She was going into character, Andrew realised, which was a bit nervous-making. His guests were gleefully expectant. If this were a primitive festival, Andrew would be the sacrificial pig. Not fat, you understand – Andrew still looked fine in a swimming suit – just destined for butchering.
“I use this game when there are two women at a party who are quarrelling,” said Sally.
“As you and Cynthia seem to be,” said Janis.
“Or rivals or enemies,” said Sally, “though maybe they don’t admit it. But I hope Cynthia doesn’t regard me that way.” She smiled at the group, having ensured that Cynthia would hate her, at least for present purposes.
“We can be enemies if you want,” said Cynthia defiantly.
“As you like,” said Sally. “It’s called the husband game. Here’s how it works. The two women…”
“You and me,” said Cynthia.
Yes, butchering, Andrew said to himself.
“We can play if you like,” said Sally. “The way it starts is that we make our husbands undress.”
Sharp intake of breath.
“But you don’t have a husband,” said Judy.
“Andrew was my husband yesterday. And Joe is still Cynthia’s, I think. They’ll do.”
Andrew looked over at Joe, who shrugged. He realised Joe would be perfectly comfortable naked. Good body. Probably liked the idea. Andrew himself didn’t like the idea, but he was trapped. He was responsible for Sally’s presence. He was entertaining billionaires. He had to play whatever games were proposed.
“Then each of the women…”
“Do we want to know this?” said Rosemary, interrupting.
“Of course we do,” said Shiva.
“We could all just imagine what comes next,” said Rosemary. “The reality could be quite ugly. We could have Caliban at the door.” No one spoke. She had Andrew’s vote but evidently no one else’s. “Go ahead if you all want to,” she said.
“It’s quite simple, really,” Sally continued. “Each of the women attempts to excite the other one’s husband.”
The Governor chuckled. He might have met Sally before, but this was new.
“The woman who brings the process to a conclusion first is the winner,” said Sally, “and gets to give her enemy or rival or competitor, whatever I’m supposed to call you” – she looked at Cynthia – “a good spanking.” She paused and let the thought sink in. “Are you good at spanking, Cynthia?” she asked.
“Not really,” said Joe. “I mean, to be honest, I don’t think Cyn would like this game.”
“Try me,” said Cynthia.
“OK,” said Joe. He had no problem with the game. That was clear. And no problem with what got done to his current wife. Her hundred-million-dollar cheque had already been written.
“House rules?” said Sally.
“Meaning what?” said Cynthia.
“How long is the spanking?”
“Five minutes?” said Cynthia.
“It gets old within two minutes,” said Sally. “For both parties.”
“Two minutes, then.”
“Let’s get on with it,” said Sally calmly.
Joe began to unbutton his shirt without further instruction. Andrew did the same.
“Is this sophistication?” said Judy.
“Depravity, actually,” said Rosemary. “Something you need to know about.”
Once you decide you are going to undress, Andrew discovered, it gets easier. You have permission. He sat down on a chair and took off his shoes, then stood up and took off his chino trousers. The shock is when you first realise you’re going to do it.
“When do we start?” said Cynthia.
“We already have,” said Sally.
Sally walked around Joe like someone who’d just bought a Ferrari. “Really nice rear end,” she said, running two fingers down Joe’s spine. “Since you’re all new at this game, I should point out that not thinking about sex is quite important.”
“I get it,” said Janis, interrupting.
“Go on then,” said Sally.
“Well, the deal is,” said Janis, “each of you is counting on your husband being unaffected by your competitor’s… ministrations. A good husband would make it his business to be impervious.”
“But as the good husband watches his wife attending to the other man,” said the Governor, picking up the thread, “he sees his wife in a new light, which possibly turns him on.” George looked briefly embarrassed. “It might turn some men on,” he said.
“Which means his poor wife will get spanked,” said Janis. “Oh, I like this game.”
“You do?” said Judy.
“Well, a bit.” Janis liked the idea of George’s wife Lydia getting spanked, Andrew decided. He liked it that she wasn’t coy about that.
“And while he wants to be the good husband,” said the Governor, “the prospect of his darling wife being spanked…”
“…in front of everyone…” Janis interjected.
“…makes it impossible for him to defend her,” said the Governor, “with his continence.”
“I think Janis is beginning to relax,” said Sally. Janis blushed again.
“Now, there are a lot of ways to go at this,” said Sally. “And, Cynthia, you can start on Andrew however and whenever you like. But with such a beautiful bottom as I have available to me here” – she leaned down and took off one of her flat shoes – “I think it’s pretty clear what to do.”
She struck the aforesaid bottom. Joe gasped – as did most of her audience. She hit him again.
“Ohio somewhere,” he said. “You wore a mask. I was buying a company. Little promotional flier in the hotel room. Very coy. Massage can be arranged.”
“You gave me a thousand dollar tip.”
“Worth every penny,” he said.
“I think better of you already, Joe,” said Rosemary.
“Leave him in the little world he’s in, please,” said Sally.
“Of course,” said Rosemary. “But do we need to continue?”
“Don’t be a spoil-sport,” said Shiva.
“Well if you must, at least take the show outside. All four of you. And take your clothes, Andrew.”
“But how will we know who wins?” said Joe, a competitor again, as Sally gathered up his discarded garments.
“I suspect that will be easy,” said Rosemary, but if we need a referee, George can do the honours. He’s a public official, after all.”
Both couples went out onto the porch. No actual Caliban visible. Cynthia insisted they locate themselves around the corner from each other. The water-resistant cushions on the porch sofa were cold. The evening breeze dusted Andrew with goose-bumps. Cynthia sat down beside him. “I can’t do this,” she said quietly. The fight had all gone out of her.
“You’ll get spanked,” he said.
“I get spanked all the time,” she said. Andrew must have registered alarm, because she added quickly, “Oh, not by Joe. By life.”
“I wouldn’t have thought so,” said Andrew. “Joe is – well, it’s becoming hard to say what Joe is.”
“Joe is a gentleman, actually,” said Cynthia, “even if he can be obtuse. It’s life that’s a bitch.”
“Joe gets what he wants,” said Andrew.
A whoop from around the corner indicated that he had.
“Which clearly isn’t me,” said Cynthia. “Happily isn’t me, to be honest.”
The Governor of Massachusetts stuck his head out the door. “Do I need to adjudicate?” he asked.
“We concede,” said Andrew. George’s head disappeared.
Cynthia stood up and undressed as Andrew did the opposite. “Time to feed the lions,” she said, putting on an almost believable smile.
“Why do we do these things?” Andrew asked her. He meant the question in a cosmic sense.
“Loneliness,” said Cynthia. “Holding it off, that is.”
Sally stopped after the first dozen smacks. Cynthia refused champ
agne and went upstairs immediately.
“Oh my,” said Judy.
“Yes,” said Janis.
“But what does Andrew get for his trouble?” said Shiva. “What’s his reward for this, I must say, extraordinary entertainment?”
“He gets his fee letters signed,” said Rosemary unexpectedly. “Twenty million from each of you. And you’re hiring him personally, not his firm.”
“His former firm,” said Joe, who seemed unsurprised. “My only proviso is that he abandons any claim on Sally.”
“We’re just good friends,” said Andrew. Sally grinned.
“And if I could ask a favour, Andrew,” said Shiva. “Would you keep Rosemary company while I’m away? I may need to visit India...”
“…and Rosemary is tired of curry,” said Rosemary.
“It would be an honour,” said Andrew.
“It better be more than that,” said Rosemary. “But what about Janis?”
“She’s going to write up our agreements tomorrow,” said Joe, “so I suggest she goes to bed.”
“A four-poster bed?” said Sally.
It took several seconds for the Governor to react. “Why not?” he said finally. “Lydia will never believe I’m not sleeping with you.”
“But where will you sleep?” said Janis to Andrew. Nice of her to care.
“We’re the help,” said Rosemary. “We sleep in the servant’s room at the end of the pantry.”
Everyone laughed. The complexities of life had vanished in a bonfire of sexual honesty.
“Our revels now are ended?” said Shiva.
“Maybe,” said the Governor.
“For now,” said Rosemary.
“Good night, Prospero,” said Andrew.
11
Andrew woke early, as so often. There was no light yet around the edges of the curtains. Rosemary’s head was on his shoulder, her arm across his chest. Her body had the heaviness of sleep. He didn’t move. The cello recommenced.
After what could have been half an hour, Rosemary’s breathing changed. “Come see the dawn,” said Andrew.
“Only if we go to the beach,” Rosemary said without lifting her head. “And naked, I expect,” said Andrew.
“Should that be in question?” The violins began to dance.
Andrew got out of bed, picked up his red-and-white striped nightshirt, which had spent the night on the floor, gave Rosemary undisputed access to the bathroom, took his turn, brushed his teeth, remembered interrupted love-making.
They’d talked in the darkness. “Your voice is as beautiful as you are,” he’d said.
“Don’t tell me I’m beautiful,” she’d answered softly. “Tell me I’m wise.”
“You are wise beyond my comprehension,” he’d said. “You saw everything.”
“Not quite everything,” she said. “I remembered glamorous Cynthia as skinny fourteen-year-old Cynthia Jane from Texas, a stubborn girl it was my job to train. I never could break her, which I found almost as annoying as her accent. It turns out I misjudged her.”
“Poor Joe,” said Andrew.
“It’s working out just fine for Joe,” Rosemary had said. “But I fear Cynthia Jane is only beginning her journey of self-discovery.”
For a while they were silent. “I hope it isn’t your job to break me,” he’d said. Silence bred doubts. Cathy had been good at silent.
“No, my darling,” said Rosemary. “No no no. My fate and pleasure is to please you. I knew that as soon as we met in London, at dinner with Shiva at that restaurant with the candles and old silver. You were quoting poetry like an undergraduate, sketching deals I could not understand, trying to persuade a sceptical Indian prince to trust a man he had never met – and unable to stop looking at the prince’s wife. I saw right away that you were brave and smart and wounded. You will need a lot of fucking, you know.”
“I know.”
He’d kissed her. She was good at that. She was good at everything. “In that silly game tonight,” she’d said, “thank you for saving yourself for me.”
“It wasn’t hard,” he’d said. “And pretty soon neither was I.”
She’d poked him in the ribs. “It was endearing, though,” she’d said. “Now come closer.”
They touched each other tentatively in silence. “Why would anyone want to be spanked?” he’d asked.
“Strange wiring,” said Rosemary, “but it doesn’t seem to embarrass Joe.” And then: “I’m feeling bad about Cynthia Jane. Would you just hold me for a while?”
“Of course,” Andrew had said, turning and wrapping an arm around Rosemary. Suddenly it seemed important to put space between the savage ceremony Sally had made them part of and what they did in private for each other. Sleep had agreed, laying its soft blanket over them almost immediately. And now it was a new day.
They went downstairs and out the door as quietly as possible. When they got to the tunnel through the bushes, they heard a noise from the house and looking back saw George and Janis, evidently on the same errand. George had always looked good naked. He and Janis looked good together, though it felt impolite to stare at her. “Shall we wait for them?” said Andrew.
“I want to be first,” said Rosemary. She danced down the wooden steps and into the shallow surf. Janis was in after her within half a minute, and they began splashing each other. More freckles.
“Did we ever expect this, when we were eighteen?” the Governor asked his old friend, as they watched their women get wet.
“Of course we did,” said Andrew, “but this is better. We thought everything was possible then. We thought we were immortal. Now that we know the truth, life is sweeter.”
“Sometimes,” said the Governor.
“Sometimes,” Andrew agreed.
They both knew they were thinking of the missing Cathy, who had pretended to be happy for so many years. And of Lydia, who had taken a vow to be disgruntled. And other misadventures.
Janis and Rosemary came out of the sea, slapping themselves to get warm. “A double date,” said George.
“I don’t think we ever had one,” said Andrew.
Joe and Sally came down the wooden steps and joined the four of them. “Why do people wear clothes?” said Joe. “It seems so unnecessary.”
“Shiva would never do this,” said Rosemary.
“Nor would Judy,” said Janis.
“Except that here they come,” said Sally.
“He’s not as bad looking as he thinks he is,” said Rosemary.
“She’s good for him,” said Sally.
“I accept that,” said Rosemary to Sally.
“You accepted it last night,” said Sally. “And rather nicely.”
For a moment, everyone, except possibly the Governor, who was watching the horizon become distinct, watched Judy and Shiva approach. “See the brave way she doesn’t cover herself, and how he likes that,” said Sally.
“One’s manners improve with age,” said Rosemary finally, in response to Sally’s compliment, though mostly to herself.
“Oh, I hope that’s true,” said Judy, having joined them.
“Do you know what we were talking about?” said Sally.
“No idea,” said Judy. “I agree with everyone this morning.” And then, as if it were a matter she had been asked to investigate: “Sex is astonishing.”
“The sun’s about to rise,” said the Governor.
For a long minute they all looked east in silence, hugging their new partners, letting the earth revolve.
“I liked that,” said Sally, speaking to Joe but also to them all. “Being held tightly at dawn.”
“Special occasion,” said Rosemary.
“She mostly does moonlight,” said Shiva.
“I’m changing my ways,” said Rosemary.
“I’m retiring,” said Shiva.
“You are?” said Joe, pleased but clearly surprised.
“Hadn’t I mentioned that?” said Shiva. He sounded like Rosemary suggesting he take Judy to see a
tiger. “I want you to run the whole thing – not just the company Andrew is making us invent, but also my whole empire. It will make the tax authorities unable to attack Andrew’s structure. It simplifies everything, in fact. This way, you and I won’t have to spend three months on the shareholders’ agreement. This way, I’ll never have to argue with my brothers again. Can you do that for me? I will pay you a dollar a year.”
Joe laughed.
“He isn’t kidding,” said Judy.
“Your idea?” said Rosemary.
“Partly,” said Judy. “You said he needed a vacation, and I said to myself, why not a long vacation?”
“And Janis will write it all up this morning,” said Shiva, “having had a good night’s sleep.”
“Along with the fee agreements and the confidentiality agreement regarding last night’s activities,” said Janis.
“Is a confidentiality agreement necessary?” said Joe.
“It needs to have nine signatures,” said the Governor.
“Umm,” said Andrew.
There was a brief silence.
“Is she up yet?” said Janis. “Did anyone hear her moving in her bedroom?”
“Evidently not,” said Sally.
“You don’t suppose she would have killed herself?” said Rosemary.
“Rosemary!” said Andrew.
“Very badly brought up,” said Shiva.
“But honest,” said Rosemary.
“I was having the same thought,” said Janis.
“What I think we should do,” said the Governor, “and before some citizen with an iPhone discovers the eight of us looking like a sequel to Lord of the Flies, is go back and make pancakes and be very nice to the Emmy-winning Cynthia McAllister.”
“Oh, God, I forgot she was a journalist,” said Andrew.
“I suspect she forgot,” said Joe.
“She did get rather carried away,” said Janis.
“But to no effect,” said Rosemary, smiling slyly at Andrew.
“Um, yes,” said Andrew. “Let’s be very nice to Cynthia.”
“She’d be implicating herself, if she wanted to spill the beans,” said Janis.
“She wouldn’t like the publicity,” said Joe. “Her audience wouldn’t like it, is what she’d say.”
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