“What?” Chogan asked in surprise.”
“My daddy made me into a little man, just like he did with both of my sisters because he wanted boys. He forced us to be brave and do things that frightened us so we wouldn’t be crying all the time, but at night…he knew we were really girls. When mama was busy giving him more girls to abuse, he was…he was…”
Ina put her hands over her eyes. Some part of her remembered how Hudson’s touch made her feel. She hadn’t wanted to feel it. It reminded her of what her daddy used to do. Yet another part of her craved it because Hudson was doing it out of love, not lust. She had pushed all those memories to the back of her mind when her new mama came along. She thought things would change for her then, but it hadn’t. She realized she too, was glad when the Comanche shot her daddy in the back. He didn’t deserve to live, she justified. She wondered if he had done anything to her younger sisters.
“When my mother comes, send her to my room,” Ina said quietly, and then closed the door, and threw herself on her bed.
Ina was woken by a tap on her door. She had fallen asleep again, but could not remember if she had any dreams. She felt tired and out of sorts. She couldn’t even trust her own judgment any longer. Chogan said Hudson loved her. She barely knew him. What had happened between them when she had lost her memory? She was trying to remember. Only flashes seemed to surface, but it didn’t hurt her head to try and remember, she realized. She felt like they had been pleasant memories. Maybe memories she didn’t think she deserved to have.
“Chogan said you got your memory back,” Callie said, as she entered the room and sat on the bed beside Ina. “Just this morning you couldn’t remember a thing. You were begging Hudson to marry you to protect you from Cooper’s attention. Now Chogan tells me you sent Hudson away.”
“I want you to kick Cooper off of this ranch,” Ina said. “He cheated Mr. Pritchard and he was trying to steal from us too.”
“Chogan told us about it, and now that you are better, we can do just that. Only what about Hudson? Do you really want him to leave?”
“I…I don’t know. I wasn’t in my right mind when I begged him to marry me.”
“We know that. That is why we decided to have you wait until your sisters were ready to have their wedding. Hudson was the one who suggested we wait. You didn’t want to wait.”
“My sisters are getting married?” Ina asked, raising her brows.
“Yes. Both Tommy and Beth are marrying Comanche braves. If your memory hadn’t returned by then, I was going to allow Hudson to marry you, because you needed someone like him to look after you.”
“You like him?” Ina asked.
“Yes, and his sister is rather nice too. I think Connor is trying to build up enough courage to ask her to marry him.”
“Everyone is getting married? What about Shanny? I thought she had a young man courting her in Philadelphia?”
“That didn’t work out. I know you don’t know Hudson very well, but at least don’t make him leave. Get to know him before you accuse him of anything.”
“He probably won’t stay now. I was yelling at him and accusing him of things, and … I need to tell you some things about my daddy.”
“What?” Callie asked.
As Ina began to inform Callie of what her father had done to her when she was young, it brought back all the old memories about Chet that Callie hated to think about. It was bad enough that he had used her and her sister in despicable ways, but to carry those things out on his own daughter was appalling. It made her doubly glad that Chet was dead.
“I hope you can put it all behind you, Ina. When I was married to your father I didn’t think I could endure being his wife. Once he was out of my life, it was difficult for me to trust men. Cooper made it worse, but Chayton showed me how a real lover treats his woman. You have to give Hudson the chance to show how much he loves you. He told me how much he loved you when he told me about you begging him to marry you, but he was afraid it wasn’t really you who wanted to marry him. It was someone who took your place. I think you would not regret allowing him to prove himself to you.”
“Chogan said he rode off in a temper,” Ina murmured.
“Ask Chogan what direction he headed, and go out and find him,” Callie suggested.
Ina put her arms around her mother’s neck.
“You are the best mother ever!” she whispered. “I’m so glad you came to raise us all.”
“I would do it a million times over,” Callie smiled, and then Ina jumped up and left the room.
Ina swung up on her horse and headed out in the direction Chogan had pointed. Chayton had taught all the children how to track, and so she started following Hudson’s tracks. It wasn’t hard to distinguish them since his horse had thrown up a lot of sod in the mad gallop it had been spurred into. Eventually, it led her up over the rise and down toward a stream that ran through their property. There she saw Hudson, sitting, staring out over the water, as his horse grazed in the soft green grass along the bank.
“I’m not angry at you anymore,” Ina said, quietly as she approached him.
He did not turn, and she climbed down from her horse and went to sit beside him.
“I’m going back to New York, so you don’t have to worry about me doing things you don’t approve of,” he mumbled, not looking at her.
“I’m sorry, Hudson. I didn’t mean those things I said to you. I didn’t know. I talked to Chogan and my mother. They told me what a big help you have been and how I was the one who begged you to marry me.”
Hudson turned and looked at her. He stared at her for a long moment before he spoke.
“It was just a dream, Ina. That is all it was. I knew you would get your memory back eventually, and then you wouldn’t want anything to do with me, and I was right. I know you didn’t mean the awful things you accused me of, but I realize I can’t work on the ranch, seeing you there, wondering what it would have been like if you really had wanted to marry me.”
“Something must have made me ask you,” Ina said quietly. “There must have been something that my other-self saw in you to even suggest it, let alone beg you to marry me.”
“Do you know what it was?” Hudson asked.
“I remember how gently you touched me,” she offered.
“Anyone can touch you like that,” Hudson shrugged. “That wouldn’t be a reason to want to marry me.”
“I felt safe when you were near me. If I didn’t like you a little, I wouldn’t have wanted you near me. I know I feared Cooper. He tried to convince me I had agreed to marry him, and I instinctively knew it wasn’t so.”
“Do you remember anything about the time I spent with you?” Hudson asked.
“Only that you made me feel calm and…loved. Yes, I think you made me feel loved,” she said, catching his eyes with hers. “I don’t think I have ever felt loved in the way you made me feel loved,” she admitted.
“Must be because I do love you,” Hudson said, looking away and tossing a pebble into the stream.
“Do you? How do you know?”
Ina tossed a pebble in the stream as well, watching the ripples spread, while she waited for his reply.
“I think I knew when I saw you at my Uncle’s funeral. You stood out above your sisters. There was something strong and appealing about you. I envied you because you were getting my uncle’s ranch, but something told me you all deserved it more than Carrabelle and I did. We could have taken our money and made things work, but I didn’t want to leave the ranch. I didn’t want to follow in my father’s footsteps. I wanted to stay so I could get to know you better. I didn’t realize you would be coming to run the ranch, though. I wanted to impress you! I wanted to show you that I was worthy of you. Only deep down inside, I didn’t know if I was worthy of you? When you got sick, it gave me a chance to prove myself, only I figured once you snapped out of it, no telling what would happen?”
“My mother thinks I should give you a chance,” Ina mumbled.
“It doesn’t matter what your mother thinks, Ina. It is what you think that I am interested in.”
“Call me Mia,” Ina whispered. “Hold me, and call me Mia. I think I like her better than myself. Chogan said I was a more pleasant person when my memory was lost.”
“Miakoda,” Hudson murmured.
He reached and put his arms around her.
“You feel good in my arms.”
“I’m not upset about the way you touched me, Hudson. I think I am starting to remember how wonderful it felt to have you touching me. It has just been hard for me to trust men.”
“I know. You were having a nightmare about your daddy when I woke you up. I’m sorry, Ina. I’m sorry for that little girl who had to put up with that kind of abuse. I would never abuse you. You know that don’t you?”
“Chogan said I needed a man in my life and he thought you were the one.”
“Do you think I am the one?” Hudson asked.
“I don’t know, but I am willing to trust Chogan’s judgment.”
“I know you are the one, and I don’t need Chogan pointing it out,” he responded.
“Then I will have to trust your judgment too,” Ina smiled.
“Just trust me period,” Hudson begged.
“By the time my sisters get married, I hope to know for sure if I trust you or not.”
“Will you still be willing to marry me then?” he questioned, holding her from him and looking into her eyes.
“Kiss me, and I will let you know,” she mumbled.
“Gladly,” he said, as his mouth captured hers.
Ina melted under Hudson’s kiss. It seemed to bring back memories of another kiss he had given her, and then she was remembering how he had touched her before she had fallen asleep and had that horrible dream.
“I want to give you a second chance, Hudson,” she whispered. “I remember how you made me feel when you touched me. You wouldn’t let me touch you, though. I don’t think you trusted me.”
“It wasn’t you I didn’t trust. I was afraid if I let you touch me, I wouldn’t be able to bear it when you got your memory back and never wanted to touch me again. I didn’t want you to believe I was taking advantage of your state of mind.”
“I am in a perfect state of mind right now,” Ina smiled.
“Are you?” he questioned.
“Let me show you,” she whispered, pushing him back against the grass, as she started to unfasten the buttons on his shirt.
“You sure you want to do this? You may end up having to marry me whether you wish to or not.”
“Oh, I know what I am wishing right now, Hudson. My father ruined me when I was little, but I think you can heal me again.”
“That is all I ever wanted to do from the moment you got sick. I didn’t realize how deep the scar went, though.”
“If you hadn’t come along, I doubt I would ever trust a man to love me,” Ina admitted. “I suppose it was a good thing I lost my memory, so you could actually have a chance to get close to me.”
“I want to get closer still,” Hudson admitted.
“I may let you,” Ina offered, “only I want to touch you first.”
Hudson allowed Ina to have her way, letting her discover the feel of him beneath her fingers, and then her lips, as they let the soft grass cushion them and the lapping stream sing to them. Their clothes were scattered about them and the sun streamed down upon them, casting leafy shadows over their skin as it peeked through the leaves of the tree. Hudson whispered kisses over Ina’s body, and she would return the favor. In a sudden rush of emotion, Hudson grabbed Ina around the waist, rolling with her until they had tumbled into the stream. She shrieked in delight, and he laughed with amusement, settling over her as she lay in the stream beneath him.
“I love you, Ina. Believe me when I tell you that,” Hudson moaned against her skin, as he sucked the droplets of water from her neck.
“I believe you,” Ina murmured. “I want you to love me, and never stop loving me.”
“I don’t think I ever could stop loving you,” Hudson admitted.
He fit so comfortably against her, as the water lapped around them. Ina moved to allow him closer access, as she felt him pressing against her.
“If we do this, you will have to marry me,” Hudson told her.
“I think I already made up my mind to marry you, long before I got my memory back. I think I am going to trust my other self,” Ina stated.
Hudson clutched her to him, finding a way to try to reach her soul. She was offering herself up to him, encouraging his every move, as her soul leaped forward to touch his in return. Hudson gasped as he felt the way Ina rose to him, pulling him even closer, her hands grasping his back, holding him to her, and then allowing him to continue expressing his love. They turned in the water, and Ina rose and fell against him, her wet hair dripping over him, her shimmering skin luring him to raise his head and capture one tempting breast, in his mouth. Then they were turning again, creating waves beyond the ripple of the stream as it surrounded her, while she surrounded him.
A hawk overhead, screeched out, blending the sound of its cry with Ina’s cry. A moment later Hudson joined in, a chorus combined with pleasure and fulfillment, expressed vocally until their hearts calmed its beat, and they could catch their breath again.
“You are mine now,” Hudson mumbled, as he rested his head against her soft, cool breasts. “We should tell your mother to make that a triple wedding, don’t you think?”
“I can’t think at all,” Ina murmured. “I want to remain here like this forever.”
“How long is forever?” Hudson asked.
“No one seems to know,” Ina responded.
“If we remain in the stream, we will start getting a chill,” Hudson said practically. “I wouldn’t want you losing your memory again. Not now!”
Ina gave a chuckle.
“Let’s dry off in the sun,” she suggested.
Hudson lifted her from the water and placed her on the grass, looking down at her body, as the sun glistened on her skin.
“You are so beautiful,” he breathed, and then knelt down beside her, hovering over her, letting his wet hair drip upon her skin, and then lapping the droplets from her body.
Hudson occupied himself, caressing her skin, as he drank each puddle of water created from his dripping hair upon her body. Ina closed her eyes, allowing him the enjoyment. She was enjoying it too. As her body was warmed by the sun and stimulated by Hudson’s caresses, Ina felt herself drifting away again, prodded on by Hudson’s attention to details. Details Ina had not realized she could even experience, yet she knew she longed to experience them now.
Her yearnings grew stronger with each new discovery Hudson was introducing her to, and she wanted to discover more. Hudson obliged, by creating shivers in places Ina had not expected. Her body was calling out to him, and he was responding to the call. Ina felt herself calling out, and in her throws of exaltation, she felt Hudson joining her, their bodies entwined finding the magic that caused them to cling desperately to each other. Ina rode on the waves of promise, and she knew it was Hudson that was bringing that promise to her in more ways than one. He truly loved her, and was showing her in every way he could, just how much he loved her. They spent the rest of the day, sharing the glories of love, and then on into the evening. When they were finally spent, Hudson helped Ina get dressed and put her on her horse.
“Time to start our new life together,” he whispered in her ear.
“I think my mother will be pleased when she hears the news,” Ina murmured.
When they reached the ranch, Chogan was sitting in the front courtyard.
“We all thought maybe the two of you took off to New York together,” he mumbled. “We were thinking of sending a search party out to look for you.”
“We are safe,” Ina said.
“I see you have resolved your differences,” Chogan mumbled.
“Yes, and you will be pleased to hear I took your
advice. I am agreeing to marry Hudson after all.”
Chogan smiled.
“I thought you would end up coming to your senses. You will be happy to learn that Callie and Chayton sent Cooper packing. They gave him a choice of leaving for good or getting arrested. He took the first choice, so I don’t think he will be darkening your door again.”
“So now all we have to worry about is going on the cattle drive,” Ina said.
“Yeah, I have been informed that I will become the new foreman at the Circle P,” Chogan told her.
“A very good choice, even if I do say so myself.”
“We are all invited over for dinner tomorrow at the Double C Ranch. You can tell your family the good news when you get there.”
“I’m sure mother will be pleased,” Ina smiled.
“…As everyone else will be. It’s been a few hard weeks, but I think life will be getting back to normal soon.”
“Everyone is getting married! I can’t believe us girls have all found husbands at the same time, except for Shanny.”
“At least Callie says her and Joey are getting along again,” Chogan mentioned.
“Mother thinks Conner wants to ask Carrabelle to be his wife.”
“Really,” Hudson asked, “I will be marrying Connor’s sister, and Carrabelle will be marrying Connor. Our children will be double cousins!”
“Well he hasn’t asked her yet, but maybe we can give him some encouragement! As long as there is going to be a triple wedding, why not add one more couple to the mix?”
“Guess I’ll leave you two on your own, now that you are home safely and I don’t have to worry any longer,” Chogan said, rising to his feet.
“Thanks for worrying about us, Chogan,” Ina laughed.
“Probably shouldn’t have. I knew you would work it all out.”
Ina watched Chogan head for the bunkhouse. Hudson looked down at her.
“Now what?” he asked. “You gonna send me to the bunkhouse too?”
“Not on your life,” Ina smiled. “I know I don’t have to worry about Cooper anymore, but I like the thought of you staying by my side. You promised to hold me every night, and I intend to hold you to that!”
Within the Heart Page 22