk or a visit to the drug store for a scoop of ice cream. Then the slow, circuitous walk home, interrupted by the occasional kiss, a reminder that he loved her, finally arriving at the front steps, a goodnight kiss, and the admonition to “sleep well and see if you can find me in your dreams” to end the day.
Not tonight. No one waiting to hear about my day or how well Fred and Otto did. No evening walk or trip for ice cream. And…no…Adler…no…Adler…no one at all. And that’s going to be my life.
Diana looked down at the stack of papers Fred and Otto had left her. She’d told them—promised them, actually—she’d make a recommendation to Adler. The fact that he hadn’t come in during the day shouldn’t change her promise to her hardworking students. She owed it to them to show their employer how well they’d done and how they’d justified the investment he’d made in their training. She really did owe them that.
Having decided she should act on the promise she’d made, Diana put on her hat, thrust the typewritten exercises into her bag, and let herself out the back door of the meeting room. The afternoon sun was still bright when she walked around the corner and up the street. A number of people were meandering up the road, stopping at the market for something for dinner, lingering near the feed store chatting, or just gathering under the awning, out of the sun, to exchange the news of the day. She nodded at a familiar face or two and hurried on. The Behr house wasn’t far, and she made the walk in a very few minutes.
Without giving herself time to examine her motives, Diana hurried up the steps and knocked at the door. When her knock wasn’t answered immediately, she almost turned away to leave, but just as she was making the decision to go, the door opened. Adler, his sleeves rolled up, collar missing altogether, and shirt tails askew, smiled broadly.
“Diana, what a nice surprise. Come in.” He stepped back, his sharp glance probing. “Is something wrong? Has something happened?”
She stepped across the threshold, not having thought about what she was going to say, and was horrified at her own words. “Adler, about the idea of finding something we both want…” She clapped her hand over her mouth. That wasn’t what I meant to say!
He shut the door behind her and took her in his arms. “Something we both want?” He tilted her chin up. “Darling girl, you look like the hounds of hell chased you over here.” He drew her to the settee in the parlor, tucked her into its plush upholstery, and took her hands. “Now, tell me, what’s suddenly brought you to decide there might be something we both want? Has something happened?”
She shook her head, unable to order her thoughts for the moment. She tried to draw her hands from his. “No, I…I don’t know what made me say that.” Her small laugh, meant to be deprecating, only sounded defensive. “I really meant to tell you Fred and Otto have finished all the lessons and practice and are ready to take on any assignment you give them.”
His heavy eyebrows came together, his expression skeptical. “No, that’s not why you came, Diana. It may be what you told yourself, but it’s not why you’re here. Fred and Otto didn’t give you that tremble in your hands. Finishing their class with you didn’t make you pale as milk.” His gaze was insistent, and she found the steady reassurance of his arms a shelter from the thoughts that had plagued her all day.
She released a long sigh, all barriers crumbling. “You’re right. I told myself I was coming to talk to you about Fred and Otto, but…but really it was something else. I was alone at the house last night. The house was empty, except for me and the cat. I got to thinking about what my life is going to be…after I leave here. I’m always going to be afraid Tommy Gunn’s men will find me, or that the police will learn I was the one who saw those men take poor Haver from the club. If they do, then they’ll be looking for me, too. I can’t ever stay in one place very long. I’ll never know who I can trust, which means I can’t afford to get close to anyone. Pam will probably be in the same fix; it won’t be safe for us to be together. That’s not a life, it’s just an existence, getting from one day to the next, waiting for the next time I have to run away. Much as I love teaching, I probably can’t do it, because I can’t be sure who might be a hazard. I…I realized the life I’m looking at isn’t a life at all.”
He wrapped her in his arms, and his sturdy safe presence steadied her. “The result of all that anxiety is that one thing we both want is for you to have a real life, not a nightmare of insecurity, of always looking over your shoulder to see who might be following.” His lips brushed her forehead. “Yes, that’s certainly something we both want.”
In a very small, quiet voice, she added, “I don’t want to spend my life alone.”
“Another thing we both want. I don’t want a life without someone to care for and who cares for me. I don’t want to spend the next hundred years alone.”
In an even softer tone she asked, “What can we do about it, Adler?”
“Start by letting me love you. Let your head accept what your heart already knows.” He kissed her slowly, deeply, and the cold fear, fear she’d not given a name to, began to recede.
“I do know it.” Like a weary traveler who at last comes to a resting place, she let her head relax against his shoulder. “I fell in love with you the day your papa and I came to the house and you were having a tea party with Elizabeth. It was the most touching, loving thing I’d ever seen between an adult and a child, and it made my heart hurt, it was so dear. That was when I realized Adler Behr wasn’t the stern, gruff, distant man I thought I knew. When you said you loved me…I suppose I just couldn’t imagine it.”
“You do know it, now? You care for me, at least a little?”
“More than a little, more than anything. I just couldn’t see…still can’t see…what can be done about it.”
“All the impossibilities, the differences, the ‘we don’t want the same things’ complications aside, Diana, I do love you. You say you love me. If we start, as Lotte said, with something we both want, could that something be that we want to be together, plan a life together? Dearest exasperating little New Woman, will you marry me?”
“I don’t see…” she began but found his finger across her lips.
“If you’re going to say, you can’t see how to get around our differences, don’t do it. Don’t say it again. That doesn’t answer the question. Start with something you want, not something you don’t see a way to have. Answer the question. Do you want to marry me, Diana Woods? Disregard the ‘I don’t see how’ part of the problem. Just tell me yes or no.”
“Yes.” The word almost exploded from her lips.
“Very well. We will get married.” He kissed her again, quickly, as if fearing she’d add words to qualify her answer. “Now, my darling, one by one, we’ll work out ways to deal with the differences. You’ll compromise, I’ll compromise, and somehow we’ll find middle ground where we each get enough of what we want to make things work, and we’ll each give way to the other enough to keep the peace.”
“Can we find solutions to all the problems?”
He hugged her closer. “Papa and Lotte did. Of course, it took them years to do it, but if we use them as examples, maybe we can speed up the process.”
Chapter 19
Diana stirred in his arms, reluctantly making up her mind to go home. “I should go. You had things you needed to do, and I’m keeping you from them.”
He didn’t release her. “Rearranging bedrooms and packing little girl playtoys isn’t nearly as satisfactory as holding my girl and making pretty promises.” He tapped the brim of her hat. “Take that off and stay a while. Have dinner with me.” He gave her a sharp look. “While we’re speaking of dinner, what did you eat today? You’ve told me you can’t cook. Did Lotte leave you something?”
She thought about the last thing she’d eaten, the two pieces of Lotte’s kuchen she’d nibbled at lun
chtime, and suddenly realized some of her hollow feeling might be hunger. “I had some of her blackberry kuchen, but that was all.” A sudden smile tugged at her lips. “I guess I didn’t feel much like eating, not with all the other things taking over my world, suddenly knowing what kind of life I was letting myself in for. I thought I’d go to Bindler’s for lunch, but my mind was on other things, so, no, I didn’t really think about food.”
He stood up and held out a hand. “Follow me. I happen to know where there’s cold ham and pickles and fresh bread for sandwiches.” He grinned, suddenly looking like a boy planning mischief. “I even know where Papa has put away some of Lotte’s finest beer.”
“You paint a persuasive picture, Adler Behr.” She followed him to the kitchen and watched as he, with practiced ease, put together two hefty sandwiches.
“Now, my lady, this isn’t exactly a dainty tea, but it might wipe away the cobwebs so we can begin to think this thing through.” He put plates, a dark, plummy cake, and a bowl of whipped cream on the table beside the sandwiches and mugs of beer. “That should get us through the evening.”
Adler kept the conversation light and general as they ate. He asked about Fred and Otto and the training they’d received from her. Diana, on more comfortable ground, described the instruction she’d given the two men, the exercises they’d practiced to achieve proficiency, and how well they’d done with the final tasks.
Diana and the Three Behrs Page 23