by Cali MacKay
“But I broke things off before you could ask.” I was hit with a tsunami of emotions, wondering just how different my life might have been if my brother hadn’t gotten involved with Ray and his so-called businesses. I would likely have already gotten married to Finn, and we would have had our baby.
The thought had my eyes stinging with tears, as I once again mourned the loss of my unborn child, the pain like no other, my heart irreparably broken. Not a day went by that I didn’t think of that child and what might have been, and not a moment went by when I didn’t feel the pang in my heart and the guilt on my soul.
I suddenly needed to put some distance between us. But when I started to pull away from him, he grabbed my hips, his hold on me firm. “Please let me go, Finn.”
“Say you’ll wear the ring, Sky. There’s no one else you’re meant to be with, just like there could be no one else for me. No matter what our problems…no matter what’s haunting you…we’ll get through it—together.” He bent his head to mine and nuzzled me, his thick stubble rough against my cheek and his lips soft and warm against mine. “I love you, Skylar… You’re my everything—and I won’t quit on us. I’m never giving up…not until you’re mine and I can wake up with you in my arms every day—for the rest of our lives.”
I wanted to believe him…I wanted to believe that my involvement with the FBI and the loss of our child wouldn’t change the way he felt about me. Yet how could it not? Not that I had the courage to tell him, when I knew he’d hate me for it. So for now, I’d try to make the most of our time together, knowing that I might need it to sustain me in the days to come, in the days when life was nothing but shit.
“I’ll wear it.” I looked down at the gorgeous ring adorning my finger, the feel of it unfamiliar. The platinum band was carved with Celtic knot work, with a large emerald cut diamond in the middle, flanked by several smaller stones. It must have cost him a small fortune, especially since it appeared to be a one-of-a-kind piece, and I had no doubt he’d picked it up in Ireland just before I broke his heart. “I do love you, Finn… With all my heart. I just hope you won’t regret having me in your life.”
“Not in a million years.”
“Come on… Let’s head into town for a bit. We can pick up some supplies and grab dinner while we’re out.” Finn toweled off his damp hair, still wet from our shower, and wrapped an arm around my waist, pulling me to him and brushing my hair over my shoulder, so he could kiss the back of my neck.
“I guess it’s unlikely that Ray’s managed to figure out our location.” It was hard not to be just a little bit paranoid, yet the idea of heading into town for a bite sounded perfect.
“Not a chance in hell, love. This property isn’t even listed under the family name, so unless that asshole has tripled his IQ, he’s not going to find us here.”
I just hoped he was right.
The closest town was a good forty-five minutes away, but it had a large market and a good selection of restaurants. We decided on Thai, leaving the grocery shopping last in case we had perishables. But as I sat there in the restaurant across from Finn, it suddenly felt like I’d been transported back in time to when things were perfect between us, and I didn’t have secrets haunting me and a psychotic asshole on my tail. And though things were far from perfect, it finally felt like I could breathe easy once again, and just for now, leave my problems behind.
“The food’s so good, Finn.” It felt like Finn had ordered half the menu, though built like he was and with his metabolism, I had no doubt he’d polish off most of it. Everything from curry and pad Thai, to pineapple fried rice and a slew of appetizers…and it was all delicious.
“We used to come here when we were kids, staying at the cabin for summer vacation. We’d come into town to pick up supplies, and then it sort of became a tradition to come here for dinner, to give my parents a break from cooking.” He gave me a smile that chased away my demons, though there was a sudden sadness in his eyes. “I have to give my dad credit…he somehow managed to give us a normal childhood despite the reality of what he did for a living.”
I knew his dad had been some sort of fixer. If someone had a problem and could pay to have it fixed, Finn’s dad acted as the middleman, doing his best to persuade the problem to go away, either through generosity or less gentle persuasion. And yet, to meet the man…he’d never been anything but kind and good-natured, which made me think that he was probably damn good at finding a way to convince people to cooperate rather than use force. At least, that’s how I liked to think of him, since he’d always been so genuinely nice to me.
And now, he was gone.
I reached across the table and gave Finn’s hand a squeeze. “He was a good man, Finn. I’m just so sorry…”
My own father had passed away a few years ago, having drunk himself into an early grave when he decided to pick up more booze after he’d already had too much, and ended up wrapping his car around a telephone pole. He could have killed countless innocent people along the way, but he hadn’t given that a second thought. All he could think about was his next drink.
I shook my memories off, not wanting to dig up my painful past, when I already had so much to deal with.
Still holding onto my hand, Finn ran his thumb over my hand, and the ring that now encircled my finger. “He always liked you…he’d have loved to know we’re getting married.”
I wanted to argue with him, and tell him that there were still too many things standing in our way. But I couldn’t when I wanted nothing more than to marry Finn. I just hoped that it would one day be my reality, and that we could live the rest of our lives happy together.
A glimmer of hope ignited in my chest. Maybe I wasn’t giving Finn enough credit… Maybe he’d forgive me for putting our unborn child in such a dangerous situation. And yet how could he forgive me when our child was no more…when our child never had a chance?
“Finn…” I wanted to tell him. Needed to tell him. But the words stuck in my throat, refusing to be spoken.
“What is it, love?”
“It’s nothing.” Skylar waved away my concerns and managed a smile, though it was stiff and fake, and she was clearly lying to me.
There was something wrong, but I couldn’t figure out what was bothering her, and she obviously wasn’t going to tell me. Yet one thing was clear—it was messing with her emotions, and this went well beyond the mess her brother was in or Ray hunting her down.
Before I could press her on the matter, my phone buzzed and I knew it had to be one of my brothers, since this was a secure line and they were the only ones with the number. “Sorry, love. I need to take this.”
I was already digging the phone out of my pocket as I got up and started heading for the front door of the restaurant, not wanting to disturb any of the other diners. It was Locke. “Hey… What’s going on?”
“I know you want to stay out of Seattle, but Dane’s been doing his computer thing…been keeping an eye on anything that might involve you or Skylar. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but it looks like her brother might be in the hospital. I know that he’s her only family… And it’s looking pretty serious, man. She might want to come back to be with him.”
“Fuck. Thanks for letting me know.” She’d definitely want to go back, and there’d be no avoiding it. “Just make sure you guys are staying safe and vigilant. Ray Mitchell is fucking deranged and he’s on the warpath with Skylar gone. I’ll try to keep you updated, since there’s a good chance we’ll be heading back.”
I hung up and walked back into the restaurant, not bothering to sit down, which only made Skylar look even more nervous and anxious. And with all that she was going through emotionally, I hated delivering yet another blow, especially when she’d already been through so much. “We should get going.”
“What’s going on, Finn?” She looked over at me, worry in her eyes while sliding out of the booth as I threw a generous amount of money on the table to cover our bill.
I was already escorting
her toward the door and my car, dreading that I’d have to give her the bad news. I knew she’d blame me for it—and to a large extent she’d be right to do so, since it was unlikely this would’ve happened if I hadn’t kidnapped her. Once in the privacy of my vehicle, I turned to face her. “It’s your brother, love… He’s in the hospital.”
A heart-wrenching sob escaped her lips as I pulled her into my arms, my heart breaking for her. “I knew this would happen…I knew he’d go after Matt. We need to go back right now. And don’t you dare fucking argue with me and tell me that it’s not safe.”
“I had no intention of keeping you from visiting him.” How could I? Matt was the only family she had left, and though Locke hadn’t given me any of the details, it sounded like Matt was in rough shape and might not pull through. And if Skylar lost her brother, I know she’d never forgive me for it—and keeping her from him would only make things worse between us. “We’ll get on the road immediately—though you need to keep in mind that this is likely just Ray’s way of smoking you out.”
“I don’t fucking care, Finn.” She was so shaken up, her eyes welling up with tears as she grabbed my arm. And unfortunately, she had every right to assume her brother wasn’t doing well, and things were serious. “How bad is he?”
I pulled her into my arms and held her close, wishing things were different for her. “Honestly, I don’t know the full extent of the situation, but Locke said he’s in pretty rough shape. I’m not exactly sure if he had all the info, since it was my brother, Dane, who likely hacked into the hospital servers to get the information.”
Dane was my family’s computer guy, which had come in handy when trying to dig up dirt on people who needed to be persuaded on behalf of our clients. It was how, as fixers, we’d been able to keep things from getting violent. Because everyone had skeletons in their closet, and most would do just about anything to keep their secrets. Luckily, we were no longer in that line of work, though Dane’s skills still came in handy.
We hit the road, pausing only to quickly grab our things from the cabin, since it was on our way back to Seattle. That meant I had just a few hours to try to figure out a way to get Skylar in to see her brother, without Ray finding out about it. I knew she had to see her brother, but I just wasn’t sure how to keep her from putting herself in danger.
I looked over at her, worried that this might push her over the edge. Reaching over, I pulled her close, relieved when she nestled up against my side, my arm draped over her shoulder as I kept my other hand on the steering wheel. “You should try to get some sleep while you can, Sky…”
“How the hell am I supposed to do that when I don’t know how my brother is doing?” She let out a ragged breath, her voice cracking, full of emotion. “You don’t know what Ray’s like when he is angry…I do. And that means Matt’s in horrible shape.”
“He’s at the hospital receiving the best care possible, and he’s young and strong. He’ll pull through this, love.” At least I fucking well hoped so. “We just need to stay positive.”
Once we got closer to Seattle, I called Locke, who in turn called the rest of my brothers, since I knew I could count on them to provide backup—and yet it still might not be enough to keep Skylar safe. Not if Ray wanted to take her by force—which is exactly what he’d have to do. Because there was no way in hell I was letting anything happen to her.
Five out of my six brothers were waiting for us at the hospital entrance—Conor being the sixth, and currently living in Ireland. They said little, but joined us as we found out what room Matt was in, and then headed over to see him, my brothers keeping guard outside the room.
Fuck… He was in rough shape, his face swollen, battered and bruised, with tubes down his throat, while wires monitored his vitals and an IV delivered fluids and meds, bindings and bandages all over. But worst of all, he was still unconscious.
The nurse who was checking up on Matt gave us an update once she found out that Skylar was family. “He’s been in for a head CT, and though it looks clear and there are no bleeds, it may take some time for him to regain consciousness due to the trauma he sustained. I’ll be in periodically through the night and his doctor will be here in the morning.”
Skylar nodded, sinking against my side.
I’d never in all my life seen anyone look as bad as Matt did now. I tried to stay strong, but at that moment, I was so incredibly grateful to have Finn at my side, holding me in his strong arms. And when he pulled a chair up to Matt’s bedside and sat me in it, I went willingly, too emotionally distraught.
I knew this would happen when Finn took me from Ray. Yet the thought of going back to Ray after being with Finn once more… I just couldn’t bear to think of it. And right now, I needed to stay focused on Matt…needed to see him through this. Luckily I had Finn and his brothers on my side, and I knew they’d do all they could to keep Ray from getting his hands on me.
“He’ll pull through this, Sky. He has to.” Finn rested his hand on my shoulder, standing guard behind me, doing his best to reassure me that everything would be okay. And though I appreciated his optimism, it was hard for me to believe everything would be okay when Ray was still out there and Matt was unconscious, beaten to a pulp, his face practically unrecognizable. “He’s strong, and now that you’re here by his side, he’ll have all the more reason to get better.”
All I could do is nod at Finn’s words and take my brother’s hand, trying not to disturb his IV and other wires. But as the minutes slowly ticked by, I couldn’t keep my mind from wandering as I desperately tried to figure out a way to get us all out of this mess safely. The FBI…there had to be something they could do. I knew I hadn’t found them enough evidence to put Ray away, but maybe there was enough there to get them to issue a warrant. And if they managed to get access to his files, then they’d surely be able to find out more than I was able to—not that they’d been receptive to my suggestion, the last time I made it.
But things were different now that my brother was in the hospital. I’d just have to make a stronger case. I turned to Finn, not sure if he’d cooperate. “I need my phone back.”
He grabbed one of the chairs and pulled it up next to me, sitting down on the edge as he faced me, taking my hands in his. “Who are you going to call, Sky?”
“That’s none of your business.” I silently cursed him, trying to figure out if I could recall the phone number to my contact there. Not that Finn would let me out of his sight.
His brow furrowed as he looked at me, his gaze locking on mine, as if trying to figure out what the hell I was up to. “Sweetness… What’s going on? What aren’t you telling me?”
“Just give me my phone, Finn. You had no right to take it to begin with.” I glared at him, in no mood to be arguing over something that shouldn’t even be an issue.
“And if you have any hope of staying safe, then you need to trust me instead of keeping things from me.” He let out a weary sigh and took my hand in his, leaning toward me. “No matter what’s going on, you can talk to me. I want to be here for you, Sky… So for fuck’s sake, please don’t push me away.”
How the hell was I supposed to tell him I was working with the FBI and ratting out someone who was supposed to be able to trust me? And it didn’t matter that that person was Ray, nor did it matter that Ray was an abusive fuck. Given the line of work that Finn and his brothers had been previously involved in, ratting someone out was still ratting someone out. Not to mention that my relationship with Finn could easily pull the FBI’s attention in his direction.
“I don’t want to push you away, but like I said, things are complicated and they don’t involve you. I’m just doing what I have to so I can try to make everything right—and I don’t appreciate you getting in my way.” I pulled my hand away, feeling frustrated and trapped even though I knew he was only trying to help. But like I’d said from the start, I didn’t want to get him involved in my mess of a life. And the more he kept digging around, the more he would find out—and the
more he’d get into trouble. “Please… If you love me, you’ll just stop asking questions and let me do what needs to be done—and I can’t do that if you’re constantly standing in my way.”
“Or you can tell me what the hell’s going on.” His frustration with me was palpable. Not that it mattered. He could be frustrated and annoyed with me all he wanted, and it would still be better than him hating me.
“You know what? Just forget about it. Keep my damn phone.” I shifted in my seat to face my brother, my arms crossed in front of my chest as I ignored Finn and tried to let go of my pent-up anger, even if most of it wasn’t his fault.
“I’m just trying to fucking help, Sky.” He got to his feet and kissed the top of my head. “I’m going to go check in with my brothers. Do you need me to get you anything—other than your phone?”
I tossed him a sarcastic glare. “You’re so funny.”
He tipped my chin up and kissed my lips, my anger with him melting, especially when he gave me a sultry smile. “I try.”
And then he headed for the door, leaving me with my brother, my thoughts, and my guilt.
I pulled the door closed behind me, running a rough hand through my hair as I tried to sort out what the hell I was going to do about Skylar. She was keeping something from me, but I didn’t know what—and I didn’t have a clue as to how to get her to open up to me. It’s not as though it was a matter of trust—because I knew she trusted me. But what the hell was it then? I just didn’t get it.
“How’s her brother doing?” Ash pushed away from the wall he’d been leaning against, his mood somber and serious. Being back at the hospital after the attack on my dad…it wasn’t easy for any of us.