“Better?”
Matisse stretched his neck from side to side. “Much.”
A nurse came in a moment later, took a look at the neck brace, and sighed. But she didn’t insist he wear it. Instead, she asked him if he wanted to take a shower.
“Please,” Tisse answered. “It feels like I have rocks in my underwear.”
“You’re not wearing underwear,” the nurse said. She wrapped Matisse’s casts in plastic and helped him stand. “This is going to hurt.”
Apollo went to them, ready to offer assistance if his friend tripped or faltered. But Matisse gritted his teeth, and even though sweat broke out across his forehead, he didn’t make a sound.
Following them into the bathroom, he watched every pained step his friend made. He kept his arms outstretched, but he didn’t need him.
When he turned… Matisse’s lip was white where his teeth bit into the skin. “I’m good.”
Apollo got it. He didn’t want company. He wanted to get in the shower so the water drowned out whatever sound it was he was keeping locked behind his lips.
“Okay. I’m outside if you need me.”
The nurse showed him how to work the shower, and then they left him, giving him the space he needed.
Apollo thought the nurse would leave, but she didn’t. Quickly she changed the sheets on the bed. They were bloodstained. Dirty. It drove home the fact that Matisse had open wounds on his body. A body that had skittered across the pavement.
Like Nora’s had.
Once the new sheets were on, the nurse took notes, changed the IV, and all the while, Apollo stood with his arms crossed, listening to the shower.
He could easily imagine what Matisse was going through, but at the same time, he hoped he wasn’t. It was a horrible accident, but an accident. And Apollo didn’t blame Matisse.
None of them did.
Hell, Nora wouldn’t.
But there were some things that were pure feeling and couldn’t be reasoned away.
The shower shut off. Dropping his arms, Apollo pushed off the wall. Once at the door, he knocked. “You okay, man?”
“Yeah,” Matisse answered.
But he was lying.
16
Apollo
10 years old
It was the last day of school, and Apollo jumped off the bus. His backpack was heavy. It had everything from his desk, and his teacher let all the kids take their markers and crayons and notebooks.
Then she’d given them sidewalk chalk and extra bouncy balls and told them to spend some time outside.
Apollo’s heart was happy. His dad was home, and even though Mom was still sleeping a lot, Dad seemed to understand. He didn’t push, and he didn’t yell.
Sure, he sighed, and sometimes he rolled his eyes, but he wasn’t being mean. It was more like he and Apollo shared a secret, and they had to go easy on Mom.
Tonight, they were going to the IMAX theater to watch Spiderman. It was a reward for the end of the year and Apollo’s report card. He’d snuck a peek at it on the bus, so he knew Dad would be proud.
And he hadn’t been absent once, not even when he stayed with Grandma while he waited for Dad to come back from the Army.
“I’m home!” he yelled as he burst through the door.
The house was quiet, and groceries were sitting in front of the refrigerator. Apollo dropped his bag and started to put the stuff away. It was better if he did it now, than for Dad to come home and see it. Mom just got forgetful.
The yogurt and cheese and chicken nuggets were still cold, so it couldn’t have been sitting here too long. This was good. He wouldn’t have to bury the ice cream at the bottom of the garbage or deal with any stinky meat.
Once everything was put away, he went into the living room. The windows were wide open, and a warm breeze rustled the curtains.
“Mom!”
No one answered. She was probably in her room, so he went upstairs, creeping just in case she was sleeping. A quick peek through the doorway confirmed his guess. There she was, comforter up to her ear so only the top of her hair was visible. It looked like the fuzz on the baby chicks his class had hatched, blonde and spiky.
He went back downstairs, grabbed a bag of goldfish, and turned on the TV. A few hours later, he was still there when his dad got home.
“Hey, little man!” Dad greeted him happily. He was still in his uniform, but he tossed his hat on a chair and immediately unzipped his coat. “Hot out there!”
“Are we still going to the movies?” Apollo got on his knees.
“Yup. Where’s Mom?”
His show came back on, and he got distracted. “Sleeping.”
“Okay.” Dad nudged him as he walked by and went upstairs. In a few seconds, he could hear his parents. Mom’s voice rose, but Dad’s voice was only a quiet rumble. Apollo was glad Dad wasn’t getting mad anymore. It had kind of switched in the last couple weeks.
Mom was prickly. She didn’t cry or apologize. He didn’t mind it very much. At least she replied. There was nothing worse than those months where he’d talk to her and she looked right through him.
The conversation cut off and the shower started to run. In no time, Dad was back, wearing civilian clothes. “Ready?”
“Mom’s not coming?” he asked, following Dad to the kitchen.
“No, she’s tired,” Dad said. “We’re going to go out for dinner, and then we’re going to the movies, and if we’re not too tired and sugared up, we’ll get ice cream.”
Apollo hurried out the door behind him, pumping his fist in the air.
“Wait.” Dad stopped and spun around. “Where’s your report card?”
He froze. Where was it? Backpack! Whirling around, he started to the backdoor. His bag was right where he left it, and he dumped it, shaking all the papers loose.
Once he spied the brown envelope, he grabbed it and rushed outside again. “Got it!”
Dad took it, watching him with raised eyebrows as he opened it. Then he glanced down. “Mmhm.” He shook his head and tsked under his breath.
Was it that bad? He’d done his homework.
Dad peered up at him and winked. “Just kidding. Nice job! I’m proud of you!” Then he slung his arm around Apollo’s neck and walked with him to the truck.
The entire evening turned out to be just as awesome. They went out to dinner and ate cheeseburgers, then Dad took him to the drug store, and they bought as many bags of candy as they could fit in their pockets. Sure, the candy rustled every step they took, but his dad wasn’t worried.
And they still got sodas inside.
By the time they got out of the movie, got ice cream, and started the drive from Providence all the way home, Apollo struggled to keep his eyes open.
“Come on, buddy,” Dad said. “You’re too big for me to carry.”
Yawning hugely, he grabbed his sweatshirt and slid out of the truck. His legs were heavy, and he couldn’t wait to go to bed, but inside, he was happy. This had been the best day.
17
Cai
It had been almost a week since the accident, and in that time, Nora’s condition had been upgraded from serious to stable, though they didn’t want to wake her up quite yet. Something about the CT scan and her spleen. Cai didn’t understand all of it, but what he didn’t get, Apollo did.
They were all allowed in her room now, except when the doctors did rounds or when the nurses needed to change her dressings or adjust something.
Cai touched her nose, running his finger down the bridge. Her skin was so soft, and it reassured him to touch her. More so than the constant beep of the heart monitor or even the rise and fall of her chest. Her skin under his fingers was what he needed.
“Hey, guys,” Marie said as she walked into the room. “We’re going to wheel her out for the CT, so I need you to vamonos.”
Cai wanted to kiss her, but he was worried about germs. His hands were clean; they were all pretty obsessive about sanitizing when they visited.
Matisse got
up from his seat, moving slowly and awkwardly into the hall.
His arm was in a plastic cast now. Cai had gone with him when they’d done it. They’d given him a choice of colors, and he’d picked purple, for Nora, along with green and gold. It looked horrible, but he said those were their colors… a weird homage to Mardi Gras.
So whatever. If that was what Matisse wanted…
“Can I go with her?” Apollo asked.
Marie shook her head. “Sorry. It gets tight.”
They tromped out of the room but lingered at the end of the hall. It took a lot of people to move her, only solidifying the seriousness of the entire thing. Not that Cai needed to be reminded. Every blip on the screen and Nora’s continued silence drove that home.
As her bed disappeared down the hall, Matisse sighed and limped toward one of the chairs in the waiting room. He eased into it, wincing.
“Maybe you should go home for a while.”
His skin was pale, and beneath his clothes he was covered in road rash along his arms, hip, and side. It had to be torture to be covered in denim and cotton, no matter how soft it was.
“I’m good,” he replied.
“Just for a few hours,” Ryan agreed.
“I said I’m good,” Matisse spat, then he shook his head. “Sorry.”
Seok rested his elbows on his knees, bending his neck until he could lace his fingers behind his head.
“You okay?” Cai asked, sitting in the vinyl chair next to him. Seok nodded, still staring at the floor before he dropped his hands and leaned back.
“Have any of you thought of how we’re going to pay for this?” he asked.
Pay for… It had been the dead last thing on his mind. But they’d figure out a way. It wasn’t like the hospital was going to kick her out.
“My family will,” Matisse said. “It’s my fault she’s hurt. My dad’s lawyer has been in touch with insurance.”
“What about the drunk guy?” Cai asked.
Matisse shrugged and then swore. “Motherfucker! Son of a bitch!”
The elevator opened as the last words left his mouth and an older woman, made up perfectly with styled hair and huge pearls, walked off. She startled and narrowed her eyes at Matisse.
“Sorry, ma’am,” he said, but she sped up and click-clacked down the hall. “I’m sure they’ll go after him, but who knows if he has insurance, or any money. My family has plenty. Dad already assured me it would all be taken care of.”
Cai let out a breath. He hadn’t thought to be worried about it, but at Seok’s question, his anxiety had spiked. The quick drop-off left him shaken and a little nauseated.
“Are they sure?” Seok asked. “Because this could easily run into hundreds of thousands of dollars.”
“They’ve got it,” Matisse repeated.
“Are you sure? Because if I need to—”
“No.” Matisse was decisive. “You don’t need to ask anyone else. My parents have plenty of money, and no doubt the insurance will cover anything they pay for out of pocket. It’s how it goes when you’re rich.”
Cai snorted, but his friend didn’t seem assured. Seok stood and paced the room. “And if she needs rehab? Or care?”
“What are you talking about?” Matisse asked.
“He means, what if Nora’s not able to take care of herself after she wakes up,” Apollo said, staring at the ground.
His anxiety shot from his stomach to his head, and he thought he might actually puke. “Is it looking like that?” He stared at Apollo, like he had the answers.
“I doubt it,” Apollo said. “I think she’ll need physical therapy. I’ve already been in touch with my professors, and they’ve given me a list of good therapists down here. And back in Vermont, when we get there. It might take her a while, but we’ll help.”
Seok leaned against the wall, glaring in a way Cai had never seen before. It was like he was looking right through them. “We get her everything she needs,” he said. “No matter what.”
“Of course,” Cai answered. He’d sell one of his kidneys if that’s what it took. “We’re all on the same page, Seok.”
His friend ran his hands through his hair and shoved it back from his face. “Okay,” he answered and let out a breath. “Okay.”
18
Ryan
The nurses and doctors came back with good news. Nora’s spleen was healing. She wouldn’t need surgery.
And they were ready to start waking her up.
It would be slow, and the doctors told them she probably wouldn’t wake up herself. No Snow White reenactment happening. She could be agitated, completely unlike the girl they knew.
But they were hopeful that as time passed, their Nora would emerge.
“When can we start?” he asked and mentally rolled his eyes at himself. It wasn’t like he had a medical degree and could start calling out directives.
“Already have,” Marie said. “We’re tapering off the drugs keeping her asleep. I’d guess in a few hours we should see her eyes.”
Ryan let out the breath he’d held for the last week. “Okay.”
“We can stay?” Apollo asked, and Marie nodded.
“For now. If we need you to skedaddle, then we’ll tell you. If you want to get out, now’s the time to do it. I’d bet that as soon as she wakes up, none of you will want to go anywhere.”
She had that right. Marie left and they stared at each other, a little punchy. “She’s going to wake up,” Matisse repeated. His eyes filled with tears, and he quickly blinked to clear them. “Thank God.”
Ryan seconded the sentiment. He walked to the bed and took her hand. “We’re here, Nora. Whenever you’re ready to open those eyes, we’re here.”
He couldn’t wait. She was too still, too motionless. She was their girl in all the physical ways, but seeing her without all of the spark and animation that made her her was wrong.
Wake up. He squeezed her hand gently, willing for her to open her eyes, even though he knew it was too early. Wake up. Be okay. Talk to me. He made a hundred mental demands, but her eyes stayed closed.
He could do this; he could be patient.
19
Apollo
It was dark when Nora finally opened her eyes. Like Marie had said, it had taken hours.
Apollo sat next to her. Ryan, Matisse, Seok and Cai had all staked out a space, but he’d gotten prime real estate right at the side of her bed. He had his hand resting on hers while he talked with the other guys, but for the most part, his gaze had remained on her face, looking for any sign of change.
She made a noise first, a pained, animal-like noise. It was low in her throat, and everyone had jumped. Ryan hit the call button, and the night nurse, a man named Brant, had rushed in.
“Can I get in?” he asked, and Apollo unwillingly moved aside.
“Nora, you’re in the hospital. You’re okay. Your family is here.” Brant checked her lines, watched the monitors, and waited.
Her eyes opened, gaze unfocused and bloodshot. It was just a second. Just a glimpse of her light brown eyes, and then they closed again.
Apollo waited, hoping she’d open them again, fix them on him, and maybe start talking. Or smile.
But she didn’t. She went right back to sleep.
“Is that it?” Cai asked.
“It’ll happen more often,” Brant said. “Keep talking to her. It’ll help.” And with that, he left.
They crowded around her bed, standing shoulder to shoulder. Staring down at her, Apollo suddenly imagined what it would be like for her waking up. All of them looming over her.
He sat in the chair and leaned forward. “Hey, baby girl. When you’re ready to wake up, we’re here.” Her eyes opened again, and he leaned forward. “It’s okay. We’re here. You’re okay.”
Nora’s eyes opened a little wider, studying the room, but she didn’t seem to see any of it. Her gaze locked with his, but Apollo couldn’t see any awareness in it.
She tried to move, lifting a hand t
o her face. The nurses had put a nasal cannula on her, and she reached for it, grabbing the tubes and pulling with her good hand.
“Leave that there,” he told her, leaning forward to keep it in place, but she pushed him away.
Nora moaned, her eyes closing again as she began to flail.
“What’s happening?” Matisse asked.
Apollo didn’t know. He knew there was the possibility she would wake up agitated, but he honestly hadn’t expected it. It was so unlike Nora. She was fiery, yes, but she was the sweetest woman he’d ever come across.
Brant hurried in. “All right, guys, step out if you don’t mind.”
“What are you going to do?” Ryan asked, not moving.
“Just get her calmed down a little,” he answered.
Some of the monitors started beeping, and Brant repeated himself, this time a little more forcefully. “Guys. You take up a lot of space. I need you to step out, please.”
The last thing he wanted to do was move, but Apollo touched Ryan’s shoulder. “Come on. Let him work.”
“Apollo!”
He’d gotten to the hall when she said his name. Her voice was raspy and wild, but it was her. He spun, pushing past his friends and Brant to get to her side.
She saw him, and though she hadn’t calmed, she held her good hand out to him. “Apollo. Apollo.”
His heart clenched as he grabbed her hand and leaned over her. “I’m here, baby girl. I’m here.”
“Need you…” Next to her, the beeping on the monitor slowed. Her eyes closed, but she still held his hand. “Don’t…” Whatever else she would have said died off as she fell asleep again.
Brant moved confidently around her, fixing the pulse oximeter and straightening her IV tubes and the nasal cannula. “Whew. That was exciting.”
Apollo found himself slumping against the bed, and nearby, the guys gave nervous laughs. “That was normal?” Ryan asked.
Finding Strength (The Searchers Book 5) Page 8