A trembling sigh broke from her lips. Cade’s hand rested on her shoulder. Rachel could feel his strength. “I’m okay, Cade.”
Cade struggled to maintain his composure. But Rachel had almost died from the ordeal and the thought nearly undid him. Ordinarily, he could. The physician had already cut away the fabric of her slacks on her thigh to reach the still-bleeding wound. Rachel had fainted in the ambulance as he rode with her to the hospital in Jackson Hole. When he was sure that she was being taken care of, he’d called his parents to let them know she was going to survive the gunshot wound. Plus, he had to coordinate with the sheriff’s office and make sure Payson was guarded.
“That’s good news,” he agreed, attempting to share a smile with her, but not succeeding. Since the doctor was working on her, he couldn’t embrace her. Cade stood at the end of the gurney holding her cold, damp fingers. He could see that Rachel was still in shock. Why wouldn’t she be?
“I don’t remember getting shot,” Rachel murmured, searching her memory. “I just remember my leg feeling numb and when I wanted to move, I couldn’t.”
The young doctor looked over at the deputy. The blond-haired nurse at his side handed her a sponge. “Nothing to be worried about,” she assured Cade. “It’s a flesh wound. She was lucky. I’m going to clean it up, give her a shot of lydocaine to numb the area and then sew it up and put a dressing on it. After a tetanus shot and an antibiotic prescription, I’m going to release her.”
Relief flooded Cade. “Sounds good,” he whispered, gazing down at Rachel. She looked so pale. What kind of trauma had she faced with Payson? “Do you remember what happened before I arrived?”
Rachel told him everything. When she finished the story, she felt fatigued. Talking about it drained her of whatever reserves she had left. “What shape is he in?” she asked Cade.
“Payson’s in a private room here in the hospital and being guarded by two deputies. We’re moving through the paperwork to get him transferred back to the prison he broke out of. He’s got a broken nose and jaw, he lost three teeth, but he’s going to live.” Cade held up the hand he’d used to strike Payson. His knuckles were bruised and swollen. He wished he’d hit him even harder.
Reaching out, Rachel gently placed her hand over his knuckles. “You saved me….”
Cade gently squeezed her hand. “I just thank God I listened to my gut, Rachel. I had a bad feeling, turned around and drove home. I saw Randy on the road making his rounds. When I got to the ranch and saw the master-bedroom window broken, I knew Payson had found you.”
Hot tears filled her eyes. It was the first time since the incident that she’d felt weepy. Maybe the adrenaline was wearing off and exposing her to other emotions. “Cade, he admitted to killing my mom.” Shakily, she wiped her eyes. “After he told me that, I don’t know what came over me. I wanted to kill him for killing her. I can’t believe I picked up that bronze and hit him with it.”
Gently, Cade said, “Rachel, we’re all capable of defending ourselves. And that’s what you did. And anyone would be angry toward the person who killed their loved one. Don’t feel guilty over how you responded.” His mouth turned down. “I’m just sorry I wasn’t there earlier.” Hoarsely, he whispered, “I promised to protect you from Payson and I didn’t….”
That hurt him most of all because he loved Rachel and he hadn’t been there to stand between her and that killer in time.
“Don’t go there, Cade. You came at the right time,” Rachel protested, her voice stronger with conviction. “I’m just glad it’s over.”
Nodding, Cade wished the doctor and nurse weren’t present. He wanted to take Rachel into his arms and hold her so damn tightly they’d became one. Searching her exhausted features, he murmured, “As soon as the doctor is finished, I’m taking you home.”
Looking into her weary eyes, he asked, “Are you all right with that? Would you rather not go back to that house?”
“Oh, Cade, it’s your house. It’s where I’ve lived and I love being there. I don’t want to go anywhere else. I really don’t.”
Heartened, he nodded. “Okay, home it is.”
Home. That word sounded incredibly healing to Rachel. Her world had suddenly imploded upon her. She had no idea what would happen next. The loss of her mother and now Dirk’s unexpected attack had made her feel out of control. Cade looked so assured and strong that she greedily absorbed that energy. His hand felt stabilizing and warm compared to the iciness she felt present within herself. Though she was in shock, Rachel tried to give him a warm look.
“I can hardly wait, Cade. That’s all I want right now—home, you and Jenny.”
CADE STOOD AT THE kitchen window five days later. The May sun was shining. The snow was nearly gone, and he could see the muddy land starting to green up in preparation for the late spring. Sipping his coffee, he turned and waited for Rachel. It was only 6:00 a.m. Jenny was asleep in her room. He’d checked earlier on the baby and then on Rachel. She, too, was sleeping soundly.
A new sense of contentment blanketed him. He’d asked for two weeks vacation after the incident. As he drank his coffee, he felt a deep satisfaction that Dirk Payson was in prison. Payson would have another trial for the murder of Daisy Donovan. And Cade was sure he’d get the death penalty. The bastard deserved it. He was a bad seed and had made choices that took him down this particular path. At some point, Payson would permanently be out of Rachel’s life. Until then, Cade wanted to be there for her. He loved her.
His heart ached with need of Rachel. Since he’d brought her home, she’d shifted and gone deep within herself. Cade recognized it as grief as well as shock. His family had rallied around her and little by little, Rachel was emerging from the darkness. Even better, the FBI was releasing her from the witness protection program. They had rounded up the rest of Payson’s men who had worked with him. The Donovan family was no longer in jeopardy from the drug ring since it had been broken up and the FBI had captured the drug lord.
Rachel padded softly out into the kitchen in her sheepskin slippers. She saw Cade standing at the kitchen sink leaning his hips against it, cup of coffee in hand. He wore a maroon flannel long-sleeved shirt and jeans along with his well-worn cowboy boots. His hair was still damp, so she knew he’d recently taken a shower. Giving him a soft smile, she said, “Coffee’s ready?”
Cade nodded, poured her a cup and handed it to her. Her hair was mussed and he ached to run his fingers through that mass of curls where the blond hair was now clearly evident. “Did you sleep well?” he asked. Rachel wore a pale-pink chenille robe and a sleepy look lingered in her eyes. The expression became her, and Cade forced himself not to stare at the soft curve of her lips. Wanting to kiss her, kiss away her anguish and suffering, he gripped the mug a little more tightly in his hand.
“I slept like a log. I had a good dream.”
“Oh?” His heart began to race with need of her. So much had happened and Cade felt frustrated that he could never bring up his personal need for Rachel or speak of the love and dreams he had for both of them.
Settling her hips against the counter, Rachel sipped her coffee. “I dreamed I was home, at our farm. I was with my brothers and their families. We were happy and laughing.” Looking up at Cade she said, “And you were there, too.”
“One big happy family again?” Cade asked, heartened by the dream.
Nodding, Rachel took another drink of the coffee, eased away from the counter and set the mug down next to the sink. Moving in front of Cade, she placed her hand on his arm. “Cade, I can’t stand not saying this to you.” She pursed her lips for a moment and looked worried. Gathering her courage, Rachel sought out and held his suddenly intense gaze. “I love you. It just happened over time. I wasn’t expecting ever to fall in love again, but here you were. You’ve been wonderful—you’re patient and understanding. You’re the exact opposite of Dirk in every way. So many times I’ve stood at this sink, looking out the window, counting my blessings that you’d somehow fallen in
to my life like a guardian angel.” Her hand tightened briefly on his upper arm where she felt his muscles respond beneath her fingers. “I woke up this morning knowing I had to tell you that. I don’t know if you love me…but with so much happening, I had to tell you how I really felt.”
His mouth dry, Cade asked in a rasp, “And how long have you loved me, Rachel?”
She gave him a shy smile. “I think it started the night of the accident. I didn’t realize it until later of course, but seeing you was like seeing life. A life filled with promise. With hope. I finally figured out about a month afterward that you were the man I had always dreamed of meeting, but hadn’t. I made some terrible choices, Cade. I didn’t listen to my mom’s advice, and instead I ran away from home. She was right. And after all that happened, you were like life being handed back to me.”
Her words were like sunlight flooding into his entire being. Cade set his mug down and brought Rachel into his arms. She was soft and willowy, her lower body pressed against his. “Thanks for being so honest,” he said, moving his fingers across her brow to move a few strands of hair aside. He drowned in the wide blue eyes that shone with innocence. Somehow, he managed to tell the truth. “I love you, too, Rachel. I don’t know when it happened, either. It just did. At first, because you came here to take care of Jenny, I thought I was reliving my first marriage. Later, I knew it had nothing to do with the past.” He smiled gently and cupped her face, “I fell in love with you for you. And God knows how long I’ve been sitting on this. Every time I thought I could tell you, something happened to stop me.”
His roughened hands made her flesh tingle. How good it felt to be cradled in Cade’s arms. His voice vibrated with feeling. Rachel could see the love shining in his widening gray eyes. No longer was he the expressionless sheriff’s deputy, but a man wanting to love his woman. Leaning up, she kissed his recently shaven cheek. And then, on tiptoes, her lips near his ear, she whispered, “I want to love you, Cade. Here. Now. I’ve never wanted anything more than you. And I know it’s the right time and place. Will you?” She pulled away to look into his eyes.
“You never have to ask, sweet woman,” Cade told her. In one movement, he picked her up off the floor and into his arms. Glorying in the way her arms settled around his shoulders, in the lovely smile in her eyes and on her lips, Cade carried her to their bedroom.
The stained-glass lamp on the bureau gave just enough light to the room. With a sigh, Rachel felt him nudge the door closed with the toe of his boot. The room was like a warm cocoon to her. Cade deposited her on the bed. The beautiful quilt over the top had been an heirloom from his great-grandmother. It was old, well-worn, much loved, and she absorbed the love that had gone into its making.
Cade sat down next to her. He grazed her reddened cheek. “Tell me what you want.” He grazed the line of her clean jaw and read the need in her slumberous eyes.
“Just love me, Cade. That’s all I need or will ever want.” Her voice went low, uncertain. “I’m not saying I’m skilled at this….”
“Then we’ll teach one another as we go,” Cade whispered, touched by her admission. Standing up, he began to undress. A sense of incredible inner power flowed through Cade as he unbuttoned his shirt, shed it and bared his massive, dark-haired chest. The look shining in Rachel’s eyes made him feel more potent than ever before.
Rachel felt her heart beating faster and faster as Cade removed each article of clothing. His body was powerful, shaped from a life of ranch work. The muscles of his arms and legs were well developed. When he stood naked before Rachel, her mouth went dry with anticipation. Clearly, Cade desired her. There was no mistaking that, and she dragged her gaze upward to meet his. Without a word, she sat up. There was a sense of momentary dread as she eased off the bed to remove the chenille robe. Rachel wore nothing beneath it. Would Cade find her ugly? Not beautiful enough to want to love? Rachel swept past her fear and found the courage to allow the garment to drop and pool about her feet. She stood naked before Cade’s burning inspection. Anxiously, she searched his gaze, worried that he would reject her. Payson had called her body deformed and ugly.
Cade lifted his hands and rested them on her shoulders. “You’re incredibly beautiful, Rachel.” His voice went hoarse with want. His eyes slid down and across her body. Her breasts were small, perfectly formed, and her hips wide and flared. She was built to have children, he realized somewhere in his fleeting thoughts. And how badly Cade yearned to have a baby with her. For now, he used protection and they could decide when the time was right for both of them.
Closing her eyes, Rachel allowed his words to vibrate through her, touch her heart and heal her wounded spirit. Did Cade know how wonderful those words sounded? She didn’t think so, but she would let him know at another time. Opening her eyes, Rachel stepped forward into the circle of his arms, reached up and placed her mouth against his.
Within seconds, Cade’s lips plundered hers, fueled by aching need. Easing Rachel down to the bed, Cade lay beside her, their bodies meeting and melding against one another. Rachel absorbed his male strength. It felt as if they had been made for one another—his body powerful, hard, and hers soft and receptive. This new discovery riffled through her like a hot, needy sensation and made the ache between her thighs even more intense.
As his mouth cherished hers, his breath hot and ragged against her cheek, Rachel moved her tongue across his lower lip. Cade groaned. The sound was like thunder moving through her, enticing her, calling to her. The knot of throbbing heat within her grew to such a point that Rachel moaned. She’d never felt this hungry before.
As Cade moved his hand in a slow, exploratory gesture down from her shoulder to curve around her small, firm breast, he felt her gasp. Smiling into her eyes, he used his thumb and index finger to caress the hardened nipple. Rachel pressed herself against him, a raw moan escaping her parted lips. His heart soared. Cade knew he was pleasuring her. He burned with a love that could only be quenched by their coming physically together. Yet, as he left her breast and trailed his fingers down across her rib cage to her waist and belly, Cade wanted this to be good for Rachel in every way. If that meant he would suffer in the meantime, that was all right with him. He knew enough of Rachel’s past not to hurry her, rather, to allow her to feel what it was like to have a man who loved her bring her to full readiness.
Cade’s fingers caressed the downy nest of hair at the apex of her thighs. Rachel gasped, her flesh tingling and tightening. She cried out his name. As Cade gently eased his fingers into the cleft to graze her sensitized flesh for the first time, Rachel emitted a moan of utter pleasure. Heat built rapidly within her core. Cade’s fingers knew how to explore, caress and make the ache within her even more intense. Rachel arched herself against his fingers.
“That’s it,” Cade whispered darkly into her ear, “just enjoy this, Rachel. You’re all woman, you’re mine. All I want to do is give you pleasure….”
Absorbing his husky words, she restlessly slid her arms around his shoulders and pulled him forward. As his fingers left that dark, secret place of heat, Rachel felt his mouth settle commandingly over hers. She opened her legs and thrust her hips upward. Instantly, he met her aching core. She deepened the kiss and moved her tongue within his mouth. The moment that happened, she arched upward to meet his thrust into her.
Her world spun and deepened. Rachel felt him move seamlessly into her, as if they had always been meant for one another. He slid his hand beneath her hips, lifted her slightly, the sensations intensifying until she tore her lips from his. With each rocking thrust, Rachel went higher and higher. The throbbing tension in her core became so intense, she groaned. And, as if sensing what she needed, Cade thrust hard and deep within her. Their rhythm changed and grew frantic. Throwing her head back, Rachel cried out in relief as the gate within her exploded. The hot fluid flowed through her in wave after wave of utter gratification. She felt light, airy, only vaguely aware of Cade’s breath next to her ear. His hips continued to thrust a
gainst hers, his male body strong and coaxing her to new heights.
It was like being spun in gold and white light, Rachel thought. She was weightless, plundering his mouth and feeling his hot, moist breath flowing across her face. Cade stiffened, groaned and tensed to immobility. Rachel instinctively knew to move her hips to give him the ultimate joy that he’d just given her. Together, they were molten lava flowing and fusing into one another. As she clung to Cade and his arms slid around her in a tight embrace, she needed nothing more. Nothing. For the first time, Rachel understood what it was for a man to fully love his woman. The tenderness Cade had shown, the patience, the slow movement and exploration of his hands and lips upon her body taught Rachel what real love was really all about. It made her life with Payson seem like a bleak sham. Rachel gloried beneath Cade’s heavy body pressing her into the mattress. His mouth caressed her closed eyelids and sipped the honey from her parted lips.
All of the butterfly lightness slowly receded. Rachel lay in Cade’s arms, his body like a warm blanket across her. There was a delicious sense of love mingling with protection, as well as care radiating from him to her. His fingers gently tangled through the strands of her hair. Her scalp radiated with delicious tingles beneath his ministrations. Each movement made her feel wanted, needed and most of all, Rachel could feel herself healing from her traumatic past. Love did that, she realized as she slowly descended from that euphoric state.
Easing off her, Cade brought Rachel beside him. The room was warm but he wanted to ensure she wouldn’t get chilled in the aftermath of their love-making. Reaching across her, he brought the quilt up and over them. Her eyes opened, with a drowsy, fulfilled look in them. He smiled down at her. “This is what I want to see every morning when I wake up with you,” he told her in a low tone. Caressing her hair, he whispered, “I love you, Rachel. I want to marry you. I want you to be my partner, my best friend…my wife. And the mother of our children if that’s what you want.”
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