“She doesn’t want to talk to me about it. Arnel has sent three messages wanting to speak to her, but she won’t even open them or send a return note. I fear they must have had a grave disagreement because it seems Arnel wishes to straighten things out, while Shanny won’t even acknowledge him.”
“And I thought everything was going so well between them,” Callie’s mother stated. “He would make an excellent catch for Shanny even though he is several years her elder.”
“I have no objections to a well-established gentleman asking for Shanny’s hand, but it must also be her desire as well. Apparently, the attraction has become one-sided now,” Callie shrugged.
As they spoke, Joey entered the drawing room, a glum expression on his face.
“Is Shanny any better?” Callie asked anxiously, in spite of his expression.
“She says she wants to return to Texas, and I don’t blame her. I miss the ranch and wish to return myself.”
“What about her coming-out party?” Callie’s mother wailed. “I thought she was looking forward to it. Anyway, she seemed to be, a mere three days ago. I have spent a fortune on the preparations! What has happened to make her change her mind?”
“I do not believe it is my place to say,” Joey mumbled.
Their conversation was interrupted by the doorbell and a moment later the butler entered the room.
“A Mister Arnel Palmer is at the door wishing to see Miss Shanny,” he informed them.
“She is not feeling well,” Callie replied.
“I will go talk to him,” Joey offered. “I have a message from Shanny to give to him.”
“You do?” Callie exclaimed. “She has turned down every note he has sent to her.”
“What I need to give him cannot be sent in a note,” Joey said, his eyes dark with a hidden fury.
“Well, if she asked you to…”
“She has not asked me. I am taking it upon myself to protect her honor,” Joey interrupted.
“Her honor, what are you talking about Joey?”
“Only that Arnel needs to be put in his place. It will all come out eventually, I am sure.”
“What will all come out?” Callie asked, standing up as Joey headed for the front hall.
“What is going on?” Chayton asked, being jarred from his reading by Callie’s high pitched voice.
He stood as well when he saw the expression oh both Joey’s and Callie’s face.
Joey was already striding towards the front hall and Callie was close on his heel, with Chayton following after.
Even though Joey was almost a mere seventeen years, he was a strapping young man and tall for his age. As soon as he entered the hall, Arnel looked worried.
“Shanny would not respond to my notes and I am due to leave for New York soon. I needed to talk to her before I leave,” he explained as Joey stopped in front of him, looking him up and down.
“Is that so?” Joey sneered. “Perhaps you wish to tell her exactly why you have to go to New York?”
“I have urgent business there,” Arnel stated.
“Of course, you do!” Joey said, narrowing his eyes. “Maybe you should relate your urgent business to my parents first.”
Arnel looked a little shaken by the suggestion.
“It just has to do with developments in New York,” he mumbled, his voice shaking slightly.
“Yes, I’m sure it does. Could it have anything to do with your children and your wife?” Joey stated boldly.
“What?” Callie exclaimed.
Before she got an answer, Joey stepped forward and suddenly slugged Arnel in the face.
“Joey!” Chayton growled. “Be civil!”
“Be civil? You ask me to be civil when this conniving blackard led Shanny to believe he was about to ask for her hand when he already had a wife and children? You should be whipping him soundly for misrepresenting himself so!”
“I can explain,” Arnel sputtered, wiping blood from his nose.
Joey laughed bitterly. “You took advantage of Shanny’s innocence! There’s no explaining your way out of that one. You are lucky though since she hasn’t spoken to me about what happened between the two of you in the garden. Whatever happened between you, convinced her you wished to offer for her hand. Only then she found the letter you must have dropped. I read the letter she found. I know the truth about you, and it explains why she does not want to lay eyes on you again!”
“Nothing happened in the garden,” Arnel lied. “I merely let her know I would be away for a few weeks. I never asked for her hand in marriage!”
“Then why did she believe you were about to? Had she known you were married, she never would have assumed that!”
“We were friends. I told her I loved her, which I do. I love being around her and I wanted to remain her friend. I...I suppose I was not clear about the kind of love I had for her. She must have taken it wrong, is all. I intended to tell her about my wife, but I was afraid she would not remain, my close friend if she believed I was married.”
“In other words, you deceived her on purpose, so you could have the attention of a beautiful young lady, thinking your attentions meant something more than just mere friendship. If it was mere friendship, Shanny would not be so upset about discovering the letter. There is more to it that neither of you are telling me!” Joey growled.
“It is not up to you to pry anything from her that she doesn’t wish to share. If she wanted you to know what was upsetting her, she would tell you. That is why I wished to see her, so I could straighten it all out.”
“I will relay your message to her,” Joey muttered. “In the meantime, I suggest you leave here. When you return to Philadelphia again, we most likely will be back in Texas, isn’t that so, Father?” Joey said, eying Chayton.
“It is up to Callie and her mother when our visit is finished,” he said quietly, not wanting to make matters worse.
“Then maybe Shanny will convince them that she no longer wishes to remain here. Anyway, that is what she told me earlier this morning.”
“Let me talk to her,” Arnel begged.
“If she won’t return your notes, she will not allow you to talk to her,” Joey reasoned. “I suggest you leave well enough alone and go back to your wife. Perhaps when you return, you should bring your family with you so you won’t feel the need for female companionship while you are parted!”
Joey turned to the stairs, and abruptly stopped when he saw Shanny standing at the top of the stairs.
“I heard voices,” she said quietly. “What are you doing here, Arnel. I thought your twins were ill. They need their father’s attention, wouldn’t you agree?”
“I wanted to say goodbye to you before I left,” Arnel said lamely.
“Then goodbye, Arnel I hope you find your family well and happier than I am feeling at the moment. You can rest assured I shall never forget you, regardless of how much I wish to erase every moment I spent with you from my memory. You will always remain to haunt my future happiness, so I hope you are satisfied. Should I write to your wife and wish her well? I still have the envelope with her address on it.”
“I don’t think that is necessary,” Arnel murmured.
“I thought not. You wouldn’t want her to learn the extent of our friendship, I suppose. I feel sorry for her, not knowing what you are doing while you are away and missing you so much. I would hate to be put in her position.”
Shanny turned to go back to her room. “Have a safe trip, and please do not disappoint your wife in the future, the way you have disappointed me,” she said in parting.
Joey started up the stairs, taking them two at a time. He knew there was something more beyond the simple deception about Arnel having a wife. He had to make Shanny tell him, but he wasn’t sure how he was going to go about making her do it?
By the time he reached the landing, Shanny had returned to her room. He tried the knob but it was locked. He could hear her crying on the other side of the door.
“Let me
in, Shanny,” he begged.
The sobs continued and Shanny did not open the door. Finally, he had no choice but to leave her in her misery. He should have done more than just slug Arnel, he told himself angrily. The only good that came of it was he did not have to worry about Shanny running off and marrying the man. He wondered if he would ever convince her that he loved her more than his own life, and still wished her to become his wife.
However, he had to admit something very subtle had now changed Shanny’s relationship with him. While she allowed him to be with her and comfort her, she seemed withdrawn. She did not treat him with the same kind of openness she used to treat him with. She didn’t even try to tease him and criticize his Indian ways. When they spoke, she merely talked about the ranch and how much she missed it; how she realized now that she would never fit into high society. He had been right, she told him, no one could change the cowboy in her and she might as well accept her lot in life.
He didn’t want to change the cowboy in her. It was the cowboy in her that he liked so well. It was her spark and her spirit, but somehow, Arnel had extinguished that spark, and only a shadow of the old Shanny shown through. He hoped that in time he could change that. He knew he would have to wait until she was willing to listen to him. He wondered how long it would take.
Eleanor came by to see Shanny, but Shanny didn’t want company. Joey visited briefly with Eleanor, telling her they planned to return to Texas soon. He told her that Shanny needed the Texas air since the air here did not agree with her.
“That is so sad. I was hoping to have the two of you as friends,” Eleanor mumbled.
“It all came on unexpectedly, right after we took that ride in the park together,” Joey said honestly. “That evening Shanny took a turn and was laid up for three days. She has been listless ever since. Perhaps she will write you, and sometime you can come out to visit.”
“I would like that,” Eleanor said hopefully.
Only Joey knew Shanny would never write Eleanor. He felt she wanted to forget everything that had anything to do with Philadelphia.
However, Shanny felt guilty after all the work and expense her grandmother had gone to, preparing for her coming-out party, she relented and agreed to remain in Philadelphia for a few more weeks until after the coming-out party. Her grandmother went to all lengths to make it a grand affair. Every young man there seemed to be enamored by Shanny, and she thought about how Arnel had made her promise not to let any young man sweep her off her feet. She would never let anyone sweep her off her feet again, she promised herself.
She only danced once with each man that asked her but danced several times with Joey. She liked the feel of his arms around her as they moved in unison together, the way they had all their lives. At least she knew he truly loved her, only now it was too late to ever accept the love he kept offering her. She was afraid she would encourage him too much, though, if she allowed him to learn how much she now relied on his strength. She tried to remain indifferent to him, and it was breaking her heart.
A week after the coming-out party, in spite of Shanny’s grandmother’s complaints, exclaiming that Shanny had received so many letters and calling cards from the young men who attended her party, and she must remain to discover future prospects for a suitable husband, the family packed their luggage and was ready to board the train heading back to Kansas. They had sent a wire to Connor, to let him know when they planned to arrive, said their goodbyes, and was taken to the train station.
Shanny barely spoke. She merely thanked her grandmother for all the things she had done for her and begged her forgiveness for leaving so soon. She deliberately put on her denims and cowboy boots against her mother’s disapproval, refusing to wear a frilly dress. Her mother had packed all the nice dresses that her grandmother had bought Shanny, but Shanny vowed never to wear them again. Especially the dress she had worn in the garden that night.
Joey had begged her to tell him what had Arnel had actually told her when they were in the garden that night, but she refused. It wasn’t so much what he had told her, but what he had done after insisting he loved her. She had promised herself she would take it to her grave, if necessary. No man would ever want to marry her once he discovered she was not a virgin. Even Joey would regret ever wanting her for his wife, she had to admit. She did not want to see the shock or even pity in Joey’s eyes if she ever told him. If she actually agreed to marry him, without telling him, he would end up finding out and would hate her for willingly allowing Arnel to ruin her for any other man. She was used goods, she told herself. Not fit to become any man’s wife. Joey deserved better than that!
It was at that point that Shanny realized Joey had been right. They were soul mates. They were meant to be together, only she had ruined all that and destroyed any future happiness she could ever hope to have with Joey. She gazed at him, trying to remain indifferent, as her heart filled with pain at the realization that she had the only man who could love her the way she wished to be loved, right under her nose, but now she couldn’t even have that!
She turned her head and looked blankly out the window. Joey would find someone worthy of him. Maybe Eleanor would write him and he would give up on Shanny and turn to Eleanor for affection. Even that thought pained Shanny. No matter how she looked at it, her future was doomed, and she could never tell Joey how much she really loved him and why she could never become his wife. She wished she had never met Arnel. He had been the turning point in her life. He had caused her to change from a carefree girl into a woman with an unbearable weight placed upon her shoulders. What kind of future was there to look forward to now, she wondered? She remembered how excited she had been to experience a new, thrilling life in a big city. She had been too naïve. She had trusted too much. She had trusted the wrong man. She should have trusted Joey. She thought of all the times he insisted she would become his wife and she had laughed at his persistence. Now she wished she could turn back time.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Ina opened her eyes. Her head was pounding and she could barely hold her eyes open. She was surprised to discover she was in bed, but it wasn’t her room. It was a strange room and she was trying to place it. It looked familiar, only the last thing she remembered was being soaked and rain plummeting down on her. Now she felt dry and warm. Too warm, she thought and struggled to push the covers off of her body.
“Don’t do that,” she heard a soft voice advising. “You aren’t wearing any clothes.”
Ina struggled to focus on the face behind the words. His hand was placed on her own hand, keeping her from pushing the covers away.
“How are you feeling?” he asked as he leaned closer to her.
Then his hand went to her forehead.
“You are still too hot. Is that why you want to remove the covers? I’ll cool you down,” he offered.
Then his hand was reaching into a bowl of cool water sitting on the bed-stand, removing a washcloth and wringing it out. A moment later his hand disappeared beneath the covers and Ina could feel the cool cloth washing over her body, bringing a certain amount of comfort, even though her head would not stop pounding. He continued to move the cloth over her body as Ina tried to focus her eyes while she stared at his somehow familiar face.
“Who are you?” she whispered with difficulty.
“You know who I am,” Hudson said, feeling puzzled. “I’m Hudson. I work on your ranch. You got sick when you were out in the storm rounding up the cattle.”
“This isn’t my room. Where am I?”
“At the Circle P Ranch, don’t you remember it? My uncle willed it to your mother.”
Ina closed her eyes. It was too hard to think. It was too hard to remember. All she knew was that the feel of Hudson’s hand stroking her fiery body with the cool cloth was comforting, and she didn’t want him to stop. When he started to pull his hand free, she found herself grasping it.
“No,” she barely uttered. “Don’t stop.”
“I need to rinse the cloth again,�
� Hudson told her. “I will continue to cool you, but I don’t want you to get too chilled.”
“You are kind,” she murmured, and then seemed to fall asleep.
Hudson soaked the cloth in the basin of water and began reapplying it over Ina’s body. He knew he should be indifferent to his task but he couldn’t help himself. He enjoyed stroking her skin with the cloth, not only because he knew it made her feel better, but because it made him feel better too. He realized he enjoyed being in Ina’s company, even before she became ill. There was a strength to her that he admired. Yet now, she lay helpless, counting on him to bring her comfort, and that appealed to him. He knew he was a lousy ranch hand, but this one thing, he was capable of. It was like caring for the horses when they got hurt or sick. He liked healing and bringing comfort to the horses, and now to this extraordinary woman.
His eyes fell upon her face with the halo of hair spread upon the pillow about her head. She looked serene and at peace, even though he knew her body was racked with pain. She had seemed a little unsure of herself when she first approached the ranch, and he had bristled at her abrupt announcement that he was to become a hired hand and move out to the bunkhouse. However, even that gave him an inner drive to prove himself to this woman. Now he wanted it even more. Not because she had ended up with his uncle’s ranch but because he wanted to impress her. He wanted to gain her admiration, the same way she was gaining his. He wanted to become her equal so there was a glimmer of a chance that she would not look at him as a mere worker on the ranch, but someone worthy of her attention.
The door opened, and Hudson turned to see Adoette standing in the doorway.
“How is she?” he asked. “Any better?”
“She slept most of the night, but a few moments ago she opened her eyes. She didn’t seem to recognize me or remember this room. Anyway, she said it wasn’t her room.”
“You look like you could use some rest. Chogan is bringing up some warm broth to feed her if she wakes up again. I will take over for you.”
Hudson drew in his breath. He was tired, but for some reason, he didn’t want to leave her side. He wanted to witness her progress, only his body was not going to cooperate, so he stood, feeling stiff.
Within the Heart Page 17