by Renee Roszel
He felt a surge of irritation, but couldn’t be angry with her as she clung to him, soft, willing and naked. With a wry half-grin, he grazed a kiss along her cheek, grousing, “One day that truthfulness of yours is going to kill me.”
“I—I’m sorry, but—” Her voice broke. “I can’t go on having useless fantasies about someone I don’t want in my life.”
He felt a rush of tenderness and regret so intense it was painful. “There’s a lot of that going around,” he said, knowing he’d lost too much sleep for the same damned reason.
“When you—do it, don’t try very hard,” she pleaded faintly. “I—I don’t want to like it. I just want it over ”
He could feel her tremble in his embrace. Holy hell. Jess Glen might be a failure in the eyes of her parents and her ex-husband, but to him, she was a woman with an iron-willed honesty that beat the devil out of anything he’d experienced in his life. Her impetuous candor was unique and touching in a world of oily smiles and white-collar bull.
He wanted to hold on to that for a while, wanted to make love to her like he’d never loved any other woman. Wanted her to touch him, hold him and smile at him with the same warmth he’d seen in her smiles at the kids.
The bottom line was, he couldn’t give her the emotional commitment she needed. He’d trained himself to dominate his emotions, avoid involvements. But getting to know Jess had become a unique and troubling experience.
Sure, he’d had women come to him, wanting a quick fling. But Jess’s plaintive request wasn’t the same thing at all. Little Miss Heart-On-Her-Sleeve didn’t want a night of fun. She needed a sexual-reality check that would restore her peace of mind. And if he was honest with himself, so did he. Everybody knew the fantasy was always sweeter than the reality. It was better to find out, get it over with, and move on. But, somehow, holding Jess like this dulled the harsh edge of his self-imposed isolation in a way no other woman ever had. It was an unsettling realization.
Where was his famous, cool-headed logic? Usually a naked woman in his arms was not a problem. He simply made love to her and forgot her. So why was he hesitating? Possibly because he had a nagging suspicion that if he took her up on her offer, there’d be an emotional price tag when it was over—one that might be very, very steep.
“Lucas?” she asked, searching his face. “What is it?”
He could see raw vulnerability in her eyes, and knew she feared he was going to reject her. And to her that would be a thoroughly humiliating failure to add to what must be, for her, a lifelong list. He muffled an obscenity in her sweet-smelling hair. He didn’t want to hurt her, but he was far from sure that having sex with her was the wisest route for either of them.
Against his better judgment, his fingers roamed downward, along the silky contours of her back, to cup a tempting hip. He groaned, going hot and rigid with desire. Abruptly, deciding not to think or analyze, he lifted her into his arms. “Dammit, Jess,” he whispered gruffly. “You never make anything easy.”
Wrapping her arms about his neck, she offered sadly, “I’m sorry—”
“Quit saying that!” he growled. Looking around the sparsely furnished room, he mused aloud, “There’s no comfortable place in here to make love.”
“That’s good,” she whispered, bleakly. “Uncomfortable is good.”
He bit off another curse. “If you want uncomfortable, how’s the floor?”
She nodded. “Probably as uncomfortable as any place.”
He shook his head at her and lowered her where they stood. “At least let me spread out this robe.”
She removed her arms from about him and watched as he opened her bathrobe on the polished wood floor. His mood grim, he glanced up at her. “Hell. Don’t look so much like you’re being burned at the stake.”
She lowered her gaze to her clenched hands. “Maybe you should start getting undressed.”
“Why don’t I just unzip my pants?” he suggested sarcastically. “That’d be more slam-bam-thank-you-ma’am. No real involvement.”
She swallowed visibly. “If you prefer.”
He glowered at her. “Well, I don’t prefer. I’m not going to treat you like a ten-dollar trick, no matter how quickly you want me out of your system. Is that clear?”
She blinked, and lifted her unhappy gaze, but said nothing.
He was torn. This was the craziest situation he’d ever been in. “Look,” he began more gently, leaning toward her and grazing her lips with a kiss. “You brought two condoms. If you want it over so fast, what was the second one for? Tossing a water balloon on the gardener’s head? He gets here in an hour.”
She flushed all the way to the pink tips of her breasts, and he felt a hot tightening in his gut at the sight. “Either we do this for real, or we don’t do it at all.” He hated saying those words. If she grabbed up her robe now, and left him kneeling on the floor, he doubted that he’d ever walk upright again. But some things couldn’t be compromised or rushed, and he had a strong conviction that making love to Jess Glen was likely to be one of them.
Her glance fluttered away for what seemed like an eternity, then returned, more direct and determined than ever. “I—I suppose, if those are your terms, I’ll have to agree.” She lifted her chin, the image of Joan of Arc on the brink of martyrdom.
Relieved that she was still there, he smiled ruefully. “If it’ll make you feel better, I’m probably lousy in bed. And on a hardwood floor, it’s practically a given.”
“I’m counting on it,” she mumbled. “Kiss me, Lucas.”
Experiencing a bizarre mix of frustration and elation, he lowered her gently onto her back.
10
Jess scarcely felt the hard floor or the terry at her back. Her whole being was focused on the face above hers. His chiseled features were serious, yet striking. She felt completely defenseless against this man’s charisma. No longer able to fight it, she ached for his touch.
As he made a move to get the lights, she grabbed his hand. “No, don’t,” she implored. “No romantic lighting. I want to see all your flaws.” Her eyes welled in her frantic need to know Lucas Brand as nothing more than the self-centered being she was sure he was—not the sensitive lover her crazy intuition was trying to convince her he could be.
A shadow of annoyance crossed his face. “No bed, no soft lights,” he muttered. “How many stipulations are you going to put on this thing? Maybe we shouldn’t even kiss.”
She lay there, very aware that he had placed an arm intimately on either side of her breasts, his shirtsleeves grazing her nakedness. His body warmth was inviting, and his scent, so masculine, turned her on, making her damp with want. Unable to help herself, she reached up to stroke his jaw. “I couldn’t bear it if you didn’t kiss me, Lucas.” Her lower lip trembled as she scanned his disapproving face. “I wish I could be strong and say no kissing, but I can’t—not with you.”
The frustration in his eyes faded, and with a rueful twitch of his lips, he shook his head. “Dammit, Jess.” He turned into her hand, kissing her palm. “Dammit…”
He lowered himself gradually, and as he did, she slid her arms about his neck, drawing him ever nearer. The act seemed to be played out in slow motion, every second an eternity of anticipation. At first, his lips only brushed hers, and she found herself straining upward for more.
Running her hands through his hair, she smiled into those hypnotic eyes. “Come here,” she invited, surprised at the seductive purr in her voice.
His mouth met hers, coaxing, pleasing, and she was nourished with the utter sweetness of it. She curled her arms more tightly about his neck and drew him over her to blanket her body, instinctively spreading her legs. He groaned and moved against her, so that she could feel the bulge of his erection at the moist juncture of her thighs.
He showered hot kisses along her jaw and throat, working deliciously downward, his lips fiery, driving her mad.
He slid off and drew a hand along her side, inch by inch, making her body tingle. His finger
s tempted her ribs, her hip, her thigh, then traced across to her pulsating core, where they dipped, making her gasp and arch with the lightning flash of gratification his touch elicited.
As his fingers stroked and penetrated, she found herself panting and gasping for air, breathless with the wild rush of feelings as he probed deeper, more insistently, teaching her things she didn’t know nice well-brought-up girls did. But with him, everything was so natural, so wonderful and right.
He fondled and fanned into flame the most secluded reaches of her sexual core, eventually making her cry out in climax, quaking, her body glowing with exertion.
When her breathing had calmed somewhat, he drew her into his embrace, and she snuggled against him, savoring the denouement of her climax, thrumming pleasantly through her body.
A big, gentle hand cupped her hip, another stroked her hair. His breath was intoxicating as it whispered along her face and shoulder. She was aware of the strength and heat of his hard body, still sheathed in all his clothes. “Why,” she breathed weakly, “do you keep pleasing me, and never yourself?”
His low chuckle tickled her breasts. Kissing the tip of her nose, he asked, “Do you think watching your orgasm bores me?”
She felt her whole body flush, and buried her face in his button-down chest. “Oh, Lord,” she groaned, trying to shut out the vision of herself losing control before him. Mortified, she recalled the lewd words she’d uttered in the mindless moments when he was driving her wild, masterfully guiding her into exhilarating fulfillment. “I’ll never be able to look you in the eye again,” she cried. “I said some filthy things.”
He drew her more tightly to him, and she could feel the steady beat of his heart. “You made some sexy requests,” he teased, his hand on her hip stroking provocatively. “If you meant them, I’ll be glad to oblige.”
She shifted to look into his eyes, then lifted her hands to his shirtfront and began to unbutton it. “I’m afraid I did,” she whispered, kissing the parts of chest that were becoming exposed to her view.
His hands stroked and massaged as she unbuttoned his shirt. Stunned with the rapidity at which this man could make her crazy with desire, she cried out, and unthinkingly, ripped the shirt open. Buttons flew and bounced about them in a fitful rat-a-tat on the floor. “Oh—” Jess breathed, unable to keep from hugging him, flesh to flesh at last. “I—I’m sorry for ruining your—”
His fingers plunged and she cried out with stark, delirious ecstasy.
“Never apologize to me again,” he commanded huskily in her ear, his tongue matching the movement of his fingers, driving her over the edge of another lightning-intense climax.
After she helped him remove the rest of his clothes, they lay naked in each other’s arms for a moment. Jess’s body was slick and tingling from having been so utterly pleasured by a man she’d mistakenly thought cold-blooded and mechanical. She’d never been so mistaken in her life. Sexually, Lucas was proving to be a wild man, a sorcerer shrewd in the ways of satisfying and indulging a woman.
He knew how to tantalize to the edge of insanity, for he had not yet attempted to enter her. He just lay there, his hands roving seductively, his lips making hot little demands along her shoulder blade. Languorously, she scanned his lean, muscular body. It was flawless—unfortunately—even in the stark light of the room. Unable to stop herself, she took hold of him and stroked his erection with awe and reeling anticipation. “You’re killing me,” she cried. “This much restraint can’t be good for you—you’ll have a heart attack.”
He grinned down at her, his expression full of sexy promise as his hand slid across her belly to fondle her breasts. “I feel fine,” he said, his voice low and amused. “But, thanks for your concern.”
Jess closed her eyes, sure that at any moment she was going to die from sensory overload. She moaned, writhing helplessly beneath his touch as currents of new, primitive hunger washed through her. Clutching at his broad torso, she feared she was going to explode if he didn’t enter her quickly. In a broken whimper, she pleaded, “Lucas, please—Love me…now….”
His body shifted to cover hers, blocking the light, and the room grew dark. He touched her intimately, probing, tantalizing her as he positioned himself. The sensation was thrillingly erotic. He hovered for a spellbinding moment, and she licked her lips expectantly.
His thrust, when it came, was a lovely shock. Urgently, potently, yet lovingly, he entered her, and she gasped at the sweet torture, her whole being filling up with him.
At first his movements were slow and measured, while he gradually drew her toward fulfillment. Then, becoming more and more aroused, she wrapped her legs about his rock-hard thighs, and pulled him deeply into her, welcoming him making love with a ravenous passion she’d never before experienced. As he began to plunge more forcefully, new hunger spiraled and blazed in her, and she delighted in his unexpected recklessness.
The sounds of their lovemaking were sounds that Jess knew she would hear echoing in her dreams for the rest of her life. Their love was beautiful and uncivilized. Untamed, unwise—and evanescent. Realizing this, she felt a sadness invade her pleasure.
Almost desperately, her hands searched, held and worshiped the exposed, lean muscles of his buttocks and back. She moaned his name again and again as the extraordinary power of his surging body consumed her totally. She was swept away on wave after wave of sensation, both alien and exquisite, until at last, molten shafts of rapture exploded inside her, and she cried out, abandoning herself to the cresting climax.
With a ragged groan, he shuddered inside her, holding her possessively to him as he found his own release. Their lips met in a stormy kiss of mutual triumph. And, trembling, Jess clung to his broad back, utterly fulfilled, utterly consumed.
When their lingering kiss ended, she lay still there for a long moment, her mind dazed, her body like jelly. Joined to him, and redolent with his scent, his delicious nakedness still pressing her to the floor, she felt as though she were in a dreamworld—a world from which she had no desire to wake. She sighed, and kissed his shiny-wet flesh, and she ran a hand along his spine, delicately, dreamily.
“What are you telling me?” he crooned near her ear. “You want more?”
She opened her eyes at the sound of his voice, drawn reluctantly back to reality. Her tone sorrowful, she sighed, “Oh, Lucas…” She uncurled her legs from around his muscular thighs. “I don’t have the stamina for more.”
He smoothed a damp tendril of hair from her temple, replacing it with a kiss. “What about the other condom?”
Her eyes widened. “The condom? I completely forgot. And this is—is a bad time of the month for me to be careless.”
His gaze was caressing. “It’s okay. I remembered.”
“But,” she stammered. “When? I never—”
He grinned at her. “Your mind was somewhere else at the time.”
She flushed hot. “I have to admit my mind has never deserted me as totally as it did tonight.” Swallowing hard, she whispered, “You must think I’m very loose.”
He frowned, then flashed a provocative grin. “I thought nothing of the kind.”
She became uneasy under his gentle scrutiny. It occurred to her that he really did have plans for using that other condom tonight. Long, strong fingers were already trailing down her rib cage, making her tingle with renewed sexual excitement. She couldn’t let it happen. This insanity had to stop before it was too late—before she fell in love. She squelched a mental voice that was trying to tell her something—something she dared not hear. “Lucas,” she began thickly, brushing away his hand. “I—I didn’t mean for us to get involved. I just wanted…” Her voice broke, and she found that all she could do was turn her head away in a wordless plea to be released from the heavenly male confines of his body.
He said nothing for a time, but his hand no longer quested along her skin. Finally he lifted himself away from her, gently disconnecting them. But Jess flinched at the parting, sure she had experi
enced something almost mystical with this man, yet, knowing him the way she did, determined she must never yearn for more. He had no place in his heart for a wife or kids. Fantasies and dreams of a future with him were useless.
“Am I out of your system?” he asked, sounding solemn.
She tried to shut out the harsh truth, loath to admit it even to herself—that she would never forget this man; never be able to put this night out of her mind. Because of her foolish weakness for him, she would be cursed to relive what had happened here for the rest of her days—and nights.
Fearing her voice would betray her, she only nodded, trying to coax her weakened limbs to move. Before she could escape, he wound a hand roughly through her hair and drew her lips to his, scorching them in one last, taunting kiss. She sagged against him as his mouth sapped her of the desire to do anything but draw his hot, powerful erection into her again.
As she was about to wrap her arms about his broad shoulders and drag him back down to blanket her—to put to lovely use that remaining condom—he whispered huskily against her lips, “Let me get this straight. Your bottom line is, you found out what you wanted to know. Now we move on?”
She pulled back and studied his face. He was regarding her with dark, earnest eyes.
She looked away unhappily, then struggled to her feet. “That’s about it.”
Lucas scooped up his slacks and stood, also. “I see,” he said. “There’s just one thing.”
Jess had plucked up her robe and was searching for the armhole, but his ominous tone stilled her movement. “What?” she asked.
“Some people might say that’s a little cold-blooded,” he softly rebuked.
His quiet censure unstrung her, and she countered defensively, “Oh? Well, why don’t we ask Mary Anne Brown her opinion of you?”
His eyes flashed with anger, but a tentative knock at the door shattered any further debate. Horrified at the thought that someone might find her in such a compromising position, Jess fumbled nervously and dropped her robe.