by Cali MacKay
Fucking hell… He was actually kidnapping me.
“What the fuck are you doing, Finn?” I yanked on the door handle again and tried to unlock it, but it was pointless. I wasn’t going anywhere, and he damn well knew it. How long had he been planning this fucking thing? “Let me out of this fucking car.”
“Why? So you can go back to Ray and have him knock you around again? I don’t fucking think so.” His rage was white-hot, and it was clear he’d murder Ray given half the chance. “I just don’t fucking get it, Sky. You’re so fucking smart and capable. It boggles the mind as to why you’re putting up with Ray’s shit.”
“That’s none of your damned business. You always think everything is easy, when it’s not. It’s a complicated mess and you don’t know shit about my life. So turn this car the fuck around, and forget I ever existed. It’s the only way, Finn.” I hated the anguish and anger in my voice, but there was nothing I could do to hold it back. Not when my life was crumbling out from under me.
And I knew what Finn was like. He’d always been so determined—and that meant he’d keep hounding me until he wore me down, and I finally answered his questions. Yet I couldn’t when there was so much on the line. And though Finn might understand me trying to keep my brother safe, I didn’t think he’d ever understand me ratting someone out to the FBI, especially when his family had been involved in less than legal business ventures and lines of work.
Snitching to the Feds just wasn’t something you did—and though I had no doubt that Finn loved me, that could change everything.
And it wasn’t even the worst of my secrets.
Finn shook his head, shooting me a look. “As long as I love you, it is my business, even if you hate my guts. And maybe once you’re away from that controlling asshole, you’ll remember that we’d actually been good together.”
We had been. But that wasn’t the point.
I’d been left with no choice but to break things off with Finn, even though he was the only man I’d ever loved. I’d never gotten over him—and Ray knew it too, which was probably why he hated Finn so much. “We may have been good together, but it’s over now—and you need to accept that.”
Taking his eyes off the road, Finn looked at me, his eyes filled with disbelief. “I don’t know what sort of hold he has on you—but it ends now. Once and for all.”
I couldn’t help but scoff, shaking my head. My life was such a mess—and I knew Finn was just trying to help, but fuck…he was making things a million times worse. And I couldn’t even tell him the truth without him hating me. “You think you’re somehow saving me? Well, you’re not. You’re only making matters worse, damn it. You don’t know him like I do—and you don’t know what he’s capable of.”
“I know enough—which is exactly why there’s no fucking way I’m letting you stay with that bastard.” The moment we were on the opposite side of the city, Finn hopped on the highway, clearly trying to get us as far away as possible from Seattle.
“Finn…please. I know you’re trying to help me—and it’s damn sweet. But you need to turn this car around and take me back home. I’m begging you.” I hated that my voice cracked, but I was fighting a losing battle with my emotions.
“And that’s exactly why I have to do this. I need to keep you safe.” He reached over and cupped my cheek, brushing his thumb gently over my skin as I leaned into his touch, his eyes meeting mine for just a moment before turning back to the road. “Try to get some sleep, love. We still have a few hours’ drive ahead of us—and maybe once you’re well rested, you’ll see that this is all for the best.”
Hours?
“Where the hell are you taking me, Finn?” I had to try to find a way back home—and the sooner the better. Not that Finn could be persuaded when his stubbornness kicked in.
I’d known him all my life. He’d once been my best friend—and my lover. And though only a year had passed, it felt like a lifetime ago…back when I knew what it was like to be happy.
But now? Things were different, and the last thing I wanted was to drag Finn into my fucked-up life. It’s not that I thought Finn couldn’t take care of himself—it’s that Ray was a fucking crazy sadist with a bad temper and far too much power.
Because when I told Finn that this wasn’t a simple matter—I meant it.
“Turn this car around, Finn.” I grabbed his arm, pleading with him, even as I resisted the urge to strangle him. “Please.”
“I love you, Sky—and I’d lay the stars at your feet. But that’s not fucking happening.” His hands tightened on the steering wheel, driving us farther and farther away from Seattle and Ray, the city falling away behind us as we headed toward the mountains.
“So…what’s your plan? You’re just going to kidnap me and hold me hostage indefinitely? Have you even thought any of this through?” If I knew Finn, he’d simply gotten it in his head that he was going to “save me,” and that was all he could think of. Never mind that Ray and his thugs beat the crap out of him the last time he showed up and tried to take me away.
“I’m going to do whatever it takes to make you see sense—even if it means handcuffing you to my bed for the next month.” He looked over at me with a sultry smile, determination and humor in those hazel eyes of his. And damn, but my heart still ached for him, gorgeous as he was with that easy smile and those kind eyes.
And that was exactly why I had to push him away, before he got sucked into my living hell, with no escape but to leave in a body bag. I had to hold onto my anger, even if it’d be far too easy to give in to what would always be between us.
“You’d just love that. Wouldn’t you?” The mere thought of being bound to Finn’s bed and at his mercy had my body coming alive with a need I refused to acknowledge—not that I could ignore the ache of desire that racked my body.
He scoffed with a shake of his head. “Damn right I would—though you already know that—or do you need me to remind you just how much you enjoyed being at my mercy?”
“Don’t be a brat, Finn.” I refused to admit it, even if we both knew it was true.
Because no matter what happened, there was no denying what Finn meant to me—and would always mean to me. I supposed that was why he was so stubborn and wouldn’t listen to common sense. He didn’t care if he was putting his life on the line, because he loved me—and knew, even though I was pushing him away, that I loved him just as much. But the thought of him or my brother getting hurt was enough to have me panicking.
And yet, I knew that at the moment there was nothing else to say…nothing else to do. So I sat there in the dark of night with nothing but the glow of his console as he drove us farther and farther away…deeper and deeper into trouble…until sleep finally took me into its dark hold.
I didn’t know how long I was asleep for, but I awoke cradled in Finn’s muscular arms, with my head propped against his shoulder as he carried me through a home I didn’t recognize, finally putting me down on a large bed, lush and comfortable. “Where are we?”
“Someplace safe…where Ray will never find you. I’ll be back in just a minute. Just need to lock up and grab a few things.” He brushed the hair from my face and leaned forward to kiss my forehead, his touch immediately so familiar, despite our time apart. And though I could never tell him this, I’d never stopped loving him, even if I’d been forced to walk away from him.
He’d always hold my heart.
“He’ll still find me, Finn.” Yet my words were nothing more than a whisper, as he headed for the door and sleep took me in its hold once more.
It didn’t take me long to grab the bags I’d packed from the car and head back to the house. Luckily, my family had acquired a number of properties over the years—some in remote locations, and all of them listed under a variety of shell corporations my father used to keep our family and our holdings safe, since the line of work he’d been in came with its share of enemies and it was good to have places to escape to, if need be.
But this home, nestled in t
he mountains and woods, had always been my favorite, and I had plenty of fond memories of being here with my parents and brothers. Somehow, despite my father’s line of work, he and my mom had somehow managed to give us a normal childhood, and for that I was forever grateful—especially when seeing the problems Skylar had been forced to deal with.
And for now, this home, filled with memories, would serve my purpose perfectly. I’d just needed a place where Ray wouldn’t find us, so I’d have enough time to deal with Skylar, without any interruptions or distractions.
By the time I dropped our bags in a corner of the room, Skylar was already asleep once more. And fucking hell, she was the most gorgeous thing I’d ever seen, especially when she was sleeping peacefully, instead of being tormented by her demons.
Though I knew Ray was the biggest of her problems, I had to wonder if there was more going on—or if the abuse Ray had inflicted on her was even worse than I’d imagined. The thought of what the sick bastard might be putting her through was enough to make me want to hunt him down and put a bullet in that fucking skull of his.
I still couldn’t wrap my head around the fact that she was with this asshole. We’d been truly happy, so I didn’t understand it. Having her break up with me had come out of the blue, and when I’d tried to get her back, she had completely shut down, refusing to see me.
I knew that studies had shown that children of abuse often ended up in abusive situations as adults, but it didn’t feel like that simple an issue when it came to Skylar. And now? She had Ray, cutting her down every chance he got. So then why stay if she didn’t have to?
And I may have been pushing my luck by taking Skylar the way I had, but I just couldn’t stand it anymore. I was tired of letting her push me away and shut me out—and even more tired of watching her throw her life away and put herself in danger. I’d fucking had enough. And I wasn’t going to back down until I made her realize how fucked up her situation was.
Kidnapping her might seem a bit extreme, but hell…it had worked just fine for my brother, Ash, when it came to Wren. Their start had been even rockier—and yet he was now happily married to the only woman he’d ever loved, and they were starting a family. I’d never seen either of them look so happy.
My situation might be a little different than Ash’s, but Skylar and I had once been happy, before she walked away from me for no good reason. All I wanted now was for us to find happiness again.
I grabbed the extra blanket off the end of the bed and draped it over her body, before stripping down to my boxers and sidling up next to her, pulling her into my arms. She stirred, but she didn’t wake, which wasn’t really a surprise given that it was three in the morning. And though I was tired, I was still too wound up to sleep, though I was happy to just lay there with Skylar in my arms once more.
I wasn’t quite sure of the time, but the sun was gently streaming through the windows and Skylar was stirring in my arms. Unable to resist, I tightened my hold on her, loving how her curves fit perfectly against my body, her skin warm and soft, and smelling like a tropical sunrise. I couldn’t resist pulling her close and breathing her familiar scent in as I was hit with one memory after another of our time together.
I kissed her forehead, loving that I could wake up with her in my arms once more. “Morning, love… How did you sleep?”
“No… This can’t be happening, Finn.” Looking absolutely distraught, Skylar shook her head as if waking up to find that last night hadn’t been her imagination. “Please, Finn… He’ll be back at the house by now. He’ll know I’m gone.”
“Not only are you gone, Sky, but you’re never going back to him again.” I didn’t care how upset she got with me. There was no way I was taking her back. “And this goes well beyond the fact that I love you and want you back. This has to do with the fact that you’re scared of the man your living with.”
“That’s still not your decision to make.” She tried to shrug out of my arms, but there was no way I was letting her go. “We broke up. That means you don’t get a say in my life—and it doesn’t mean that you get to keep me here by force.”
“Then tell me you love Ray, and I’ll let you go.” Though I’d fucking lose my mind if she did.
Yet she refused to look at me—and she sure as shit didn’t say she loved him.
“Did you ever love him, Sky?” I needed to know why she’d broken things off… Not that her falling in love with Ray in my one-month absence would make me feel any better about her breaking up with me, even if it’d explain why she’d kept pushing me away. “Answer me, Sky. Did you ever love Ray?”
“No. I’ve never loved him. Is that what you needed to hear?” Her eyes slipped shut as tears slipped down her cheeks. “Yet what you fail to understand is that it doesn’t change a fucking thing.”
“It changes everything, love.”
Sitting up out of his arms, I tried to contain the pain in my heart, knowing that my feelings didn’t matter. Yet I was helpless to keep my tears from falling, as if confessing that I didn’t love Ray proved just how screwed up my life was.
Yet I was starting to think the fact that I didn’t love Ray only hurt Finn more—because I still refused to be with him. I suppose it made sense…as if he might be able to come to terms with me pushing him away if I was truly in love with another man…a man worthy of my love.
But I didn’t love Ray. I never had, and I never would. And he’d never be worthy of me. Frankly, after all Ray’d done to me, I hated him, even if he did love me, in his own sick and twisted way.
Not that any of it mattered. I was trapped by my circumstances, and being with Ray was the sacrifice I had to make—for now, anyway—though it’d all go to hell if I didn’t get back to Seattle.
“Sky…I just don’t get it then.” Finn looked at me with those hazel eyes of his, cupping my face in his hands as he dried my cheeks, looking far too worried about me even as I mourned what we once were and what we could have had together if Fate hadn’t fucked with me. “If you don’t love him, and you never did, then why stay with him? And why the fuck are you trying so hard to get back to him? What aren’t you telling me?”
A million and one things. Not that I could tell him any of it without him hating me and murdering Ray. And though I could try to live without Finn in my life, knowing he despised me would absolutely destroy me—and that’s exactly what would happen if he found out what happened.
“None of it is any of your business.” I knew it wasn’t the answer he was looking for, but I didn’t have any answers I could give him.
“It is my business if he’s the reason you fucking left me.” He all but growled out the words, and I couldn’t blame him for being angry with me. I knew I’d hurt him, just like I’d broken my own heart by walking away from him. But then his anger faded to hurt, and it nearly fucking killed me. “Did you ever love me, Sky? And please…don’t fucking lie to me.”
I knew that if I told him I didn’t love him, then he’d probably let me go and take me back to Seattle, but that was one lie I couldn’t tell. Instead, I nestled back in his arms, letting him hold me tight, my heart shattering into a million pieces. “You’re the only one I’ve ever loved, Finn…”
“Then that means there’s still hope for us.” He kissed the top of my head, his skin warm under my palm as I relaxed against him. “I don’t want you worrying about a thing.”
Yet what he was asking of me was impossible. And not because I didn’t want to be with him—I wanted that more than anything in the world. There were just too many things going down at the moment. Maybe six months or a year from now we’d stand a chance.
But not now.
And not if he ever found out what happened.
Yet as he held me close and ran a gentle hand down my back, I couldn’t help but run my fingers over his tattoos, the marks black and tribal, like he’d gotten them on some Polynesian island. His body felt all too familiar pressed up against mine, and I became all too aware of the fact that he was likely nake
d—or damn close to it—under the blankets, even if I was still in the sweats I’d been wearing last night when he kidnapped me.
Having him so close once again was stirring emotions and desires I’d be better off ignoring, leaving my body and mind at war with each other. I started to pull out of his arms, knowing it would be a mistake to take things further, but his hold on me tightened as he lowered his head to mine, his thick stubble rough against my cheeks as he stole a lingering kiss, his lips warm against mine.
“Skylar…please don’t push me away.” His hazel eyes searched my face, imploring me to give in to what had always been between us, and yet it was impossible for me not to think of Ray and what he’d do if he ever found out I’d been with anyone else—let alone Finn.
“You have no clue how dangerous this is…my being here with you.” As it was, I had no doubt Ray was already on a rampage—and probably had been since he got home and realized that I was gone.
He was usually out most nights, coming home in the early hours of the morning—which meant he’d already had a few hours to vent his anger on everyone and anyone dealing with him—my brother included. Because I had no doubt, he’d immediately find Matt and get whatever information he could out of him, and then he’d make him pay for my absence.
“Your family… He’ll go after them if he thinks I’m with you. And that’s exactly what he’ll assume since you’ve shown up before to try to get me to leave him. Please. At the very least call them and let them know.”
His family had always been so kind to me. And after my mother had passed away, it was his sweet Irish mom who did her best to show me some kindness and make sure everything was okay. This was the last thing they needed, especially when Finn’s father had been recently murdered. In fact, it was his death that had brought Finn back into my life, since I’d insisted on going to the funeral, even if it pissed Ray off—though he’d made sure I understood his disappointment with me.