Where I Belong (Alabama Summer)

by Daniels, J.

  Friends don’t hold hands. Friends don’t sit this close. And Ben knows these things. I don’t care what the rules of friendship are because I’m not sure I want Ben as a friend. Not when he makes me feel like this. But that must be how he’s seeing me because he’s breaking our contact. I slide back over to my side and open my door, jumping out of the truck. I open the back door and lean my head inside, pressing a kiss to Nolan’s temple. “Goodnight, Sir Nolan,” I whisper, seeing him stir a bit. I look up front at Ben whose bright gray eyes are studying me. “Goodnight, Ben.”

  “Goodnight,” he says with a smile that seems guarded, unlike his usual halt me in my place smile that makes me forget how to breathe.

  I go to close the door but stop myself, turning back to Ben. “I’m really sorry I broke your stereo.”

  “What?”

  I wince at the memory. “Remember the summer before I moved away? I went to your room to borrow your stereo and I knocked it off your desk, breaking it. I’m really sorry about that.”

  He shakes his head, his brow furrowing. “What made you think about that?”

  I shrug. “I don’t know. But, God, I remember how angry you were. You hated me that day.”

  His gaze drops briefly before returning to mine. “Mia, do you me a favor. Don’t apologize for stuff that happened between us before. You could’ve broken everything in my room and it wouldn’t have justified the way I treated you back then. You don’t owe me an apology. Ever. Okay?”

  I smile meekly and nod. “Okay. Goodnight.”

  “Goodnight.”

  I walk inside and go straight to my bedroom, collapsing down on my bed. Tonight was amazing. It was the best non-date I’ve ever been on. I loved talking and hanging out with Ben, which seemed crazy considering how much I used to hate the mere presence of him. The boy I once wished never existed was now the man I wanted to spend every second with. I wasn’t holding on to that hate I once had for him anymore. I couldn’t. Not when the man he is now made me feel things I’ve only read about in books. I was done trying to forget that I gave him a part of me that no one else would ever touch. I wanted him to have it. I wanted him to have every piece of me. Benjamin Kelly was becoming everything I’ve ever wanted and I was finally willing to admit that to myself.

  At the very moment my eyes shut, Tessa swings my door open and walks over to my bed, lying down next to me. I wait for the interrogation to start, but it doesn’t come, which is shocking. Rolling over, I notice her worried expression.

  “I’m late,” she states, keeping her eyes on the ceiling.

  “For…” And then it hits me. Girls only use that wording for one thing when it’s paired with the look she’s carrying right now. “Oh my God. What are you going to do?”

  She finally looks at me but doesn’t respond. But she doesn’t have to. Her face is giving away everything she needs to say.

  She has no fucking clue.

  Chapter Eleven

  Ben

  I wanted to tell her she looked beautiful that night.

  I wanted to wrap my arm around her shoulder and hold her against my chest when she slid next to me in my truck.

  I wanted to kiss those soft full lips before she walked into the house.

  But I didn’t.

  I couldn’t do any of those things. Not when I was very clear about that night not being a date.

  I’m trying to earn Mia’s trust and drilling her into my bench seat isn’t the way to go about it. If I act on my impulses, it will fuck up the progress I’ve somehow managed to make. She’s talking to me now instead of brushing me off. She’s spending time with me instead of running away. Or jumping off cliffs. I can’t lose what I have going with Mia. And my dick can hate me all it wants, but I am adamant about keeping things friendly with her for now.

  Four days. That’s how long I made it without seeing her before I found myself driving to my parents’ house after work. And believe me when I say that those four days were the longest of my life. Thank Christ I had a job, otherwise I’m certain I would’ve gone completely mental without a distraction. Luke enjoyed my misery immensely, making sure to point out every time I brought Mia’s name up in conversation that had everything to do with work and nothing to do with her. And it was misery. Keeping my thoughts off her tight pussy and focusing on the friendship I was building with her. And if my own mind wasn’t hard enough to filter on its own, she started throwing text messages at me that were becoming more and more sexual. Apparently, Mia and I were now the type of friends that joked around about sex. She was so fucking comfortable with me now that nothing was off limits to her. And she didn’t care to ask me if I was okay with that before she shifted us into that category.

  Mia: Do you think it’s possible to get carpal tunnel from masturbating too much?

  This was the first one she threw at me. My brain was immediately flooded with images of her touching herself, and it took every ounce of strength in me not to get off before I replied. I should’ve answered it with something like this;

  Me: Mia, I don’t think that’s an appropriate friend conversation to have. And we’re friends, so let’s not go there.

  But no, I’m a complete shit with zero willpower. So instead, I answered with this;

  Me: If it’s possible, I’d already have it.

  Yup. Now she knew I was jerking off like a mad man. Which was the God’s honest truth. I was hoping that this was a mistake on her part and she’d realize her error and never tempt me with another text like this again. My dick was throbbing enough without the help from the images she was putting into my head. But apparently, she was just getting started.

  Mia: What do you think is my best feature? Tessa says my legs, but I’m thinking my boobs. Thoughts?

  Thoughts? Really? I was convinced that she was trying to kill me. She was an angel and a devil wrapped into one package that I couldn’t refuse. One that I desperately wanted to bend over my bed and fuck into tomorrow. I couldn’t ignore her. We were friends, and if this was the type of friends she wanted to be, then I could be that. I’d be hard constantly, but let’s face it, being around her was already making that an issue. So I decided to just go with it and answer honestly.

  Me: Tits, mouth, ass, legs. In that order.

  I thought I was golden. I thought I was going to be able to handle these sexual texts and not have my dick in my hand twenty-four hours a day. And I would’ve been, if she didn’t up the stakes.

  Mia: Do guys prefer a girl that swallows to a girl that spits? I mean, isn’t the general act of sucking off a guy enough to make them happy? Does it really matter what I do with your cum?

  Motherfucker. This text was reread numerous times, mainly when I was jerking myself off. Especially that last sentence. The implication of it being my cum in her mouth was too much for me. I was weak. Weak and hornier than I’ve ever been in my entire life. Weak enough to give her a response.

  Me: It’s really fucking hot when a girl swallows. But yes, the act itself is enough to make most guys not care one way or the other.

  Not a big deal. I was perfectly capable of handling anything she threw at me. Or so I thought.

  Mia: I was so unbelievably horny today. Guys are lucky. They can just tuck their erections away and go on about their day like they aren’t sporting wood. Girls can’t do that. I had to change my panties twice before lunch.

  That does it. I wave my white flag in surrender. I don’t give her a response to that, not by text message anyway. No, my response is in the form of me pulling up to my parents’ house like a complete dick. I need to see her, especially after that last text. I should be seeing her to tell her in person that she couldn’t keep sending me messages like that. But the second her body comes into view, lounging on a chair next to the pool, every thought is wiped from my brain. I suddenly can’t remember why I am here, but that doesn’t stop me from walking around the pool and directly toward her like a man possessed. Her eyes are closed so she doesn’t see me coming. And then she opens he
r mouth and begins singing along to the song that is playing through her ear buds. I recognize “Crash My Party” by Luke Bryan instantly. It’s an alright song, but hearing Mia sing it makes me really like it. I stand in front of her, even more enthralled by the sight of her than I usually am as she stays completely oblivious to my presence. My girl can sing. Her voice is as beautiful as she is and she’s belting the tune out and tapping her feet on her beach towel as I enjoy the show. She hums the final notes of the song before her eyes finally open, meeting the smile that’s been plastered on my face since she got in my sight.

  “Ben! Jesus Christ!” she yells, sitting up and placing her hand on her heaving chest. Her other hand pulls out her ear buds and discards them in her lap. “How long have you been standing there?”

  “Long enough,” I reply, thinking back to the night at the bar when I used the same words on her. Her cheeks react the same way they did that night, the slight flush that causes her gaze to wander from mine temporarily until she regains her composure. But she doesn’t have to hide her reaction to me. I like when I knock her off balance. And right now, I can’t stop looking at her. She’s all dark hair, slightly tanned skin, and big brown eyes that regard me with curiosity after she collects herself.

  “I, uh, didn’t know you were stopping by today. Are you here to see Tessa because she ran out for a bit.”

  For the first time since Mia’s arrival in Ruxton, I wish we weren’t alone. I wish my sister was sitting out here by the pool. I can’t be weak right now, and being alone with Mia in the insanely small bikini she is wearing is making me weak. No, fuck that. I can do this. I focus on her eyes. Only her eyes. “I think it’s a safe assumption to make that if I ever stop over here while you’re in town, I’m not here to see my sister.” Her lips part slightly as she absorbs my words. Does she really not know that I’m here to see her? I glance down at the neglected book in her lap. “What are you reading?”

  Her eyes follow mine and her fingers graze the cover. “Oh, um The Giving Tree. I haven’t read it since I was little but I can’t really get into it.” She peeks up at me slowly, taking her time to reach my face. “You didn’t respond to my text.”

  My breath hitches in my throat uncomfortably. I reach up and rub my neck, suddenly feeling like a shitty friend. But fuck! What the hell kind of response was she expecting out of me? The memory of that text and of her wet pussy has me contemplating nailing her to the beach chair she’s reclining on. Leave it to Mia to cut the shit and just straight up call me out on my neglectfulness. Because if we are friends, why wouldn’t I have responded to her? It won’t surprise me if her next move is to read the damn message to me out loud and prompt a reply from me that way. And I can’t have that happen. There’s no way in hell I’d be able to restrain myself if she actually voiced that message. But I gotta give that daunting stare of hers something. She’ll never let this go. I know her too well to try and change the subject. So a lie will have to do.

  I stuff my hands into my pockets and try to seem unfazed by this. But I’m definitely fucking fazed. “I was really busy this afternoon. Luke and I got called to this domestic violence dispute and it was really intense. I’m sorry. I actually forgot about your text until just now.”

  I didn’t. I could never forget about that text.

  “Oh, okay.” She begins chewing on the inside of her cheek, her eyes flicking away from mine to the pool. She seems hesitant all of a sudden. The confident girl that was just singing her heart out and ballsy enough to bring this topic up is nowhere in sight. Until I see it, something spreading over her, causing her back to straighten and her eyes to narrow in on mine with a thundering intensity that I’ve never seen before. “You’re going to respond to it, right?”

  Fuck. Me.

  “I will,” I promise without a single thought. Christ, this woman has the ability to unhinge me like no other. I need to get the subject off that text. I’m going to get hard if I don’t. And damn, if her persistence isn’t the hottest thing I’ve ever seen. She wants me to respond. She needs it. And I hate making her feel like I ignored her. But I need to focus on something else, so I do. “Do you know if Tessa’s busy this weekend? I need to work on Saturday night and I’m going to have Nolan. I was hoping she’d babysit him for me.”

  “I don’t know. She’s got a lot going on right now,” she states tensely, avoiding my eyes. A lot going on? Tessa? Her summer plans consisted of tanning and chasing after Luke. But Mia seems uneasy all of a sudden so I decide not to pry. Her eyes return to mine and she smiles. “I can watch him for you if you want.”

  “Yeah?” I ask, completely stunned by her offer. I shouldn’t be surprised at anything involving Mia though. The girl seems to astonish me with each passing day. “You don’t have to do that. I can ask the old lady that lives a few houses down from me. She’s watched him before when no one else could.”

  She smiles wider and cocks her head playfully. “Do you think Nolan would rather spend the evening with a princess that knows her way around a wooden sword, or an old smelly lady that probably has an absurd amount of cats?”

  “An absurd amount of cats?” I arch my brow at her, finding her thought process completely amusing.

  She gives me a raised eyebrow in return. “Oh, I’m sure she has them. All old women become crazy cat ladies. My grandmother did. She had eleven roaming through her house.” She scrunches up her nose at the memory. “It smelled really bad in her house. You don’t want Nolan to make this face, do you, Ben?” She points to herself, trying to keep the unpleasant look going but cracking into a smile after a few seconds.

  I chuckle. “No, I guess not. I’m sure he’d have more fun with you anyway.” She nods in agreement, smiling as if she really is looking forward to giving up her Saturday night to babysit. Could this woman get any more perfect? “I’ll owe you big time for this so start thinking of ways I can repay you.”

  She pulls her bottom lip into her mouth and grabs the sunscreen off the chair next to her. “Oh, I already have a few ideas.” She’s staring right at me and the heated look in her eyes is hitting me where I don’t need it to. “I think I’m burning. Would you mind?”

  Fuuccckkk.

  No. I don’t mind. Not in the slightest. I’m only a man. I’m not a God. I can’t say no to Mia when she’s staring up at me like she wants me to do more than just rub sunscreen on her. Because that’s exactly how she’s staring at me. Ask my cock. I grab the lotion and clear my throat as she spins around in her chair, offering me her back. This is a test. A test to see if I can handle touching Mia as a friend. Because friends apply sunscreen to each other and can do it without it being sexual. I begin applying the lotion onto the warm skin of her shoulders, feeling the goose bumps pop up against my touch. She drops her head and moans softly, causing my cock to twitch like a fucking traitor. But I ignore it, moving down to her back. She moans again, a bit louder this time, as I lift the string of her bikini, making sure to cover the area before I put it back in place. I’m only being thorough. I’d hate for Mia to burn and be in any amount of pain. Just being thorough.

  “That feels so good. I forgot what your hands felt like on my body.”

  Good God. I don’t want to react to that. This is like her text messages, only worse. I can’t hide behind the screen of my phone and jerk off with my free hand. And my cock is having difficulty not reacting. I pretend like I don’t hear her and run my hands down her lower back, smearing the lotion on. She does that damn whimpering sound and all the blood in my veins rushes straight to my dick. That’s it. I have to get out of here. I pick the bottle of sunscreen off the ground and drop it over her shoulder and into her lap.

  “I gotta go. I’ll drop Nolan off around three on Saturday.” I walk away from her with my hard on, thinking back to her last text message about being able to tuck it away, making it less obvious. I do just that with an agitated shake of my head.

  “Oh, okay. See ya!” she yells out, but I don’t turn to look at her. I can’t.

&
nbsp; Christ, the fucking sounds are filling my ears again and I need a release. I get in my truck, liking the distance my parking spot gives me from her and pull out my painful hard on. I stroke it fast, keeping my grip tight to not prolong my climax. I need to do this and get the hell out of here before I fuck everything up.

  “Aw, fuck.”

  I think of her mouth wrapped around me, those full lips teasing the head and pressing softly to my shaft. She’d take me in all the way, I knew she would. Her mouth could handle everything I gave her and I wouldn’t hold anything back. I’d grip her hair and thrust my hips into her eager mouth and she’d suck me until her cheeks hollowed and her eyes watered.

  “Oh God. Yeah.”

  She’d swallow because she’d know that I’d love it. She’d love it too because she’s my dirty girl. My filthy little angel that tells me her panties are soaked. And then she’d ride me, hard and fast, her perfect tits bouncing in my face. I’d suck on them until she screamed like she did the other night. I’d tell her that I’d be coming all over them soon, because I would. She’d get off on my words, my mouth, and my cock, and then she’d come perfectly around me. Her skin would blush across her chest, blooming up toward her neck as she threw her head back. The sight of her orgasm would push me over the edge. I’d come inside her, this time without a condom because I need to fucking feel her. I’d bury my face in her tits, my cock in her pussy, and I’d fucking give her everything.

  “Fuck.” My thighs tense and I can feel my release surging through me. I open my eyes and grab a few napkins out of my consul, holding them against the tip while I come by myself for the countless time this week. I wipe myself clean and then crumple up the napkins, shoving them into my cup holder. I feel better, but not by much. I can still see her tight little body in the distance and I want the real thing, not just the fantasy. But that isn’t going to happen. It can’t happen. Not yet.