"Gigi, you don't have to do this alone," she said quietly, taking hold of my hand. Hers were warm, pulsing with life and blood. Mine were, in contrast, ice cold.
"But I do," I answered on a sigh. It was pointless, I shouldn't have come here. Lucinda could provide comfort for a while and then she would be gone. And I would be on my own again, fighting all the Dark inside, fighting to hide who I am. Fighting.
"Sweetie," she said, giving my hands a gentle squeeze. "How bad can it be? You're a vampire, you are strong and powerful. Fast and predatory. You are at the top of the food chain. You can do this, Georgia. Because, there is more to you than even that. You are full Light. You are capable of such great things. I know you will find a way to use the side of you that is Light, to guide the side of you that is Dark." She waited for that to sink in, then she added, "Jett is only doing what a vampire does. Play him at his own game."
"How?" I whispered. She had me trapped. Trapped by her words. By her sweet, soft voice and gentle, caring touch. Trapped by the Light that I could see when I looked at her. A beacon of Light that called me home.
She leaned forward and whispered back. "What do you want out of life, Gigi?"
I thought about her unusual question, unsure where she was going with this. What did I want? To be normal, to be safe, to be happy, to be loved. None of which I could ever be again. I pulled my hands from hers and leaned back on the sofa, putting a semblance of space between us.
"OK," she said rocking back on her heels. "What does Jett want out of life then?"
I stared at her for a moment, anger rising at her pathetic attempt to help. She waited patiently, held my gaze with her neutral mask. I sighed and rubbed my knuckles into my eyes.
"He wants control, power. He wants me." I crossed my arms over my chest and challenged her with my eyes to make something positive of that.
She smiled slowly. "Sister, that's what they all want and you know what? It couldn't be easier if it was planned. He wants control, so you give him a little. You make him think he has some appearance of control over you. It is what he will expect, so give it to him." I frowned at her, but she just held a hand up as if to say, trust me. "As for power. Jett gets his power from his position as head of a line, Master of the City. There's not much you can do there aside from cutting him off from either of those roles and I wouldn't recommend that. But, he also wants your power. You deny him that."
"He has threatened me. He will expose me to the Iunctio if I do not join his line. If I join his line, then he has my power."
She looked angry at that. Maybe she hadn't expected Jett to behave in such a way. Maybe she held him in higher regard than I did. I watched as she puzzled through this new piece of information, sure she couldn't come up with a solution to the corner Jett had forced me into.
"No," she said defiantly. "You still deny him your power. He is aware of your skills, you say?" I nodded. "But, he doesn't know how reliable your talents are?" I grimaced, she frowned some more and then after a lengthy pause sighed.
I was right, even Lucinda couldn't think of a way out of this.
"Join my line," she said, a little tentatively. I huffed a breath out in surprise. "If you are of my line, he would not make you join his."
"Would not or could not?" I asked derisively.
She hesitated only a second, but it was long enough to know she wasn't sure. "Could not. He would have to break our Light Bond, he couldn't do that."
I shook my head. "He's stronger than you think, Lucinda. Besides," I sighed. "I don't want to be of your line either. No offence. But I like being alone."
"Being alone may not be such a good idea anymore, Gigi. You're becoming more powerful, I can see your Sanguis Vitam strengthening. You have talents, multiple. " I knew she didn't know what my talents actually were, but she'd picked up I had more than one. Most vampires are good at just one thing, with some minor Nosferatu common skills thrown in to the mix. "He has found a way to use you. Others will too."
She was right. Not only vampires either. Aliath wanted to use me. Just as Jett wanted to use me. Strangely enough, for now, it seemed they wanted to use me for the same thing. Detective or hound dog work. Hunting down a killer and exonerating their kind. Jett wanted to prove it wasn't a vampire who performed these murders, as well as keep the Iunctio from our shores. Aliath wanted to prove it wasn't a fairy, thereby ensuring his own remained hidden in our world.
I just wanted to get a friend off a murder charge.
No matter what though, others would want to use me. Could I remain alone?
I shook my head at her. "I don't want to join a line if I can help it, but if it comes to that," I swallowed, about to say something I never thought I would, "can I get in touch?"
She smiled. " I will always come when you call, Gigi. It would only take a Dream Walk and I could be here." Lucinda is capable of appearing anywhere in the world using a very rare and powerful Nosferatin skill called Dream Walking. Only Nosferatins can see her, to other creatures she is a phantom, not even there. But she can kill, talk, interfere - all while Dream Walking. I was sure she could bring me under her Lux Lucis Tribuo line whilst in that state as well.
I nodded briskly back at her, forcing the tears in my eyes not to spill. I was just a complete and utter mess right now. Alternating between strong emotions; some lifting me up, others dragging me down, and then more making me want to curl up in a ball and cry my heart out. I couldn't win. I was so damn confused with all these warring emotions.
I needed to know I had an out and Lucinda provided that if the time came. But for now, I still had to face this alone. Kara was someone I could rely on, but she wasn't really of this world. She could listen and offer support, but when it came to dealing with Jett and Aliath and the Iunctio, there wasn't a blind thing she could do. I was on my own.
"No," a deeply familiar voice said from the corner of the room. Pine needles and musk wrapping around me. "You are not alone."
Lucinda stood up slowly, a small smile playing on her lips. She glanced at the owner of the voice briefly and then turned back to me and said, "You know how to get in touch, Gigi. I'll come if you need me, but know this; you are stronger than you realise, stronger than any of them."
She turned on her heel and headed out the door, I could hear her skipping up the stairs. No doubt eager to get back to Michel and hoping he was now off the phone.
I kept my head down for a few more seconds and then took a deep unnecessary breath in and raised my gaze to Samson.
"What the hell do you mean, not alone?" I demanded. "Soon you'll all be gone and I'll be on my own."
He smiled, making his eyes dance an amazing combination of chocolate and taupe, and took a sauntered step into the room.
"I would never leave you, Gigi. Never in a million years. Where you go, I shall go. Where you live, I shall live. Where you battle, I shall battle by your side." His voice lowered further. "Where you love, I shall be there loving too."
By the time he finished all of that he was standing right before me and all breath had left my lungs. I hadn't seen him take the extra steps required to reach me. I had only seen his face before my eyes, heard his voice inside my head.
And when he lifted his hand slowly to cup my cheek, it was only his touch that I could feel.
For a moment all confusion, all tumbling emotions were gone. For a moment the sun shone, the world ceased to exist and everything was all right.
And then I came back to my senses.
Thank God.
Chapter 12
Resignation
"It doesn't matter," I said, defiantly. "You can't help me with this." Samson felt responsible for what I had become, of course he would want to protect me, offer support when I appeared to be failing. The fact that he was seeing me like this at all, just made me mad.
"Gigi," he said placatingly, still standing barely a foot away. I could feel his Sanguis Vitam wrapping around me, attempting to soothe me. I pushed back against it and shut him out. I was sick
of him taking that liberty.
He looked momentarily shocked. I couldn't tell if that was because he was shocked I'd blocked him out, or he hadn't actually realised he was using his Sanguis Vitam at all. He swallowed, reschooled his facial features and then took a step back. The space created between us felt like a chasm.
"Look," I said, still gritting my teeth through my anger, "I can't get back to the city, can I stay here today?"
"Of course," he said a little too formally. "You can have my room."
I shook my head automatically, I wasn't going to turf him out of his room. Besides, the last time I'd slept in his bed, he'd been in there with me. Naked. I felt heat wash up my face at those memories, knowing the colour change wouldn't be noticeable on my skin. I'd need to feed to be able to blush.
"I'll take one of the guest rooms." I knew Lucinda's house had several in the cellar, there was bound to be one free for me to use.
"If you are sure," Samson answered in his crisp English accent. I was thinking it was getting more and more pronounced, the harder I blocked his Sanguis Vitam. Because I noticed now, he was still trying to reach me, as though the more I blocked him, the more desperate he was to reach inside my shields and calm me down. It only made me angrier.
"I'm sure," I replied and started heading towards the hallway that led to the stairs that went below ground.
"We should talk," Samson tried, a final attempt to get me to stay in the room with him. To hash out our problems, to no doubt open up. There was absolutely no way I was ready to do that.
I didn't answer, just kept walking determinedly down the hall. His Sanguis Vitam trailed me the entire distance to the cellar, even if he was man enough not to.
The cellar had six chambers, or bedrooms, and a state of the art gym. Four of the bedrooms were occupied. Taken up with Lucinda's Russian vampires - like Samson, they were part of her Lux Lucis Tribuo line - and Michel's personal guards. Which unfortunately included the stuck-up, arrogant, too-cool-for-his-boots Marcus. I was hoping to avoid him at all costs. Down here away from Lucinda, it wouldn't do either of us any good to meet face to face. Already my hand was itching to withdraw my stake. It would be so easy to wipe that smug expression off his face, to watch as dawning horror replaced the smirk he so often wore as my stake slid in through his chest.
Luckily he wasn't about, but the other personal guard was. Matthias was working out in the gym. His bright blue eyes caught mine as I walked past, but he didn't say a word. Just tracked my progress to the empty chamber I could detect at the far end of the cellar hall. It felt like I had a bullseye painted on my back, between my shoulder blades. The sensation didn't abate until I was inside the room and the door was firmly closed. I let a slow breath of air out at the sound of the lock clicking shut and just stood there.
It was several moments later that I realised I hadn't discussed the incident with Jett, my Light and the blood bond of the accord with Lucinda. I'd been so hung up on her leaving, on being abandoned and left alone, that I had clear forgotten what had transpired with Jett. Other than the fact he now knew I was a Nothus - a vampire hunter mixed with Nosferatu in fact - he also knew I could scent emotions as well as individual signatures, and finally he had experienced something hinky with my Light. The only person who could fill in the blanks on that was Lucinda and now I would have to face her all over again. I really wasn't sure if I could do that. It had taken a lot out of me just to face her today at all. I had every intention of making a stealthy, shadowy escape this evening, and as much as I knew I had to take advantage of being near her before she left Auckland altogether, I just couldn't face it right now.
I was a coward and I knew it. And that thought just made me sad.
I climbed onto the bed and lay down on my back, staring blankly up at the ceiling. My life truly sucked. There was no other way to describe the multitude of layered muck that covered me at present. I was no longer human. I couldn't even enjoy the sun. I felt compelled to hunt Rogue vampires, to stake them and then go munch down on a blood vessel of my own. I was something considered repulsive by the majority of Nosferatu, my kind hunted to extinction, a shoot to kill order hanging over my head. The Master of the City wanted me in his line, so he could use my powers. The Herra of the Grey Lords wanted to control me as well, for similar reasons.
My best friend's cousin was being held for murder and I had knowledge that exonerated him, but the Norms wouldn't understand, let alone allow it as admissible evidence in a Court of Law. My sponsor was leaving, starting a new life on the other side of the world. The one man I had ever loved, who had let me down so badly, has decided that I am his and no one else’s. Or maybe he was just staying because Lucinda had commanded it of him. I was confused as far as Samson's motives went and I refused to untangle the mess they created and look at them closely.
But, I did know that I still loved him, but I couldn't let him back in. It would be suicidal. I had enough shit to contend with, without having to rip my heart out and have it stomped on all over again.
And tonight I had a dinner engagement with an old school friend, in charge of the murder investigation, who is immune to my glaze, but not unaffected by it.
I sighed, unnecessarily and rolled onto my stomach. Life was complicated, an understatement, but true. I could lie here and complain, become more and more bitter with my lot in life. Or I could do something constructive. Being confined to a house for the daylight hours was annoying, but I had brought Alison's diary with me. No time like the present to try to gain some clues.
I pulled the black leather covered book from my jacket pocket and thumbed through the pages. Alison had led a popular life. Most evenings were taken up with dates, both professional dinner appointments and personal meetings. There wasn't one evening in the week where she didn't have something planned after work.
Most of the professional meetings could be picked out by their venue or the small notations to the side. Many at SubZero's headquarters, and the rest at a small bistro just round the corner on Symonds Street. A couple had been recently held at a sports bar in Newmarket. From what I could tell, the sports bar was just one of many recipients of SubZero's sponsorship. Any meetings held there were purely to heighten SubZero's profile. Pre-mixed drinks were all the rage for ladies at sports bars. The Guts and Glory was just the flagship of SubZero's latest push into this type of bar.
I was surprised Alison attended any meetings to push their products, being the CEO I expected her to operate behind the scenes. But from what I had heard, SubZero was a tightly knit family. Everyone pitched in where needed.
I scanned all of the business meetings first. Nothing obvious stood out, other than the fact Vive La Vodka was at the top of their promotions list. So much so, that any other flavours were simply being forgotten completely in their marketing plan. In fact, every business meeting since the drink hit the bars six weeks ago centred around that flavour.
I flicked back, prior to Vive La Vodka hitting the shelves and confirmed my suspicions. Any marketing strategy before the VLV launch date always consisted of a multi-layered approach. A main flavour to be touted first and foremost, with several existing flavours represented in the background. SubZero did not believe in promoting just one flavour above others. They were proud of their entire range and as such were determined to promote them as a set. Any prospective bar would pick up the full range, not just the newest release.
Until six weeks ago, when Vive La Vodka practically became their only focus.
I rolled to my feet to start pacing and considered this. I'd always found the Norms' reaction to Vive La Vodka a little disturbing. Hell, Kara's reaction just last night was evidence enough of how insidious that drink was. I cursed my lack of attention lately, so many distracting emotions and problems had made me miss the glaringly obvious facts. There was something not quite right about this newest release of Vodka Mixer from SubZero. And I was betting my fangs on there being a connection between Alison's death and this particular drink. But what?
I sat back down on the edge of the bed and flicked through the diary again. There was nothing in detail about the drink at all, only appointments and notations referring to VLV as being the reason behind each meeting. I counted them up. In the past month alone, Alison had 30 appointments pertaining to this marketing campaign alone. There was the odd in-house meeting for inconsequential things, but any meeting with someone outside of the firm involved VLV. And none of the meetings appeared to be repeats. Different people every time.
I'd found a connection, Vive La Vodka, but I wasn't any closer to connecting the drink with a single person - or perpetrator - than before. Just enough for me to go on, but I needed to know more. Alison’s laptop had been missing at the office. I assumed it was with the police, but maybe it was at her apartment.
As much as I wanted to deny it, it was becoming more and more obvious that a visit to her home was called for. Breaking and entering again featuring on my resume. I was quite sure I wasn't going to get anything out of Mark this evening, so rather than pin my hopes on him, I was going to go with my gut. I needed to get into Alison's house, but I had no idea how to accomplish that.
Sure I can use shadows to hide, but I'd never picked up lock breaking skills or alarm bypassing abilities when I was given my supernatural talents upon turning. I could ask Jett for help. Not happening. He'd made it quite clear that it was my job to solve this and he would just wait in the wings until it was done. I could try to find the fairy. Ha! Not a chance. The fairy scared me witless.
That left a horrible possibility as the only option available. Samson. Could I go there? Honestly, I wasn't sure. Not after how I had just behaved when in his presence upstairs. But I did know Samson would keep my secrets. I couldn't tell if that was because of how he felt or because of Lucinda's direction. But, he would assist me if I asked. And Samson was a whiz with security systems. He'd be able to bypass any alarm on Alison's home. With weary resignation I acknowledged that he was likely my only course.
Mixed Blessing (Mixed Blessing Mystery, Book 1) Page 14