by Lila Moore
“I know. I had the same thought. It’s my word versus hers. The cops would probably side with the hot model.”
“Exactly. It’s best we just stick to the official story: it was all an accident.”
I sat down the bed and stared at my phone. “I should call Chick.”
“Do you think he’ll tell Sledge?”
“He’s dying to.”
“Pig.”
“He just can’t stand keeping a secret from his friend. Chick’s a good guy. He’s not a liar, like me.”
“Don’t be hard on yourself. You were forced into this.”
“I still feel guilty.”
“Things can’t get much worse.”
My phone rang. The caller ID said Unknown.
“Hello?” I answered.
“Oh my God, she answered!” the voice on the other end said.
“Hello? Who is this?”
“Bobbi Ellis?”
“Yeah.”
“Holy shit. Holy shit. So, how far along are you?”
“Who is this?”
“Um, just a friend… So, is it a boy or a girl?”
“I’m hanging up now.”
“Wait! Who’s the father? It’s Sledge, right? The timeline doesn’t fit for Harley. It has to be Sledge.”
I hung up the phone and tossed it across the room like it was contaminated.
“Who was that? What happened?” Astrid asked.
“You want to know how things can get worse? Take a look at this.”
I sat down at her computer and brought up the hockey message board. Svetlana’s broken leg was breaking news. It was pinned at the top of the board along with a post that said: ‘Bobby Ellis: What we know so far.’
“What the hell is this?” Astrid asked. “Who are these people?”
“Hockey fans. They’re obsessed with hockey gossip. Somehow they found out about the fight last night. They know my name and that Chick shouted I was pregnant. They’re all freaking out.”
“This is crazy. Are they stalking you?”
“Basically. The person who just called sounded exactly like one of them. Now that they have my number things will only get worse.”
I refreshed the page and a new topic popped up. It read: ‘Bobby’s phone number!’
“See, look,” I said.
“You’re going to have to change your number.”
“What if my parents see this?”
“Let them. Who cares how they react? It’s your life. You can’t make decisions based on what will or won’t make your dad happy. You’re dad’s a world class asshole anyway. You need to do what’s right for you.”
I chewed on my lip and thought it over. I knew Astrid was right, but I’d spent my whole life doing what my father said. I was always the good girl-up until I got pregnant, anyway. My dad had gotten inside my head. I couldn’t stop thinking about how he’d react to all this.
There was a loud knock at the door. We both jumped.
“Oh God, I hope Svetlana’s not back for round two,” I said.
“I hope she is. You can finish her off. That bitch should be running scared of you.”
I rolled my eyes, but secretly I was flattered. I went to the peephole.
“It’s Chick.”
When I opened the door he smiled a big, toothless grin.
“Hey, Bobbi. What’s the emergency?” I glared at him. “What? Did I do something?” His big eyes looked hurt. He hated disappointing anyone.
“You told Sledge I was pregnant.”
He scratched his shaved head. “It came out wrong. I meant to say he shouldn’t do that to you because you’re a new mother.”
“Shh!”
The hallway was empty, but the walls were paper thin. Anyone could be listening in. I grabbed his arm and pulled him inside the room. He smiled at Astrid. She gave him a funny look and a little wave.
“You can’t talk about this ever. That was the deal. You promised me, Chick.”
“It just doesn’t feel right. Sledge is one of my best friends. I don’t like lying to him,” he replied.
“You’re not lying. You’re just… minding your own business. It’s not your place to expose the truth. It could hurt a lot of people-most of all, Sledge. You don’t want to hurt your best friend, do you?”
“No, but…”
“Trust me. This is for the best. I care a lot about Sledge too-more than you know-and I would never do anything to hurt him. You believe that don’t you?”
“Yeah, but this is different.”
“If you want to be Sledge’s friend, then you need to help me help him. The way you do that is by letting me handle the situation. It needs to play out on my terms, okay? I mean, this doesn’t just effect Sledge this also has a huge impact on my life.”
“Yeah, I guess. I don’t want either one of you to get hurt. When Sledge accidentally hit you, I was scared you were injured that’s why I blurted out you were pregnant. I’m so stupid.”
“You’re not stupid. You just care too much. That’s rare these days. I appreciate it.”
It was true. Chick was a genuinely compassionate person. Manipulating him to stay quiet made me feel like shit. What choice did I have though? I had to protect Sledge, myself and the baby.
Sledge would want the baby back if he discovered the truth. It would be heartbreaking for his adoptive family if he was taken away. Of course, it may not even be possible to get him back at this point. Sledge would discover he had a son only to learn he could never be a part of his life. It was a mess of epic proportions.
I pulled him into a hug. “Thanks, Chick. You’re a good friend.”
“Promise me you’ll tell Sledge the truth.”
“I promise,” I said automatically. The thought of revealing the truth made my stomach twist into knots. It felt impossible.
“There is nothing hidden that won’t come to light,” he said.
It sounded like a quote from our old pastor back home. I nodded and smiled.
“The truth shall set you free,” he said.
Out of the corner of my eye I could see Astrid roll her eyes.
“Of course,” I said. “Thanks for coming.”
I pushed him out the door before he could sermonize any further. I collapsed against the door. I couldn’t handle anymore today. I fell onto the bed and read some gossip about Svetlana’s broken leg. It didn’t take long for the internet sleuths to discover I lived in the dorm in which Svetlana’s ‘accident’ happened.
Immediately, they started to speculate. Eerily, a few of them came up with the exact scenario. They figured Svetlana had tried to confront me, a fight broke out that escalated and she wound up at the bottom the stairs.
Beyond that, there were a lot of people speculating on what Sledge and I would name our baby. Heartbreakingly, I never got to name my baby. I knew my parents would force me to give him up for adoption, so I didn’t let myself think about names. I knew it would make it harder to let him go. Turns out, it was hard anyway.
Not naming him and been another in a growing lists of regrets. Even if I had named him I’m sure his adoptive parents would have picked a new name for him, but someday I might meet him again. If and when that day comes, I’d like to be able to look him in the eye and say I loved him, and to me he would always be the squirming, red-faced bundle I held in my arms, named…
Except that I didn’t have a name to fill in that blank. He would hate me. He would think his mother cared so little for him that she didn’t even bother naming him. Would he ever know the truth? When they took him away a knife was plunged into my heart. It was a wound that would never heal.
The message board comments became repetitive. I tossed my phone onto my desk and tried to study. I was too distracted though. I wished I had my pills. They silenced the noise in my life and let me focus on the task at hand. Knowing they were gone for good made my skin itch.
I glanced at Astrid. She was still intently reading internet gossip.
I’d have to
schedule a doctor’s appointment to get a new prescription as soon as possible. I was going to go out of my mind if I didn’t get my pills back. This mess was too much for one person to bear. I told myself I’d take my pills until the trouble passed then I’d quit. I had no idea when that time would come. Soon hopefully.
I read a few pages of my chemistry book then closed it. I was too distracted to study. I spent the rest of the evening cleaning and watching TV. Sledge didn’t call. I wasn’t sure what to make of that. Was he at Svetlana’s bedside? What if she sweet-talked him into believing she was a victim and I was a monster?
Time lurched by slowly. By eleven o’clock I’d given up on Sledge calling. I decided to go to bed. I didn’t sleep. All night I tossed and turned. Once I drifted off for a few minutes only to be woken by the sound of a baby crying. I was sure the sound was real, but cold reality soon set in: I’d never hear a baby cry again. My baby was gone forever.
I kicked my legs and tossed and turned. I was dying for a pill. I’d be dead asleep by now if I only had one. I’d been a fool to take what was left of the bottle. Now I was in withdrawal Hell.
I was already awake when my alarm went off. I considered skipping classes for the day, then changed my mind. I couldn’t stand being confined within the walls of my tiny dorm any longer. I took a hot shower, grabbed my things and headed out the door as quickly as I could.
I stopped and picked up a Bubble Tea then took my time walking around campus. The leaves were orange and the campus was alive with the chatter of students walking around, or lounging on the grass talking. There was something about the moment that felt special. For a rare moment, my head cleared. Nothing mattered. It was a perfect winter day.
I thought about joining the students on the grass playing Frisbee. It would be nice to talk to people who didn’t know me. Maybe I could make up a new identity. I could be a girl that people thought was fun, a girl who didn’t carry the weight of a devastating secret. Would they like me if I was someone else? I doubted they’d like the real me.
I watched them play for a while then headed off to class. The professor’s words faded into the background. I sketched images in my notebook instead of taking notes. I’m normally a good student, but sometimes life weighs too heavily on you. I couldn’t pay attention.
Class ended and I wandered around campus in a daze. When I came to my dorm, I was surprised to see a crowd of people out front along with a camera crew. This was not good. It had to be related to Svetlana. What if the truth had been uncovered? What if Svetlana lied to the police, telling them I’d tried to kill her?
I kept my head down and pushed my way through the people. As I approached the entrance a security guard stopped me.
“Do you live here?”
“Yeah.”
“ID?”
I pulled out my driver’s license and my dorm ID. He looked at it then let me inside.
“What’s going on?” I asked.
“Extra security precautions. There’s a criminal investigation under way.”
I swallowed hard and walked through the lobby. There were no students waiting around. Yellow police tape covered the entrance to the stairs. I rode the elevator up in a state of dread. I barely got my key in the door when Astrid threw it open, grabbed me and pulled me inside.
“What’s going on?” I said.
“Cops are everywhere. Apparently, there’s a criminal investigation into Svetlana’s accident.”
“Shit. Do you think she gave them my name?”
“I have no idea. I suspect not. The cops haven’t been by here.”
“So why are they investigating? I’m sure Svetlana would have told them my name. She wouldn’t hesitate to frame me.”
Astrid shrugged. “We need to lay low.”
“Yeah.”
I pulled out my cell phone and called Sledge. It rang then went to voicemail. I hung up and tried again. When he didn’t answer, I left a message.
“Sledge, it’s me. Call me as soon as you get this.”
I tapped my nails on my phone. “Why hasn’t he called me? Something’s wrong.”
I tried calling Chick. He didn’t answer either. Out of options, I turned to his online fans. They always had dirt on what was going on. I pulled up the message board to find a breaking news post.
‘Sledge Arrested!’
I clicked on the link. It said Sledge was arrested on suspicion of pushing Svetlana down a flight of stairs. He’d been suspended from the team pending the results of the police investigation. Sources claimed that Svetlana was devastated.
‘She loves Sledge madly. It broke her heart to admit the truth, but she had no choice.’
The post went on to describe how she told the police they got into a fight and he pushed her down the stairs. She discovered he was sleeping with a girl living in the dorm. She went to confront him and he lost his temper.
The post quoted a tabloid as saying: ‘His temper is notorious. It’s no surprise he unleashed Hell on his girlfriend.’
“That lying bitch!”
“What?” Astrid said. “What did she do?”
“She told the cops Sledge pushed her down the stairs.”
“I knew she’d find a way to play the victim.”
“I have to go to the police and tell them everything.”
“No, wait. They’ll arrest you. Sledge is rich. I’m sure he’s got good lawyers. I’m sure they’ll figure this out.”
“What if they don’t? Don’t you see? I’ve done everything I can to protect him. He could lose it all now. I can’t watch him lose everything after I’ve come this far.”
Before she could stop me, I ran out of our room. A police officer was standing in front of the stairway exit. He put a hand up stopping me.
“This is a crime scene, miss. You can’t go in there. The elevator is down the hall to your right.”
“I was here when it happened. I saw it all. Sledge had nothing to do with it.”
“You’re a witness?”
I was more than a witness. It was my punch that sent her falling down the stairs.
“Yeah,” I said with a shrug.
The cop radioed for another officer. The stairway door behind him opened. The police must have been collecting evidence.
“You’re a witness?” the detective asked.
“Yeah. Svetlana was here visiting me. She thinks I’m pregnant. She managed to talk my RA into letting her into my room, then she attacked me. She dragged me to the stairs. She was about to throw me down them when I managed to break free.”
I left Astrid out of it. I didn’t know what would happen next. Would they arrest me? I didn’t want Astrid to get into trouble too.
“I hit her,” I continued. “She stumbled back and fell down the stairs. I didn’t push her. I just wanted to break free. It was self-defense.”
“Whoa, whoa… slow down. Where was Sledge in all this?”
“He wasn’t here. He knew nothing about it. Check the security cameras. They’ll show that I’m telling the truth.”
I prayed that there were cameras in the hall to back up my story.
“There aren’t any functioning cameras on this floor,” he said.
“What about the lobby?”
“We’re looking into it.”
“They’ll show that Sledge was never here.”
“We’ll see. Where is your RA? I want to speak to him.”
“He lives down there.”
I pointed to his room. The cop walked over and knocked on his door. When my RA answered his eyes were as wide as an owl’s.
“Yes, officer?” His voice cracked like a boy going through puberty.
“Where were you yesterday afternoon?”
His eyes darted to me. “I was in class.”
“Did you witness anything in this hallway?”
“No.”
“Did you let a female into this young woman’s dorm?”
“No, officer.”
“He’s lying!” I screamed.
The officer held up his hand, silencing me. “Did you see an altercation on the stairs?”
“I didn’t see anything,” he replied.
I glared at him. Then I remembered how I’d threatened him yesterday. I’d made him promise not to tell anyone what he’d seen or I’d get him expelled. I needed him to tell the truth now, but I couldn’t fault him for honoring our original agreement. He probably thought I’d get him into trouble. He was only trying to save himself. I’d probably do the same in his position. Still, I glared at him.
“Alright,” the officer said, walking away.
“Wait, that’s it? You’re not going to question him further? He’s lying.”
“I know he’s lying.”
“You do?”
“I’ve been doing this a long time, young lady. I can tell when some dumb kid is lying to me.”
“Then you know I’m telling you the truth.” He abruptly stopped and turned to face me. “You have to believe me,” I said. “Svetlana is making this up to punish Sledge.”
“Because you’re sleeping with her boyfriend?”
“No. I’m not sleeping with him.” He cocked an eyebrow. Clearly, he thought I was lying to him. “We used to date in high school, but we broke up. It doesn’t matter. She thinks we’re having an affair, that’s why she’s doing this.”
The officer turned to leave. I stepped in front of him. “I’m not going to leave you alone until you believe me.”
“Fine. That’s how you want it?” He pulled out his handcuffs and said: “Turn around.”
“What are you doing?”
“I’m taking you into custody. You’re being charged with obstructing a criminal investigation into an attempted murder.”
“Attempted murder? Are you nuts?”
Calling a police officer nuts is not the wisest thing to do. To put it mildly. He slapped the cuffs on my wrist tightly then ordered an officer to take me downtown.
“But…” I protested futilely.
I was only trying to do the right thing. I was trying to save Sledge.
“Behave yourself,” the officer said as he led me out of the building.
The crowd went nuts when they saw a girl being led out in handcuffs. They took video and pictures with their phones. Strangely, they also cheered. My arrest excited them. My face was going to be all over the internet. I was fucked.