He blew out his cheeks, looking relieved. “Don’t Google his name, Natalie. I’m serious. Even if it’s unlikely you’ll see him again.”
Jessica swatted his arm. “Well now how is she supposed to stop herself from doing that? Stop putting ideas in her head.”
She squealed as he suddenly pulled her onto his lap and kissed her cheek. A flutter of awkwardness swept my insides. I always felt like I was walking in on something private around them. I wonder if she felt like that around Ben and me. Probably.
I was reminded of something William mentioned. “Luke, how is it with that side of the family? He mentioned that he was in the race to be CEO.”
With Jessica in his arms, he gave a derisive laugh. “I will be really, really surprised if he gets it. He’s a bit of a loose cannon.”
Considering how disrespectful Will was when he talked about Luke, I couldn’t exactly muster the energy to be angry on Will’s behalf. I could detect a faint note of bitterness coming from Luke’s voice. Was he upset that his father’s death ruled him out of the hierarchy of the company?
“I could see things getting really ugly between all of them when Uncle Dominic resigns. Did you know that he tried to sell my share of the company without my knowledge?”
“What?” I hissed as I looked at Jessica’s grim face. “Are you serious?”
“Yeah. He controls all the trusts and he wanted to sell all of the shares. I’m in the middle of a lawsuit with him, actually,” his voice trembled.
What a horrible family.
“I’m really sorry.”
“Ah, don’t be. Once this is over, I’m cutting off ties with all of them.”
I spent the rest of the evening boiling over everything Luke said—or hadn’t said. The unread email burned in my mind and I knew that I wouldn’t be able to stop myself from reading it when I went to bed. My mind burned all night. What was the horrible thing William had done? I wished Luke hadn’t mentioned it.
Kicking the chair back from my desk, I sank down and reopened the laptop.
—We broke up. Can we please talk? I really need to get some things off my chest. Maybe we could for lunch? I could meet you at Embarcadero. Please, Natalie. Call me.
-Ben
A flurry of emotions whirled inside me like a snowstorm. All of a sudden, I remembered with aching clarity how much I loved Ben. My finger tapped on the reply button and hovered hesitantly over the keys. I needed to see him one more time to find out if I was okay with moving on.
* * *
Early Wednesday, my agency called to tell me that I had a job offer already and that I needed to meet the client in the city. Today.
“Who is it?”
“The client has requested anonymity for now, but it’s important that you make it today.”
I was also meeting Ben in the city—I finally caved and sent him an email. I didn’t tell Jessica about it yet. I had the feeling that she would disapprove, even if she forgave him.
“Believe me, you want to go to this interview. This is a very competitive salary for a client who is—well, just get here.”
Intrigued, I agreed to meet whomever it was at eleven at my agency. Mentally, I patted myself on the back for finding a job so quickly. I was meeting Ben later at one, so this might work out perfectly.
Though the agency always made sure to have copies of my portfolio on hand, I brought one with me anyways. My heels stumbled over the cracks in the pavement near the BART station and I almost twisted my ankle.
Fuck. I really need to move from this place.
I only tolerated living here because of Jessica. She was my best friend and she was broke, so I helped her out by moving to a Section 8 complex. There were a lot of months that I paid for her rent. Those days were over, though. Jessica had a good salary and she paid me back every cent she ever owed me—plus interest. The lease was coming up in a couple months and I had no idea what would happen. Would she move in with Luke?
It struck like a gong inside me. I wanted to cling onto my best friend, but at the same time we were both growing up. Growing up or growing apart?
The metro screamed towards me, the cacophony of screeching metal making my teeth grind. I moved gratefully into the warm car and took a seat in the back.
My nerves were on high alert the whole way into the city. It’s been so long since I had an interview. I was heartily glad that I was meeting Ben afterwards. If it went badly, at least I was already done with the interview.
It had been ages since I stepped foot in my graphic design firm. I walked with some difficulty toward Union Square after leaving the BART, surrounded by hordes of tourists shopping at all the clothing stores. I opened the white doors to Cliff Graphic Design and approached the desk, my already tired legs shaking.
“Good morning.”
The receptionist gave me a friendly smile, which I returned feebly.
“I have a meeting at eleven.”
“Ah, yes. Natalie Porter? Right, go up stairs and it’s the second room on the left. He requested a conference room.”
I swallowed and nodded, thanking the receptionist before heading towards the elevator. I didn’t think I could handle a flight of stairs right now. What’s the problem? Don’t be so nervous.
The reflection in the shiny, metallic walls looked slightly ill. I stood straighter and wiped my hands over my slacks. Get it together. Whoever the client was, my agency seemed excited about them. I couldn’t wait to find out who they were.
The elevator doors opened and a massive seizure gripped my heart. I stepped out and walked down the hall, shoving open the door boldly. I forgot to knock—
A man with black, styled hair and hollow cheeks dressed in a smart, coal-grey suit looked up at me from the table and grinned. It took a moment for me to recognize him as William. He was so stunning that he looked like one of those unapproachable men I sometimes saw walking down the street in the city; the men who managed to make every female head they passed turn their way.
A lightning bolt shot up my arm. All the feelings I’d buried from the other night returned in full force. “Will! Ah—I have a meeting with a client.”
“I know. I’m the client,” he said baldly.
I looked down at his calm, satisfied face and had no idea what he wanted from me. When he left that night, he said, “Take care of yourself,” and I took that to mean that I’d never see him again. “Is this a game to you?”
“No,” he said in a grim voice. “Please, sit down.”
My whole body was shaking so badly that I could barely stand. I couldn’t believe the nerve of this guy that he would actually screw around with my schedule like this just to—what? What the hell did he want, now? Didn’t I fail his ridiculous interview?
His face was shrewd as he looked at me. I glanced at the desk, saw my portfolio spread in front of him, and my stomach clenched.
“I wanted to offer you a position as a contractor. It’s a temporary position that we need to fill for Luke’s Bed and Breakfast campaign. We’re going to review the sites in person, and if they qualify they’ll join the Pardini hotel chain.”
My ears were ringing. “You want me to work for you? Why?”
A flicker of surprise crossed his face. “Because you’re a talented artist. I got in touch with your agency and went through your designs. You’re perfect for this job.”
Perfect. That was not a word people used to describe me. It was so confusing. “But I thought that you decided not to hire me.”
“You’re the only one I can see myself getting along with.” He scanned me, his eyes darting back and forth.
He’s joking, right? I couldn’t help but laugh. “At dinner the other night, that was ‘getting along’ to you?”
“Compared to the others I interviewed, yeah.” He leaned across the table, his black tie dragging over it. “It’s a real job, Natalie. I looked at your portfolio and I was impressed. The job consists of you visiting these inns in the UK, France, and Italy. We need a graphic designe
r for the pamphlets and mailing lists. As the VP, I need to oversee the campaign and make sure it’s running smoothly.”
I burned all over. Was he suggesting what I thought he was? So, we’d travel together? “How much?”
He leaned back and cocked his head, giving me a smile that made my whole body hum with excitement. “Ten thousand dollars for a few weeks seems more than fair. All of your travel arrangements and meals will be taken care of. The contract is short, but if the executives love your work,” he shrugged, “you may be offered a full-time position.”
The executives? You mean, yourself?
Nevertheless, my mouth watered. I always wanted to go to Italy. He smirked at me, knowing full well that he was dangling a fat, juicy carrot in front of my face. I snapped back to myself. “Why me? Seriously. I really doubt that you need employees you get along with.”
He suddenly reached over and grasped my wrist. His thumb ran up and down, tracing my veins. “No, but I’d rather go with you.”
I snatched it away, the huskiness in his voice making my face hot. “Don’t lie to me.”
“Do you really think it’s that far-fetched that I might be attracted to you?”
Yes, I thought to myself, but admitting that would be a bit pathetic. “I’m getting very mixed signals from you. You said you weren’t interested in me, now all of a sudden you want to go on a three week trip with me?”
He looked at me, his eyes blazing. “You’re not my usual type, but I like the fact that you’re so open. You were so sad at the party. You didn’t even try to hide it. Everyone could see how miserable you were, but you didn’t care.”
That was news to me. My whole body felt unpleasantly hot. It was incredibly embarrassing, but it was true. He was saying things that no polite person would ever say out loud, but he said them with respect in his voice.
“At the restaurant, too. You sort of lost it.”
I had a flash of anger for the well-dressed, rich man sitting across the table, dishing out judgment towards me. I didn’t want to hear this shit. “I know that I’m a fucking mess and I don’t need to be reminded of it.” He leaned across the table suddenly and grabbed both my arms. “What’re you—”
“Natalie, I’m trying to say that we are very alike. You turned me down and that intrigued me.”
The fact that I could have anything in common with a billionaire was absurd, and yet William wasn’t the polished, put together person I would’ve expected from the Pardini family.
My arms had dark imprints where he grabbed me. He sat back in his chair and let that sink into my head.
“So is that what this is about? The chase? After one night with me, you’ll be done.”
William stood up from the table with a serene expression on his face and I wondered if I offended him. “I don’t think I’d want just one night from you.”
The sincerity in his voice took me by surprise. My heart thumped loudly in my ears as he swept around the table with a smile that made me feel like I was prey. Did I want him? Hell yes. No, he wasn’t a long-term solution to my loneliness, but he would make me feel good. Will pulled out a chair and sat too close to me. I was close enough to see the stubble on his chin.
His hand slid across my shoulder to brush my hair from my neck and I shuddered as if his hand slid up my naked thigh. His deep chuckle sent goose bumps over my skin.
“Are you afraid of me? Is that it? Or are you afraid of letting go?”
Both. Maybe he just wanted someone to fuck on the trip. Did it matter? My spirits sank. I don’t want to be used as a toy.
What demons are you hiding? Luke’s dire warning against Will echoed in my head.
I wanted to say something to stop the inevitable. I knew that if I looked at him, I would kiss him. “Luke warned me about you,” I said to his chin. “He said you had done something terrible.”
All the color drained from his face as he pulled away from me and sat up straight, staring across the table. “He told you?”
He looked like he had been stabbed. He almost looked dead, but his lips moved and a humorless laugh left his throat. “You must despise me.”
Waves of shock obliterated everything. My heart rammed hard against my ribs. I expected rage against Luke, or petty insults, but not guilt. He couldn’t even look at me.
Whatever it was, Will felt horrible about it and I never should have brought it up. I regretted it instantly, hating that empty look on his face. He stood up shakily and looked at the door.
“Will, he didn’t tell me anything. I just wanted to know what happened.”
Within an instant, his demeanor shifted. He whirled around and shot me a dark, electric look. Disgust wrinkled his nose as he looked down at me. “What the hell is wrong with you? Why would you bring that up?”
I shrank into my chair. “I’m sorry—it’s just—he mentioned something and I was concerned. If I’m going on a trip with someone, I think I deserve to know if I’ll be safe around them.”
The dark-haired man looked like he was on the verge of exploding. He wavered a bit on his feet, looking like he wanted to throw something, before dropping into his chair. His head fell into his hands and I heard him draw a deep breath.
What the fuck? What the hell do I do now? He was still breathing heavily with his face in his hands. He glanced up to give me a frightened look and he clutched his chest, gritting his teeth.
“Fuck,” he managed to spit out.
Holy crap. My heart bulged in my throat as I thought of what to do. He looked like he was having some sort of mental breakdown; he looked completely insane. No, he’s not crazy. He reminded me a lot of Jessica when she was having her panic attacks.
“Just breathe,” I whispered to him. My hand twitched as I meant to let it fall on his head, but I was afraid to touch him. I grabbed his shoulder instead and squeezed through his thick suit.
I had no idea what was going through his mind, but I recognized the signs. God, all those times when Jessica would have panic attacks, and of course she had no health insurance so we could never call the ambulance. It always scared the shit out of me.
Gradually, his breathing slowed and he was able to look at me. “Will you do it?”
I gaped at him. How could he ask me that when I just pissed him off? That’s why he wants me there. He needs someone to watch over him, to calm him down when he’s having his panic attacks. It has nothing to do with sex. I felt terrible for how I judged him.
“Will—”
“No,” he growled suddenly. “Don’t ask me.”
I nodded, understanding. Jessica couldn’t talk about her problems either. It took her years. “Will I be safe around you? I mean—this is not; I’m not trained for this sort of thing. If you’re using this graphic designer thing just as an excuse—”
“I’m not,” he said in a pained voice. “I just need someone to travel with me. You’ll be safe, I promise.”
He stood up suddenly with his hands balled at his sides.
Christ, he practically begged me. I knew that he was embarrassed and my heart flew out to him.
“Just let me know.”
“Will, wait!”
He was in a hurry to leave but I caught up to him and he turned around with a resigned look on his face. I can’t let him leave like this. I just wanted him to know that it was okay, that I understood. I wanted to do for him what he had done for me at the restaurant. Suddenly, my hands were around his tie and I was yanking his body forward. His head dipped down and his dark eyes widened; my head lifted and that heat I so desperately sought was mine.
What the hell am I doing?
He kissed back hard, his lips bruising against mine. The hunger inside me swallowed him in. His hand swept up the thin fabric of my blouse and grabbed my breast. I gasped into his mouth. His frantic breaths matched mine. I was paralyzed for a moment, seduced by the delicate stroke of his fingers, his lips claiming me as though I belonged to him. My body shivered as I palmed his chest, wanting so badly to run my hands
over every crevasse and that gorgeous dent under his throat.
When we broke apart, Will had that blazing look on his face and he stared at the table as if it would make a good bed.
My heart was hammering hard enough to make me feel dizzy. And we were only kissing.
I pushed against his chest. “Will, we’re in an office.”
“You started it.”
“I’ll do it,” I blurted as he swept down to kiss me again. I guess I’m going to Europe.
“That’s great,” he said with less enthusiasm than I expected. “We can talk about it over lunch, if you want.”
“Right now?”
He nodded.
I bit my lip hard. I have to see Ben after this. Will looked at me impassively without a smile, probably still upset over—whatever the hell it was that bothered him. It was alarming how fast his moods could change. As much as he intrigued me, he scared me. I wasn’t sure if I wanted someone that damaged in my life. Do I want all of that baggage? I thought almost longingly of Ben, who had his problems, but at least he was free of drama.
Then why did you kiss him?
“I can’t. I have to see Ben after this.”
A black look shrouded his face. “You’re going to go back to that loser?”
The insult set off something inside me. It was like he was talking directly to the dark corner of my mind that I tried to pretend didn’t exist. “You don’t even know him!” I shouted. “What is your problem?”
“Wow, that touched a nerve, didn’t it? I’m not the one getting upset.”
Piece of shit. Suddenly, I hated everything about him. Everything from his expensive suit to his handsome face and gloating smile
“What do you care if I get back together with him? It’s none of your business.”
His face flushed. “Then why the fuck did you just kiss me?”
It was my turn to be embarrassed. “’Cause I—I don’t know.”
The stab of hurt on Will’s face was visible only for a second. Then he lashed out like a viper.
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