A sound echoed through the otherwise empty chamber then. Anna laughed, realising that she stood sighing to herself like a lovelorn lass. Shaking her head, she applied more attention to cleaning the table and finishing her tasks here.
The thing was... In accepting Davidh’s pledge of love and giving her own, she had given up her quest, too. Yet, this morning, as that truth set in, Anna did not feel the guilt or loss she had thought to. She did not feel a failure. Instead, she felt hope that both she and her son would live here among his kith and kin and he would find his own place within the clan.
She had been wrong to want to place him where his father might have been. Anna had been so empty for so long that she thought doing so would fill her with joy. Over the last weeks here, she had learned that she’d been wrong. Her mother had tried to tell her, but Anna had ignored her words and her warnings.
Only with Davidh’s love had she seen the truth and known.
Another sigh broke the silence and Anna chuckled again.
The bubbling boil of the small pot on the fire got her attention and Anna saw to making this new potion for Colm. Crouching down before the small hearth in the corner of the chamber, Anna added several more ingredients as the brother had instructed and tended to the mix as it simmered. When she heard the door of the stillroom open, she dared not take her gaze from the important task of blending this correctly.
‘This will take but a few moments more,’ she called out without turning away from it.
When the mixture was as the good brother had described in thickness and colouring, Anna lifted the pot carefully from the fire and turned to place it on the table there to cool.
Lady Arabella Cameron stood there watching her.
‘My lady,’ she said, offering a quick and barely respectful curtsy. ‘I...’
‘Nay,’ the lady said. ‘Finish this important task.’
Anna nodded and turned back to the table. She placed the pot on the stand so she could work more efficiently with the brew. The other necessary herbs and ingredients stood waiting in small cups, already cut and pounded into the proper powdery consistencies that Brother Richard had explained during his visit last week.
‘It does not smell appealing,’ the lady said.
Anna laughed. ‘Few concoctions that will do any good do.’
‘This is for Davidh’s son?’
‘Aye.’ Anna added the last of the ingredients and stirred it in completely. ‘Brother Richard has had some success using this for ailments of the lungs. Like Colm’s.’ Anna finished and poured the thick, brown liquid into a clean jug and covered it to cool. ‘He will return in a week or so with other treatments that we can try.’
‘You have a care for the lad.’
Anna glanced up into the lady’s astute gaze and nodded. ‘Aye, I do.’
‘You care very much for Davidh as well,’ the lady said. Anna nodded once more.
‘Aye,’ she said. ‘I love him very much.’ Even speaking the words, aloud and to someone else, thrilled her. To admit the truth of her heart felt good.
‘You cared very much for my brother Malcolm.’
The words, neither spoken as a threat nor meant as one, did just that. They threatened the peace that Anna had finally found. To let the past lie where it was. Meeting Lady Arabella’s eyes then, the ones so like Malcolm’s, Anna saw not the lady, but the sister of a man she’d loved, looking for her own peace.
‘Aye, lady. I loved your brother very much.’
Lady Arabella uttered a soft gasp and laid her hand on Anna’s. ‘We did not meet, but I saw him with you many years ago. I followed him one day into the forest and saw you.’
‘’Twas a long time ago, my lady.’
‘Would you speak to me of your time with him? We were at an age when we were pulled apart, each one of us being pushed on to a separate path. ’Twould mean so much to me to hear of him from someone who kenned him.’
A simple request. A sister about her brother. Yet, did she dare speak of matters, of a person, she’d not spoken of to anyone? Oh, she’d shared some small details and bits with Iain when she told him of his father. However, he did not know Malcolm so it mattered not what secrets she shared.
This, this would matter.
‘I swear I will not reveal your words to anyone, Anna. I just miss him so much and being here, where we lived and grew up together, just makes it worse.’
So, Anna did.
* * *
For the next hour or so, they shared confidences and secrets about the man they both loved. Arabella told her things that only a sister could or would reveal about a brother—his ways of avoiding duties, his methods of torment when he wanted Arabella to do something for him and his time spent with her as their father changed after their mother’s death.
For her part, Anna filled in the details about those magical months when she thought Mal would be hers and she would be his. The only thing she’d not shared was the truth about Iain. When she thought to speak about him, their son, a knock interrupted them.
‘My lady,’ the servant said upon opening the door. ‘Laird Mackintosh waits for you in the yard.’ A blush crept into the woman’s cheeks and a guilty smile broke out on her mouth.
‘Pray tell my husband I will join him anon.’
Anna stood and waited for the lady to do so. Lady Arabella did not move, even when the servant left. Several moments passed and still the lady did not leave.
‘My lady, does the laird not wait for you?’ she asked.
‘Oh, he very well might, but that was his way of telling me that he knew where I am and what I am about.’
‘He kens?’ she asked. ‘About Malcolm and me?’ So much for a simple talk with a man’s sister. Anna should have known better than to reveal what she had.
‘Worry not, Anna. He does not ken anything specific. He understands my habit of acting on my curiosity. My meddlesome ways, he calls them.’ The lady stood then and smoothed her gown down her legs. ‘I would ask only one more thing before I leave you.’
Anna knew the question before it happened. The lady must have seen Iain in the hall and seen the resemblance to her twin brother. She closed her eyes and waited.
‘When the time comes and you tell your son the truth, will you permit me to speak to him about my brother?’
‘I...’ Anna could not think of a reply. To say anything was to admit the truth—the truth of Iain’s life, his place, his possible future. Yet, looking at the lady, seeing the pain of loss that Anna was certain she, too, felt, she could not deny her that one connection with her lost twin.
‘I do not know when that will be, but, aye, once he knows I will tell him of your request.’
Lady Arabella embraced Anna, wrapping her arms around her and hugging her tightly. Without a word more, the lady released her, dabbed at the tears in her eyes and turned to leave. When she had almost reached the door, the lady faced her again.
‘Did Mal know that you bore him a son? An heir?’ she asked.
‘Nay, Mal had no idea.’
Some noise at her words drew her attention. Anna glanced over at the source of it—near the door—and noticed the door had been left ajar. Davidh stood there, staring at her, having clearly heard both the question and the answer she’d given to Lady Arabella.
By the time the lady turned to see what Anna stared at, he was gone.
* * *
Davidh turned and walked away, his strides growing longer and faster as he climbed the steps and made his way out of the keep and the yard. Her words swirled around him, but he could not think on them here. Not here. Not yet. Before he reached the gate, Davidh stopped and walked to the stables.
Lachlan directed those working on the new part of the building and had not noticed him, so Davidh kept to the shadows and searched for where the lad worked. Now, knowing the truth, it was hard not to se
e the resemblance to his closest friend in the boy’s features and stature. Looking past the nose that many Camerons inherited, now Davidh could see Malcolm there.
He turned and left then, still not allowing himself to think too closely on this. He needed to be away from this place, from the boy, from his mother, to consider what he had done. Davidh called out then for his horse and Lachlan hurried to fetch the mount. Without a word to the man, Davidh climbed up on the horse’s back and he rode. He rode fast and far and without thought of destination until the horse stopped in the road.
Glancing up, he recognised that he had ridden the long way around, but had ended up there at the falls. Davidh’s gaze followed the falls up past the first break to the second part of the falls and then to its highest level. Where Anna had lived.
Where the witch had lived.
‘I caught the witch,’ Mal had told him boldly on a day a long, long time ago.
They’d laughed and Davidh had thought his friend was boasting. All of the lads in the clan sought the witch—for fun, for gain, for all sorts of reasons. Yet, no one but Mal ever claimed to have found her.
Then, his friend had disappeared frequently over the next months, without word of his whereabouts or purposes. Thinking on it now, Davidh realised that Mal had not actually revealed anything to him about that summer.
That summer ten-and-three years ago.
How had he missed all the clues that pointed to the real truth—Anna had given his best friend a son?
Davidh climbed the path up along the falls, coming out at the top. He waved the guards he’d set there off and walked the area, circling her cottage and around her garden and back to the falls. He glanced at the place where Anna had been attacked. He walked the perimeter over and over, examining every encounter between their meeting and his proposal to her.
Had she known his connection to Mal all along? For what reason had she deceived him, deceived them all, about Iain’s parentage? Question after question battered against his thoughts until he could not keep them all in order. Then, one memory stuck out over the last weeks—Ailbert’s possible connection to the outlaws and the coincidences between her arrival and their activities and proximity to Achnacarry. Unfortunately, Lilias’s brother had disappeared once more, so no answers would be coming from him now.
So, he must find out the rest of it and inform Robert of this threat.
For the boy, Anna’s son, also represented a threat to the clan’s hierarchy that others could exploit. If he was Malcolm Cameron’s son, then he stood in line for the high seat. Malcolm would have inherited if he’d not died. Gilbert and then Robert were only eligible because their brother Euan’s line had died off.
But it had not.
Now, Robert’s son was positioned as heir and tanist, preparing for the time when he would inherit. Iain’s claim could supersede young Robbie’s. Though legitimacy was first and foremost the deciding factor in claims, that never stood against old clan loyalties. If enough of the clan believed that Iain should gain the high chair, it would threaten everything that Robert had done to secure his place and his sons there. A challenge to his right would undermine him in an already dangerous time.
He rubbed his eyes and dragged his hands through his hair then, irritated and aggravated and sorely in need of something strong to drink.
And he was desperately in need of the truth. Not the small snippets he knew along with his suspicions, but the whole of it so that he could decide how best to protect those he’d sworn his allegiance to.
His clan and chief.
His best friend.
His wife and her son.
His own son.
Protecting one or another would threaten someone else. Not upholding his promises would destroy his honour.
No matter which way he turned, no matter the path, someone would be hurt. Some could be ruined. Some could die.
Davidh climbed back down to the road and mounted his horse. There was only one way to find the truth and that was to find his wife.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Once the lady left, Anna grabbed up the potion that Colm needed and rushed after Davidh. In that moment, she’d read shock and betrayal in his eyes before he’d left as quietly as he’d arrived there at the door to the stillroom.
She made her way in haste through the keep, trying to avoid speaking to anyone. A small crowd gathered there around Lord Mackintosh, who had indeed been waiting on his wife, as his men prepared to leave Achnacarry to hunt. The lady, standing next to her husband’s horse, found herself lifted and thoroughly kissed there before everyone watching and waiting. At another time, Anna would have laughed at the very public sign of affection between the powerful laird and lady. Instead, she skirted their group and looked for some sign of Davidh.
Would he have gone to Iain? Would he go to his house? Searching across the busy yard, she saw nothing of him. Rushing through the gates, she asked the guards of him and learned he had rode out just a short time ago, in the direction of the road north.
What would he do now?
Anna walked to the house and found it empty. She could do nothing until he returned and Anna knew he would not do anything rash. He would not strike out at her or her son. He would not throw them out. She gathered up her basket and the things she needed for the villagers and left.
Lilias’s brother once more stood outside her cottage there. He met her gaze and nodded a greeting before going back inside his sister’s home. Anna shivered then; something about his gaze made her uneasy. She would have to tell Davidh that he was back after not being seen for some days.
When Davidh returned.
She found Colm with Suisan and administered the first dose of the new concoction. The boy’s usual acceptance of her brews wavered this time and it took her a long while to convince him of its importance. Anna walked the village, keeping watch for any sign of Davidh’s return, and never saw him.
The day passed without him.
The evening supper was eaten by only three of them.
* * *
When darkness fell, Anna followed her usual routine, but still found herself in bed alone. Some time in the middle of the night, still awake, she heard the door open and knew Davidh was back. A short time later, he entered the bedchamber, undressed in silence and climbed on to the pallet, lying as far from her as he could. Anna reached out to touch him, but could not make her hand go those last few inches.
His breathing never fell into the pattern of sleep, so she knew they were both awake all night.
* * *
The morning arrived, grey and cloudy, which suited her. Davidh rose without a sound or word and left their chamber.
She wanted to call him back. She wanted to explain and beg his understanding. But, truly, what could she say?
I kept my son’s father a secret. I brought him here as a usurper to the clan’s chieftain. I intended to use you to ease his way into the clan.
Her explanation would sound as damning as the truth of it, for she had planned to do all of that. She’d used him and his honour to make her way and to place her son, Mal’s son, in good stead until she could reveal his heritage.
He would never understand the whole of it. That she’d lost her resolve because she loved him. That his love made her see a different path for her son. That she did not want upheaval and danger to face her son’s clan because of his identity.
Anna rose and dressed and prepared their morning meal. Davidh spoke in his usual tone to the lads, asking the questions he did each morning and sending them on their way to their chores and tasks. He lingered over Colm, asking about this new concoction and watching his son closely as he imbibed it.
Never once did he meet her gaze. Oh, he did not speak rudely or ignore her. He just did not touch her or kiss her or even look at her directly. Her heart ached, understanding what she stood to lose now. If she had not
fallen in love with him, his anger and disdain would not hurt so much.
‘I will walk Colm to Suisan’s,’ he said, guiding his son to the door. ‘Wait for me.’
* * *
That short time while awaiting his return was the longest time in her life. Anna tried to keep busy, but every sound outside, every footstep past their door drew her attention. Even her favourite tea did nothing to ease her frantic worry. Finally, he opened the door. Standing there, outlined by the light behind him, Anna could not see his face.
‘So, ’tis true then? Malcolm Cameron fathered your son?’ He stepped inside and slammed the door, making her startle then. ‘He is the secret you kept?’
‘Aye.’ The word echoed across the now-great distance between them, confirming her sin against him.
‘Did you ken who I was to him when we met?’ He took a step towards where she sat. ‘Did you ken I was his friend?’
‘Aye,’ she whispered once more. ‘He spoke of you often.’
‘And yet, he never once spoke of you.’ She flinched at his words, for there was a harshness in them she’d not heard before from him. ‘You kept the boy a secret from Mal as well?’
‘That is not what happened, Davidh,’ she said. He did not have enough of the details to understand.
‘You told his sister he knew not of the bairn.’ Davidh reached the other side of the table then and placed his hands on it, leaning over. ‘So many secrets, Anna. How did you keep all the lies straight?’
‘Davidh, I pray you...’ she began.
‘Does Iain know? Or was that another lie?’
‘Davidh.’ Anna shook her head. ‘Sit. Let me explain.’
‘More lies? More secrets? I think not.’
‘I have not lied to you. You knew I kept the identity of Iain’s father to myself.’
‘Why, Anna? Just tell me why?’ He sank on to the chair and stared at her.
‘We have all kept secrets, Davidh. Mal kept me as his, not even telling you about me.’
She let out a breath and tried to find the words she’d practised to say. And could not. She stared at the fire, remembering the day when Malcolm Cameron came into her life.
A Healer for the Highlander Page 21