Her flights booked, she started her search for hotels. She didn’t prefer one chain of hotels to another, but she did always try for a hotel with an indoor pool when she traveled. Since she was headed to southern California this time, she guessed it didn’t matter much if the hotel had an indoor or outdoor pool. The knock on her apartment door stopped her from doing much more than typing a familiar hotel chain name into the Internet search engine.
Striker had stopped by yesterday to say hello and ask if she needed help with the move. She’d talked with Mom on the drive home tonight, so it wouldn’t be her either.
“Who is it?” Cat asked before opening the door. Since she’d lived in the building there had never been any problems, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t possible.
“Zack.”
Phooey, why hadn’t she checked through the peephole instead? She could have pretended she wasn’t home or that she was asleep and not answered the door. Now that Zack had heard her voice, he wouldn’t just leave.
Unable to do anything else, she opened the door and found him waiting with a small bakery box in one hand. A few weeks ago, she would have smiled and welcomed him inside, but not now. Anger over his behavior at the party made it impossible.
“Hi.” She took a step back, putting more space between them.
He took that as his cue to walk inside. “I was away last week and only heard about your promotion this morning. Congratulations. You should have called and told me.” He put the cake down and moved toward her as if he intended to hug her.
She took another step back before he reached her.
“What’s the matter? I took a shower this morning.”
“You really need to ask?” Did Zack think she’d just brush off the incident like it had never happened?
“You’re not mad because I asked you to the holiday party in front of Bates, are you? You two aren’t even together anymore.”
Well, at least the North Salem gossip chain had gotten out the word about her love life. It saved her from having to tell people herself, which was something she didn’t care to do.
“That’s not the problem, Zack. Your behavior at the party is.”
Zack’s forehead creased and his eyebrows came together. “So I ignored Tony when I joined you and Lorianne. Big deal.”
She’d known he had too much to drink that night, but obviously he’d been even more intoxicated than she’d thought.
“Zack, you talked about us getting married and then you tried to kiss me. I had to hit you to make you stop. Then you almost got into a fight with Tony outside the ladies’ room.”
Zack shook his head as the color drained from his face. “That didn’t happen.”
“It did. I came out of the ladies’ room and found you waiting for me. You said you missed me and insisted you wanted us to get back together.” She moistened her bottom lip. She had enough on her plate right now that she didn’t need to be dealing with her ex-boyfriend too. “You had me pinned against the wall. That’s why I punched you.”
“I… man, Cat, I don’t remember doing that.” He looked away from her as he ran a hand through his hair. “I’m sorry. My behavior was way out of line, but it’s true. I do miss you.” He moved a few steps closer to her. “Leaving you was the biggest mistake I’ve ever made.”
Some of her anger dispersed, and this time, she didn’t move away.
“I know this is lousy timing with the promotion and all, but I’d like for us to go back to the way things were. I’m willing to make the move to California with you.”
Cat stifled her sarcastic laugh before it came out. Talk about rotten luck. The man she didn’t love was willing to pick up and move thousands of miles with her, while the man she did love no longer wanted her in his life.
“If the company won’t give me a transfer, I’ll find something else out there. We can get married this summer if you want. You always said you wanted a beach wedding.” Zack sounded confident she’d go along with everything he said, and when she didn’t respond right away, he closed the gap between them.
“How about we have some cake now and then drive over to the mall. We’ll pick out a ring and make the announcement on Thanksgiving.” He gave her hand a little tug. “I got your favorite caramel chocolate cake from Quincy Market.”
Cat shrugged free from his grasp. “No, that’s not what I want.”
“We can get something else while we are out then. Or wait and go someplace special to celebrate this weekend.”
“Zack, I don’t want to get engaged, and I don’t want you moving out to California with me.”
“We can wait and take things slow if you want.” Zack’s smile faltered.
She considered Zack a smart guy. Tonight though, he’d left his intelligence at home. “We’re friends, but I told you before that is all we are now. I’m sorry. I don’t want to get back together.” She’d considered telling him straight out that she no longer loved him, but it sounded just too cruel.
“Come on. I know you don’t mean that. You’re just confused because of all the stress.”
Stress was having a field day with her life, but Cat knew what she wanted. “We’ve both moved on with our lives, and we should keep it that way.”
The Adam’s apple in Zack throat moved up and down. “You really mean it,” he said, his voice thick and unsteady. “I thought with Bates out of your life, you’d realize how right we are for each other.”
Tears burned her eyes and she blinked to keep them from falling. “This has nothing to do with him.”
“Tell yourself that if you want, but, Cat, you wouldn’t be acting like this if you never got involved with him. Just remember, he doesn’t love you. He never did. Not like me.”
She envisioned putting her fingers in her ears to block out Zack’s voice. She didn’t need him reminding her of Tony’s feelings.
“I know how Tony feels, but that doesn’t change anything between you and me. We’ll always be friends, Zack, but I just don’t feel the same way about you anymore. I’m sorry.” And she was sorry. At one time, they’d had a good relationship, but it was in the past, and no matter what Zack said or did would change her mind.
“Right, friends.” Zack swallowed again.
She’d never seen him so emotional. Even the night he’d told her their relationship was over and he’d moved out, he hadn’t been this worked up.
Clearing his throat, he started toward the door. “Enjoy the cake. I’ll probably see you on Thanksgiving.”
Cat watched another man exit her life and wiped a tear from her cheek. She suspected she’d now destroyed whatever remained of their friendship. Maybe it was a good thing she’d soon call the other side of the country home before she lost any more pieces of her heart.
***
When her phone beeped, Cat glanced at it, her fingers crossed. The night before, she’d called Mom and told her she wouldn’t be there for Thanksgiving. Absolute dead silence had accompanied the announcement. Once the shock wore off, however, Mom had gone into a ten-minute lecture, throwing in every excuse she could to make Cat change her mind and push her trip off until the following weekend. None had worked, but that hadn’t stopped Mom from calling this morning with a few more reasons. And even though Mom promised not to say another word about it, she expected her to call back and once again try to change her mind. Not that it would do any good. She’d purchased her tickets and packed her bags. Tomorrow, she’d fly out and explore the area she’d soon call home. Hopefully, she’d also find a new apartment because she didn’t want to make another trip back before the big move. As promised, Penny, the real estate agent in California, had sent confirmation that they had appointments to look at all the places she’d narrowed it down to. She’d also found three more potential locations just in case the first ones on Cat’s list didn’t work out.
Mom’s furious, the text message on her phone said.
She’d rather have a message from Striker than Mom or Pop.
I know, she typed before
she glanced back her computer screen. She’d spent her entire morning meeting with Autumn and now needed to play catch up.
She wants me to change your mind.
Now that was funny. Cat couldn’t recall a time when Striker had ever managed to change her mind about anything. Mom’s really desperate, Cat typed back.
A smiley face appeared on the screen. Do you want me to come with you? Thanksgiving comes around every year. I already checked. I can get a flight right after the football game.
The moment she’d told Striker things between her and Tony were over, a switch went off inside him. The grumpy argumentative older brother who had been bugging her for weeks disappeared and good old Striker returned. It was the only good thing to come from breaking up with Tony.
Thanks, but no. Mom would never recover.
In a strange sort of way, she looked forward to apartment hunting on her own. The last time she’d looked for a place, Zack had been with her, and they’d decided on a place he preferred. This time, it was all about her. She didn’t have to think about what someone else liked. She could find the perfect place for her.
Let me know if you change your mind.
Will do.
Cat typed the final sentence and switched her phone off. She didn’t need any more external distractions today; heaven knew she had enough internal ones. Her last conversations with both Tony and Zack played over and over in her head as if they’d been stuck on a continuous play loop. She hoped, over the next few days, she’d find herself so busy that the play button would become unstuck, especially the one controlling her last conversation with Tony. That one even played in her sleep. Over and over again, she heard him say he’d miss her and insist she take the promotion.
Every time she thought of his comments, she wondered what would have happened if she hadn’t gotten the promotion? Would they have continued on as they had been for several more months? Would he eventually come to love her?
Wishful thinking, she reminded herself. He’d told her outright that he didn’t want anything permanent. No amount of time would change that. She might not like the things Tony said to her that night, but at least he’d been honest with her.
Was he? For the umpteenth time, the little devil on her shoulder whispered the question. He’d said he’d miss her. Would he, or had he just said that to soften the blow? She’d seen firsthand how quickly he went from one relationship to another. Why would this time be any different for him? By New Year’s, he may already have another person in his life.
A mental picture of Tony and Cora, the bartender at O’Leary’s, flashed in his mind. He’d admitted they’d gone out a few times, and Cora had made it obvious that night at the bar that she remained interested. In her mind, Tony led Cora into his bedroom and down onto his bed.
Cat rubbed her eyes. This shouldn’t be that difficult. They hadn’t been together that long. It shouldn’t matter to her who Tony spent his nights with. He didn’t care who she saw. He wasn’t sitting in his house with anger building up inside him at the mere thought that she was out kissing someone else.
“The job, think about the job,” she said under her breath. In a few weeks, she’d start on a whole new chapter of her life. A lot of people never got that opportunity. She’d needed to stay focused on that and only that. In time, the pain in her heart and all the memories would disappear. Next year at this time, everything with Tony would be little more than a brief blip in her life.
***
He loved Thanksgiving. What wasn’t to love? It was a whole day dedicated to family, good food, and football. Since the day he learned Santa Claus wasn’t real, Thanksgiving had become his favorite holiday. Right now, he should be looking forward to the day ahead. Instead, he stared up at the ceiling, wishing he could spend the whole day at home.
Grabbing the spare pillow, the one he could still picture Cat asleep on each night, he stuffed it under his head before taking the remote control off the nightstand. He’d never fall back to sleep, and he had a few hours to kill before he started his day. A day that started with the annual Thanksgiving Football game against Danvers.
Even before he played for the North Salem Football team, he’d enjoyed the game against the high school’s rival. More than half the town turned out to watch, regardless of what school hosted the game. The atmosphere around the game vibrated with its own unique excitement, which only residents of either North Salem or Danvers understood. Today, he assumed the same would be true.
Regardless, he didn’t look forward to stepping on the field behind North Salem High School. He’d dreaded going near the field since he ended his relationship with Cat. Coach hadn’t said anything to him regarding it. Instead, he’d given him a look that reflected his disappointment. Tony had seen that look before on Coach’s face, but it had never been directed at him. He respected Coach as both a mentor and friend, so the man’s disappointment cut deep.
“And just imagine the look he would’ve had if I kept Cat from taking that job.” Tony flipped to the sport’s channel, which played classic games this time of day. This morning, it was showing a playoff baseball game that had been played years earlier. Judging by the team’s uniforms, Tony guessed the game was at least twenty-five years old.
Something told him Coach Striker wouldn’t have given him the same look if he’d told Cat he loved her and asked her to stay.
“We’re both better off this way.” A familiar hollowness settled in his chest, and he took in a deep breath. She deserved better than him. Cat needed someone in her life who would love her and do everything possible to make her happy. He couldn’t do that. If he let himself love her, he risked losing her. His heart and soul wouldn’t survive that. By letting her go now, he protected them both. Someday, she’d thank him for that.
A lump the size of the baseball Boston’s former star pitcher threw on the screen formed in his throat, and he swallowed. Time, he just needed time. In another month, Cat would have disappeared from his system, and he’d be ready for a new relationship. Maybe he’d ask out Cora again. They’d had some fun together the few times they went out, and she’d still seemed interested the last time he saw her. Perhaps one night next week he’d stop after work and see what Cora was up to.
Bad idea. The memory of the last time he’d stopped in the pub after work rolled forward. If he’d known that night what a simple drink would turn into, he would’ve kept on driving. If he’d avoided the pub, he never would’ve slept with Cat, and he wouldn’t know the constant emptiness lurking inside him.
Tony punched the bed and kicked off the blankets. His brain needed some activity, and he had more than enough work to keep him busy. He’d tackle some of that until he needed to leave for the game.
The air churned with electricity as Tony approached the sideline. Even though the game didn’t start for a little while, parents, students, and town residents crowded together on the bleachers. When he’d played on the team, the Thanksgiving game had been his favorite. At the time, he hadn’t known exactly why. Now he wondered if it had something to do with the way it drew the town together. Overall, North Salem was a close-knit town, but when it came to supporting the students, it came together even more.
Tony noticed Mack seated with his daughter and Jessie in the bleachers as he passed by. Right away, he waved in their direction and stopped.
“Hey, Tony. Where’ve you been hiding?” Mack asked.
“Busy at work.” He wasn’t going to tell Mack he’d been keeping to himself rather than deal with his friends’ criticism regarding his decision. “Looks like someone is ready for the game.” He nodded toward Grace, Mack’s daughter, who wore a North Salem football jersey and a North Salem baseball hat.
“Grace found my old jersey at my mom’s and asked if she could wear it today. I didn’t even know Mom still had it.”
“Guess what, Tony,” Grace said, inserting herself into the conversation. “We’re going to Florida soon.”
He’d heard about the upcoming trip from Cat, who th
ought Jessie and Mack made the perfect couple. “You’re going to have a blast. I love Florida.”
“And guess what else?”
When it came to the things that came out of Grace’s mouth, Tony never knew what to expect. Right now was no exception.
“Striker promised me he’d watch Socks for me.”
It took Tony a moment before be remembered that Socks was the name of Grace’s new dog. “I’m sure he’ll do a good job.”
“If you don’t have any plans Monday night, come on over for the game. Sean and Mia are stopping by. Striker and Ella will be there too.”
Great, he’d get to play odd man out surrounded by couples. Yeah, no thanks. “If I get back in town earlier enough. I’m heading into Providence to look at a possible location for the new gym.”
“Cat mentioned you were thinking of expanding,” Jessie said, forcing him to look directly at her.
Jessie and Cat were friends. He had a sister and he knew the type of things girlfriends talked about. He could just imagine all the terrible things Cat had said to Jessie about him.
“Looks like it’s going to happen,” Tony said as he scanned the crowd for a familiar blonde. He just wanted a quick glimpse of her, and she had to be there somewhere. Cat never missed the game.
“Hi, Jessie. Thanks for saving me a seat.”
Tony paused in his search when he heard Kelsey’s voice.
“No problem. Where’s Ella and Cat?” Jessie moved closer to Grace as Kelsey sat down next to her.
“Ella’s down with Striker. She wanted to say hello before the game started.”
Tony looked over at the sideline where Striker and Ella stood close together. Even though he’d broken up with Cat, it still irked him that Striker had given Cat such a hard time about dating one of his friends while he dated one of Cat’s, especially since it seemed like Cat respected Ella and Striker’s decision.
“Cat’s not coming,” Kelsey said. “She’s flying out to California this morning to start apartment hunting.”
The Playboy Next Door Page 18