Not a dream.
The room in which she found herself was dimly lit and wasn’t a place she had ever been before. Liss sat up. Where was she? The bed was huge and she lay under a heavy embroidered coverlet, plump white pillows at her back. Thick curtains covered the windows, a faint light washing in at their edges.
This room was beautiful and homely, probably the same size as her dormitory, but it contained only this one bed. An armchair sat by the window and there was also a sofa and a low table. Liss didn’t think she’d seen a sofa since she’d been at The Close. Even the word ‘sofa’ sounded strange in her brain. It was a word from another lifetime.
A clear glass of water stood on the nightstand. A glass! That was another thing she hadn’t seen for years. Here, they all drank out of tin or pottery cups. She reached across and picked it up. It felt smooth and cool. Grown up. Back when she lived on the farm she wasn’t supposed to use the glasses in case she broke one, but her parents always drank from them. She took a delicate sip. It was the most delicious drink of water she had ever tasted. Like drinking cool fresh air. She drained the glass and set it back down.
Then she remembered what she had seen. Or rather who she had seen. FJ. Matthew was FJ. That couldn’t be true. And then she had blacked out. Fainted. And now she was here. Wherever here was.
Liss gave a start as the door creaked open and someone walked in.
‘Hello, Miss.’
It was a girl. And she had called her ‘Miss’. Nobody called anybody ‘Miss’ in The Close. They were only to use first names. It was one of Grey’s rules. They were all supposed to be equal in the eyes of God. Well just because they all used first names, didn’t mean they all acted as equals. Liss realised the girl was nervous of her.
‘Hello,’ Liss replied. ‘Could you tell me where I am please?’
‘Yes, Miss. You’re in the North Canonry.’
The girl came over to the nightstand and refilled the glass with fresh water. Then she bobbed a little curtsey.
The North Canonry? Wasn’t that where Grey lived? But that couldn’t be right. She couldn’t be in James Grey’s living quarters. Could she?
‘Sorry, did you said the North Canonry?’ Liss asked.
‘I better tell Sir you’re awake,’ the girl replied, ignoring Liss’s question. ‘He said to inform him the second you woke up.’ She scuttled out of the room.
Liss grew even more anxious. Why was she here? Was she in trouble for fainting? Was Grey going to come in here next? The thought terrified her. And what about her girls? She had left them in the cathedral. They wouldn’t know where to go without her to lead them back.
And FJ . . . Had it really been him? Or had she imagined it? Maybe she had dreamt him after she collapsed. But it felt more like a memory than a dream. It was so sharp and fresh. His face; the way it had drawn her in as always. It had to have been her brother. And he was . . .
‘Hello.’
Liss snapped her head up and stared at the figure at the foot of her bed. He was still dressed in his robes and appeared taller and broader close up. But there was no mistaking that this was her brother.
‘FJ,’ she whispered. ‘Is it really you?’
Chapter Twenty Five
Liss
*
He tutted and shook his head. ‘FJ is gone. I am The Voice of the Father now. Or did you miss that part of my speech?’
Liss couldn’t tell if he was joking or serious. ‘But it is you, isn’t it?’
He came around to the side of the bed. ‘Yes. It is I. How are you, Deborah?’
Liss gave a giggle. ‘It feels funny hearing you call me by that name.’
‘Deborah is your name isn’t it?’
‘Well yes, it is now, but . . .’
‘Then why should it be . . . funny?’
Liss realised FJ wasn’t joking. He was very serious. Perhaps they were being watched.
‘I’ve been so worried about you,’ she said. ‘All these years not knowing if you were alive or dead. And now, here you are. My big brother. And you’re . . . The Voice of The Father.’
‘I must say, it warms my heart to be reunited with you too, sister.’ There was no trace of FJ’s boyish country accent. He now spoke with exactly the same intonations as Grey.
‘So you didn’t know I was here either?’ Liss asked.
He hesitated.
‘FJ?’
‘It was difficult.’
‘So you did know I was here?’
‘Like I said, it was diffi . . .’
‘How long, FJ?’
‘What?’
‘How long have you known I was here?’
‘A while.’ He sighed and walked over to the window, drawing back one of the curtains. Daylight streamed into the room making Liss squint and blink. She peeled back the covers and slid out of bed. Her clothes were warm and crumpled and she attempted to smooth them down.
‘Days? Weeks?’
He didn’t reply.
‘Months? God! Years?’
‘Don’t blaspheme, Deborah. Do you want to go to hell?’
‘So why didn’t you try and contact me?’ she said, walking round the bed towards her brother. You obviously have some power now.’ Liss hadn’t spoken this much in years. It felt strange to hear her voice running free without fear of consequences. ‘If you knew I was here you could’ve sent word. Or at least a note to put my mind at rest.’
‘I couldn’t.’
‘No. I see that. You were too busy being promoted to think about your little sister. Even though it’s your fault I ended up here in the first place.’
‘Enough!’
‘FJ, what happened to you?’
‘I’ll tell you what happened to me,’ he said softly. ‘My life began.’
‘While mine ended,’ she replied.
‘Careful. Those are treasonous words.’
‘So? What are you going to do about it? Lock me up? Have me killed?’
‘Why are you acting this way?’ he asked, taking hold of her arm. ‘Where is my sweet little sister? I cannot believe you have become so . . . shrewish. I thought you would be . . .’
‘You thought I would be meek and mild and placid. A drugged up zombie like the rest of them . . .’
‘Quiet! You are out of control. You need to . . .’
‘What? I need to what?’ A tear rolled down Liss’s cheek and she wiped it away angrily.
‘Sister, we’ve got off on the wrong foot. We should rejoice that we’re finally reunited, not bicker like the children we once were.’
Liss bit her bottom lip. He was right. Of course he was right. The main thing was that FJ was alive and they had found each other. None of the other stuff mattered.
‘I’m sorry,’ she said. ‘It was the shock.’
He relaxed his shoulders and smiled. ‘Of course. Come here.’ He held out his arms and she stepped into them. They hugged, something they had never done as children. Then he stepped back and looked at her. ‘Do you know, you have hardly changed a bit.’
She smiled. ‘Well I hope I’ve changed a little. It has been nine years you know.’
‘Still the same sweet face though, sister.’
‘And you’re still the same old FJ, able to wrap me round your little finger as usual.’
He grinned and for a moment it was as though they were back home in the yard. But then his smile hardened.
‘I must go,’ he said. ‘Our Father will be missing me. He needs me more than ever now. Now that I am his Voice.’
‘Of course,’ Liss said.
‘Rest. I’ll return when I can and we’ll talk more. I will find a position for you here in the house.’
‘Here?’
‘Of course, here. You’re my sister, I need you close by.’
‘If I’m to stay here, can you . . . could you bring Anna here too?’
‘Anna?’
‘She’s my sister. Well, not my real sister of course. But we’ve been together since . . .’
‘Yes.’
‘Then of course. But I really must go now.’ He kissed her cheek, straightened up and left the room, his cloak billowing out behind him.
Liss watched him go, her heart racing. She stared at the empty space he’d left, letting her eyes slide out of focus, and then she finally turned away.
FJ. She had seen FJ. He was here.
She pulled back the other curtain letting more light tumble into the room through the diamond-leaded glass. Slants of yellow sunshine sliced through the air making little kite shapes on the carpet. Liss touched the patterns with her toes. Then she climbed back onto the bed and pulled her knees up to her chest, the sun warming her face.
So FJ had been here all along. But he had become one of them. He wanted to be here. Wanted her to be here too. When all she wanted was to go home and have everything be like it was before. But it would never be like that. Too much time had passed. Too many things had happened. Her childhood had gone and her brother was lost.
Chapter Twenty Six
*
We’d been moving through thick woods for a while now. Negotiating our way over tree roots and around low branches. The area was alive with night noises – rustlings and snufflings, screeches and hooting night birds. I tried not to think about it. Denzil had come this way alone to meet us and he wasn’t worried, so I shouldn’t be either.
The clouds thinned to let a haze of milky moonlight through and I could scarcely make out Denzil’s shape ahead of me, moving quickly and silently through the trees. I was warm now, sweating slightly in an effort to keep up, concentrating on avoiding the branches and on where to place my feet.
I hadn’t realised that Denzil had suddenly come to a halt, and I only just stopped myself from crashing into his backpack. He raised his right hand and cocked his head to the side. I didn’t dare break the silence to ask why we’d stopped.
He turned around and raised a finger to his lips. I turned back to Luc whose eyes were wide and questioning. I slowly shrugged my shoulders. Luc moved closer and the three of us stood there. Listening.
There. I heard it. A soft steady shuffling noise up ahead, like muffled rain. The sound was distant and close at the same time. Denzil motioned for us to stay where we were and he silently disappeared ahead into the trees.
The shuffling noise was constant which made me think it couldn’t be an animal. It sounded too regular.
‘What is it?’ I mouthed to Luc.
He shook his head. ‘Whatever it is, stay close to me,’ he whispered.
I nodded.
Suddenly I spied a shape moving through the trees towards us. I tensed up, stifling the urge to cry out. My hand reached for my revolver at my side, but I relaxed when I realised it was only Denzil returning.
He came up close and spoke in a low voice.
‘Grey’s men are on the track up ahead. Hundreds of ‘em. Marching towards Salisbury.’
‘Towards Salisbury?’ Luc said.
‘Yeah.’
‘Maybe they’re coming back for supplies or something,’ I said.
‘Could be.’ Denzil shrugged. ‘Anyway, we’ll have to wait here till they’ve gone. I don’t want to have a confrontation. Explain what we’re doing on their land in the middle of the night. This’ll put our plans back a bit. Hope it don’t mess things up.’
‘Is there another route?’ Luc asked.
‘Probably,’ Denzil said. ‘But I don’t know for sure and I’m not risking getting us lost or trapped somewhere. We’re better off waiting; seeing if Connor can still get us in.’
The shuffling noise was still there and it creeped me out even more now I knew the source of it – Grey’s disciples in their long spun cloaks. Their feet tramping through the countryside, faceless figures in the night. I couldn’t even think of them as people. They were more like machines created to do his bidding. Not thinking for themselves. Perhaps they were too terrified to disobey him, or maybe they really had been brainwashed and wanted to serve him.
Strange. If Luc and I hadn’t escaped, would we have become part of Grey’s scheme now? Would we have lost the power of rational thought? I’d like to have thought not.
‘What if FJ and Lissy are like Grey’s guards now?’ I whispered.
‘What?’ Denzil said.
‘They’ve been there years,’ I said. ‘They must be brainwashed already.’
‘Dunno,’ Denzil said. ‘Bit late to be worrying about that.’
‘Yeah,’ I said. ‘Sorry.’
‘No it’s a fair point.’
‘The noise is getting quieter,’ Luc said.
‘We’ll have to travel more slowly now,’ Denzil said. ‘Don’t wanna catch up to that lot. Let’s give it five more minutes and then we’ll get going.’
I started thinking about Pa and Eddie. About how they would be getting on in the Ringwood Perimeter. Had Grey’s men reached them yet? Were they fighting? Would they succeed? And I wondered if Grey was leading his men in battle or if he was safely holed up near here in Salisbury, away from any danger. That would be more his style.
The woods were quiet now, apart from the usual forest noises. The sound of Grey’s men had receded and so we decided to start moving again. Darting across the track that Grey’s army had used, we headed into deep forest again, travelling parallel to the track, but hidden from view under cover of the trees. It was slower going, but at least we weren’t exposed.
I gave a start as a large-ish creature crossed in front of us, eying us worriedly before slipping into the undergrowth.
Then abruptly, the woods ended and we found ourselves standing at the edge of a huge meadow, the sound of rushing water nearby. There in the distance lay Salisbury Cathedral, its tapered spire piercing the blue black sky.
We stood in silence for a moment, taking it in. The whole building glowed eerily as though lit up from inside – a ghost building. The moon suspended in the sky above; a small insignificant dot.
‘Keep to the edge of the field,’ Denzil said. ‘The closer we get, the more chance there is of being spotted. The walls aren’t far from here.’
We did as Denzil instructed and stayed close to the hedge. There was a wooden stile at the end and Denzil vaulted over the top in a single fluid movement. I climbed after him and Luc vaulted over last. And now we’d reached the heart of Grey’s empire – the walls of The Cathedral Close.
But suddenly I remembered something. Something I couldn’t believe I had forgotten.
* * *
The following day, Liss was transferred out of the beautiful room in the North Canonry and into a small dwelling in the grounds of the big house. FJ kept his promise and later that afternoon Annabelle was brought to her. They were shown to a room which they were to share with four other female staff.
The two girls were given two sets of clothes – shoes, socks, grey skirts and blouses, a nightdress each, towels and wash things. They each had a comfortable single bed and a nightstand containing two drawers. Liss kept asking after FJ, but every time she did so, she was answered with a shrug or a quizzical look. He must be too busy to see her.
But Liss sensed an opportunity. This could be the chance she’d been hoping for. The way for her and Annabelle to escape. She realised FJ would not want to come with her. Nor would he allow her to leave. She had no choice but to forget all thoughts of them leaving together to be reunited with her parents. It would be her and Annabelle alone. She didn’t have it figured out yet, but surely something would present itself.
As the days passed, Liss and Annabelle settled into their new routines. They were working as maids in Grey’s house, under the supervision of Mary, an older lady who lived in their dwelling. She showed them how to make the beds properly, how to sweep the fireplaces, clean the crockery, glasses and silverware and, most importantly, how to move quietly about the place.
‘You must never be in the presence of Grey or his disciples without express permission,’ Mar
y said. ‘If a room needs to be cleaned, you wait until it has been vacated. If Our Father or his Voice, or any of his holy disciples enter a room, you lower your head and leave that room. Am I clear?’
Liss and Annabelle nodded.
‘Good.’
Liss wanted to tell her that his Voice was actually her brother, but she kept her silence. Maybe Mary already knew.
Her days were full and every night Liss fell into a dead sleep as soon as she crawled into bed. There was no time to think of escape, no time for anything other than the work at hand. She barely spoke to Annabelle or the other girls. But she wasn’t unhappy. The only thing that niggled was that FJ had seemed to have forgotten her. After that first conversation, the day she had fainted, she was sure they would see each other often, but she hadn’t set eyes on him since.
Time passed quickly and Liss realised she had lived at the North Canonry for over a month now. Over a month with no word from FJ and no real plan of escape.
Lying in bed one night, she felt exhausted as usual, but her mind was working overtime. A cool draught from the window made her pull the covers up past her cheek and over her nose. She heard Annabelle’s regular breathing in the bed next to her. Heard soft snores from the other girls. She knew she should sleep too or she’d be fit for nothing tomorrow, but she couldn’t switch her mind off.
Liss felt frustrated and, for the first time in her life, she actually felt angry. Her brother was the reason she had been abducted all those years ago. He was the reason she had been torn from her parents and lost her childhood. This whole thing was his fault.
It had all worked out nicely for FJ. He had always craved adventure and now he was second in command of a whole city, while she was an unpaid serving maid. A prisoner. It wasn’t fair. But looking back on her childhood, FJ had always got what he wanted and she had always fallen in with his plans. So maybe it was her own stupid fault for being so weak-willed.
Gradually she drifted into an irritable sleep. But her sleep didn’t last very long. For only moments later she awoke to feel a hand at her throat.
The Clearing (Outside #2) Page 13