by Joan Jonker
But to the children and watching neighbours, it was all very high drama. And when Jim took one of Nellie’s arms, and Harry the other, everyone felt like cheering but knew they’d be made to pay for it if they did. So when the men lifted her three feet off the ground, not a word was spoken by the children as they moved aside to make a pathway for her to be carried through. She was set down on her step, but the men didn’t release her arms because she was still struggling, shouting threats and swearing like a trooper. A minute passed and she still hadn’t let up, and Harry began to lose his patience. If he was home too late to take his wife to the pictures he’d have another battle on his hands. Not one like this, of course, but his wife would sulk for a week. ‘When yer’ve quite finished with yer little tantrum, we’ll let go of yer.’
‘I’ll get yer for this, I’ll take the poker to yer,’ Nellie spat. ‘I’ll soon sort you two out, yer pair of bleeders.’
Jim raised a stiffened finger and wagged it in front of her face. ‘You just listen to me. I’ve never hit a woman in me life, but I’m sorely tempted to give you a go-along because ye’re not like any woman I’ve ever known. Ye’re certainly no lady, and that’s a fact. So do yerself a favour, go inside and shut this door. Any more shenanigans out of yer and I’ll put yer under me arm and take yer to the police station. I’ll ask them to charge yer with assault and public disorder. They’ll keep yer in the cells overnight, and that should calm yer down.’ He pushed her gently backwards and pulled the door shut.
With straight faces, the two men made their way back to the sideboard. Once there, they doubled up with laughter. With tears running down his face, Jim looked at George. ‘Why didn’t yer warn us, George? I’d have brought me boxing gloves if I’d known.’
‘I’m sorry about that, lads, I really am. We were told she was a bully, but I had no idea she was that bad. It looks as though we’re going to lead a very hectic and noisy life.’
‘I thought it was hilarious,’ Jim said. ‘I wouldn’t have missed it for the world. But ye’re going to have yer hands full with her, George, and I don’t envy yer, ’cos she’s a little spitfire.’ He picked up his end of the sideboard. ‘Come on, Harry, the show’s over.’
Tess was white-faced. ‘Ooh, she’s a very bad lady she is. I’m never, ever going to speak to her, I don’t like her.’
‘Yer won’t be the only one,’ Billy said. ‘No one in the street speaks to her, she’s horrible.’ Billy Cartwright was six months younger than his mate, James, and he wasn’t due to leave school until next summer. He was a nice-looking boy with auburn hair, brown eyes and a fresh complexion. Tall for his age, he always looked neat and clean. ‘They don’t half have rows in their house, yer’ll probably hear them through the wall.’
It was then that George’s brother and his wife came on the scene. They could tell there was tension in the air, with people standing in groups, unsmiling and nodding their heads. ‘What’s been going on here?’ Ken asked. ‘There’s something up.’
‘A pound to a penny Nellie Bingham’s involved,’ Milly said knowingly. ‘Her mother should have poisoned her when she was a pup.’
Maddy was the first to spot them and she ran towards them, James Cobden following close enough to be her shadow. He was a tall lad for his fourteen years, with blond hair, blue eyes and a deep dimple in his chin. ‘Oh, Uncle Ken, you’ve just missed a fight,’ Maddy said, still in a state of shock. ‘The woman next door was kicking and punching the two men who brought our furniture. Mr Jim threatened to take her to the police station and said she’d have to spend the night in the cells.’
‘Who is it ye’re talking about?’ Ken asked, thinking his brother and Ann wouldn’t be very happy, they weren’t used to fights in the street. ‘And who started it?’
‘I bet it was Nellie Bingham,’ Milly said, hoping to be proved right. ‘Wouldn’t yer think she’d have kept out of the way for one day?’
‘It was Mrs Bingham.’ The vision of her being carried through the air, kicking and screaming, would stay with James forever. It was about time someone put her in her place, she was a menace. The women in the street were afraid of her, and the men felt they couldn’t exchange fisticuffs with a woman, it wouldn’t be right, even if she was a devil. ‘The two men lifted her up in the air and put her in her house. They said if she came out again they’d take her to the police station.’
‘Come on, Milly, let’s go and see what’s going on.’ Ken weaved his way around the van and the children, with Milly hanging on to his sleeve. ‘Our kid’s not going to like this sort of carry-on, he’ll do his nut.’
His wife was going to say they’d been warned, but thought it wiser to keep her mouth shut. It did no good to rub salt in an open wound.
The two workmen were coming out of the door and Jim took one look at Ken and said, ‘No mistaking you, ye’re George’s brother. He’s just been saying yer didn’t live far. Pity yer didn’t get here in time for the big picture, it was an eye-opener.’
Ken nodded as he passed them. ‘So I’ve heard.’ He walked into the living room, which was a replica of his own, and found George, Ann and Lizzie hard at it. Now the sideboard was in place, there was room for the cutlery and crockery that had been unpacked, so Ann was handing it over to her husband with instructions as to where it should go. ‘All right, our kid? I hear yer’ve had a very warm welcome.’
George grinned. ‘I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. If you’d seen it at the pictures you wouldn’t know whether to describe it as a comedy or a drama.’
Lizzie came through from the kitchen. ‘Where the hell d’yer think you’ve been? Half the work’s done now, and you stroll up as cool as a bleedin’ cucumber as though there’s all the time in the world! I bet yer were hoping it was all finished and yer could sit down and smoke a fag while drinking a cup of tea. Well I’ve got news for yer. Yer can get that bloody jacket off, and if yer hands aren’t dirty in ten minutes I’ll want to know why. We’ll have no skivers here.’
Ken was chuckling as he reached for his wife’s arm. ‘Milly, this is the bigmouth I was telling yer about what works with George. Her name’s Lizzie, she never stops talking and she thinks she knows everything. Lizzie, I’d like yer to meet the wife.’
‘Hello, queen, it’s nice to meet yer. I don’t know what to say, really, except yer have my deepest sympathy. Anyone what lives with the queer feller deserves a medal.’
‘I agree with yer, Lizzie, he’s not easy to live with,’ Milly said, turning her mouth down at the corners. ‘Take today, for instance, he knew we were expected round here to help, but he insisted on a flippin’ big dinner. He won’t discommode himself for no one, brother or no brother.’
‘Shame on you, Ken.’ Ann was smiling as she came through with her arms full of bedding. She knew Milly was piling it on. ‘If you’ve come to work, then these are to go in that cupboard in the recess. It is clean, so all you have to do is lay them out neatly. Sheets, pillowcases and towels on the middle shelf, anything else on the bottom. I want the top shelf leaving for ornaments and such-like.’
Milly took off her coat, looked around, then asked, ‘Where can I put this?’
‘There’s some hooks under the stairs, you can put it there.’
‘Give it here, queen, I’ll hang it for yer.’ Lizzie had come prepared for work, with her sleeves rolled up, a scarf covering her head and wearing a wrap-around pinny. ‘Take that bedding off Ann, then we can get more stuff out for yer. We haven’t done so bad, the pans and frying pans are all on the shelf, the kettle’s on the stove and the teapot on the draining board. One of the tea chests is nearly empty, so with an extra pair of hands we should be able to get it out of the way in no time and that’ll give us more room out here.’
‘That’s you sorted out, love,’ Ken said. ‘Now what can I do?’
‘I’ve been helping Jim and Harry with small stuff,’ George told him. ‘Perhaps you could do the same. The likes of chairs, small tables, mirrors and plants. It all helps.’
James and Billy were standing by the girls, and with them was the little boy who’d had his arm pinched by Nellie Bingham. He was only about eight, and Tess had felt sorry for him and beckoned him over. ‘Did she hurt you?’
‘Yeah, not half! I bet I’ve got bruises, and me mam will kill me. She’ll say I shouldn’t have been here in the first place.’
‘No she won’t,’ Tess said, feeling the boy had been hurt enough, never mind his mother killing him. ‘I’ll come to your house with you and explain to your mother.’
‘His mam won’t hit him.’ Billy ruffled the boy’s dark curly hair. ‘She loves the bones of him, doesn’t she, Peter?’
Before the boy could answer, Lizzie popped her head out of the door and called, ‘James and Billy, will yer do us a favour and take one of the chests back? But come round the back and carry it down the entry, save getting in the men’s way.’
‘I’ll come with you.’ Maddy was tired of standing and wished it was all over. ‘My legs are stiff standing in one spot.’
‘I’m coming too!’ Tess said. ‘That’s if we can find which entry door is ours.’
‘That’s all right, we know which it is. Me and Billy only live a few doors down.’
While the chest was being manoeuvred out of the kitchen door, Maddy and Tess pressed their noses to the back window. They saw the table was in the middle of the room and their mother was spreading their chenille cloth over it. The sideboard was set against a wall and the two fireside chairs were in position either side of the hearth. Apart from little things like ornaments, the only thing missing was the couch. ‘Ooh, er, it won’t be long now,’ Tess said. ‘And doesn’t it look nice and bright?’
Maddy nodded. ‘We should be able to go in soon. But shall we go with the boys to take that big box back to wherever it’s going? It would be better than standing around.’
With a girl on either side, the boys looked as happy as Larry as they carried the chest between them. They felt they’d found new friends. Pretty ones at that! And they didn’t half talk posh.
Chapter Eighteen
‘Come on, George, have some more stew, there’s plenty over.’ Lizzie stood behind George’s chair using both hands to carry the huge iron pan, which was blackened by years of standing on the fire hob with clouds of sooty smoke billowing round it. ‘I’m sure yer can find a bit more room in yer tummy.’
‘Lizzie, I’m so full I can hardly breathe.’ He patted his bulging stomach. ‘But it was a very tasty meal and I thoroughly enjoyed it.’
Lizzie tutted as she turned to Ann. ‘What about you, queen?’
‘My seams are about to give any minute, I’m absolutely stored.’
Maddy waved an open hand. ‘Don’t ask me, Mrs Lizzie, I’m nearly bursting.’
‘Me too!’ Tess said. ‘I couldn’t eat another mouthful.’
Lizzie looked across the table. ‘What about you, Norman? Have yer got room for a bit more, or are yer full?’
Her husband shook his head. ‘I’m bloated, sweetheart. If I had another spoonful I wouldn’t be able to drink me two pints, there’d be no room for it.’
‘Oh, we can’t have that, can we! That would be the end of the bleedin’ world if you had to miss yer ruddy pints.’
His smile covered everyone around the table. ‘Anyone would think I was a boozer. But it’s me darling wife what pushes me out of the door every Saturday night, and d’yer know why? It’s because I’m always sweet-tempered when I’ve had a drink, and she can worm anything out of me. At least that’s the only way I can account for what she tells me on the Sunday morning. I’m supposed to have promised her this, that and the other, things I wouldn’t have dreamt of promising if I’d been in me right mind.’
‘Stop moaning,’ Ann said, jokingly. ‘You don’t know how lucky you are if you get meals like this every day. I don’t know how you managed it, Lizzie, because you couldn’t have got home from work until half twelve, and you’ve been helping us since one o’clock.’
‘I’m organised, yer see, queen. I got the stewing meat on me way home last night, and the spuds and veg. And I prepared everything, so all I had to do when I came in today was put it on the stove. Oh, and I threw in a cupful of barley for good measure. I brought it to the boil and then turned it on to a low light and let it simmer all afternoon.’
‘Well, it was lovely.’ Ann got to her feet. ‘Me and the girls will do the washing-up, so give me the pan and I’ll put it on the stove for you to finish off tomorrow.’
‘We won’t eat it tomorrow, queen, ’cos our Vera and her husband are coming and I’ve bought mutton chops for the dinner.’ She looked undecided for a few seconds before saying, ‘Don’t be offended, but could you eat it tomorrow? There’s enough left for the four of yer, and it would be a shame to throw it away.’
Ann glanced at George to see if he would give her a sign, but his expression gave nothing away. She hadn’t got the Sunday dinner in yet and had been intending to slip down to the shops before they closed at seven. But it would be a shame to waste the stew that was over, and she didn’t want to hurt Lizzie by refusing. ‘It would be a sin to throw it away, it’s delicious. If you’re quite sure, then we’ll be glad to have it. If I don’t have to cook tomorrow it will give me the full day to put everything away where it should be.’
Lizzie looked pleased. ‘I’ll put the pan lid on for yer to take it home.’
‘Thank you, you’re an angel.’ Ann cast her eyes on her daughters. ‘Come on, Madelaine and Theresa, help clear the table and we’ll wash up.’
‘While ye’re doing that, queen, I’ll make a brew for us.’
Norman made a move to stand up. ‘You sit down, love, I’ll make the tea.’
Lizzie gaped. ‘Yer what! You’ll make the tea! What’s wrong with yer, are yer sickening for something? If you put yer hand on the handle of that teapot it would fall off with shock.’
Norman settled himself back in his chair and winked at George. ‘I only offered ’cos I knew she wouldn’t let me.’ He took out his packet of Woodbines and held it across the table. ‘Help yerself, and we can relax with a smoke while the women do the work.’
So the men sat puffing away, quietly getting to know each other by talking about their jobs and their favourite football team, while the kitchen was a hive of activity and chatter.
‘Did Auntie Milly like your hair, Mam?’ Maddy asked, putting plates away after Tess had dried them. ‘Did she think it suits you?’
Ann laughed. ‘D’you know, she’d been there an hour before she noticed it. I think the shenanigans of Nellie Bingham outshone my new hairstyle. But when she finally did notice, she said it really suited me. At first she thought I was pulling her leg when I told her you’d done it, Madelaine, so you must have done a good job. Don’t be surprised if she asks you to trim her hair before the week is out.’ Ann lifted her hands from the soapy suds and rested them on the edge of the sink. ‘She wasn’t the only one who took a while to notice either, ’cos Tilly Mint here,’ she jerked her head to where Lizzie was standing waiting for the kettle to boil, ‘she didn’t mention it until Milly did!’
‘Young Tess didn’t give me time to notice, queen, ’cos the first thing she said to me was, “D’yer like me mam’s new hairstyle?” I was going to pass comment, but thought yer might be insulted by the words that were on the top of me tongue. If I’d said the short hairstyle took ten years off yer, it would sound as though yer looked as old as Granny Grunt before. But it does suit yer, queen, and it does make yer look a lot younger.’ The water in the kettle began to boil and Lizzie reached for a piece of cloth to cover her hand before picking it up. ‘Tea will be ready in five minutes, so put a move on ’cos me throat’s parched.
Norman had been told
about the incident with Nellie and Jim, but he came back to it when they were all seated around the table having their drinks. ‘It wasn’t what yer’d call a house-warming party, was it? Yer must be asking yerself if yer done the right thing by moving here.’
George put his cup down in the saucer, wiped the back of a hand across his moustache and smiled. ‘To tell you the truth, when she first started I thought it was a joke. Then I was shocked, because I’ve never seen anything like it in my life. And I was concerned for Jim, who got the worst of it. But he took it very well and actually thought it was funny. So I decided to do the same as him and see the funny side. And I think that’s the best approach for us. We should ignore her if possible, if not, laugh at the things she does and don’t let her get us down. She’s definitely got a screw loose, there’s no doubt about that. She actually wanted everyone to move out of the way so she could have a ringside seat to see everything that was being carried into our house. And she didn’t care if the whole street knew! I felt like asking her if she’d like an inventory of every stick of furniture we had.’
‘There’s one incident yer don’t know about, ’cos I’ve been keeping it to meself until now so yer could all hear it at the same time.’ Lizzie sat back, folded her arms and hitched up her bosom. ‘Wait till yer hear this,’ she said in a voice lowered to enhance the mystery. ‘D’yer know when the boys were taking the first tea chest out the back way? Well, the girls were with them, and I watched them walking down the entry to make sure they could manage. Then after I’d closed the entry door, I turned to walk back up the yard when I heard a noise from next door. It sounded like something being dragged along the ground, like a chair or stepladder. I thought the queer one was up to something, so I stood very still, hidden from view by the lavvy. There were a few more sounds, then everything went quiet so I moved away from the lavvy, and yer’ll never guess what I saw. The cheeky bitch was standing on something and was looking over the wall into your yard. And she had her arms on the wall as though she intended to make an afternoon of it! I don’t know who got the biggest shock, her or me! It must have been her ’cos she tried to get down before I could call her all the nosy buggers going. But in her haste she must have knocked over the chair she was standing on, and she was left with her arms on the wall and her feet on fresh air! It’s the first time I’ve ever seen Nellie Bingham lost for words, but if looks could kill, I’d be a dead duck now. Anyway, I could hear her feet scraping on the wall, trying to find a foothold, and I started laughing. I told her she’d got herself up, she could get herself down, but, being a good-living woman, if she was still there at tea time I’d take her a cup of tea out. And to rub salt in the wound, I said I could see she was in a predicament, like, and wouldn’t be able to hold a cup, so I offered to hold it for her while she had a drink. And when I was walking away I told her that yer always get paid back for doing wrong, and she was getting paid back for being such a nosy cow.’