by Darcy Burke
“Christopher,” Agatha warned from where she sat, “let’s be pleasant.”
He glanced at her and smiled. “Of course, we’ll be pleasant. Paula, we’re glad you could come. Are there any games you’re partial to?”
With a shrug, she said, “Anything you want to play is fine.”
“You see what I mean about her? She’s the type of person who can easily adapt to any situation. That’s exactly the kind of thing my cousin needs. I’m telling you,” he turned to Agatha, “I made a good match.”
Shaking his head, Perry lumbered over to Nate and sat in the chair next to him. He had to hand it to Christopher. His cousin could offer himself enough compliments to fill up a book.
“Let her sit down,” Agatha replied. “You’re embarrassing her.”
“What? Is that true?” Christopher asked, looking at Paula. “I was only trying to make you feel welcome here. Think of us as a bunch of lovable people, except for Nate. We put up with him because of Claire.”
“Christopher,” Agatha said with a groan.
“I’m done. Now we can let Paula tell us all about herself.” He motioned for Paula to sit by him and Agatha, but Perry cleared his throat and shot him a pointed look. “Oh, all right. Go sit with your husband…unless you’d rather sit with far more interesting people.”
Chuckling, Paula said, “Perry is wonderful. I’m very happy to be with him,” and went to sit next to him. “Thank you for introducing us.”
“Christopher, you think you’re so clever, but I can’t help wondering how you ended up cleaning out stalls and emptying chamber pots.” Nate leaned forward and glanced at Paula. “Perhaps you’d like to hear him mention that while he’s bragging about how he arranged for you to meet Perry?”
A smile tugged at Perry’s lips when Christopher gagged. He had to hand it to Nate. He always knew what to say to make Christopher squirm. If only he had the same good sense.
“I don’t know about anyone else,” Ethan began, “but I’m getting tired of hearing about the stables and chamber pots every time Christopher and Nate get into the same room. Can’t we discuss something else?”
“Thank you, Ethan,” Christopher replied, smiling at his friend.
“Sure, we can discuss the Battle of Waterloo,” Nate spoke up.
Ethan grimaced. “That happened long ago. It has no relevance to anyone anymore.”
“Long ago? It was in June.”
“Exactly. Months ago. I don’t see any reason to concern myself with something that old. We ought to talk about something that’s happening now, something that impacts our lives at the moment.”
“You mean like the fact that no one knows where Lord Pennella is?” Christopher ventured.
“No one cares about Lord Pennella,” Agatha replied, an underlying disgust in her voice.
“Well, that’s true,” he consented. “And that being the case, we should let Paula talk about herself.”
“What if she’s shy and doesn’t feel like telling a room full of strangers about herself?” Catherine piped up. “I know I wouldn’t like it.”
Perry glanced at his wife. He secretly agreed with Catherine. Having to talk about himself in front of people he just met would make him very uncomfortable, and by the slight trace of pink in Paula’s cheeks, he guessed she would rather not. Sighing, he leaned on his cane and said, “Christopher, before you start asking Paula questions, why don’t you give her time to get familiar with everyone? Not everyone is as vain as you.”
“Nice one,” Nate whispered.
Pleased, he nodded his thanks to his friend.
The butler came into the room before Christopher could respond and announced that dinner was ready.
Relieved, Perry rose to his feet and offered to escort his wife to the other room. She accepted and the four couples went to the long table which was set with many fine dishes. Perry had to admit that Agatha arranged for some wonderful meals. He still couldn’t figure out why she married his cousin, but there was no doubt the two were happy and for that, he was glad his cousin could at least be a good husband.
The course of the meal went smoothly. Most of the talk revolved around the estates the couples would soon be going to until their return to London the following spring. Ethan and Catherine were looking forward to the birth of their first child early the following year. It wasn’t often that Perry cared what happened to Ethan, but in this case, he was happy for him.
Once the meal was over, Christopher asked to have a word alone with him while the gentlemen adjourned to one room and the ladies to another. As tempting as it was to deny his cousin’s request, curiosity got the better of him and he followed him to a small room filled with books. He hadn’t taken Agatha for a Gothic enthusiast, but those were mainly the ones that lined the shelves.
“Your wife enjoys Gothic horror?” Perry asked, picking up a book and inspecting the title.
“We both do,” Christopher replied. “You ought to read one sometime. It’s much more interesting than the bland reading you do.”
“I happen to enjoy history.”
He yawned. “Which has no bearing on today.”
“Oh, I disagree. It has a lot to do with today. The rise and fall of many nations usually follow the same pattern.”
“The same could be said for a gentleman’s ability to pleasure a lady in bed. Did you read the book I gave you for your wife’s benefit?”
Perry glowered at him. He should have known his cousin would make the inquiry. “You spend way too much time minding other people’s businesses when you should be minding your own.”
“So, I take it you haven’t?”
Tapping his fingers on his cane, he said, “I’ll have you know she told me she’s satisfied in bed.”
He stared at him for a moment, his eyebrows raised in an irritating manner that warned Perry he wasn’t going to like what he heard next. And he was right, for Christopher asked, “Who is the one satisfying her?”
“Me, of course!”
“Are you sure she’s talking about you?”
“Yes.”
“But how can that be possible when you haven’t read the book? I know you came into your marriage as pure as the day you were born, so you haven’t had any experience in this area.”
“I don’t have to read the book to know what to do to make her happy. These things are guided by instinct.” Why was he wasting his time? All Christopher wanted to do was goad him along, to get a reaction out of him. When was he going to learn to act as if nothing his cousin said or did could bother him?
“You know what I think?”
Narrowing his eyes, he snapped, “No, and I don’t care to.”
Not to be deterred, he continued, “I think she told you she’s satisfied with you because she didn’t want to hurt your feelings.” When Perry shook his head, he added, “Are you familiar with how a lady cries out or how her body clenches when she climaxes?”
This conversation was much too personal. Perry could only blame himself for letting it get this far. He turned to head out of the room when his cousin darted in front of him, a knowing grin on his face. Perry stepped back, quickly using his cane to regain his balance.
“You would know exactly what I’m talking about if you read the book,” Christopher pressed. “The book is a gift I gave you for Paula’s sake. It’s not hard to satisfy a gentleman but it can be tricky to adequately satisfy a lady. You needn’t look so offended. I read the book. Contrary to what you believe, I hadn’t known a lady intimately before I married Agatha. What I read in that book helped me immensely. And I’m not the only gentleman who’s read it. Your good friend Nate has too, and we both know how happy his wife is. There’s no way she’d be smiling otherwise.”
“Nate is good to Claire.”
“Only in bed.”
“He’s good to her at other times, too.”
Christopher shook his head. “You have a blind spot when it comes to your friend. But it is what it is, so I must accept it. Listen,
I’m not trying to be mean by giving you that book to read. I just want you to have the kind of intimate life that I have. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to do your part to pleasure your wife. It’s not a sign of weakness to learn how to do that.”
“You’re much too bold in areas you shouldn’t be. Now, if you don’t get out of my way, I’m going to hit you with my cane.”
For the first time since he’d become Christopher’s guardian, he stared at him, silently challenging him to make him use his cane to knock some sense into him. After a tense moment, Christopher finally looked heavenward and stepped aside.
Relieved, Perry headed out of there, moving as fast as he could with his limp to slow him down. He didn’t feel like staying here anymore. He found the ladies in the drawing room, giggling at something Claire said.
Agatha was the first to notice him. “Perry, is something wrong?”
“I don’t wish to stay here anymore. Paula, would you mind going home early tonight?”
Paula shook her head and rose to her feet. “No, I don’t mind.” Smiling at the ladies, she added, “Thank you for a lovely evening.”
He offered a bow before he escorted his wife out of the room, glad she didn’t argue with him. It’d been apparent that her evening was going better than his, and she probably wanted to stay longer. It wasn’t until they were in the carriage that she asked him why he wanted to leave early.
“I just didn’t feel like staying,” he replied.
Even as he said it, he knew it was a weak answer. But he couldn’t bring himself to tell her the truth. With any luck, she’d never find out about that blasted book and how insistent Christopher was that he read it.
“All right.” She kissed him on the cheek. “It just means we have more time alone.”
Growing uneasy at the thought of doing anything in bed, he said, “It’s been a long day, what with White’s and our horse ride in Hyde Park. I’m tired. I’m not up for anything else.”
She wrapped her arm around his and rested her cheek on his shoulder. “Would you hold me then? I got used to sharing a bed with you and don’t want to sleep alone anymore.”
“I can do that.”
At least that was one thing he could get right that Christopher couldn’t criticize him for. How he wished his cousin had the decency to mind his own business. And how he wished he didn’t let his cousin bother him.
TEN
The next morning as Perry sat in the den with his feet kicked up on the ottoman, he didn’t feel any better than he had the night before. In fact, he felt worse. To Paula’s credit, she hadn’t asked him what was bothering him. She had to have picked up on his bad mood, but she hadn’t pressed him about it and that was a relief.
He stared at the fireplace, not really seeing the flames flickering as they cast shadows along the room. The housemaid had been ready to open the drapes when he told her to leave them shut and draw him a fire instead.
However, his reprieve was not to be enjoyed for long since Nate showed up within half an hour of his retreat to the den. When the footman allowed him in, he glanced in his direction.
“I take it you’re not busy,” Nate joked.
Sighing, he motioned for his friend to come in then turned his attention back to the fire.
Nate picked up the decanter from the table and poured himself a drink. “You thirsty?”
Perry shook his head.
“I notice you disappeared after Christopher asked to talk to you alone.”
He grimaced. He should have known Nate would come over to find out what happened.
“You really shouldn’t let him get to you,” Nate said before he took a sip of brandy.
“I don’t try to let him get to me.”
“Yes, you do. He gains the upper hand every time you talk to him. If you had made him muck out stalls or do some other unsavory task while he was your ward, he wouldn’t be the way he is today. You were always soft on him.”
“Well thank you, Nate, for pointing out my shortcomings. Without you to point out how inadequate I am, I don’t know where I’d be.”
“Be sensible. I’m not trying to point out your shortcomings.”
“You could have fooled me,” he muttered, glancing at his pocket watch and wondering how much longer he’d have to suffer with his friend’s presence before he could kick him out. Snapping the pocket watch shut, he slipped it back into his pocket. Why was he waiting? He didn’t have to put up with anything in his townhouse. Not for thirty minutes. Not for ten. Not even for one. It was his townhouse, after all. The one place he was supposed to be able to enjoy some peace. “Go home, Nate.”
His eyebrows rose in surprise as he sat in the chair across from him. “I’ve never seen you this upset. What’s going on? What did he say?”
“Apparently, when I told you to go home, I was wasting my breath.”
Nate waited for a minute then said, “We’ve been friends since childhood. If you can confide in anyone, it should be me.” When Perry didn’t respond, he added, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be hard on you. I shouldn’t have said you were soft on Christopher while you were his guardian.”
“But it’s true,” he grudgingly admitted. “I was soft.”
“What happened last night?”
If it’d been anyone but Nate, he wouldn’t have said anything. The whole ordeal was much too embarrassing. But it was Nate who asked, and the two had shared everything else that bothered them. If there was anyone he could trust, it was him. “All right, I’ll tell you, but it doesn’t go further than this room.”
“Of course not.”
“Christopher gave me this horrible book that he had absolutely no business giving me. This book supposedly has instructions on how I can,” he rolled his eyes, “satisfy my wife.”
“A book? Was this a book Lord Edon gave him?”
“I think it came from that rake. Only someone like him would have a book called How to Pleasure a Lady on his bookshelf.”
A few moments passed before Nate said, “It’s actually a good book.”
Perry turned his gaze in his friend’s direction, waiting for him to laugh and tell him he was joking. But his friend didn’t. Instead his friend looked alarmingly serious. “Are you telling me you really do have such a book?”
“I got it shortly after I got married and realized Claire was nervous about consummating the marriage. I wanted to ease her into it and asked Lord Edon for advice.”
“Oh, you didn’t!”
“If anyone knows how to make the bed pleasurable for a lady, it’s him.”
He grimaced. And he was friends with Christopher. There was no escaping him.
“Lord Edon gave me the book,” Nate continued, seeming oblivious to his friend’s discomfort. “It’s worth reading.”
“I can’t believe this. You’re actually agreeing with Christopher?”
“I didn’t know Christopher had the book. I figured he was too arrogant to think he was less than perfect in bed. He certainly would have everyone believe he’s perfect in every other way. Frankly, I’m surprised he’d admit such a thing to you.”
“Just how many gentlemen have this book?”
“I don’t know. Probably more than either of us imagine.”
Probably. But even so, it didn’t make him feel any better.
“Don’t be discouraged. We weren’t born with the kind of bodies ladies have. How can we possibly know what they’ll like or not like? It doesn’t take much for us to receive pleasure from the bed. Well, you know how it is since you’re married now. Come.” He stood up and walked over to him. “Let’s go to White’s. You can’t spend all day holed up in this room.”
“What if I want to?”
“I won’t let you.”
Perry thought about telling his friend to leave but realized the best thing he could do was stop feeling sorry for himself. “All right.” Grabbing his cane, he stood up. “A game of chess would do me good.”
“Unless I win.”
&
nbsp; Unable to stop the smirk that crossed his face, he said, “I don’t think you have a chance, but you can give it your best shot.”
“My lady, there is a gentleman here to see you. His name is Mister Leighton. He says he’s your brother.”
From where she sat in the drawing room, Paula lowered the book she’d been reading and turned to the butler who stood in the doorway. She knew Stewart would be coming by but had hoped he wouldn’t realize she’d returned from Gretna Green yet. She fought the wave of nausea that threatened to make her lunch come up. How she wished Perry had taken her directly to his country estate.
“Should I send him in?” the butler asked.
She hesitated to say yes but knew it’d be better to see him now, while Perry was at White’s. Reluctantly setting her book on the settee next to her, she rose to her feet and nodded. She clasped her hands together. This wasn’t going to be pleasant. But at least she wasn’t living in the same house with him anymore.
When Stewart entered, she forced herself to ask the butler to bring them tea and scones. As soon as he left, she gave her brother a look that demanded he hold his tongue until she was ready to talk. To her surprise, he sat in the chair across from the settee and leaned back, crossing his arms and ankles.
Releasing her breath, she slowly sat on the settee and glanced at her book. Actually, it was Perry’s book. It was about the rise and fall of the Roman Empire. She’d always wanted to read about it, but her brother wouldn’t let her, saying that she’d do better to learn how to paint or play pretty music.
They waited in an awkward silence as the butler set the tea and scones on the table between them.
“Please close the door on your way out,” she told the butler. She waited until the butler obeyed before she poured the tea, noting the way her hands shook. “All right, Stewart. We’re alone. What did you wish to discuss?” She held out his cup to him, determined to act braver than she felt.
He took the cup, his eyebrow raised. “You did fairly well for yourself.”
Clearing her throat, she picked up her cup and forced herself to drink some tea, ignoring the way it nearly burned her tongue. “Lord Clement is a good husband.”