by Jeannie Lin
She didn’t know what he could possibly be unhappy about. She’d been even more meticulous today than ever before. Her brushstrokes were as neat as she could possibly make them. She had taken special care not to spill any ink.
‘My lord?’
‘There is something I need to tell you.’
It wasn’t fair that one look could pour so much fear into her. All she could do was wait in silence.
‘I made a visit to the Administrative City today. The Minister of Foreign Relations wishes to send a representative to meet with you.’
‘When?’
‘Two weeks.’
At first she was relieved that his foul mood wasn’t because of her, but too quickly her relief was replaced by panic.
‘Two weeks? But that isn’t enough time.’
Fei Long remained impassive, though his frown deepened. Her hands clenched just seeing how the muscles along his jaw tensed.
‘They wanted you to relocate to the imperial palace, but I managed to negotiate for you to stay here,’ he said.
The imperial palace. She hadn’t realised the enormity of what they were trying to do until now. What had foreign lords and princesses been to her before but faraway stories and dreams? This was a matter that involved the imperial court and perhaps even the Emperor himself.
He must have seen the sudden sick look on her face. ‘You won’t be alone. I’ll be with you. It will be a courtesy visit, I’m certain. Unfortunately, Inspector Tong will most likely come himself rather than send a retainer. He’s taken an unusual interest in this alliance.’
She didn’t know one minister from another, but it was clear that this visit could be the end of everything if she failed.
‘Do you think I’ll be ready?’
‘You will do well.’ His tone was more of a command than a comfort. ‘We just have to work harder. I have faith in you, Yan Ling.’
She nodded. Her palms grew damp and she wiped them against her robe when he wasn’t looking. The only thing that could make her more anxious than Fei Long’s disapproval was his trust.
* * *
After the evening meal, Yan Ling retired to her chamber early, but she didn’t sleep. She lit the oil lamp and unfolded the list of characters that Fei Long had given her to memorise. He hadn’t dined with them that night or any night for that matter. She always took her meals with Dao in the servants’ dining hall. She kept on reciting the characters to herself over dinner, afraid she’d forget.
Now that she was alone, she went through each character, matching them up with the words they represented. There were fifty or so on the paper. Strung together, they meant nothing. They were only practice words.
In her first days there, Yan Ling had looked through Pearl’s belongings. It wasn’t right to think of this chamber or the personal items within it as hers. She was there for only a few more months before she would be making an even longer journey. In one drawer, she’d found several books. When she’d looked through them, the characters had blurred together, black lines and dashes on the page with no meaning. It was hard to believe she’d ever be able to understand the knowledge held there, but now a faint promise dangled before her.
She looked through the first characters again. Each one reminded her of Fei Long. He was adamant about teaching her as much as she could learn in the next months. She wouldn’t fail him.
Soon she wasn’t thinking of the words. Instead, her mind drifted to the careful pressure of his hand around hers. The roughened texture of his fingers.
It was only because they were forced to spend so much time alone, she insisted. Her former master had been old and married. And fat. Fei Long was young and not unhandsome. And strong. That was the closest she would come to admitting she liked the way he looked. She squeezed her eyes shut as if that would stop the images of Fei Long from haunting her.
She’d made a habit of trying to read his expressions, which only seemed to shift from stern approval to controlled disapproval. Whenever the hard line of his mouth softened so much as to allow a smile through, her stomach swirled like a flight of sparrows.
This was stupid of her. She bent to look at the next line of characters and reminded herself that these things just happened: yin and yang and clouds and rain. Fei Long must never know. She’d die of shame if he ever found out.
‘Yan Ling?’
She jumped at the sound of her name. Dao stood at the edge of the sitting area, looking at her curiously.
Without thinking, Yan Ling sat up and slipped her arm behind her back. The pulse in her neck jumped as the paper in her hands crinkled mercilessly.
‘I saw the light from the hallway and thought you must have fallen asleep without blowing it out,’ Dao said, but her almond eyes narrowed with awareness.
‘I wasn’t as sleepy as I thought.’ Yan Ling’s heart pounded guiltily as she tried to fumble the paper into her sleeve. It burned against her palm like an illicit love letter. ‘I think I will go to bed now, though.’
Dao came forwards with the feigned uninterest of a cat on the prowl. ‘Let me help you with your robe then.’
‘No, you don’t need to—’
The clever servant manoeuvred around her and grabbed the paper with a triumphant laugh.
‘Fox demon!’ Yan Ling sprang at Dao, but the girl had already run to the far side of the room beside the dressing screen.
Her ears burned while Dao unfolded the paper and held it up to the light. ‘Oh.’ The delight faded from her rounded face and her lower lip stuck out in a pout. ‘Well, this isn’t nearly as interesting as I’d hoped.’
Yan Ling stalked over to retrieve the paper with a vicious swipe. ‘Those are the words I need to memorise.’
The act of studying the characters Fei Long had given her kept him close like a secret, gossamer thread tying them together. She knew it was girlish nonsense, yet her blood still heated at being caught. Excessive irritation was the only way to account for her guilty behaviour.
‘You’re like an alley cat, prowling for gossip,’ Yan Ling accused.
Dao folded her hands before her with embarrassment. ‘I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to intrude.’
Of all the servants in the mansion, she was closest to Dao. Yan Ling didn’t want to do anything to ruin their relationship.
‘I’m sorry for raising my voice.’ The unexpected feelings she’d discovered about Fei Long made her anxious. ‘There’s so much to learn and it feels as though there aren’t enough hours in a day.’ What she meant was that everything was forgiven. Could they please continue as if nothing happened?
‘What are the ones with the dots?’ That moment is passed, Dao responded silently. We can be as we were before.
‘Those are the words I’ve forgotten the meaning for. I’ll have to ask Lord Chang tomorrow, I suppose.’
‘There are only a few of them. You must be doing very well.’
‘I don’t know. There must be hundreds of characters to learn.’
‘Well, thousands really,’ Dao replied. ‘If you want, I can tell you what they are.’
‘You can read?’
‘Only a little.’ Dao fluttered her eyelashes demurely. ‘If I may?’
Yan Ling handed the paper to her and Dao read the dotted characters out loud before handing it back.
‘I was allowed to sit in on the same lessons as Miss Pearl when we were younger. The elder Lord Chang believed in educating his servants.’
A ray of light peeked through the clouds. ‘Can you help me?’
Dao seemed hesitant. ‘I never learned as much as Miss Pearl and the lessons stopped when I had too many chores to do—’
‘But you read so wonderfully just then.’
Dao’s smile widened, rounding out her cheeks. ‘If you would like me to, I’ll try. Your success is important to all of us.’
Fei Long had only a few hours each day for lessons, but if she studied at night with Dao as well, she wouldn’t seem so hopelessly lost. She would devote every moment of her da
y to transforming herself into a suitable bride. Much like Lady Min had done, she flew at Dao and hugged her.
Chapter Seven
Bai Shen stepped into the parlour from the entrance hall and Fei Long stood as he would have for an imperial official. Beside him, Yan Ling did the same. She waited in the sitting area as he went to greet Bai Shen, who was playing the role of Inspector Tong that morning.
Over the last week, Yan Ling’s training had become his singular focus. The keen-eyed inspector would be looking for reasons to discredit them.
She bowed with a graceful tilt of her head as Bai Shen approached. Her jewelled hairpin caught the light.
‘I am humbled to meet you, illustrious sir.’
Bai Shen bowed in turn. ‘Miss Pearl.’
Fei Long tried to distance himself and assess her appearance objectively. She was benefiting from the generosity of the kitchen. The hollows of her cheeks had rounded out slightly, losing their sharpness. The paleness of her skin had taken on a new brightness and warmth.
Yan Ling presented herself well, he decided. Her shoulders had lost their slouch and her expression was soft. She managed to project a tranquillity about her that must have required hours of practice. Usually she never stood still.
‘Miss Pearl, you’re as beautiful as they say,’ Bai Shen drawled garrulously.
‘You flatter me, Inspector Tong.’
Fei Long stopped them. ‘No government censor would open with that.’
‘Why not? It’s perfectly acceptable.’
‘This is an official visit. Be serious.’
Bai Shen wrinkled up his face in disdain. His friend was in less-than-perfect form. He’d asked the actor to come early, which meant that Bai Shen was hung over, if he wasn’t still drunk.
Yan Ling valiantly tried to continue in her role. She averted her eyes shyly. ‘The inspector is too generous. Will you have some tea?’
‘Tea would be wonderful.’ Bai Shen strode into the sitting area and slumped down into a chair. His head fell back, eyes closed. ‘And food if you have it.’
Yan Ling stifled a laugh, lifting her sleeve over her mouth in true lady-like fashion. The scoundrel Bai Shen opened one eye at the sound, a crooked grin cutting through his sickly pallor. The only thing Bai Shen craved more than a good party was attention.
‘Get up.’ Fei Long went over and gave Bai Shen a swift kick. ‘Let’s do this again.’
Dao, who had just stepped into the room with a tea tray in hand, promptly turned to head back into the corridor. They took their positions again.
‘Inspector Tong, an honour to meet you.’
‘Lady Chang, the honour is mine. And what an exquisite vase this is,’ Bai Shen gushed. Fei Long shot him a look, which he ignored. ‘Your father must have had impeccable taste.’
‘He would be pleased to hear it, sir.’ She bowed and her eyes turned downwards with a hint of sadness.
‘My condolences for your family’s recent loss,’ Bai Shen continued. ‘But there are important matters we must discuss today.’
‘I understand. Will you sit and have some tea?’
They arranged themselves in the sitting area with Yan Ling upon the couch and the two of them seated across from her in wooden chairs. Dao entered again with the tea tray. They waited until she finished pouring.
‘This is a very important duty you’re to fulfil,’ Bai Shen declared with a suitable amount of pompousness. ‘We must be assured that you are completely prepared.’
‘I’ve been working very hard to get ready—’
‘No, no,’ Bai Shen cut in. ‘This is all supposed to be effortless. You must say, “I am humbled by the task and hope to bring honour to the empire”.’
Yan Ling repeated the actor’s words to herself, her expression thoughtful. Her mouth moved silently while Fei Long watched the curve of her lips: soft, rounded, pleasing to the eye. His breathing deepened unexpectedly.
‘Mention humility and honour and the greater good of the empire whenever you can. I learned that from listening to this fool.’ Bai Shen jabbed an elbow in his direction before taking a sip of his tea. Then he sat back, groaning. ‘I’m dying. Will someone be merciful and kill me?’
Yan Ling leaned towards him in concern. ‘I know of a brew that might help. Many of our customers ask for it after a night of heavy drinking.’
‘You’re a goddess, my lady. We had a show last night, so of course we had to celebrate afterwards.’
‘Oh, what story?’
‘“The Maiden of Yue.”’
Fei Long glared at the too-familiar exchange between them. ‘Can we concentrate on the problem at hand instead of this dog’s theatrics?’
‘Who’s the dog so worried about his masters?’ Bai Shen retorted.
‘Let’s not fight,’ Yan Ling soothed.
‘We have another show in three nights.’ Though Bai Shen dropped his voice to a whisper, there was no subtlety there. ‘You should come see it.’
Fei Long turned on her. ‘You need to convince Inspector Tong that you’re a well-bred lady prepared to go to Khitan. Humouring this drunkard won’t help your cause.’
‘Promoting harmony is one of the four virtues,’ she replied stiffly.
‘The infamous Four Virtues.’ Bai Shen chortled. ‘Stricken by your own poison!’
Fei Long wanted to strangle him.
‘All this proper sitting and standing is good practice, but shouldn’t I learn more about your family?’ Yan Ling interjected. ‘What if they ask me about your father? Such as, how did he get his government position?’
Her questions took him aback. ‘Minister Cao Wei took a liking to him and gave my father an appointment after he passed the imperial exams.’
‘I don’t even know the most basic things,’ she insisted. ‘How much older are you than Pearl? Were the two of you very close? And when did you leave home for your military appointment?’
‘There’s no need to know such details. It would be rude to ask anything so personal.’ These weren’t the most intimate of questions, but even so they raised his defences.
‘She’s right, you know,’ Bai Shen said. ‘The two of you don’t seem like brother and sister at all.’
Fei Long sensed a rebellion brewing in the ranks. ‘I’ll be there beside you in case Tong decides to ask anything of that nature. It’s best that you say as little as possible. Let’s practise that.’
Yan Ling blatantly ignored his suggestion. ‘According to Bai Shen, I should be over-prepared for the performance. I should know everything about Miss Pearl.’
Fei Long rubbed a hand over his temples. ‘You don’t have to become my sister. Inspector Tong has never met Pearl.’
‘But what about Minister Cao Wei?’ she asked. ‘If he’s your father’s benefactor, won’t he be there as well?’
Yan Ling and Dao stared at him expectantly. Even Bai Shen had straightened to raise a questioning eyebrow.
‘I’ve already been thinking about that,’ Fei Long said. ‘This will only work if Cao Wei doesn’t attend.’
More subterfuge. More deception.
‘Can’t we let the minister in on the secret?’ she asked nervously.
‘That is impossible,’ Fei Long explained. ‘Cao Wei is a senior official within the imperial court. He would never let such a transgression pass.’
Yan Ling wrung her sleeve, crinkling the silk beneath her fingers. Her poise was faltering under pressure. Ill-fated indeed.
‘All you need to do is concentrate on your part and I’ll take care of the rest,’ he assured.
She nodded blankly.
‘Yan Ling.’ He waited for her to meet his eyes. If they stayed focused, they could do this. Together. ‘Pearl and I are seven years apart. I left the city nearly five years ago after the military exams.’
The information seemed to calm her. ‘Were you and Pearl close?’
‘Our relationship was a harmonious one.’
Her nose wrinkled. ‘Harmonious?’
What
else could be said? He and Pearl had got along well enough.
‘I’ve never had a brother or a sister,’ Yan Ling insisted. ‘It would help to know what it’s like.’
‘Miss Pearl worshipped her older brother,’ Dao supplied helpfully.
‘Fei Long was very strict about her upbringing.’ Bai Shen chimed in, his voice muffled. He was resting his head against his hand as if it had become too heavy to lift.
Fei Long shifted uncomfortably in his seat. How had this conversation become about him? He thought of how his sister had depended on him. Their mother was gone and there was no one else in the household to ensure her education and well being. When Pearl had been betrothed to Khitan, she’d written him impassioned letters. He’d assured her it was a great honour and the marriage promised a bright future for her. Even when she’d begged for his help, he’d remained steadfast.
‘Pearl was always diligent in her studies,’ he told Yan Ling. ‘Sometimes she was impetuous, but only because she was young. She was well-mannered, thoughtful and obedient. Remember that and you’ll do well presenting yourself to Inspector Tong, I’m sure of it.’
Yan Ling absorbed each description with quiet concentration. He always admired how seriously she took her role. So much depended on it.
He moved closer and considered taking her hand, but decided against it. ‘If I had seen you for the first time today, I would have never known that you were that impulsive teahouse girl from the provinces.’
Her hopeful gaze held on to him. ‘Really?’
‘Yes. That’s the truth.’
* * *
The scouting mission was underway the next morning. To Fei Long’s surprise, Bai Shen appeared at the gates with a determined expression and they ventured together to the Administrative City. On foot, the journey took them the first half of the hour and they arrived at the section gates once the many offices and functionaries had had a chance to settle into their daily routine.
They watched from the street as the army of clerks and messengers travelled between the various offices. A good portion of the northern part of Changan worked for the imperial government in one form or another.