by I. T. Lucas
Accepting defeat without a fight wasn't something she was capable of—even over a losing battle like her relationship with Gregg. She should've ended it long before it had fizzled and died on its own. But not willing to admit failure, she had kept fighting for it when it would've been smarter to let him go.
It wasn't the same, though. In this case, the end was beyond her control. But what she did in the interim wasn't. Pulling her resolve around her like a suit of armor, she made up her mind to be grateful for whatever she could have with Kian and not succumb to despair over what was not to be.
Still, it was easier said than done.
With another sigh, she gently extracted herself from Kian's embrace. After wiggling out of her pants, she tiptoed bare-assed to the bathroom, washed up, then soaked some washcloths in warm water for Kian.
Sleeping like a dead man, he didn't stir as she wiped the sticky residue from his groin. Though true to form, her ministrations got him instantly hard.
Yep, Superman indeed. Syssi chuckled.
After tossing the washcloths in the laundry bin, she returned to the bed and snuggled back into Kian's arms.
His striking face was peaceful in sleep, and she realized that when awake, he had always looked strained. Poor baby, shouldering the weight of the world, literally.
Stroking his cheek, she felt her heart overflow with love, and unexpectedly, a sense of gratitude. It was a strange emotion to have after the bit of naughty they'd played. And yet, it was how she felt. Grateful for the incredible pleasure—for the freedom to experience things with him without the fear of ridicule or rejection.
In the few days they had known each other, he'd never criticized her, had never implied she was anything less than perfect in his eyes.
Kian accepted all of her the way she was. Even her little kink…
Syssi smiled as the gleam from her cuff caught her eye. Kian was pretty kinky himself. The obvious thrill he had gotten from locking the thing on her wrist gave her an inkling to his own twisted desires. She'll have to pry them out of him—curious to see what tickled his fancy.
Confident in the reassuring safety of his care… or was it his love? She was willing to try new things.
Except, how long did she have?
Closing her eyes, she tried to hold back the tears, but her imaginary coat of armor was crumbling under the onslaught of the dark shadows cast by the reality of their situation.
If she still believed in a benevolent God, she would have prayed reverently for a fairytale ending to their story; her turning immortal, the two of them spending eternity together… raising children…
The whole happily-ever-after thing.
But after her brother's death, she had lost her faith in happy endings. If there was a real deity somewhere, it didn't listen to prayers or care about the individual parts of the multitudes of its creation.
Chaos ruled, and bad things happened to good people all the time. At any moment, all of this could be taken away from her, without even the memories to sustain her.
Then again, maybe it was a blessing in disguise.
If she didn't remember any of it, she wouldn't have to live with the pain of losing it. Except, what was worse? Never to know what she was privileged to experience, or remember and mourn its loss?
Feeling Kian's gentle finger wipe away the traitorous tear caught in her lashes, her lids fluttered open.
“What's the matter, baby?” he asked, then kissed her eyelids. “Was it too much? I thought you liked it…” He frowned, looking apprehensive.
“No, it's not that. I did like it…” Embarrassed, she felt her face heat up. “It's just that I don't want us to end…” she whispered, and a few more tears escaped despite her valiant effort to hold them back.
“We will not…” Kian pulled her tightly against his chest. “If you don't turn, I'll just chain you naked to my bed and keep you as my sex slave forever.” He kissed her forehead, stroking her back in small soothing circles.
She chuckled. “You'd like that, wouldn't you?”
“We'll figure something out. I don't think I could let you go, no matter what.” He sighed and bent his head to kiss her lips.
“Even if I stay on as your sex slave…” Syssi smiled a sad little smile. “The cold reality is that I’ll grow old while you won’t. And that's the biggest obstacle in this wishful fantasy. As much as I hate to admit it, you were right. If I don't turn, you'll have to let me go.”
His eyes were so sad, she knew she was going to flay him with what she was compelled to say next. “I just wish you could leave me my memories, so I could relive our time together in my mind and know that I lived to experience something wonderful and treasure it forever… despite how torturous knowing I had this and lost it will surely be.”
“Oh, baby.” He choked as he held her close—his pain echoing hers. “All we can do is hope. I know hope is for fools and children, but I have nothing else.
“I know… neither do I.” She kissed his chest through his T-shirt, a few more tears wetting the soft fabric. And yet, there was comfort to be had in the knowledge that he was just as pained by their dim prospects as she was. Which in turn, as absurd as the notion was, made her want to be strong enough for both of them.
The irony, of an almost twenty-five-year-old mortal thinking she could shore up an almost two-thousand-year-old super-being, wasn't lost on her. Nevertheless, she went on to imagine her armor snapping back into place—this time extending over Kian as well.
With a big brave smile plastered on her face, she kissed his warm lips. “Well, I for one am done moping around. There is no point in lamenting that which cannot be changed. We just have to take it one day at a time. Right?” She glanced down at her watch. “Anyway, I need to get back to work, it's late.”
“What time is it?” Kian asked.
“It's ten past four.”
“Oh, damn, I have a meeting scheduled for four-thirty.”
“I need to go too. Amanda must be wondering why I'm not back yet.” Syssi scooted off the bed and grabbed her pants off the floor, then pulled them on. “Ugh, yak! My panties are wet!” She pulled them back down. “Can I borrow a pair of yours? I hate wearing jeans with no underwear. Too rough on my sensitive girl parts…” She waggled her brows.
“Sure, I'll trade you a clean pair of mine for yours.” His tone promised something wicked was to follow. “I'm going to carry your sweet-smelling panties in my pocket, and whenever I miss you, I'll take sniffs of your essence.”
Syssi laughed. “You're a pervert, you know that? Catch!” She threw her panties at his face.
“Ah, Syssi…” Kian caught the little scrap of satin and lace and crushed it to his nose, taking a loud sniff. “Delicious…” He sniffed again, taunting her while she ran into his closet to get a pair of his boxer briefs.
“You should really get your stuff back in here. It's kind of pointless to leave it at Amanda's when you keep ending up here anyway.” He stuffed her panties in his back pocket.
“I will. Now give me back my undies, I need to put them in the wash.” She extended her arm.
“Ah, ah, ah… a deal is a deal. I'm keeping them.” He pulled her in for a scorching kiss.
Coming up for air, she said, “I thought you needed to be somewhere…”
“Yeah, how unfortunate…” He let her pull out from his arms. “You'll be at Amanda's?”
“Yes, and if you miss me, you can call me on this brand-new, wonderful phone I got instead of sniffing my panties…” Syssi pulled out the device from her pocket, caressing its sleek surface. “Precious…” she whispered coarsely like Smeagol from Lord of the Rings.
“Let's go, Smeagol.” Kian tussled her hair. Outside Amanda's door, he kissed her hard before letting her go. “I'll see you later.”
CHAPTER 8: SYSSI
“Lucy! I'm home!” Syssi called as she opened the door.
Rushing out of the kitchen and waving her hands in a damn good imitation of the legendary Lucy, Amanda ch
irped, “Oh, Ricky, darling!”
The woman was a born actress.
“Sorry I took so long, I'll get to work right away.”
“Rubbish, it's not important. Come, talk to me. Tell me what you've been up to. You should have been done with Bridget hours ago.” Amanda dragged her by the hand to sit beside her on the couch. “I see that Kian cuffed you.” She lifted Syssi's forearm to examine the cuff.
“Yeah, I have access to the elevators now, and so does Michael. Now both of us can spy on you guys and uncover all of your dirty little secrets.”
“Very funny… So, what else have you been up to, besides having your blood drawn and getting… cuffed…”
“Kian asked me out on a date for tomorrow night. He wants to take me to this very posh restaurant…” Syssi was pretty sure Amanda was a member, but just in case, she skirted around the name of the place.
“He's taking you to By Invitation Only? That's wonderful!” Amanda squeezed Syssi in her arms as if she had just delivered the best of news.
“That's the one… but why are you so excited?”
“How could I not? It's the first time that I know of, that is, Kian has asked anyone on a date! I'm going to have to drink to that. Margarita?” She walked up to the bar.
“Yeah, why not, bring it on…” A drink actually sounded wonderful.
“How is it possible he has never done that before? What about all the women he shagged?”
“You've seen me in action. Would you call what I do dating?” Amanda handed her the drink and took a sip of her own.
“No, I guess not… So that's all you guys do? Pick up random strangers for hookups?”
“Yep, told you it sucks… The sex is okay, though, most of the time…” Amanda grimaced.
“I couldn't have lived that way. Now I understand what Kian meant when he said he hated it.” Syssi took a big sip of the cold drink.
“Hey, we need to go shopping!” Amanda's eyes lit up with excitement. “I'm thinking a whole morning of girl fun. We'll go for a facial. A manicure and pedicure are an absolute must, then the hair salon complete with professional makeup. And then… Ta! Da! Rodeo Drive!”
“I can't afford all that!” Syssi laughed at Amanda's enthusiasm.
Dismissing Syssi's monetary concerns, Amanda waved her hand. “Don't be silly. I'm going to charge it all to Kian's card.”
“You can't do that! I don't want him spending a small fortune on clothes I'll use for only one night. Where will I wear stuff like this? Starbucks?”
“He doesn't care about the money. You know he can afford it. But he cares about you, and you're not going to be selfish and refuse. You're going to let him do this small thing for you, just to make him happy. Capisce?” Amanda arched her well-defined dark brow and took another sip from her drink.
That shut Syssi up, effectively making any further arguments seem petty. She realized Amanda was right. Kian had made it clear that it would please him to pamper her.
So why was she still making waves about it?
Was it pride?
To some extent… But mostly it was about who she was and what she believed in. Spending obscene amounts on clothes or shoes seemed vain and frivolous to her. Still, she had to consider that what seemed obscene to her was perfectly reasonable to Kian and Amanda. And if she wanted to hang out with them at places like that fancy restaurant, she had to fit in with the rest of their rich friends.
“Okay, you won…,” she conceded.
“Yay! I'm so happy!” Amanda hugged her again. “We're going to have so much fun.”
“You're going to have fun. I, on the other hand, am not such a big fan of beauty salons and shopping. I lose patience real quick.”
“Don't worry. With me by your side… there won't be a dull moment.”
“Oh, I'm sure you're right… there is never a dull moment when you're around.” Feeling the margarita's effect, Syssi laughed. “That's what I'll miss going back to Kian's… He asked me to bring my stuff back to his place.”
“You do that, as you never actually sleep here… But no worries; we'll have plenty of good times together. It's not like I'm a long commute away, right?”
“Right… Well, I'm going to pack my stuff and then finally do some work.” Syssi walked over to the kitchen to rinse out her glass.
“Okay, party pooper. Now you've guilted me into doing some work as well.” Amanda pushed up from the couch and sauntered over to the bar. Making herself another drink, she turned to Syssi. "Want one?" she asked.
“No, thank you, I don't want a repeat of what happened the last time you kept pushing margaritas at me…” Syssi grimaced and headed for her room to pack.
It didn't take long until most of her belonging were neatly folded and packed into the duffle bag. But when she got to the velvet pouch containing her modest collection of jewelry, instead of adding it to the rest of her stuff, she turned around and dumped its contents on top of the dresser.
Sifting through the small pile of earrings, she sighed. None would work for her date with Kian. The diamond studs were okay, but they were as good as invisible beneath her full, wavy hair, and the rest of the stuff was just too plain for the occasion.
The same was true for the necklaces and bracelets. None of the bracelets would look good matched with the gleaming silver cuff on her right hand. And as for the necklaces, she didn't feel like taking off Andrew's pendant for something flashier even if the gold didn't go with the silver of the cuff.
“Oh, well…” Syssi returned everything to the pouch. Turning around, she found Amanda leaning against the doorjamb and sipping from her drink.
“I'll be right back,” Amanda said. Leaving her goblet on the dresser, she stepped out and headed down the hallway.
A few minutes later, she returned with an ornate jewelry box. Placing it on the dresser, she lifted its lid with marked reverence.
Inside, nestled in black velvet, was a gorgeous set of platinum and diamond earrings and a matching necklace. Syssi had never seen jewelry as beautiful as this. And even though she knew next to nothing about the styles or designer names of the fine-jewelry world, she had no doubt it was a one of a kind masterpiece.
“I want you to wear this tomorrow.” Amanda put her hand on Syssi's shoulder. “Go ahead… try it on…,” she urged.
“Are you serious? Would you really let me borrow this for tomorrow? It's stunning! Where did you get it? It must be one of a kind.”
“It is. It was a present from my mother for my two-hundredth birthday. I have no idea who she'd commissioned to make it, but I'm certain she ensured it was the only one made.” Amanda ran her fingers over the surface of the beautiful necklace.
“It must be very special to you. I will feel weird wearing it… even for one evening.” As much as Syssi was tempted, she knew she would be constantly stressed and worried that something might happen to it. The set was priceless, irreplaceable.
“You mean a lot to me, Syssi.” Amanda's tone got so uncharacteristically serious, it compelled Syssi to pry her gaze away from the jewelry and look up at her friend's face.
Amanda still wore that reverent expression, except, it wasn't directed at the masterpiece in the box. She was looking at Syssi.
Syssi's eyes misted with emotion. “You mean a lot to me too.” She wrapped her arm around Amanda's shoulders and pulled her into a hug.
Amanda leaned into her for a moment, her soft hair brushing against Syssi's neck. Then pulling back, she placed both hands on Syssi's shoulders and pinned her with her intense blue stare. “In the short time I've known you, I've come to think of you as a sister. I'm not that close to my real sisters, who are much older and busy with their own responsibilities, and I only became close to Kian when I moved here and he took me under his wing. But regardless of how things will turn out for the two of you, my feelings for you will not change. I want you to have the set, not only for tomorrow but to keep—as a symbol of our friendship.”
Touching a finger to Syssi's lips,
Amanda shushed her protests. “Hear me out. I want to give you something that has a special meaning to me and is close to my heart. And I can't think of anything else that will better fit the bill. Money means nothing to me, so anything I may buy for you wouldn't be special enough. Don't say no, let me have the pleasure of knowing you are carrying on your person a token of my love.”
Syssi was moved to tears. At some point during the last several days, she’d grown to care deeply for the complicated woman; there was no way she was going to jeopardize their nascent bond by being callous with Amanda's feelings. And as she saw no way to refuse without offending her friend, she was left with no choice but to accept.
But she'd have to gift Amanda something of equal value back. Except, the value would have to be in the sentiment it carried since she didn't own anything even remotely close to the monetary worth of that set. Syssi suspected that even her car, which had been pretty expensive, wasn't worth that much.
This left only one thing she could think of. Grasping at the necklace Andrew had given her on her sixteenth birthday, she opened the tiny clasp and took it off.
“If I'm to accept this gift from you, then you have to accept this from me. This necklace was a gift from my brother Andrew, and since the day I got it I never left home without it. It's not nearly as valuable as what you gave me, but if you believe objects get imbued with their owner's essence, then this necklace has the most essence I have ever imparted on any one thing. I regret the fact that it isn't worth even a fraction of what your gift is. My only consolation is that when you wear it, you'll carry some of me with you.” She took Amanda's hand and pressed the delicate chain with its small heart pendant into her palm.
“Thank you. I'm going to wear it always, just the way you did…” Amanda wrapped the chain around her neck and closed the clasp. When she was done adjusting the diamond-encrusted heart to lie in the hollow of her neck, she swiped a finger under each of her teary eyes. “Come here…” She opened her arms inviting Syssi to step into another embrace.
Standing in each other's arms, they were both sniffling. It felt good, though, to acknowledge this bond between them.