Shanny pulled his coat from beneath her and handed it to him.
“I fear it is rather wrinkled now,” she smiled.
“It was well worth the wrinkles,” he returned, kissing her on the cheek. “Send me a note when you have thought of a way to meet again.”
“Yes, I will do that,” she promised, watching him rise to his feet and head for the garden gate.
Then it was clicking shut, and Shanny was left alone to try and untangle her thoughts and feelings, as she untangled her discarded closes scattered beside her. If her grandmother ever discovered what had happened between her and Arnel, she would insist he marry her. If that happened, though, he would merely need to explain his plans for marrying her anyway and all would be straightened out. Therefore, she did not feel that guilty for anticipating their next meeting.
Shanny pulled her dress over her head and hoped no one would be up to see when she returned to the house, because she knew her hair was all tousled and her corset was loosely tied, while her dress had also become wrinkled.
She brushed her hand over the material of her dress to smooth out the wrinkles, and as she did, she noticed an envelope on the floor of the gazebo at her feet. She picked it up, but it was too dark to see what was written on the front. It must have fallen from the pocket of Arnel’s coat, she decided. She would return it to him with the note she sent him. It would be a good excuse to use for a reason to send him a note, she thought happily. She would have to make up a reason how she managed to find the envelope though, she thought cunningly.
She placed the envelope in the pocket of her dress, went through the French doors, and headed upstairs. Just as she lay her hand on her doorknob, the door across the hall opened and Joey stood staring at her.
“It’s late,” he said. “What have you been up to?”
“Not that it is any of your business, but I was out in the garden, sitting in the gazebo.”
“For this long? Your hair is a mess and…”
“There is a rose bush growing up the side of the gazebo and I got my hair caught in it, if you must know. I ended up falling asleep, I sat there for so long. I am cold and stiff and wish to go to bed!”
“You are a silly woman, Shanny. Something is going on. You used to tell me all your secrets, and now you hardly talk to me.”
“We were children when we shared secrets,” Shanny pointed out. “There is no need to share secrets any longer.”
“But you have them, don’t you?” he accused.
“I’m sure you have your share too,” she returned.
“I miss our closeness,” Joey said, pleading with his eyes.
“I sort of miss it too, but growing up seems to be changing everything.”
“Only for you, I still feel the same about you as I always have.”
“I’m not going to marry you, Joey. I’m going to marry Arnel.”
“What?” Joey felt the wind knocked out of him at her words.
“It is not official yet but…”
“You were with him, weren’t you? That is why you have been out for so long! Did he ask for your hand before talking to Chayton about it?”
That was it, Shanny thought with relief. He would have to ask Chayton first before officially asking for her hand. The thought put her mind to rest. That was why he was so worried. He probably wouldn’t be able to talk to Chayton until he came back from New York, and that is why he made her promise not to get involved with any other men or take off to Texas before he returned.
“That is why it is not official yet,” Shanny stated. “We have an understanding that we love each other, but he still has to ask Chayton first.”
Joey looked hurt.
“I hope you will be happy,” he said and turned back to his own room.
Shanny pulled her door open and went inside. She felt drained. She also felt a little confused. Arnel had not said anything about planning on talking to Chayton about their future. He knew he would have to get permission before actually asking her for her hand. Nonetheless, he showed in every way that he loved her, and talked of having her with him in his future, so that must be his plan, she decided. Maybe he had become as overwhelmed with what had passed between them as she had been. Perhaps he was just as confused as she was. He must have had a lot on his mind because he was called to New York unexpectedly, she rationalized. He worried about not being able to be with her before he had to leave. There was not enough time to make an appointment with Chayton before he made the trip. That was why he was so anxious to see her tonight and the next few days until he must leave her, so she wouldn’t promise herself to anyone else before he had a chance to officially ask for her hand in marriage. Everything started to make more sense to her now.
Shanny started removing her dress, and then remembered the envelope in her pocket. She needed to take it out so when the maid took her dress to wash it, the envelope would not get ruined. She pulled it from her pocket and placed it on her dresser. The envelope was folded in half, so she had not seen what was written on the front. Maybe it wasn’t even important, she thought, but still, she would return it as an excuse to send a sudden note to Arnel, once she thought up a story as to how the envelope ended up in her hands and figured out a way for them to meet alone again.
She finished getting undress and put her nightgown on. It was then she decided to look at the envelope because her curiosity was getting the better of her, so she unfolded it, reading what was written on the front. It was addressed to Arnel Palmer and the return address was from New York, from Mrs. Anna Palmer. It must be from some relative who lived in New York since she knew his parents lived here in Philadelphia. Maybe an aunt or a cousin, she figured. Suddenly, she wanted to find out, why he had to return to New York so suddenly. Since the return address was from New York, she had a feeling the letter may reveal that to her, so even though she felt guilty reading his private mail, Shanny pulled the sheet of paper from within the envelope, and started to read.
Arnel, my dearest,
You must return to New York at once. The twins have fallen ill and I fear their life is in danger. It has been so long since we have seen you last. Your children miss you as much as I do. I will not take a contented breath until you are with us once again. Please hurry, my darling.
Your loving wife, Anna
Loving wife?
Shanny’s hands started to shake, causing the paper to rattle. She read it again, thinking she had read it wrong, or it was someone else’s wife, maybe his brother’s. No. He did not have a brother that she knew of. What else didn’t she know, she asked herself? Apparently, he had a wife and twins who were sick, and perhaps other children. Suddenly, Shanny’s whole body began to shake violently. What had she done? Not only did she allow Arnel to make love to her, but he was committing adultery while he did it! This could not be happening!
She felt herself collapsing on her bed as a loud groan of despair escaped her lips. Tears she had tried to hold back when she first started reading the letter, escaped her lids and spilled over her cheeks in torrents. Deep sobs racked her body as she clutched the letter in her hand, crushing it in her grasp.
The door flew open and Joey stood in the doorway. When he saw her curled in a ball on her bed sobbing, he closed the door quietly.
“Shanny, whatever is wrong?” he asked.
“Go away,” she bawled.
“Not until I discover what has happened! Has someone died?”
He noticed the letter in her hand and thought the worse. Maybe something had happened to the family back in Texas and she just discovered it. He gently pried the letter from her fingers and started to read it. Then he knew why she was crying. He felt shock and anger that Arnel led her to believe that he loved her and that he intended to ask her to marry him. He did not know the worse of it.
“Don’t cry, Shanny,” he begged. “He is not worth it.”
Joey sat on the side of the bed and pulled Shanny into his arms, stroking her hair and hugging her to him, placing her head on h
is shoulder.
“I’m here, Shanny. I will always be here for you. You will get over this in time.”
Shanny didn’t answer. She couldn’t answer. If Joey ever learned what she and Arnel had shared, he would be repulsed. He would never want her for his wife then. He would hate her. He may even try to kill Arnel. She would have to take the secret with her to her grave. She knew Arnel would never tell anyone. It would ruin him. How did he think he could have an affair with her without her discovering he was married, she wondered? It dawned on her, that even though he had come and met her grandmother and mother and father, he had never invited her to meet his family. He had intended to take advantage of her until he had ruined her for anyone else, so she would have to remain his mistress, and never reveal it to anyone. How could she have been so stupid?
Joey wanted to protect her, but he couldn’t protect her from herself, and now he was going to hate her if he ever found out. There was no future for her. She didn’t want a coming-out party. She wanted to return to Texas, where she belonged, working on the ranch and putting all of this behind her. She would never marry or fall in love with anyone ever again, she promised herself.
Joey hugged her to him, trying to comfort her, but he knew there was nothing he could do to resolve her anguish. Even in this close embrace, he felt her pulling farther from him. She didn’t want to talk about it. He wondered if she ever would talk to him about it? He doubted she would. The gulf between them was growing wider, and he didn’t know how to get it to come together again. He felt tears on his own face, as the two finally sank down on the bed together, trying to find comfort where comfort could not be found.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Beth rode beside Taima, both of them searching the landscape for stray mother cows with their calves. They didn’t talk because Beth couldn’t think of anything to say, and Taima seemed preoccupied with looking for cattle.
The long manes of their horses were caught by the wind and flowed in every direction. Beth smiled to herself as she thought about Taima’s straight, dark hair appearing like a horse’s mane, flowing in all directions. Her own hair had been sensibly put in long braids, hanging down either side of her neck. Taima glanced at her braids and seemed to approve of her neat appearance. She knew that Indians took great pride in their hair, and keeping it neat and caring for it was important to them.
“I don’t see any strays. Do you?” Beth asked.
Taima shook his head no but continued to scan the countryside with his eyes.
“Wait!” Beth said, stopping her horse. “My horse has started limping. I want to check his feet.”
She slid down off of Skeeter’s back and started lifting one foot at a time, checking for rocks or anything else that may be causing him to limp.
“Dad-gum-it!” she scowled. “He threw a shoe! I can’t ride him like this and we haven’t even covered half the acreage yet!”
“Ride with me. My horse is big and strong. Your horse will follow.”
“It will slow us down,” Beth complained.
“You want to go back?”
“That would just waste time. I suppose I have no other choice.”
“You want to ride in front of me, or behind me?” he asked.
“Behind,” I guess, Beth mumbled.
She didn’t like the way things were turning out.
Taima removed his foot from the stirrup and reached down for her hand as she put her own foot in the stirrup, and swung up behind him. Once Beth was seated, she grabbed onto the back of his saddle, and his horse continued moving in the same direction they had been going.
“The wind is picking up,” Taima stated. “Should we keep looking?
“Until we reach the end of the property,” Beth insisted. “If we don’t find any strays, we should head back down the center of the property and meet Connor and the others halfway, on the chance there are strays beyond the herd near the edge of the property.”
Taima urged his horse forward, but the wind was starting to blow up dust, and they were riding into the wind, so it was hard to see. They both put their bandanas over their mouths and nose, to keep the dust out as they continued to ride. Skeeter seemed happy to follow behind, so Beth didn’t worry about him. In the distance, there was a flash of lightning and then a thunderclap.
“Your name means Thunder, doesn’t it?” Beth remembered.
Taima nodded.
“You must like the sound of it, then.”
“I have always liked thunderstorms. That is why I received my name. I feel connected to storms somehow.”
“Yeah, I have always liked storms too,” Beth stated. “My father never allowed us, girls, to be afraid of anything. He wanted to turn us into little men, to work his ranch, so he would always make us go out in the storms. At first, I was frightened. I was pretty young at the time. But then I got used to it. I had to drive a chuck wagon on a cattle drive in a storm once when I was little. It was so scary, cause the mules started to run away with the wagon, but my new mama saved me from going over the edge of a drop-off. After that, I just had to learn to be brave.”
“Then I shall call you Khee Khoat Mahtaon. It means Brave Girl.”
Beth laughed.
“Sounds like a mouth full,” she stated.
“We had better pick up speed. Sape hote ahn. That means ‘the rain is coming’!”
Beth felt a couple of drops falling on her head, and then the shower started picking up.
“There’s an old sheep herders hut not far from here. We should head in that direction to take shelter until the rain passes. Just follow that path to your right. I think it is just over the next rise.”
As the rain started falling harder and faster, Taima kicked his horse into a gallop and Skeeter followed close behind. By the time they reached the hut, they were both soaked and dripping water from the brims of their hats. The two jumped down together, leading their horses under a lone tree near the hut and ducking inside through a door that was falling off its hinges.
It was dim inside. Only one small window let in any light, and the dark clouds were casting shadows over what little sun there was.
“There’s not much in her except for a table and an old cot with a straw mattress. I used to play here when I was little and wanted to get out of work,” Beth explained. “Connor always had to come out and drag me home.”
“Don’t think he is going to drag us home today,” Taima smiled, as he took his hat off and threw it onto the dusty table.
Beth copied his lead and removed her hat too.
“Does the fireplace work?” Taima asked, nodding towards the rock fireplace that was black from past fires built there by some long-ago sheepherder.
“I’ve never tried it. What is there to burn?”
“Under the tree are some dead branches. They shouldn’t be too wet yet with the hut and tree sheltering them. I’ll go out and bring them in.”
“Do you have any matches?”
Taima merely smiled, before he ducked back out the door. A few minutes later he came in with a load of branches, and the two of them broke them down to size.
“I guess we could use some of the straw from the mattress to use for kindling to get it started,” Beth reasoned.
She started pulling straw from one end of the mattress and put it in the fireplace.
“I’ll break some twigs off of the branches to use once you get the straw to catch,” she said and busied herself with the chore.
Taima was kneeling before the fireplace. He had taken his knife from its sheath tied to his belt and was striking flint against it. Beth stopped what she was doing and watched in wonder.
“Can you show me how to do that, later?” she asked. “That is really amazing,” she exclaimed as she watched a spark flick out and start the straw on fire.
Then she was handing Taima twigs, and soon small branches. The fire started to lick through the fuel they offered it, and soon a nice blaze was flickering, rising and falling as it lapped up the wood. There was
only a minimal amount of smoke that found its way into the hut, and once the chimney warmed up, it stopped altogether.
Beth watched as Taima shrugged out of his shirt and hung it on a nail that protruded from the hewn-wood mantle. He glanced at Beth.
“You should stand close to the fire to get dry,” he suggested.
Beth moved closer to the blaze as she started to soak up its warmth. She couldn’t help but admire Taima’s muscular body shimmering in the light of the fire. He was pulling his boots off, and placing them in front of the fire as well.
“Sit down on the cot, and I’ll help you with your boots,” he offered.
“I’ll get it all wet,” she complained. “We might want to sit there, once we are dry.”
Taima smiled and, a moment later, he had lifted Beth up, placing her on the table and then worked to remove her boots. She admired his strength and the way he had lifted her so effortlessly. Now his strong hands were tugging at one boot. He finally removed it and started to work on the other one. Just as he managed to pull it free, the table started to wobble, and Beth went sprawling into Taima, causing him to fall backward. Instinctively, she grabbed around his neck to keep from falling onto the floor, and he held onto her waist to steady her. For a moment, they merely sat there, staring into each other’s eyes, as Beth laughed softly. But the laugh silenced when she saw the serious way Taima was looking at her.
“I didn’t hurt you, did I?” Beth said with a nervous catch in her throat.
“You weigh nothing,” he smiled. “Of course you didn’t hurt me.”
She started to pull free, but Taima kept his grasp on her waist.
“Stay,” he said softly. “We can dry in front of the fire together.”
She sat stiffly at first, but then started to relax, and leaned her head against Taima’s shoulder. Beth woke suddenly when she felt herself tumbling onto the floor. Taima had also fallen asleep and had ended up relaxing on the floor, pulling Beth with him.
Beth pulled herself out of Taima’s arms brushing her dusty clothes off.
“We are pretty dry,” Beth said quietly. “Why don’t we lay on the cot. It would be better than this hard, dusty floor.”
Within the Heart Page 14