“Because I had the pleasure of chatting him up today.” I filled her in on my conversation with him and the realizations that I had come to. That not only was she done with him as a boyfriend, but we were both done with him as friends as well.
“You never know,” my eternal optimist sister said. “Maybe someday.”
“Maybe,” I echoed. But I wouldn’t be holding my breath.
“Do you know one of the things that’s been hardest for me?” she asked.
“What?”
“I wish I had known that our last time together was our last time together. I would have tried to . . . I don’t know. Enjoy it more. Appreciate it. But I guess you never really know when the last time is happening, do you?”
“Now I need M&M’s,” I told her, feeling depressed.
We walked together in silence before Ella offered, “I do have to tell you that I’m pretty impressed you apologized to Trent. That’s so out of character for you.”
“Right?” I agreed. “I thought it was very big of me.”
“What’s big of you, Chuck Norris?” I turned to see Jake standing behind me with that blinding, perfect smile, and I threw my arms around his neck. “Whoa, what’s going on?”
“I did what you said. I apologized to Trent, and he says we’re not friends and never were.”
Jake must have heard the pain in my voice as his arms tightened around me even more. “That’s not true. You guys were definitely friends. Do you know how much time I spent being jealous of that guy? Because you were always together.”
My heart skipped a beat at the idea that Jake had been jealous, but then sank again as I thought of all the time Trent and I used to spend together.
And despite Ella’s hope, I knew that he and I never would hang out again.
I turned to look for her, but she had disappeared, leaving us alone.
“I know just what to do to help you forget your conversation with that Goth jerk. We should get out of here,” Jake said.
“And go where?” Would it be to the hospital? The place I suspected he’d been sneaking off to, like he had the day I followed him?
“I hadn’t thought that far ahead yet. Maybe we can catch a movie? Something to take your mind off things for a couple of hours.”
It sounded good, but with all the school he’d been skipping lately, I didn’t want to add to it. “You’ve been missing a lot of school.”
“I wouldn’t say I’ve been missing it,” he teased. “What can I say? I have a serious case of senioritis. We’re graduating, and I’m passing, and we’ve been already been accepted to UCSC. There doesn’t seem much point in going to school all the time.”
What about me? Spending time with me in class? Walking down the hallway hand in hand? Eating our lunches together? Was I not worth coming to school for?
And how completely insecure would I sound if I asked him any of that?
As if he sensed my hesitation, he said, “Come on. I’ll even let you pick the movie.”
“Yes! Romantic comedy, here we come!”
He let out a fake groan, and I laughed as he put his arm around my shoulders. We walked toward the exit, and I thought of how much I loved this. Feeling like I belonged to him as he held me close and that he belonged to me.
He kissed my left temple, and I sagged against him. Just a little. “I can’t believe I agreed to go see a romantic comedy. I must really love you, Evander Holyfield.”
And for right here, right now, that was enough. I might have wanted (and not wanted) answers, but I would go, and I would be with the beautiful boy I loved and just let myself live in that moment.
I’d already had one ugly confrontation for the day. I wasn’t in the mood for another.
CHAPTER TWELVE
Jake and I sat together as closely as we could in the darkened movie theater. There were surprisingly quite a few people in there with us despite it being the middle of the day. I tried to concentrate on what was happening on the screen, but I couldn’t. If I had thought talking to Jake on the phone about what was going on in his life was too scary, it was about a thousand times worse in person.
All my fears seemed more real when I could see and touch what I’d be losing. And I didn’t want to lose him. I wanted us to get our happily ever after, just like in this Chase Covington movie we were watching. Outside of the casts of John Hughes’s films, Chase Covington was one of my all-time favorite actors, but not even his swooniness could distract me.
I glanced at Jake who, despite complaining about my choice the entire drive over, seemed really into the movie. I thought about what Ella had said. About how she’d wished she’d known that her last date with Trent was the last one. Because if this was my last date with Jake, I wanted to enjoy myself. And not stress myself into an early grave.
I decided I wouldn’t even let his annoying habits get to me. Like how he took big handfuls of popcorn and dropped most of them on the way to his mouth or how he flattened the end of the straw of our shared drink, making it impossible to get any liquid out.
Slipping my free hand into his, I resolved to just live in this moment with him so that if nothing else, at least we’d both have this happy memory to look back on.
I rested my head against his shoulder and sighed happily when I felt his cheek against my hair. “I love you, Jake.”
He kissed my scalp. “I love you too, Tills.”
It was amazing how much his words reassured and soothed me.
Even though I’d been anxious and missed most of the movie, it was still pretty easy to pick up on what was happening. What was it that Jake had said to me when he summarized the plot of the movie version of Pride and Prejudice? Oh, right. He likes her. She likes him. They find out. Pretty much the plot of this movie, too.
The story drew to an end, and I couldn’t help but sigh as the hero pulled the heroine in for one final kiss.
When the lights came back on, Jake asked, “That wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be. Do you want to go get some ice cream?”
“How are you still hungry?” I asked him. “You literally just ate an entire large tub of popcorn by yourself.”
He patted his stomach, and I tried not to think about all the delicious muscles I currently couldn’t see. “There’s always room for ice cream.”
“I think ice cream sounds great. Let’s go,” I agreed.
We walked hand in hand out of the theater. When we reached the sidewalk outside, Jake mentioned the name of a soft serve place about three blocks away. The weather was awesome, as always. Bright sun, soft breeze, the air smelled slightly of the ocean—our surroundings were all picturesque and perfect.
It couldn’t have been more romantic.
“You seem . . . a little off,” Jake said, kind of killing my vibe.
And I seemed off? That was very pot and kettle of him. I didn’t know quite how to respond as I was trying to make this a happy day.
“Are you worried about Trent and Ella?”
That was a safer area to venture into. “Yeah. She seems to be doing okay, despite Trent being a Cheater McCheatington.” We walked in silence for a few minutes as I wondered what had driven Trent to this. Why he’d made this choice. “Jake, you’re a guy.”
“Your powers of observation are especially keen today, for I am indeed a guy.”
“Then tell me, why did Trent do it? What makes a guy cheat, especially one who has a girlfriend as great as Ella?” Or as great as me?
“I can’t really say why that Night’s Watch wannabe does anything. I don’t know. Boredom? Fell out of love? He’s self-destructive and ruining all the good things in his life?”
Was it that I really wanted to know the reason for Trent’s behavior, or was it a preemptive strike so that I would understand it when I found out what Jake had been up to?
“I would go and beat him up for you, but you already took care of that.”
I nudged his shoulder with mine and couldn’t help but smile. “I kind of did, didn’t I?”
“And everybody knows about it.”
That made me come to a complete stop. “What do you mean everybody knows about it?”
Jake tugged on my hand to get me to start walking again. “People are talking about it at school. You know how fast stuff like this spreads.”
So Ella’s breakup and me punching Trent were making the rounds, but nobody was bothering to say anything to our faces. Lovely. “Not much we can do about that, I guess. And I think Ella’s sadness has less to do with Trent cheating and more to do with not having a date to prom.”
“There are a lot of guys who would ask her if they thought she would say yes.”
I didn’t doubt that. “But she wanted to go with someone she loves.”
Just like I did.
“At this point, I think her options are to either stay home, go solo, or go with someone she doesn’t love.”
“I know. She knows, too. And she can’t exactly stay home since she’s overseeing everything. She has to get dressed up and go. I feel bad that she’s in this position.”
His hand tightened on mine. “Me too.”
We arrived at the ice-cream shop and placed our orders—chocolate with M&M’s for me, vanilla and pieces of Oreo cookies for Jake. We didn’t have long to wait as we were the only customers, and we sat down at a table outside.
In an alternate dimension/perfect world, this was when I would have brought us up and asked him about my nonexistent promposal. (Although, realistically, in an alternate dimension/perfect world, Jake would have already asked me and wouldn’t be skulking around hospitals in the middle of the day.)
But as I studied our interlaced fingers on the table, I realized that this day was going just as I’d hoped. We were both relaxed, having fun, and enjoying each other.
While I told Jake about the manga series I hoped to complete—all based on characters from classic novels who I would manga-ize—Jake finished his ice cream. Then he reached over with his spoon to get a bite of mine.
I smacked his spoon with my own. “The last person who tried that pulled back a bloody stump.”
He cocked his head and smiled at me playfully. “I thought you weren’t a violent person.”
“Not normally. But unless you have a death wish, leave my chocolate alone. You’ve personally witnessed what I do to people who cross me. And that extends to boyfriends who try to steal my ice cream. It’s an unpardonable sin.”
He threw his head back and laughed, and ice-cream-covered butterflies tried to take wing in my stomach. I loved that he could still make me feel all fluttery with something as simple as his laugh.
“How about after you finish, we head back to my place?” Jake offered, a familiar, hungry gleam in his eye that made my insides excitedly twist into ribbons.
“We’re not going to watch football again, are we?”
“No.” He shook his head, that light in his eyes growing brighter and brighter, like two dark brown flames. “I can think of one or two other things we might do in my empty, empty house.”
That sent a shudder through me, and I didn’t know if it was from his words or the ice cream. I suspected it was all Jake. “I hope those things will be worth my time.”
I handed him my ice cream to finish off, eager to be on our way. He laughed at how my words didn’t match my actions. He got up, pulling me into his embrace. “Oh, it’ll be worth it. You’ll even like it. I promise.”
He was right.
I totally did.
I probably shouldn’t have made out with Jake until we’d talked everything through and I knew exactly where I stood with him and prom. But in my defense, he was super hot, I loved him, and he had magic lips. I was powerless to resist.
Wanting to talk things over with my sister, I tried to wait up for Ella when I got home that night. She was off doing some volunteer thingy. Petting babies and swaddling dogs. Something like that. But exhaustion overtook me, and I fell asleep in my school clothes. I had so many spinning plates that I had to make sure kept spinning, only they were all laden down with the pile of things I was worried about.
The next morning I drove with Jake. (Ella had already left.) I was excited to see her and tell her about my day date with Jake, until I realized that it might be painful for her to listen to me. It was probably better for me to keep quiet. I wondered how long it would be before I could tell her about my relationship without having to worry about hurting her.
And I wondered about how long my relationship might last.
Just after second period, I got a text from Ella.
COME TO THE FRONT OF THE SCHOOL RIGHT NOW!
THIS IS NOT A DRILL! REPEAT! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
A fizzy elation filled my entire body. Was this it? Was it finally happening? Had Jake come to his senses and was finally, finally going to give me my promposal? Why else would she be so excited and telling me to come out front?
This had to be it! I couldn’t believe it. My promposal! My heart thundered inside my chest as I raced to the front of the school, accidentally knocking people over (and apologizing for it) and generally causing a ruckus in the halls until I threw open the front doors.
I heard the sounds of trumpets being played. It was music like from a Renaissance fair. Which seemed odd. A big group of kids had gathered, and I heard a clicking, scraping noise. When I finally elbowed my way through the crowd, I saw a fully garbed knight, riding on a white horse toward the school. The horse’s hooves striking the asphalt was the noise I’d just heard.
Huh.
Why would Jake dress up in armor and get on a horse? That wasn’t really our thing. I mean, I guess it was sweet and romantic, just not what I’d been expecting.
“Fair Lady Ella!” a sophomore off to my left announced. He was in a costume that also had a strong Renaissance vibe to it. Billowy white tunic, a cloak that looked like it had been mended several times, and what looked a lot like brown tights/leggings.
It took me a second to realize he’d said Ella and not Mattie.
This wasn’t my promposal from Jake.
This was Ella’s promposal from whoever was on that horse. And the only thing I knew for sure? The guy most definitely was not Trent. Even if they were still together there was no way he’d make a fool of himself like this. Somebody else had gone to a lot of effort.
My sister deserved a guy who would ask her this way, just because it would make her happy.
Jake had been right. Not only about there being guys who would ask Ella if they knew she was single, but about how quickly the word about her breakup had spread. It had been only a couple of days since she’d officially ended things with Trent, and she already had a promposal.
“I am the knight’s loyal squire,” the kid in the patchy cloak said. “And Sir Deacon has fought his way through the classes of Malibu Prep, vanquished his foes on the field of football, and ridden a day and a night to make his way here. To ask you, fair Lady Ella, if you will allow him the great honor of escorting you to Ye Olde Prom. Make his dream come true and say yea, dear maiden!”
It was all so cheesy.
And if it had been for me, I would have broken out the tortilla chips to lap up all that yummy queso.
Deacon arrived then, taking off his helmet and handing it to his squire. All perfectly timed. He got down from the horse with some trouble, and I half expected him to fall over as he attempted to get clear of the animal. The squire got the horse to keep still by feeding him some carrots.
Then Deacon made his way over to my sister and knelt down, with some difficulty, his armor making all kinds of weird metallic squeaking noises as he got comfortable. “Ella, I know we don’t know each other that well, and you just got out of a relationship, but I’ve wanted to take you out for a long time and thought this was my big chance.”
It was sweet. I could see that his words affected my sister, too.
Deacon stood back up, with the same creaking noises, and offered his hand to Ella. She took it, and he led her around to the back of
the horse. There was a sign on the rear of the animal that said, “Ella, will you go to prom with me? Yea or neigh?”
Cute.
“I would love to go to prom with you, Deacon.” She smiled at him, and he hugged her gingerly, being careful with his armor.
Cue the cheers and applause that accompanied every public, successful promposal. I was sure that all anyone else saw was her smile. And that I was the only one who witnessed the tiny bit of pain in her eyes as she accepted.
The horse chose that moment to take, um, use the facilities. Deacon and Ella backed up as several people made grossed out sounds. The poop happening right next to Deacon’s “yea or neigh” sign felt like a cosmic message meant for me.
My promposal hopes had, once again, been crapped on.
But I was happy for Ella. She officially had a date. I didn’t think that Ella knew Deacon all that well, but he seemed nice, and Jake had always spoken highly of him. I was sure she would have fun, and now she wouldn’t have to feel like a third wheel. She had a very cute boy to have a good time with.
“I thought Ella was going with that Trent guy.”
I turned to see Mindi standing a step behind me, wearing a very confused expression. How could she not know Ella’s relationship was kaput? As I’d walked through the halls today it was literally all people were gossiping about. “Trent and Ella broke up. Everybody’s talking about it.”
“Really? I hadn’t heard.”
Mindi’s crowd included some of the biggest gossips I’d ever met. How could she have not heard a single word of it?
And it dawned on me that she didn’t know because of how wrapped up she was in Victor Herboyfriend.
Much as I must have been with Jake, just like Trent had accused me of.
I decided to be better. To do better. To not be so focused solely on my relationship that I didn’t see things happening around me. To pay more attention to other people. I glanced at Mindi. Even the ones who annoyed me.
Ella gave Deacon her contact info on his phone and handed it back to him. He grinned at her, and his enthusiasm was kind of contagious. You could tell how excited he was, even if he was trying to play it cool.
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