by Deb Kastner
“He was helping me,” came Ellie’s voice from behind Buck, making him jump. Just like a woman to sneak up on a man. Buck whirled around to face her, lifting one eyebrow as he stared down into her gorgeous face. Time had been good to Ellie. She looked just as stunning as she had when she was seventeen—even more beautiful, if that were possible.
“If you’d take a good look over the stable door, you’d see what,” she said, sounding annoyed. “Tyler and I have been busy.”
Ellie made it sound like she and his son were old friends, and Tyler was beaming back at Ellie as if the sun rose and set at her presence.
What had she done to his boy?
This was the same sulky teenager who refused to utter two sentences straight to his own father and never, ever smiled, at least that Buck could remember. Tyler’s constant scowl was a mirror of Buck’s own image, he knew.
But this was something different.
Way different.
Ellie opened the stall door and gestured for Buck to go inside ahead of her. Tyler’s smile changed to a scowl as Buck strode in, but Buck ignored it for the moment. Buck removed his hat and tucked it under his arm.
“So what’s the story?” he asked gruffly. As soon as the words were out of his mouth, he saw the answer to his own question wriggling on the soft straw of the stall floor.
“Your son just delivered a foal,” Ellie said, sounding as proud as if she were speaking of her own child. “A breech birth. You should be proud of him, Buck.”
Buck was proud, but he’d never known how to express it, so he just shrugged.
Tyler stared at Buck for a long moment, his eyes narrowing with each second, until finally he muttered something under his breath and turned away.
“What did you say?” Buck demanded of his son.
“If you heard me, why do you have to ask?” Tyler replied sarcastically, then strode from the stall and out the stable door before Buck could say another word.
Buck looked at Ellie, who was staring at him as if he’d grown a third arm. “What did I say?” he queried defensively.
Ellie vehemently shook her head. “This was a special moment for Tyler, Buck,” she snapped, staring off the way Tyler had gone. “The least you could have done would have been to say something nice, something to let him know you are proud of your only son. Was that too much to ask?”
“Give me a break, Ellie. I was caught off guard. I couldn’t think of anything to tell the boy. You know I’m not good at saying things out loud.”
Ellie scoffed. “That I do remember.”
Buck had the distinct impression the subject had changed, though he’d always had difficulty following the train of a woman’s thoughts—especially Ellie McBride’s.
But he wasn’t that oblivious. She was obviously talking about him leaving town without a word all those years ago, for which he owed her an apology, or at least an explanation.
He cleared his throat. Ellie was still looking off the way Tyler had left in a teenage huff. Buck was used to his son’s behavior by now, but he imagined it was new to Ellie.
“I’m sorry about Tyler,” he began, then paused when Ellie’s wide-eyed gaze flashed to him, her eyebrow raised as if to ask him a question.
“He’s been through a lot.” Her voice was soft and gentle when she talked about Tyler.
“And I’m sorry I didn’t handle things better,” Buck continued gruffly.
“You’ve been through a lot, too.”
Buck sighed loudly. “Will you please stop making excuses for me? I’m trying to say I’m sorry.”
She looked him straight in the eye. “Apology accepted,” she said simply.
Buck didn’t remember Ellie being so erratic with her emotions. One second she was ripping him to shreds about his behavior; the next second she was blowing it off as nothing. Even as a teenager, she’d been extraordinarily levelheaded, a characteristic Buck especially admired in her.
At least until it had come to the building of the new highway, the Texas government’s bright idea to make a shortcut, a straight link between Dallas and Houston, which had caused what had once been a small, quiet ranching town to brim over with tourists. With that stupid highway forced on them, Ellie’s pragmatism had gotten the best of her, not that, in Buck’s estimation, the government program had done considerably much to improve Ellie’s lot in life.
Therapy Ranch, indeed.
“Look,” he began tentatively. “It’s good I caught you alone for a few minutes. I believe I owe you an…” Here he hesitated. The first word that sprang to his lips had been apology, the word Ellie had just used when he’d said he was sorry, but that wasn’t what he wanted to say. “An explanation.”
Ellie looked at him calmly, her arms relaxed down at her sides. “For?” she inquired lightly.
Ellie already knew what this was about. It was obvious to her that Buck was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders, and she suspected coming back to Ferrell hadn’t helped matters any. As the old saying went, it was like putting salt in a wound, though admittedly Ellie wasn’t certain exactly which wounds had carried Buck from Ferrell so quickly all those years ago.
Nor did she care. She was way past that, she told herself again. But she did want to offer her old friend comfort, especially in his time of need.
“Go on,” she encouraged, rustling up a smile for him.
“I know you must have been pretty angry with me when I left the way I did.” Buck jammed his fingers into his sandy brown hair, making it stand on end.
“Buck, that was twenty years ago,” she reminded him gently, her tone carefully neutral. Why did he want to dig up the past when there was so much to deal with right now, in the present?
“Still,” he drawled slowly. “You must want to know what happened back then.”
Ellie shrugged. “If you want to tell me, I’ll listen. But, Buck, the truth is, what happened all those years ago doesn’t really matter to me anymore.”
Buck stepped back, looking stunned, as if she’d slapped his face, not simply spoken a few quiet words.
“What?” she asked, thoroughly confused by his unusual behavior. Wasn’t Buck relieved to find she hadn’t been carrying a grudge all these years?
“It didn’t matter to you that I left?” He arched a questioning eyebrow at her.
Ellie frowned. “Of course it mattered. A lot of people in this town thought—I thought—you and I had a future together. I realize now, of course, looking back on it, that it was just a teenage romance.”
“Was that all it was for you?” Buck cringed. Ellie thought he looked like he wanted to yell. Or punch his fist right through the wall of the stable.
He shook his head but didn’t speak right away.
“I couldn’t stay in Ferrell,” he said at last.
“Because?”
“Because of the development, the highway. I knew this town was a goner. It was sure to turn into a tourist trap. And it has,” he said, sounding pleased with his own conclusions. “I noticed it the moment I returned. The town has changed, if not the people. Even my own mother sold out. She would never have turned our ranch into a craft store if it wasn’t for the new tourist trade.”
“So what, Buck? The neighbors are thriving, and business is good. I think the highway was the best thing that ever happened to this little town.”
“Exactly,” Buck replied quickly in a rush of breath, forcefully planting his hat back on his head.
“Let me see if I have this straight,” Ellie said, moving to the door of the nearest stall and sliding down into the fresh straw, wrapping her arms around her knees. She wasn’t sure her shaky legs could hold her much longer.
Buck didn’t follow suit but rather stood over her, almost as if he meant to intimidate her.
Well, if he did, it wasn’t going to work. She wasn’t going to back down to a sullen Buck Redmond just because he’d finally decided to come home.
“You left because you didn’t want the town to grow and change
with the development,” she stated, keeping her voice in a low, careful monotone.
Buck tipped his hat in response.
“Look around you, Buck. You have to see how good it’s been for everyone.”
He shrugged. “If that’s what they want, then I’m happy for them.”
“But it isn’t what you wanted,” Ellie mused aloud. “Which is why you left.”
Buck nodded. “That pretty much sums it up,” he agreed fervently. “At least that was part of the reason. I was really angry when my mom sold off all the stock on our ranch. I think that was what made me snap.”
Ellie didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. She’d imagined a million reasons why Buck had left the way he had, and 9,999 of those reasons involved her, specifically. Despite the fact that she believed she’d put those feelings in the past, where they belonged, she could not help the joyful rush of relief she felt in finding out that Buck’s leaving had had nothing to do with her.
But it did leave one question.
“Why didn’t you just tell me how you felt? Back then, I mean,” she asked softly, her gaze dropping to her knees. Her feelings were a little hurt now, and she didn’t want that.
“Because I already knew how you felt,” Buck stated plainly, crouching down on his haunches before her and sweeping his hat off his head, brushing his fingers through his thick, unruly mop of sandy brown hair.
“But I didn’t know how you felt,” Ellie replied, feeling dangerously close to tears.
Why was he bringing this up again? She was happy with her life now. In Ferrell, where she belonged. But there was no denying the attraction she still felt for Buck Redmond, despite everything he’d done.
“And I couldn’t tell you,” he answered. “Ellie, you have to admit that you were as gung ho as anyone about the highway coming through.”
“What, and you didn’t think I’d see your side of things?” she demanded.
“No.”
His brief answer sent another stab of pain through Ellie’s insides. Despite what she’d said to Buck earlier about them having a simple teenage romance, Ellie had always believed it had been more than that. Something real, if not lasting. And now Buck was saying he hadn’t trusted her at all.
Not with what mattered most to him.
Not with his heart.
“You know,” she said after a long, painful pause, “I still wish you would have talked to me. You didn’t even try to work out things between us.”
Buck frowned and shook his head. “I’ll admit I took the easy way out,” he said slowly, his voice gruff. “I didn’t want to face you and tell you I was leaving. If I had seen you, Ellie, I might not have left at all.”
“Would that have been so bad?” Ellie still couldn’t look him in the face.
Buck shrugged and shook his head again. “I don’t know the answer to that question, Ellie. I really don’t know.”
“Things didn’t turn out quite the way you’d planned.” It was a statement, not a question.
“No. They didn’t. But life never does, does it? At least I have Tyler to show for my efforts, even though I haven’t been the greatest dad. And you have your tourist ranch.”
Ellie was so surprised, she stood suddenly, knocking Buck off balance and onto his backside in the hay.
He didn’t know, did he? About the ranch, and the role he now played in it? Somehow she’d assumed someone had told him why he was here, besides to attend his mother’s funeral.
She offered him a hand up, which he willingly took, giving her the crooked grin she’d once found so adorable, and that still did funny things to her insides.
What should she say now?
Should she be the one to tell him about the ranch?
No, she decided suddenly. Let the lawyer do the honors. There was no reason she had to be the one to spring such news on the man. In fact, given the circumstances, she was probably the last one who should be blabbing anything to Buck.
“Tyler is a very special kid,” Ellie remarked, smiling gently at Buck.
“Just don’t let him hear you call him that. He thinks he was born forty years old. And I suppose my lifestyle hasn’t lent him much in that arena.”
Ellie didn’t ask about Buck’s wife, Julie. She knew the story from Mama Esther, heard it during many of the long talks they’d shared. That Julie had abruptly deserted Buck was almost more than Ellie’s mind could comprehend, but that she had likewise abandoned her own two-year-old son—well, that was entirely beyond Ellie’s frame of reference. She still felt angry every time she thought about it.
“You’re a good father, Buck,” she stated emphatically. “Anyone who sees you with the boy can tell that.”
“He doesn’t think so,” Buck muttered. “And I’m not so sure of that myself. He’s got so much anger built up inside of him. I think he might just explode some day.”
“Maybe I can help with that,” Ellie offered. “My ranch is called therapeutic for a reason.”
Buck lifted an eyebrow. “It’s kind of you to offer, Ellie,” he said, running a hand down his face, “but we aren’t going to be in town that long.”
Ellie nodded, but inside, she knew otherwise. Buck didn’t know it yet, but he was going to stay. She had to make him stay, or everything she’d worked for her whole life would go up in smoke.
The ranch. Her ministry.
Everything.
And she wasn’t about to let that happen.
Chapter Three
The reception had mostly cleared out by the time Buck and Ellie returned to the ranch house. Larry Bowman, the town lawyer, was waiting for them, helping himself to what was left over from the food folks had prepared.
Larry smiled as they entered. “I waited around,” he explained kindly. “If you’re feeling up to it, Buck, I thought it might be best if we tackled the reading of the will now, rather than putting it off for later. I completely understand if you would rather make it another day.”
Buck hung his hat on the rack by the door. “No, Larry. Today is fine. Good, actually. I need to settle things up and be on my way as soon as possible.”
Buck didn’t miss the surprised look Larry flashed Ellie, but she just blinked a couple of times and then shrugged before the moment was gone.
“So, did Mama leave Ellie something in the will? Is that why she’s here?” Buck asked, only mildly curious and not at all begrudging whatever his mother might have left Ellie. He knew the two of them had been close.
Larry scratched the stubble on his chin. “Perhaps we’d all better sit down,” he offered, rather than answering the question directly. “Everything is laid out in the will.”
“You can skip the formal stuff, Larry,” Buck said confidently. “I already know what the will is going to say, and I likewise know how I’m going to handle the estate. We don’t need to go line by line or anything.”
“I see,” Larry answered, not sounding as if he saw anything at all. Buck arched an eyebrow. He couldn’t understand what was so complicated. His mother had been a small-town woman, and she’d lived simply. She didn’t have anything of value except the craft store, and Buck knew he didn’t want to keep that.
Shouldn’t really come as a surprise to anyone, least of all Larry or Ellie.
“Why don’t we just cut to the practical stuff and let me tell you what I want to do,” Buck suggested, taking a hard-backed chair and turning it around, straddling the seat and leaning his forearms against the chair’s back.
Larry pulled another hard-backed chair opposite Buck and seated himself, his back ramrod straight, and set his briefcase on his lap. Larry almost appeared tense, Buck thought, which was odd for a lawyer.
Ellie evidently preferred to stand, for she leaned her hip against the table and crossed her arms, giving Larry a warm, encouraging smile, that Buck wished, for a moment, was for him instead.
Wasn’t she here to support him? It looked to Buck like all the support was beaming in Larry’s direction.
“So,” Buck sa
id when it appeared everyone was as settled as they were going to get, “Mama left me the ranch, er, the craft store, I mean. That’s probably the main item, right? I’m sure I’ll want to select some personal items to keep, and, Ellie, you feel free to do the same. I know how close you and Mama were.”
Tears formed in the corners of Ellie’s eyes, but she didn’t brush them away. The sight of her tears was enough to cause emotion to swell in Buck’s own chest, partly over the loss of his mother and partly in sympathy for what Ellie must be feeling.
“Maybe we could go to Mama’s house together,” he suggested, thinking it might be easier on her. He didn’t want to think about the fact that by his words he had disassociated himself from the ranch that had been his childhood home. Instead, Buck forged onward with his thoughts. “That way, Ellie, you can have first dibs at all her little knickknacks and things. I’m sure Mama would be happy to see some of her keepsakes passed down to you.”
Larry looked down at the folder in his hand, then adjusted his tie at the neck and cleared his throat. His face was expressionless, but a flush was rising on his cheeks. “Uh, Buck, son, I’m not sure how to tell you this, so I’m just going to come out and state it plain. There is no ranch.”
“What?” Buck knew he was squawking, but Larry’s statement had hit him with the force of a semitruck. “What do you mean there is no ranch? My mama lived in that place her whole married life. She might have turned the place into a tourist trap, but she wouldn’t sell it off to some stranger.”
Ellie’s arms dropped to her sides, and her fists grasped the edge of the table. She gave an audible huff and glared at Buck. “She did sell the store—the ranch, Buck. Last spring. I know this is going to be hard for you to accept. She wanted to tell you about it in person, but she became ill before she could make a trip out to see you. She didn’t plan it this way.”
Buck buried his head in his hands. Could this be any worse? “I don’t get it,” he murmured between his palms. “Why would Mama sell her own home? Was she too frail to run the store by herself anymore?” That didn’t sound like Buck’s mother at all, but he was grasping at straws to come up with any reasonable explanation for Esther’s actions.