“Do I know you, dear?” she asked, trying to recognize my face.
“No - we never met. I worked with Brittany at Crimson. My name’s Natalie.” I held out my hand.
“Oh, you’re Natalie!” she exclaimed and her eyes started to tear up again. I hadn’t expected this reaction. “Brit mentioned you in her – in her suicide note,” she said the last part softly as if the words themselves inflicted physical pain.
“She did?” I asked my eyebrows lifted with surprise.
“Yes. Here sit down, dear.” She gestured for me to sit next to her and took my hand in hers. She was as small as Brittany, but more frail with her graying hair and deep creases framing her mouth. I eased down onto the cushion next to her. “She didn’t say much, her note said – ‘please tell Natalie that I’m sorry’ and that was it. Do you know what she meant by that?”
I lowered my head and tried to compose myself before looking back at the grief-stricken woman. “I think so. I tried to help her through a rough patch recently. But, she shut me out over a week ago,” I responded with a half answer. It was close enough to the truth.
“Oh,” Brit’s mom looked slightly disappointed as if she was banking on me to tell her why her daughter had ended her own life. I wanted to tell her the truth about her daughter’s rape, but it would be cruel to burden this woman further with more turmoil, plus it was too dangerous to reveal.
“I am so sorry for your loss. I only knew Brittany briefly, but long enough to know how special she was.” I hugged Brittany’s mom and she clung to me, sobbing heavily against my shoulder. I held her until she was ready to pull away, handing her a tissue from a box on the coffee table in front of us.
“Thank you,” she sniffed as she dabbed her eyes. “And thank you for your kind words. Brittany may have been a handful at times, but her fearlessness is what I loved the most about her.”
“Brit will be missed,” I added as I stood up. Someone else was waiting to pay their respects.
Dominic was standing across the room talking to a couple of waitresses from Crimson; his eyes met mine as I crossed the room.
“Ready to go?” I asked when I finally reached him.
“Ready when you are.”
I held his hand as he led us through the cramped room and I welcomed the fresh air when we stepped out on to the front stoop. I hadn’t realized how claustrophobic the small home was. I needed a drink, badly, but refused to give into the craving. If I was going to get through this, I needed to be sober.
“Take me home,” I begged Dominic. I think he sensed the urgency, because several stop signs and red lights were disregarded in his haste to get me back to our condo. I was drained; literally emotionally spent and just wanted to be alone. The second we were home, I drew a hot bath and sunk in up to my chin. The hot water helped relieve the tension that had returned to my shoulders. The quiet solitude of the bathroom was the sanctuary I needed. As my muscles unwound, so did my mind. A little over a week ago I had promised to make an effort and start living again. Sitting there in the sudsy water, I made an addendum to that promise. I was going to live for Brittany too.
The water began to cool down, so I stepped out of the tub. Dominic wasn’t in the bedroom, so I wandered out into the living room, with only a towel wrapped around my body. He was in the kitchen cooking something that smelled delicious causing my stomach to growl.
“Feel better?” he asked as he dropped chopped garlic into a sauté pan.
“Tons - I swear baths are therapeutic.” He grinned at my answer and tossed some diced tomatoes in with the garlic, the pan sizzled. “What are you making?” I asked, sniffing the air.
“I have chicken parmesan in the oven and I’m going to sauté zucchini in with the garlic and tomatoes.”
“I didn’t think I was hungry, but that smells so good, I’m actually starving.”
“Well, you didn’t eat anything today…yet.”
“I’m going to go get dressed.” I turned to head back to the bedroom.
“You don’t have to. You look quite appetizing in the towel.” He winked at me.
“Too bad you’re busy cooking. I could be your appetizer,” I teased. He cursed the sauté pan and I giggled. “I can still be your dessert,” I let the towel drop and walked away, feeling aroused as I knew he was watching my nakedness retreat.
I wanted to eat quickly and get right to the ‘dessert’, but once I bit into the chicken parm I needed to savor it.
“This is delicious! Where did you get the recipe?” I asked.
“Who do you think? Aunt Gloria.”
“Ah, yes. “ I inhaled another bite of the crispy, cheesy, saucy goodness. Dominic set down his fork to watch me eat. I think I made up for the past month of missed meals in one sitting. Finally, I had to stop. I couldn’t shovel another bite into my mouth or I was going to explode. Leaning back in the chair, I patted my taut stomach.
“Did you get enough to eat?” Dom asked as he glanced down at my empty plate.
“Mmmm, that was delicious!”
“So can we move onto dessert?”
I answered his question by straddling him at the table. I was wearing one of his long sleeve button-down shirts, which fit like a dress, and nothing else. He was quick to discover this and his hands eagerly explored my body. This purely human connection grounded me and expelled any negative thought from my mind. Dominic scooped me up and carried me effortlessly to our bedroom. We spent the rest of the night in bed, hungry for each other and making up for lost time, each caress further erasing the invisible scars left by Mr. Genovese.
I woke the next morning feeling more normal than ever. The anxiety that constantly pressed on my heart had lifted. Dominic was sprawled out next to me, the sheet barely covering him. He was deep asleep, so I carefully got out of bed. The condo was still and quiet as I walked to the deck. Once again the sun was shining and filtered through the glass doors. I stepped out into the cool morning air and eased into a deck chair. The sun was warm and the alcove soon toasty warm. My eyes were closed, but I heard the deck door slide open. Dominic kissed my lips.
“Morning Sunshine,” he murmured. “I need to head out and do some things. You gonna be alright?”
“I’ll be fine. I think I might head up to the co-op. It’s been awhile.”
“Cool. I’ll call you later,” he bent down and kissed me again. His lips lingered longer this time. “I love you Nat. It’s good to have you back.”
“I love you too. Thanks for sticking it out with me.” He squeezed my shoulder and went back inside.
I sat on the deck for a while after Dom left debating whether to go for a run or go directly to the co-op. Feeling the need to express myself, I opted for the latter. Having made the decision, I was anxious to get going. I hurried inside and showered off the smell of sex, slipped on jeans and a hoodie then headed out the door. As soon as I pulled out onto Columbus Boulevard the familiar dark blue sedan appeared behind me. What could they possibly want this time?
Sure enough the agents followed me to the co-op and parked on the opposite side of the street. I didn’t even acknowledge their presence. Brittany weighed heavy on my mind and instead of sculpting, I painted. I focused on the bubbly Brittany, the person I met my first night at Crimson. It was easy to sketch out her face from memory. Then the darker Brittany crept into my mind, pushing the sunny one away. I sketched the other half of her face to include the torment and pain that had haunted her last days. Once this was sketched out on the canvas I worked with acrylic. Using this paint on canvas was so easy to work with, if you made a mistake, you could just paint over it and fix it. I stepped back to look at my progress. It wasn’t bad and the difference between the two halves of the face was obvious, if not disturbing. I had done enough for the day and cleaned up the area, leaving the painting to dry on the easel.
I wasn’t surprised to see Agent Phillips waiting by my car when I left the co-op.
“Agent Philips,” I acknowledged.
“Ms. Ross.
We need to talk.” He was less polite than the last time. I stopped by the driver’s side door and waited for him to ask his questions.
“Are you aware that there is a criminal investigation being conducted that involves your boyfriend and your brother?”
My skin turned cold and my stomach suddenly felt full of lead bricks. “What are you talking about?”
“They are persons of interest into the slaying of Luigi Genovese and three others in New York City a little over a month ago.”
“You think they did that? Are you crazy? They would have to be crazy to go and do something stupid like that!” I exclaimed, attempting to refute his claim.
“Calm down, Ms. Ross. I came here so you can pass a message along,” he paused. “The Genovese family has the same suspicions. Your brother and boyfriend need to watch their backs. If they want to talk about available options and get protection, have them contact me.” He handed me his business card. I took it with a shaking hand.
“Thank you for your time Ms. Ross.” He said and then walked back to his car. The second he had his back to me I went to open my door, but hadn’t unlocked it yet, I fumbled for my keys and managed to unlock the door. As soon as I was safe in the confines of my car, I called Grant.
“Grant, it’s Nat. Jesus Christ, we need to talk. Now!” I knew I sounded hysterical and hoped it got his attention.
“What’s going on?”
“The FBI just paid me a nice visit and they had some really fucked up news.”
“Wait, we can’t talk about this over the phone. Where are you?”
“Manayunk. At the co-op.”
“You sound upset, are you okay to drive?”
“No.” And I wasn’t. The way my legs were weak and shaking, I didn’t trust myself to accelerate or brake safely.
“Alright. Just stay put. I’ll be there soon,” he said and hung up. I did what he said and waited inside my car. One of the artists came up and tapped on the window. “Are you alright?” she yelled through the glass. “I’m fine, waiting for someone,” I yelled back and gave her a thumbs up. She smiled and continued on her way.
Grant must have broken every traffic law in the book because he pulled up behind my car in less than twenty minutes and during rush hour too. I got out of my car and went to sit in the passenger seat of his Lexus.
“What’s going on?” he asked immediately.
I took a deep breath to steady my voice and answered. “Agent Phillips with the FBI wanted me to give you and Dom a message. They’re investigating you both in the murders of Mr. Genovese,” I winced when I said his name, “and the other three. He also said that the five families suspect you too and to watch your backs.” I handed him Agent Phillips business card. “He said that you should call him if you want to talk and want protection.”
Grant licked his lips several times so I knew he was upset by my news. He didn’t give any other indication that he was affected as he sat there in silent contemplation, chewing on his bottom lip.
“Did he say anything else?” he asked, finally breaking the silence.
“No. That was it. What are you going to do? Are you going to call him?”
“I’m not calling him because he’s going to try to get me to testify against everyone in order to save my ass…and I’m not a traitor.”
“Oh, so you would rather get killed or go to prison? Great fucking plan, Grant,” I responded angrily. “Did you consider me at all? What the hell am I supposed to do if any of those two things happen?”
He was silent again as he mulled this over. “I didn’t think of it, because those things won’t happen,” he reassured me.
I rolled my eyes at this. “What, are you omniscient now? You and Dom did kill those men and it’s just a matter of time before the feds lock you up or the five families knock you down. I think that you should talk to Agent Phillips, at least feel him out.”
“No. That is not an option,” he barked and smacked his hand against the steering wheel hard enough that the horn chirped.
“God, you are so fucking stubborn! I’ll talk some sense into Dom.”
“Go ahead if you don’t want him to trust you ever again. He’ll think you’re weak and will turn on him and his family just for considering it.”
“Yeah right!” I scoffed.
“Fine, find out the hard way,” Grant shrugged his shoulders indifferently. His face was stern, making him look older than his 25 years.
“Are you serious? Would Dom really do that?”
“Yes. Family loyalty is first and foremost with the Grabanos. No matter how much you think he loves you, the second he doubts your loyalty, you’ll get kicked to the curb and I’ll probably be considered a risk then too.” We both knew what happened to risks. I felt helpless. Grant uncharacteristically reached over and patted my knee. “Just hang in there and don’t worry, everything will work out,” His attempt to reassure fell flat because his forced optimism did nothing to break up the knots in my stomach.
“What should I do if the FBI approaches me again?”
“Hear them out, be polite and give them absolutely nothing,” he advised. “And let me talk to the boys. I’ll let them know about the potential threat with the five families. We’ll be on our guard.”
I sighed and leaned my head back against the headrest. Life was returning back to normal, the FBI was watching me and lives were in danger. I needed a fucking vacation.
“Hey Grant? Let’s go visit Mom for a couple days.” He stared at me with his eyebrows raised.
“I thought you were avoiding her.”
“I am, well was, but I’m sure she’s missing us and you did say she’s worried…plus, it would be nice to get away from things for a while,” I admitted.
“How about next Sunday and Monday we head up? I can arrange it with Miranda to have Sunday night off.”
“One of the perks of sleeping with the manager, huh?” I teased. “That sounds good.” I felt better already and was actually looking forward to going home, for once. In the past I dreaded being in the suffocating house trying to live up to my mom’s high expectations. I opened the car door and started to get out.
Grant leaned over towards the passenger seat and asked “Are you calm enough to drive? You won’t run over any unsuspecting pedestrians will you?” He loved to tease me about my driving. I had one accident in my driving career and will never live it down. Fortunately, it didn’t involve any pedestrians as he was alluding to now.
“Ha, ha. You’re hilarious,” I stuck my tongue out at him and shut the door. He made sure I was safely in my car before driving away from the curb. I pulled out right behind him and attempted to follow him back to the city. He made a game out of weaving in between cars and bouncing from lane to lane that I gave up after the first five miles.
Dominic wasn’t home. It was well after seven and I was starving. I spied the leftover chicken parm in the fridge and snatched it up. While my dinner was heating up in the microwave I turned on some music. Believe Me Natalie, by The Killers was on and I danced around the island, my stomach growling louder as the microwave counted down. With my back to the door and the music blaring, I didn’t hear Dominic come home and I didn’t hear him walk up behind me either. When he wrapped his arms around me I jumped and screamed. I spun around armed with my fork and when I saw it was him, the fork clattered to the tile floor and I hugged him, giggling nervously at my reaction. He laughed too and returned the hug.
“Geez, I saw my life flash before my eyes when you came at me with that fork,” he joked.
“I’m the fastest fork in the East.” Although the comment about his life flashing before his eyes, even though said jokingly, reminded me of Agent Phillips warning. Before I could dwell on it, the microwave beeped and distracted me. One thing was for sure, my appetite had returned and with a vengeance.
Steamed poured out of the container when I removed the lid and the chicken smelled just as delicious as it did yesterday. “Do you want some?” I asked Dom.
“Are you going to share?” He teased, feigning shock.
“No, I changed my mind,” I crouched over the food, pretending to guard it and hissed. Dom bent over on the counter and lost it. His deep laugh shook his entire body. I realized how silly I must have looked and cracked up too. Soon tears were rolling out of our eyes we were both laughing so hard.
It took a few minutes, but we finally got a grip. “I missed you, baby,” Dom said as he joined me at the counter to get his dinner.
“I know I wasn’t a barrel of laughs these past few weeks. That felt good. Somehow, I think Brittany would have appreciated it.”
“I think you’re right,” Dom agreed. “She was always full of it.” He wacked my butt as he walked behind me to go around the counter and sit at the bar. I followed and sat next to him. We enjoyed a quiet dinner at home. I told him about my plans to go visit my mom. He agreed that it would be good for me to go see her.
“You’re not avoiding her because of how she feels about me, are you?” he asked.
“No, that’s not it at all. We’ve never been close, but I know I look like hell and she’ll probably blame you. I have been putting off seeing her and delaying it is only arousing suspicions…about you,” I paused. “Seeing her will help put those suspicions to rest.
He took my hand in his and kissed the top. “It’s definitely time for you to see her. What do you mean, she has suspicions?”
I laughed nervously before answering. “Well, she told Grant how she thinks you’re abusing me. Can you believe that?”.
He shook his head, his green eyes widening in disbelief. “Wow. She really thinks that?”
“Yes, that’s why I need to go see her. Don’t take it personally though, she would probably be suspicious of any boyfriend of mine. The fact that you’re technically my first serious boyfriend and I’m living with you has probably pushed her closer to the edge.” I reassured him and tried to make light of my mom’s crazy notions. Dominic looked down at his plate for a few minutes before meeting my eyes. He had a strange look on his face when he finally did look up.
The Beautiful People (The New Mafia Trilogy) Page 21