“Go pack a bag, Lace,” repeated Nick, quietly this time, as though he sensed that I had just realized the gravity of my situation.
I slowly stood when Nick offered his hand to help me, wiping away my tears the best I could considering how they wouldn’t stop falling. I took one last lingering glance at the pitiful heap of a man on the floor before I turned to glare up at Nick as hatefully as I knew how.
“You know he didn’t mean for this to happen,” I snarled through clenched teeth. “I swear to God, I’ll hate you until the day I die if you breathe a word of this to embarrass my daddy and me.”
Nick
Jerry Dalton had been like a father to me when I was growing up. He was there right beside my own father, cheering me on at my first tee-ball game. He and Grace had been there to see my first steps, my first words, my first everything, just as my own father had. And many times, he had filled in when my own father hadn’t been able to.
Jerry was the one who took me fishing for the first time when I was six, when Kevin had his appendix removed, and my parents left me with the Dalton’s while they both stayed with him in the hospital. Jerry was the one who secretly taught me how to fight when I was nine, when Jeremy Whittenbacher bullied me on the playground. It was Jerry who caught Chris and me skipping school and drinking our first beer in my dad’s tool shed when we were fourteen, and then promised he wouldn’t tell on us as long as we never did it again. When I was seventeen, he was the one who caught me screwing Claire in my car at the foot of the driveway one night and had wanted to have “the talk” with me to make sure Claire and I were being responsible and safe. Jerry was the one who shared a drink with me when he came out to find me commiserating alone on the back porch one night after catching Claire with another guy for the first time.
Years of love for this man couldn’t negate the hatred and blind rage I felt for him the moment I walked in and saw what he was doing to Lacy though. I was seriously about to kill him when Lacy intervened.
Now, as I stared down at Jerry still crumpled on the floor, the rage was slowly beginning to melt away. The part of me who knew how deeply he regretted his actions felt sorry for him more than I hated him.
“You shouldn’t have let it go this far, Jer,” I said, once Lacy left the room.
Jerry dared peek up at me, his teary eyes shadowed by humiliation, and he issued a slight nod of agreement.
“I should’ve killed you back there.” Jerry bowed his head, and his shoulders quivered from the force of his sob. “Lace is the only reason I didn’t. I won’t say anything to anyone because that’s the way she wants it, but if I agree to keep my mouth shut, I’m not letting her come back here. No matter what kind of help you do or don’t get, she’ll never live under this roof with you again. You understand that, don’t you?”
Jerry nodded again, pushed himself up off the floor, and straightened his clothes. “Come back for her things later. Just go.”
Jerry started to walk away and made it as far as the entranceway to the living room. With his head still bowed in disgrace, his shoulders shaking from the intensity of his grief, he took a deep, ragged breath and let it out in a sigh. “You’ll take care of her, won’t you, Nick?”
I knew that in spite what happened earlier, Jerry still loved Lacy, and sending her away was breaking his heart.
“I’ll take care of her, Jerry. And I won’t tell anyone either,” I added. “Just say she went New York. That you wouldn’t let her go, so she ran away.”
Jerry nodded and walked away, leaving me alone in the kitchen to wait for Lacy. When she returned, she didn’t look at me or speak as she carried her single suitcase and her guitar toward the back door. She stopped out on the porch, and with her back still to me, she said, “I still have my New York money saved. If you’ll drop me off at the bus station in Asheville on your way home that’ll be fine.”
“Let’s just get out of here for now. We can figure that out later.”
I took her bag and led her to my car. She stopped with the passenger door open and gazed over toward my house. “Can I see Kevin?”
“Lace…”
“I can’t leave and not see…”
Her words trailed off under a fresh onslaught of tears. She knew as well as I that she couldn’t see Kevin without having to explain why she was leaving. Nevertheless, leaving Kevin was going to be almost as hard as parting with her father. No matter what had happened between them, I knew that deep down in her heart, there was a love for my brother that time, me, or Claire could never destroy.
With her shoulders slumped, she climbed into the passenger seat while I loaded her things in the back.
Once we were on the road, Lacy leaned her head against the window and vacantly stared out at the blurry black void of night slipping by. The trip to my house in Asheville took nearly an hour, which passed with a stark silence that racked my nerves as I drove. I wanted to talk to Lacy, but no particular moment seemed appropriate for conversation. Each time I started to speak, it was almost as if she telepathically told me not to bother.
Halfway through the trip, Lacy closed her eyes, though I didn’t think she was sleeping—only reliving the nightmarish events of the evening thus far. When I finally pulled to a stop in my new driveway, she opened her eyes and stared about in confusion.
“This is the house Chris and I are renting,” I said, gazing out the windshield toward the front lawn of the quaint, single level house.
“I know it looks small from the front but it’s bigger than it looks, and there’s a decent-sized yard out back too,” I explained, nervous suddenly and rambling just to ease the tension between us. “The landlady said the neighbors are nice but mostly keep to themselves, which is fine by Chris and me since we’re usually in classes most of the day anyway. It’s a little old, but she’s kept the place up really well except for a few minor-”
“I thought you were going to take me to the bus station.”
“Let’s just stay here tonight, and we’ll talk and come up with a plan in the morn-”
“Just take me to the station now so I’ll be out of your hair.”
I reached across the seat and smoothed a few loose, silky strands of hair back from her forehead. “Lace, you’re not in my hair,” I said softly, with more tenderness than was wise. “When I told you to come with me, I meant to bring you here. I’m not dropping you off alone in the middle of the night to get on a bus with nothing but a few hundred dollars and a suitcase. I’m not that irresponsible, and you’re not that stubborn. Let’s just go on in and get settled down for the night. We can talk and come to a plan tomorrow.”
I thought she might argue, but to my surprise, she let out a deflated sigh and opened her door. I grabbed her suitcase and led her up the dark porch steps, into the house.
Chris and I hadn’t got around to unpacking anything when we decided to break for the day. Lacy took in the living room with stacks of boxes up against the walls, while I threw my keys on the kitchen counter off to the side of the front door.
“Didn’t get much done in the way of moving in, as you can see,” I said, as I led her through the house, starting with the kitchen.
“We bought a few things to snack on while we were here earlier, but we don’t have much. There’s a convenient store up the street that stays open all night. If you get hungry or need anything, I can drive up there and back in five minutes.”
I led her down the short hallway from the living room. “This first room is Chris’s,” I explained, waving toward his bedroom door.
“And across the hall is the bathroom.” I opened the door and turned the light on as she took a step closer to peer in and survey the room. “The faucet drips a little so don’t break your arm trying to turn the water off because it won’t work.”
“Everything is really nice, Nick. I bet you and Chris will be happy here.”
“Yeah, well, it beats the dorm,” I said, turning and motioning for her to follow me further down the hall.
“Last
room on the tour is my room.” I opened the door so she could walk inside and look around. The room was virtually empty but for the double bed, nightstand, and dresser. “I’ll find a set of sheets so you can sleep in here tonight.”
“No, I don’t want you to give up your bed. I can sleep on the sofa.”
“I don’t mind, Lace. That old sofa pulls out into a bed, so it’s fine. Besides,” I said, as I turned off the light and started back toward the living room, “television is in the living room. This way I can stay up watching the late show after you zonk out.”
“Are you sure?”
“Positive.”
We reached the living room again, and after searching through a few boxes, I found the one containing linens. “Why don’t you go take a shower or do whatever you have to do in the bathroom while I make the bed.”
“I can do it,” she offered quickly.
“It’s my bed.”
“But I’ll be sleeping in it.”
“Alright, we’ll make it together, then you can come out here and help me make mine too since you’re in such an agreeable mood,” I said, which made her smile even if only slightly.
We worked together and finished making both beds in only a few minutes. “You go ahead and do your thing in the bathroom. I’ll wait.”
Lacy took her suitcase into my bedroom and closed the door. I sank down in the chair by the sofa-bed and stared at the floor with my head in my hands.
“Holy shit,” I whispered to myself, as I recalled walking in on the scene in the Dalton kitchen earlier.
When Lacy cried out, and I went downstairs to check on her, Jerry was in the process of trying to lower his pajama bottoms. He had Lacy pinned against the counter, unable to fight him off or escape.
If I hadn’t been there… If I hadn’t heard her cry out for me when she did…
“Holy shit,” I said again to the empty room.
It was hard to be excited about Lacy staying in my house, sleeping in my bed, considering the circumstances that made that dream-come-true possible. I wanted to close my eyes tonight and imagine her head on my pillow, her body under my blanket, sleeping just down the hall. I wanted to fantasize about slipping in there in the middle of the night to wake her with kisses, but I knew all I would see was her trying to squirm and writhe away from her drunken father. The thought of what could have happened brought the sting of tears to my eyes.
“All done.”
Lacy jolted me from my morbid thoughts when she came out of the bathroom in fresh pajamas with her hair falling free and loose down her back.
“Alrighty then,” I said, pushing up from the chair. “I won’t be long.”
It took me a few minutes to find a change of clothes, and then a few additional minutes to shower. I finished quickly, feeling fresh and ready to spend half the night up talking if Lacy wanted or needed to. But she sat curled up in a tight ball in the chair, sound asleep.
She roused enough to hold onto my neck when I carefully picked her up and carried her to my room. Once I had her situated her under the covers, I sat on the edge of the bed.
“Nick?” she murmured with her eyes still closed, obviously still half-asleep.
“Yeah, Lace.”
“I’m sorry,” she mumbled, as she curled up on her side, working her lips in preparation for the nightmares I felt sure would greet her to negate the relief of sleep.
“What are you sorry for?”
“I wouldn’t ever hate you. You’re all I have now.”
I leaned down to kiss her forehead. “You will always have me, Lace. Always.”
∞∞∞
Part Two
Lacy
We hadn’t arrived at Nick’s house until well past midnight. By the time I changed clothes and settled down to sleep, it was nearly one. I was confused and disoriented from waking up in a strange place at first, but then I wandered out into the living room and found Nick lightly snoring on the sofa bed.
Nick was here. I was safe with him. He was the sole familiar light in my otherwise dark world.
After carrying out my morning routine in the bathroom and getting dressed, I scavenged the kitchen for something to eat. I found a box of cereal but couldn’t find a bowl and spoon, so I quietly rummaged through a few boxes until I found the dishes. I only planned to unpack what was needed to eat, but once I started, I ended up emptying one box and putting its contents where I thought they should go in the kitchen, and then started unpacking another.
Two hours later, I still hadn’t eaten yet, but the kitchen was unpacked and fully functional. Finding strength in the act of repetition, I set about to start on the few boxes in the bathroom. While in the middle of unpacking a stack of towels, Nick stumbled in with his hair disheveled, scratching his bare chest in mid-yawn. His eyes, still red from sleep, widened when he saw me.
Instantly wide-awake, he peered around, taking in my efforts. “What are you doing?” he asked, as he meandered over to the sink and caught a glimpse of his reflection in the mirror, seemingly unabashed in my presence.
“I’ll leave you alone,” I said quickly, putting down the towels and heading toward the door.
“No need to leave. Stay and talk to me. I’m just going to brush and shave. Nothing you haven’t seen before.”
He was wrong. I had never been alone with a real, full-fledged man before except for my father. It didn’t occur to me until that moment that Nick was indeed a man, and not just Kevin’s older brother.
When I hesitated, he nodded for me to come back. I reluctantly sat on the edge of the bathtub.
As he readied his toothbrush, he glanced at me in the mirror’s reflection. “You didn’t have to unpack my bathroom, Lace.”
“I don’t mind. The kitchen is done too. I didn’t want to wake you, and I once I got started I couldn’t stop.”
“Well, in that case, by all means…” he said with a wink. “Did you sleep okay?”
“Yes, thank you.” Which was a total lie. I’d had the worst nightmares of my life, repeatedly reliving the horrible experience with my father the night before.
“Good.” He brushed his teeth for a moment and then paused to say, “You know we’ve got a lot to do today, right?”
What could we possibly have to do besides him dropping me off at the bus station? “Like what?”
He rinsed his mouth and then filled his hand with a glob of shaving cream, spreading it over his jaw and neck as he explained. “We have to get you unpacked. And we’ve got to find out where the closest high school is. There must be at least two or three different high schools in Asheville. I have no idea which district we’re-”
“What are you talking about?”
“You have to finish school, Lace. I’m not letting you drop out.”
“But I’m not staying here!”
“Of course, you are,” he said, as though an alternative was too silly to consider.
“I can’t live here with you!” I cried, standing up in objection.
He stopped shaving in mid-stroke to meet my eyes in the mirror. “How come?”
“I don’t know,” I answered, “because you don’t have room for me and… And what would Chris say? You said you’d take me to the bus station today. That was the plan.”
“I don’t recall having a plan,” he said, as he resumed shaving. “I said you’d stay here till we came up with one, and now we have.”
“But, Nick-”
“Yeah,” he said, sounding amused by my protests.
“But you have school, and your work-study job at the school, and… other stuff to worry about. I’ll just be in the way. I have no way of helping with the rent or food or anything. Why would you even want me to stay when it would be much easier for everyone, most of all you, if you just put me on a bus?”
He finished shaving and rinsed his face before propping his hip against the sink, facing me with his arms over his chest. “So, I put you on a bus. You go to New York. Then what?”
“I don’t know!” I
cried out in desperation, already losing this battle because, admittedly, I had no idea how I would make it alone in a big city, much less “the” big city. “I don’t know,” I repeated, in a small voice laced with defeat.
“Exactly. Look,” he said, taking me by the elbow and guiding me out to the hall and back toward the living room. “You graduate at the start of June. That’s only five months.”
He folded the bed back into the sofa and situated the cushions so we could sit. “Okay, here’s the plan. Stay here and finish school. I’ll graduate around the same time you do. Afterward, when you’re ready to go, I’ll be able to go with you to meet this Mason dude. I’ll stay and help you settle in. That way I’ll know you aren’t sleeping in an alley somewhere, and I can let Jerry know where you are and that you’re okay. Don’t worry about rent or anything else. And I’m not even worried about you chipping in for food. Unless you’ve secretly developed an appetite that I’ve never seen before, I doubt you’ll eat half as much as Chris and I put together. This way you can save your money for when you decide to leave. Deal?”
“Do I have a choice?” I asked defiantly. Though, in truth, I was relieved that Nick had already come up with a solution to my predicament. I was terrified at the prospect of living alone in an enormous, strange city.
“Of course, you do. You can go stay with mom and dad. I’m sure they won’t mind letting you live in my old room if you’d prefer that. I’ll even go clean all my stuff out to make room for you. But that means you’d have to explain why.”
“But I’d have to tell them about daddy then.” He nodded. “If anyone finds out, Daddy’s reputation would be ruined. Donald would push him out of the business. All his friends and the people who know him would turn their backs on him. He could be arrested even.”
Daddy knew this too. For the first time, I realized why he agreed to let me leave so easily. He didn’t want me there causing a ruinous scandal for himself. Nick knew too, which was probably why he offered to bring me with him, as opposed to exposing the incident and destroying what was left of my father’s pathetic life. And mine.
Breaking Lacy (Nick & Lacy Book 1) Page 11