Once the door slammed shut, Riley walked over and collapsed on the sofa. All the blinds were closed; he hadn’t been outside or seen the sun in days. With his head thrown back, he knew something had to give. Right now, he was every bit as mentally blocked as he had been before he’d met Savannah.
And she wasn’t talking to him.
With a sigh, he called the only person he could think of who he really wanted to talk to.
His father.
“Riley!” Ian said as a greeting. “How are you? Any new music to send my way yet?”
“Almost, Dad.”
“Good, good. I hope it’s soon.”
“How’s the house coming?”
“It’s done. I’m telling you it is amazing what can happen when you have the right people on the job.”
Riley chuckled. “Aidan runs a tight ship, that’s for sure.”
“Yeah, but he wasn’t here for a lot of it. All the subcontractors were quality guys. Everything fell into place, we didn’t hit any snags, and now that it’s done, I can’t even remember what the house looked like before.”
“You’ll have to send me some pictures.”
“You got it,” Ian said. “Or you and Savannah could come back and see it in person. I know it’s a lot to fly across country and all, but if you’re almost done with the album, maybe you could take a long weekend and come for a visit. You tell me when and I’ll make sure everyone’s here for dinner.”
The thought made Riley smile, but it quickly faded. “I…” He cleared his throat. “I’m not sure I can swing it any time soon. I’m under some pressure to finish the album. I’ve only got one song left to do and… I can’t seem to do it.”
“Why not? Seemed to me like you finally had a breakthrough and you had the music coming to you faster than you could write it down. Surely you’ve got enough material left over for one more song? What does Savannah think?”
“She thinks I’m a royal jackass and she’s not speaking to me,” Riley said honestly, and the pain that squeezed his heart at admitting it out loud almost brought tears to his eyes.
“I see,” Ian said softly. “What happened?”
Riley told him the whole sordid story—including how he realized he was wrong but she wasn’t taking his calls. “There’s no music in me without her,” he said quietly. “She took it all with her.”
Ian was quiet for several long minutes. “You stopped singing for about a year after your mom died, do you remember that?”
“There wasn’t any reason to sing.”
“Nonsense, there are always reasons to sing, even if they’re sad ones.”
“Maybe for some people, but not me.”
“Stop pouting, Riley,” Ian snapped with a hint of humor. “I think you could as easily have been an actor as you were a singer.”
“What exactly does that mean?”
“You’re dramatic! For crying out loud, when you were little you would sing at the drop of a hat. It didn’t matter what was going on—one time, you broke into a rendition of ‘We Will Rock You’ in church because the sermon was boring you and you thought the acoustics were good in the sanctuary! Another time we were out to dinner and you decided to stand on your chair and sing ‘Don’t Stop Believing’ because you thought the waitress looked sad. And don’t even get me started on all the times you sang in the grocery store because you knew it made Gladys the cashier smile. You’re just telling yourself you can’t sing.”
“I can sing, Dad,” Riley corrected. “I can’t write a damn song. There’s a difference.”
“Why do you have to write a song? I’m sure Mick or somebody can get you a song to sing or sing someone else’s song. People do that all the time.”
Did nobody get it? “I don’t want to sing someone else’s song! This is my damn solo album and I want to prove I can write the whole thing on my own!”
“Prove to whom?” Ian asked.
“Everyone!”
“Ah…see? Dramatic.”
“What…? How…?”
“You want to do it so when it’s done you can say ‘See? Look at me, everyone, and love me because I wrote all my songs.’ Goody for you.”
Riley looked at the phone and wondered if someone had abducted his father because this person he was talking to was nothing like the father he grew up with. “Thanks for the sarcasm.”
“Oh, I’m being completely honest,” Ian said. “Riley, I’ve learned a lot of things in the past several years. And I’m honest enough to say it’s taken me that long to start seeing things for how they really are.” He paused. “I wasn’t a very good father to you kids and I wasn’t a very good husband to your mother.”
“Dad, are you crazy?” Riley yelled. “What’s gotten into you?”
“When you kids were little, I worked all the time. And when I was home, I wasn’t really there.”
“You’re not making any sense. You were always there! Seriously, you’re remembering things wrong.”
“No, I’m not, Son. You are.”
“Dad—”
“I worked long hours because I thought that’s what I needed to do. Everyone told me your mother and I were crazy for having so many kids, that we were going to end up broke and living in a trailer somewhere. I was determined to prove them all wrong.”
“You were providing for your family,” Riley said. “There’s nothing wrong with that.”
“Riley, I worked sixty hours a week. I had a good job that provided for us even if I only worked forty. I took the extra hours because I was afraid someone would think less of me. That if something happened and we fell on hard times, I’d be the one to take the blame.” He sighed. “I missed out on all that time with you kids and with your mom. She was the one who worked so hard to make everything good for all of you, and I was the guy who was too worried about what other people thought that I missed out on a life with my family.”
Well, damn. “I don’t know what to say to that,” Riley admitted.
“Say you’ll learn from your old man. If there’s a song you want on the album, it shouldn’t matter who wrote it. If there’s a song in your heart that means something to you, you should sing it.”
“That’s what Savannah said.”
“She’s a smart girl,” Ian said. “I knew I liked her.”
“Yeah, she was smart enough to walk away from an idiot like me.”
“Seems to me you pushed.”
“In the moment? I couldn’t think clearly. The damn documentary—”
“Wouldn’t have done a damn thing for your career. The only one still talking about that thing is you. Do you still see it on TV?”
“Well…no.”
“Anyone still bring it up in the papers or magazines?”
“No.”
“Is Mick or anyone at your label pissed off because you weren’t on it?”
“No.”
“Then move on, Son. Everyone else has.”
“I don’t know if I can move on without Savannah. I miss her so much.”
“Things have always come kind of easily to you. I see it in your brothers, too. But your career has been particularly easy for you. Most of us have to work at things.” He chuckled. “Work a little, Son. It’s good for the soul.”
Riley wasn’t so sure he agreed, but he did know that this version of his father was pretty damn cool to talk to.
Chapter 11
Robyn turned to Martha and asked, “Do you think we’ll meet any celebrities?”
“I’m not sure, but I think we should be prepared just in case.”
Paul Daly and Ian Shaughnessy stood back and looked at the women like they were crazy. “I don’t know about you, Ian, but I feel like I’m in the middle of an I Love Lucy episode. I think we’re going to have to watch those two.”
“I’m exhausted already,” Ia
n said, “and we just got here.”
“Glad you guys finally made it,” Riley said, walking across the hotel lobby toward the four of them. “How were your flights?”
“Good,” Ian said. “Everyone else should be down in a little bit. They’re all so excited to be here, and it was very nice of you to send the private plane. Zoe was particularly appreciative.”
“Well, I know her doctor wasn’t thrilled with her flying and Aidan mentioned how she’s been uncomfortable lately so I thought this would help.”
“Still, I know it’s a big expense.”
Riley waved him off. “The guys at the label are so giddy about the fast track things are on that I can pretty much ask for anything I want at the moment.”
“Don’t let it go to your head,” Paul said, shaking Riley’s hand. “But we certainly did appreciate the effort.”
“Like I said, it was my pleasure.” Riley looked around and spotted his family all stepping off the elevators. He looked at his father. “We’re quite the large group nowadays.”
Ian nodded. “And I love it.” Turning, he took Connor from Hugh’s arms. “There’s my buddy!” He kissed the baby on the cheek as everyone stepped forward to say hello to Riley.
“You are officially my favorite Shaughnessy,” Zoe said as she walked over and kissed him on the cheek.
“Hey!” Aidan cried.
“Oh, hush. Thanks to your brother I got to fly across the country while sitting in a recliner eating chocolate-covered popcorn.” She looked at Riley again. “I love you.”
“Chocolate-covered…?” Riley began.
“Don’t ask,” Aidan said and shook Riley’s hand. “I’ve watched her eat stuff most people wouldn’t eat on a dare.”
Zoe smiled serenely and rubbed her swollen belly. “It’s not my fault that your baby has some weird cravings.”
“Let’s hope they end when the pregnancy does.”
“Do you know what you’re having?” Riley asked. “Any chance of it being a boy who you want to name after your now-favorite Shaughnessy?”
“Nice try,” Zoe said and patted his cheek. “But we want to be surprised.”
“Damn, you’re no fun.”
“I think our table’s ready,” Martha called out to the bunch, and they all followed her into the hotel restaurant and took their seats.
“So our baby brother is singing at the Hollywood Bowl,” Hugh said. “I’m seriously impressed.”
All around him, everyone seemed to be talking at once. They were excited to be there with him and were talking about the things they wanted to see while they were in L.A. Riley was as happy as they were to be able to share this event with them, but he also couldn’t help missing Savannah.
Eight weeks.
It had been eight long weeks since he’d seen her and every day it seemed to get worse. He’d finished the album and met all of his commitments, but he was still kicking himself for not going after her sooner. No doubt she’d decided he wasn’t worth it and had moved on to someone else.
Mick told him she was no longer writing for Tommy Vaughn, but he didn’t want to seem creepy and ask where she was working. He drew the line at being a stalker.
For now.
Beside him, Owen leaned closer. “You okay?” he asked.
Riley turned his head and gave a half smile. “I guess.”
“You nervous about tomorrow night?”
“No. I’m more than ready for it. I know things are happening way faster than they normally do, but I don’t think I could handle waiting any more. The band I’ve assembled are a bunch of great guys and they’re as pumped as I am to get things going.”
Owen nodded. “Do you miss her?”
“Always.” Riley knew exactly who his twin was referring to.
“Did you invite her to the show?”
“Mick sent over a ticket and VIP pass to get her backstage, but she never responded.”
“I’m sorry, Riley. I really thought the two of you were right for one another.”
“Me too, bro. When I pictured this day? Like the whole finishing the album and concert thing? I always pictured Savannah being beside me. It feels wrong that she’s not here.”
“So go and talk to her,” Owen said simply, like it was a no-brainer. “Why wait any longer?”
“Because I don’t know what to say. I’ve tried calling and, as selfish as it sounds, I need to focus on getting ready for the show. I need my head to be in the game. I’ll be in rehearsals tonight and most of the day tomorrow. There isn’t time.”
“I can go and talk to her for you.”
And in that moment, Riley knew he was the luckiest man alive. Not only had his entire family flown in to be here to support him, but his socially awkward brother—who was prone to breaking out in hives when forced to speak to members of the opposite sex—was willing to break out of his comfort zone for his sake.
Yeah. He was definitely lucky.
“No. I want you and everyone to take some time today to do what you want.”
“It’s raining,” Owen said. “So that leaves out some of the sightseeing everyone was talking about. Although I don’t see what the big deal is about seeing where Bradley Cooper lives. It’s not like he’s going to invite us in.”
“He’s a pretty cool guy. I could probably arrange it.”
Owen grimaced. “Please don’t. I know Aubrey and Darcy would love it, but I don’t think I could handle being around them after that.”
Riley chuckled. “What about Zoe and Anna? Don’t they want to know where he lives?”
Owen shook his head. “No, they were more interested in some guy with a lot of gray suits. I didn’t understand why they’d want to meet someone so bland.”
That made Riley laugh harder. “Bro, don’t worry. I’ve got your back. No actors. No gray suits.”
“Thanks.”
The remainder of lunch was as chaotic as any family meal back home, and Riley loved every minute of it. By the time they were done and the check paid, he wasn’t sure what everyone’s plans for the rest of the day were. “I need to get over to the Bowl and rehearse. What’s everyone doing?”
“What happens if it rains, Riley?” Anna asked.
“From what I understand, there’s a long-standing Bowl tradition which says the ‘show must go on,’ so there are no rained-out concerts and no rain checks issued. Unless the weather is dangerous, I’m singing. I’d invest in some ponchos if I were you, just to play it safe.”
“Well, that stinks,” Anna pouted. “But I guess I can understand. We’ll have to keep our fingers crossed that the weather clears up.”
Riley nodded. “The forecast is clear for tomorrow so I’m not too worried. So what are you planning for the rest of today? Finding a map to the stars’ homes?”
Everyone laughed. “Not if I can help it,” Quinn said. “I don’t mind doing some sightseeing, but I’m not stalking any celebrities.”
“Thank goodness.” Owen sighed.
“You know, you’ve got two drivers at your disposal. If you want to drive around and see stuff, you can tell them. They’re familiar with everything in this town. It’s up to you.”
“That’s very generous of you, Riley,” Ian said. “But don’t worry about us. You go and get to your rehearsal, and we’ll see you tomorrow.”
He frowned. “I wish everyone could have stayed with me. I kind of feel bad that you’re having to stay at a hotel.”
“Oh, yeah,” Darcy chimed in. “It’s a real hardship staying at a five-star luxury hotel in Hollywood and having room service to cater to our every whim.” She sighed. “Whereas if we stayed with you we’d be cooking and cleaning up after ourselves. Seriously, Riley, we’re all very grateful to be here. Don’t give it another thought.”
“Such a brat,” he teased and then gave her a loud smacking ki
ss on the cheek. “Okay, then. I guess you’re all in good hands and I’ll see you at the show tomorrow night. If you need anything, you have Mick’s and my numbers.”
“For crying out loud, go, Riley,” Aidan said. “We’re all fine.”
He did a final round of good-byes before turning and walking out of the restaurant. It took him a minute to realize Owen was walking with him. When they hit the lobby, Riley stopped. “What’s up?”
“I meant what I said back there before we ate. I’ll go talk to Savannah if you’d like.”
Emotion overwhelmed him and he grabbed his twin in a fierce embrace. “You are the best brother a guy could ever ask for,” he whispered and then stepped back. “But the time’s not right. Maybe after the media circus dies down I’ll call her, but I don’t think I should see her right now. I can’t give her the kind of attention she deserves. Right now my life is full of chaos and it’s only going to get worse after tomorrow night. It wouldn’t be fair to her.”
“You don’t know that. For all you know, she might enjoy the chaos.”
Riley smiled. “She might. But I’m barely holding on by a thread here. I need to do this with no distractions.” He paused. “But thank you.”
Owen frowned. “For what? You didn’t let me do anything.”
Riley reached out and squeezed Owen’s shoulder. “Believe me, you did more than anyone else. I’ll see you tomorrow night.”
This time when he turned to walk away, no one followed. And when he stepped outside, Riley noticed the rain had stopped. It was going to make rehearsal a lot more pleasant. His driver pulled up, and as the valet stepped forward to open the door, Riley saw him pause and look up. Following the direction of his gaze, Riley looked up and smiled.
A rainbow.
And with a renewed sense of excitement, he climbed into the car and felt lighter than he had in a long time.
He knew his mom was smiling down on him and everything was going to be okay.
* * *
“Eating healthy is way too much effort,” Savannah grumbled as she lined up the vegetables she’d just purchased and was getting ready to chop. “Burgers and fries come in a bag, ready to eat. So much easier.”
This Is Our Song Page 26